Sizochinsinsi kuti kugonana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa moyo wathu wa tsiku ndi tsiku - ndi zochuluka zedi zomwe sizikusaiwalika. Komabe, ndi chiyanjano chotani chomwe mungathe kukambirana, ngati nthawi zambiri muli mawu akuti: "Kumutu, kukhumudwa, kutopa, perenervnichala, ndi zina zotero". Ndipo pambuyo pa zaka zingapo, dongosolo la kugonana kwa conjugal limakhala lodziwika bwino (linasamba ndipo linapanga chikondi), kuti kungopitako kulibe kopita. Kuchokera panopa yowonongeka, kuchoka pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku ndikukulolani kuti muzimve kumverera kokongola kwambiri ndi ntchito yosasinthika.
"Mtsinje watsopano" wa kugonana kwanu - momwe mungapangire
Poonetsetsa kuti bedi lanu silikhala lopanda pake, simukuyenera kugwirizanitsa malingaliro anu azimayi, kuika malire, ndikuyamba molimba mtima nthawi yoyesera. Inde, "mpweya watsopano" mu kugonana ndithudi umafuna kuleza mtima, chipiriro, ngakhale kuli koyenera.
Yambani mwa kufotokoza momveka bwino zofuna zanu kwa wina ndi mzake. Pambuyo pake, kufotokozera za malaya osakanizika kapena zachabechabe zopanda mphamvu nthawi zonse zimakhala zamphamvu, ndipo amakhala pansi kuti akambirane za kugonana, monga nistranno, pa chifukwa china alibe kulimba mtima ndi nthawi. Mawu okha sali okhudzana ndi chiganizo chopusa, amamweka pakamwa, ndipo mawu omwewo amangoti "atuluke" kuchokera kumutu. Pa nkhaniyi, muyenera kukhala oleza mtima komanso ochenjera, chifukwa mafunsowa ndi awa: "N'chifukwa chiyani mukubwerera kumbuyo pakhoma musanamalize?" Kapena "N'chifukwa chiyani tifunika kuthamanga tsiku lonse, koma tikhoza kusamala?" Palibe chowonjezera kukhumudwa, komanso mkwiyo. Ndipo popeza nkhaniyi ndi yovuta kwambiri, ili pano makamaka "kuswa nkhuni," osati kukhumudwitsa wokondedwa. Komabe, izi sizikutanthauza kuti nkhani "zokhuza kugonana" sizinayambe.
Kugonana, monga kumenyana, kukwiya, kulimbikitsa kukondana, komanso kubwezeretsa kwa okwatirana. Pothandizidwa ndi banja, mavuto ambiri a m'banja amathetsedwa. Nzeru ya kale imanena kuti "okondedwa akukankhidwa - akungoponyera mphero", chifukwa pambuyo pa mkangano, monga lamulo, "chiyanjanitso" chimabwera. M'mbuyomu, kulandira chisangalalo chosakumbukika kuchokera pachibwenzi, mumayamba kumvetsa kusiyana kwa vuto limene lapangana nanu.
Kawirikawiri amadandaula za kugonana, zomwe zisanachitike zisanachitike, pamene mumadziwa zonse zisanachitike - mawu, kusuntha, ndi izi moyo wanu wa kugonana umatsogolera. Koma yesetsani kukhazikitsa moyo watsopano mu moyo wapamtima, popanda kuyembekezera malo ndi nthawi.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna, atabwerera kuchokera kuntchito, ayamba kumenyana naye pakhomo, musamukakamize ndi mawu kuyembekezera madzulo, kusambira, ndi zina zotero. Pambuyo pake, kugonana kosasangalatsa kumapereka chidwi, chikondi, kutentha, zosaiwalika.
Ndiyenso amafunika mawu ochepa kuti apange maonekedwe. Mwachitsanzo, masikiti ovala nkhope kapena kutsekemera pamutu sikuthandiza kugonana. M'malo mwake, zovala zatsopano zamkati, nsapato zamasewera ndi nsapato zapamwamba zamtunduwu zidzachita chinthu chanu ndi mwamuna. Komabe, apa ndi koyenera kumamatira kumvetsetsa, kuti musamawopsyeze mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, mukukumana ndi malo osadziwika bwino nkhope, masiketi, nsapato, nsapato.
Komabe, kugona pa udindo wa kapolo wogonjera, ndi njira yosangalatsa. Ena mwa mphamvu zawo zonse amakondwera kwambiri. Gwiritsani ntchito zida zanu zopanda thandizo komanso kumvera, ndipo mwamuna wanu sadzakhala ndi kanthu kalikonse, atangoyamba kuchita yekha. Chofunidwa ndi kufunafuna.
Komanso mukhoza kupita njira yowopsya. Sankhani zovala zapamwamba zokongola, konzani zosangalatsa zosangalatsa nyimbo, kukonzekera muzhustrichtiz. Yesetsani kuvomereza musanayambe kutero, mutha kuyang'ana komanso musakhudze, ndipo munthu uyu akulimbikitsa kwambiri.
Zoonadi, maanja omwe ali kale okondwa zaka zambiri zaukwati sakudziwa chomwe chimatanthauza kubweretsa kugonana. Ndipo inunso mutha kukwaniritsa izi, ngati simukuyamba kuyesa kuyesa ndikuyambanso kuyambitsa maloto anu okondweretsa kwambiri. Pomwepokha mutha kulowa mu chipinda chamoto chokoma, chomwe mudapitako pachiyambi cha chiyanjano chanu.