"Nsanje - zikutanthauza chikondi" - motero nzeru za anthu. Chabwino, pali chowonadi mu izi. Koma bwanji ngati mwamunayo akutsogolera magawo onse omwe mumatenga? Zomwe mumakayikira zingakhale zoipitsitsa. Kodi nsanje ndi chiyani, chifukwa chiyani kumverera kumatilepheretsa kukhala ndi moyo komanso momwe tingachitire ndikumverera kotereku? Psychology ya ubale wa banja: nsanje - nkhani yowonongeka ya lero ...
"Ndikuopa kum'taya," "Ndikuganiza kuti sakundikonda," "Ngati amandikonda, moyo wanga udzatha," "Sindifuna kusiya ndekha," "Ndiwe wokongola, ndipo pali amayi ambiri osakwatira ..." - ndi momwe amai amafotokozera mmene akumvera. Amuna nthawi zambiri amalankhula za mantha awo ndipo nthawi zambiri amatchula ufulu wawo ("Ndi mkazi wanga, choncho ndikuyenera kuganizira maganizo anga"). Koma akatswiri a zamaganizo amati: iwo ndi achinyengo ndi iwo, ndi ena ... Zowona zenizeni za nsanje ziri mu chisamaliro chathu.
Nchifukwa chiyani tili ndi nsanje?
Palibe yankho lolondola la funso ili. Wina sakhala wodalira mwa iwo wokha ndikudziyerekeza nthawi zonse ndi anthu ena ("Ndi wokongola, tsopano amayamba kumukonda ndikundisiya"). Winawake amaopa kusungulumwa komanso kusatetezeka kwa anthu ("Popanda mwamuna, sindikhala ndi moyo"). Winawake amapereka chifuniro cha malingaliro kapena zongoganizira ("Bwanji ngati ali ndi buku kumbali?"). Ndipo wina amangobwereza khalidwe la makolo awo ... Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chosiyana: Mwachidziwikiratu, nsanje ndikumverera kwa umunthu, komwe kuli koyenera kulamulidwa. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kuzindikira kuti ndinu omasuka, okhutira okha omwe mwasankha kukhala pamodzi. Chifukwa chiyani muyenera kusintha maganizo anu ndikukhumudwitsana ndi kudana?
Ngati muli ndi nsanje
Mtsikana wina wazaka 31, dzina lake Karina , anati: " Pamene ine ndi Kolya tinakumana koyamba, ndinkaona ngati akundipusitsa. - Komabe, posakhalitsa ananena kuti milungu iwiri yokha msonkhano usanachitike ndi chibwenzi chake. Poyamba sindinagwirizane kwambiri ndi nkhaniyi. Ndiponso, mkati mwa theka la chaka mwa njira iliyonse adamuthandiza kuti apulumuke. Tinkakambirana momasuka za chibwenzi chake, ndinakambirana naye pachibwenzi chake ... Pomalizira, ndinazindikira kuti sitinali awiri, koma atatu ... Ndipo adakhumudwa kwambiri: Ndinapeza chiwerengero chonse pa msungwana wosalakwa, Muwoneni iye, werengani nkhani yake pa intaneti. Ndinali wansanje kwambiri. Nthawi iliyonse yomwe adalankhula ndi bwenzi la SMS , ndimaganiza kuti anali nawo makalata. Ndinayenera kudzikweza ndekha ndikuponyera nkhani yonse pamutu mwanga. Takhala pamodzi kwa zaka zitatu, ndipo tsopano palibe chifukwa chochitira nsanje . "
Karina anachita bwino! Anthu ochepa kwambiri amatha kuzindikira bwinobwino vutoli ndikulikonza. Kawirikawiri ichi ndi vuto lalikulu la ubale wa banja. Azimayi amakonda kukokomeza, choncho simungalole kuti malingaliro akuyendetseni mumakona.
MMENE MUNGACHITE?
1. Musati mufunse za zapitazo. Kodi mungakambirane bwanji bwenzi lanu la chibwenzi? Inde, amamukonda. Muyenera kuvomereza ndikuzindikira izi. Koma tsopano ali ndi inu. Khalani lero.
