Amayi ambiri amakhulupilira kuti kugonana pa tsiku loyamba ndi chizindikiro cha kusasamala komanso kunyenga. Koma ngakhale chiwerengero cha amayiwa nthawi zina mumutu mwanga chimabadwa ndi lingaliro loti izi zingachitike ndipo n'zosangalatsa kuti amuna amagwirizana ndi kugonana pa tsiku lawo loyamba. Mkhalidwe uwu, munthu aliyense ali ndi lingaliro lake pa nkhaniyi.
Kugonana pambuyo pa tsiku loyamba: zolinga
Momwe mwamuna amachitira zogonana pa tsiku loyamba, monga lamulo, njira yowonjezera yowonjezerana imadalira. Apa ndi bwino kuonetsa mitundu iwiri ya amuna omwe amapita tsiku, kutsata zolinga zawo zapadera. Mtundu woyamba ukhoza kukhala ndi omwe akuyimira anthu ogonana kwambiri, omwe pa tsiku loyambirira akukhazikitsidwa kuti akhale pachibwenzi. Mtundu wachiwiri ndi amuna amene sagonana pa tsiku loyamba, koma kuti asangalatse mtsikanayo komanso kuti apitirize kugonana (pokonzekera kusintha kwawo ku chinthu china choopsa). Poyambirira, mwamuna akamangopanga zogonana zokha, amayembekezera kuti chiyanjanocho sichingakhale choyenera, chifukwa amuna omwe atsimikiza mtima kukokera mtsikana kugona, sangawoneke ngati chinthu chokhumba chawo.
Ngakhale pogona msungwana angamulandire munthu ndi chisokonezo ndi chilakolako, kupatula pa misonkhano yambiri, sadzalandira kanthu kwa iye. Mwamuna wa chiwerengero ichi ndi chovuta kwambiri kusunga, kotero nthawizonse ndi bwino kukumbukira za izi. Inde, ngati mkazi wokhutira ndi malamulo otere a masewerawo, ndiye kuti iye ndi makadi onse ali m'manja, ndipo ngati ayi, ndiye pepani. Ngati mwamuna akufuna kugonana, nthawi zambiri amalankhulapo mokweza. Koma kukakamiza mnzanu kugonana ndi chithandizo cha nkhani zachikondi ndi gawo la amuna osakwatiwa kapena achinyamata. Munthu wamkulu amadziwa nthawi zonse zomwe akufuna. Mwa njira, malingaliro monga "kugonana pa tsiku loyambirira" ndi "kugonana kwa usiku umodzi" kwa iwo, malingaliro awa ali oyenera.
Kuwoneka kwa amuna
Sikuti anthu onse ndi owopsya komanso osayenerera, monga momwe anthu ambiri amaganizira. Inde, munthu aliyense satsutsana ndi chibwenzi pa tsiku loyamba. Mwinamwake, izi zimachokera ku chikhalidwe cha mwamuna cha chilombo, wogonjetsa, wogonjetsa. Oimira abambo amphamvu amayesetsa kuti akwaniritse zolinga zawo mwamsanga, motero, azichita zomwe akufuna, koma osati. Malinga ndi akatswiri, munthu amafunika nthawi kuti amvetsetse ubwino ndi kuipa kwake kwa mkazi ndikuzindikira kuchuluka kwake komwe kuli kofunika kwa iye. Kuvomereza kugonana pa tsiku loyamba, mkazi akhoza kukhumudwitsa chidwi cha munthu kuti am'gonjetse mtsogolomu. Ndipo tsopano tiyeni tiyese kufotokozera mwachidule momwe anthu amachitira zosiyana ndi kugonana mofulumira. Zonsezi mwachikhalidwe tidzagawa m'magulu angapo.
Gulu loyambalo: Malingana ndi kafukufuku wamwamuna, ndilo lalikulu kwambiri. Ziribe kanthu momwe zikumveka zozizwitsa, amuna ambiri amachitira molakwika akazi amene amasankha kugonana atatha tsiku loyamba.
Gulu lachiwiri: izi zikuphatikizapo amuna amene samawona "umbanda" uliwonse. Lingaliro ili ndilo kwa amuna omwe, monga lamulo, ali odzidalira okha ndi opambana. Amuna awa amavomereza kuti nthawiyo ikupitirira, zosautsa za anthu zisintha, ndi zina. Inde, kudzichepetsa kumayamikiridwabe, koma kugonjetsedwa, kosagwirizana ndi anthu, sikungowonjezera "mtengo wa mtengo."
Gulu lachitatu: Osakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi amuna, ndi angati akazi. Taganizirani izi, taganizirani kuti ndi kulakwika ndikuwonongeka - zimamukankhira mwamunayo, kumukakamiza kuti asankhe zolakwika. Amuna amakonda kuwona mtima, kotero amachitira mwachidziwitso, pamene mumalankhula nawo momveka bwino za mantha anu.
Gulu lachinayi: Malingana ndi amuna, kuti asatenge chidwi ndi mkazi atatha kugonana mwamsanga angathe kuthetsa khalidwe lake lolakwika (kulapa, kudziwa). Choncho, ngati mwamuna akufuna "kusonkhanitsa abwenzi ake kugonana," amachoka, koma osati kuchokera kwa iye, koma amathawa yekha, ndipo ngati ayi, musamamuwopsye nokha.
Kuchita izi kwa amuna kuti akhale paubwenzi wapamtima pamsonkhanowo woyamba kukumana ndi anthu ambiri masiku ano.