2. Kutaya kuyang'anitsitsa. Aliyense ali ndi ufulu wachinsinsi. Ndipo lekani kuŵerenga imelo ya mwamuna wake ndi kuwona SMS yake. Pamapeto pake, ngakhale mnzako ali wokongola ndi mlembi Lenochka, sizikutanthauza kuti akugona naye. Kutsogoleredwa ndi ulamuliro: osadziwika pang'ono - kugona bwinoko.
3. Muzidzikonda nokha. Mwa njira, chifukwa chachikulu cha nsanje ndi kudzichepetsa. Musanayambe kuganiza kuti mumakonda wokondedwa wanu, ganizirani nokha. Nchifukwa chiyani ayenera kukusintha? Tengani chidutswa cha pepala ndikulemba 20 (osachepera) a "pluses" anu. Awerenge mokweza maulendo 10 ndipo onetsetsani kuti palibe chabwino pa dziko lapansi.
4. Muzizisamalira nokha. M'malo modzizunza nokha ndi kulingalira, kumasula vuto ndikusintha ku china. Mwachitsanzo, kusamalira maonekedwe anu. Kodi mwakhala nthawi yayitali bwanji ku malo olimbitsa thupi? Ndipo pa phwando ndi cosmetologist? Chitani izi ndikuzichita. Mwamuna wanu adzazindikira ndithu khama lanu.
5. Lolerani mwamuna wanu ku chirichonse. Ngati muli ndi ubale wapamtima ndi mnzanu, funsani kuti akuthandizeni. Mwina mukukambirana za vutoli, mudzapeza kuti simukudandaula za nkhani yake yomwe ingatheke pambali, koma kuti simukukhala pamodzi. Izi zikufunikanso kusinthidwa.
Ngati muli ndi nsanje
Ziwerengero zosawerengeka ndi izi: Amuna ndi nsanje kwambiri kuposa akazi, ngakhale kuti amasintha kawiri katatu. Katya, yemwe ali ndi zaka 27 , anati: "Nditatha zaka zisanu ndikukhala ndi Igor, ndinasudzulana. " Ndimamukonda mpaka pano, koma, mwatsoka, sindingathe kudandaula chifukwa cha nsanje yake." Pamene ndinali kukhala mu lamulo, zonse zinali zabwino, koma pamene ndinapita kuntchito, momwe khalidwe la Igor linasinthira kwambiri. Nditakhala m'ofesi kwa mphindi 10 zokha, anayamba kundiimba mlandu. Anayamba kuyendetsa phazi lililonse limene ndinatenga: adadza kudzandigwirira ntchito, anandilola kuti ndizivala zovala zokhazokha, ndinamuletsa kuti azijambula. Sindinathe kuzipirira! "
Nkhani ya Catherine ndi yofanana. Mwinamwake, sikuti mwamuna wake samamukhulupirira iye. Amaopa kutaya mphamvu pazimenezi, komanso udindo wake monga banja. Nthawi zambiri nsanje imabisika chifukwa cha nsanje. Ntchito yabwino ya mkazi wake, kuthekera kwake kupeza chinenero chimodzi ndi anzake, kutchuka kwake mu gulu - zonsezi zingayambitse khalidwe la mwamuna wake.
MMENE MUNGACHITE?
1. Musapereke chifukwa. Ndizoopsa kuchititsa nsanje mwakachetechete. Kodi mnzanuyo angatani? Adzatenga mpeni kapena kuthamanga kuti alembe ndondomeko ya kusudzulana? Musayese okondedwa anu "mphamvu." Ndipotu, kawirikawiri, "kuyang'ana" kumeneku kumabweretsa zotsatira zosalephereka.
2. Musapange zifukwa. Mukamamveka bwino komanso kumamenyera chinachake, chitetezo chanu chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri. Njira yabwino yotetezera ndi kuukira. Ndipo tsono, mutsutseni iye ndi zifukwa zake: "Mungalingalire bwanji chinthu choterocho! Kodi mumakayikira mmene ndimamvera? "Zoona, sikofunikira kuti mugwiritse ntchito molakwa mawuwa. Kudziona ngati wolakwa sikuli maziko abwino a banja lolimba.
3. Kanizani. Musalole nsanje kukweza dzanja lanu, kukuwa kapena kukunyozani. Musalire kapena kukhala chete. Nthawi zonse perekani mayankho omveka komanso odalirika. Muyenera kumumvetsa kuti ndinu munthu. Musandilole ine ndipukuta mapazi anga.
4. Kumbukirani alibi. Inde, siwe heroine wa ofufuza wotchipa, koma bwanji ngati wokondedwa wanu ali wansanje ndi wokayikira, monga Othello mwiniwake. Ngati mumayamikira ubale wanu, samverani mnzanuyo: yesetsani kuti musadye madzulo, kuitana, kusiya zolemba. Ndi bwino kuchenjezeratu pasanafike kuti mudzidziwitse nokha.
5. Pitani ku zolekerera. Ngati mnzanuyo akudziŵa kuti ali ndi nsanje ndipo ali wokonzeka kulimbana nawo, kambiranani zomwe zimamuvutitsa kwambiri. Patsanani wina ndi mzake malonjezo ovomerezeka: Iye sadzakuzunzani ndi mafunso, ndipo mudzakumba skirt yanu yaing'ono m'munda.
6. Funsani dokotala. Mwa njira, akatswiri a maganizo amakhulupirira kuti nsanje ndizofanana ndi zizindikiro zake ku psychosis. Pachifukwa ichi, thandizo la dokotala ndilofunikira! Mu psychology ya maubwenzi apabanja, nsanje ndi chifukwa chodziwika kwambiri cha kukula kwa maganizo pathologies.
7. Tamandani mwamuna wanu. Ngati chifukwa cha nsanje ndi kudzichepetsa kwa mwamuna wanu, chitetezo chabwino ndizo mayamiko. Kodi iye sali woyenera iwo? Tamandani ntchito yake, malipiro ake, maonekedwe ake ndi makhalidwe ake. Pachifukwa ichi, sadzakhala ndi chifukwa choti asakuchitireni nsanje, kapena kukuchitirani kaduka.
Kuyambira mopitirira muyeso mpaka kufika poposa
7% mwa anthu onse padziko lapansi amavutika ndi nsanje. Iwo amakhulupirira kuti abwenzi awo akusintha, ndipo chifukwa chake iwowo enieni amanyalanyaza mfundo ndipo samamvetsetsa malingaliro ndi ziganizo zilizonse. Tanthauzo la miyoyo yawo ndikutsimikizira kusakhulupirika kwa wokondedwa kapena kubwezera.
Anthu 50 mwa anthu okhala padziko lapansi (makamaka amuna) ndi anthu ozizira kwambiri. Iwo amayesa kudziletsa mwaokha okha pafupifupi malingaliro onse (kuphatikizapo nsanje). Komabe, sangathe kutchedwa osangalala. Kukana zotsutsa, amasiya kuwona komanso kukhala ndi maganizo abwino. Ambiri a iwo sangathe kukondana ndi kukhala ndi banja.
Zovuta zowona
* Amayi 35% ndi amayi 28% ali ndi nsanje yoopsa.
* Amuna amakhala ndi zaka khumi zochepa chifukwa chokhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, amadwala matenda a mtima komanso matenda amanjenje nthawi zambiri. Anthu atatu mwa anthu anayi amene ali ndi nsanje amavutika ndi kusowa tulo.
* Nsanje ndi yachiwiri pakati pa zifukwa zowonongeka m'banja (pazitsutso zoyamba za ndalama).
* Anthu amtundu wa anthu amtunduwu amazunzidwa chifukwa cha nsanje yawo. Kuda nkhaŵa kwakukulu kumawonetsedwa mu ntchito ya tank yanzeru yomwe imayambitsa chilakolako.
* Pafupifupi 20 peresenti ya kuphedwa kwapakhomo kulikonse chifukwa cha nsanje.