Ngati mukufuna kukwatira kuti muzimangirira nokha ndikuonetsetsa kuti mnyamatayu sadzapita kulikonse - ndikukukhumudwitsani. Kukwatirana, izi sizikutanthauza kuti munthu akhale womverera komanso wokhulupirika. Zomwe simungafune, koma munthu sangagulidwe, kukakamizidwa kapena kumangidwa. Ngakhale mutapanga zochitika zoterozo, simungathe kumudandaulira, koma momveka kunena kuti ayenera kukwatira, ndiye ngakhale mutalandira chilolezo, simungapeze chidani koma chikondi. Mnyamata akhoza kukhala wolemetsa kukhala pafupi ndi inu, ndipo ubalewo udzasintha kukwaniritsa ntchito. Pakapita nthawi, amatha kunena mobwerezabwereza, kapena kunena momveka bwino kuti, kwenikweni, sakukufunani, ndipo adachita momwe ayenera. Choncho, ngati mukufuna kukwatira ndi kukhala wokondwa, yankhani moona mtima funso ili: Kodi ubale wanu uli wolimba komanso wolimba? Ngati inu nokha simungayankhe funso ili nokha komanso kwa mnyamata, yesetsani kumuuza mnyamatayo, kuti muyankhule naye momasuka ndipo mupeze zomwe akuganiza zokhudzana ndi mgwirizano.
Koma komabe ife tidzabwerera ku funso: momwe tingamvekere kwa mnyamata yemwe mukufuna kumukwatira? Tiyeni tiwone kuti mukuwona kuti amakukondani ndipo amafuna kuti azikhala pamodzi kwa moyo wake wonse. Ndiye, m'pofunika kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake sanayambe kukambirana za ukwati. Nthawi zambiri, yankho la funsoli liri pamtunda palokha ndipo limachepetsa mfundo. Amuna ambiri sachita mantha kuti atengepo kanthu, chifukwa amaganiza kuti: Sindingapereke mkazi wanga wokondedwa ndi chilichonse chimene angafune, chifukwa ndi mofulumira kwambiri kuti amupatse dzanja ndi mtima. Gwirizanitsani, chifukwa mwa njira yawo achinyamata oterewa ali olondola. Ndi mafilimu omwe kumwamba kungakhale m'nyumba. Ndipotu, mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku ndi a zachuma nthawi zambiri amathyoledwa ngakhale chikondi champhamvu kwambiri. Kotero muyenera kuganizira ngati mungathe kupirira zovuta, kulolera kuti zambiri zidzakhala zosatheka kwa inu, komabe mumakonda komanso mumamvetsa mnyamata wanu. Ngati muli osakwanira, musathamangire kukwatiwa. Ngati mumakondana wina ndi mnzake, sitampu ya pasipoti ingathe kuyembekezera zaka zingapo. Choncho dikirani mpaka inu nonse muli pamapazi anu, yambani kupeza zokwanira kuti mukhale ndi moyo wa banja umene mwakhala mumalota.
Ngati mukumvetsetsa kuti simungathe kumvetsetsa mavuto a zakuthupi, ndipo chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa inu ndi kukhala pafupi ndi munthu wokwera mtengo, kenaka kambiranani naye. Musayambe kukambirana mwachangu funso: Kodi simukufuna kukwatiwa, chifukwa tilibe ndalama? Ndi bwino kungolankhula ndi iye zokhuza kuti mabanja ambiri ndi ofunika kwambiri kukhala ndi moyo wabwino ndikupumula bwino, ndipo ngati izi siziri, ndiye kuti awiriwa, mofanana. Koma kwa inu zinthu zotere sizili zofunika kwambiri. Ayi, ndithudi, mukufuna kukhala bwino, koma mukuganiza kuti kuyambira pachiyambi kuti mupeze zosowa ndi zachilendo kwa banja lirilonse lachinyamata. Ndikofunikira kuti tigwire ntchito limodzi, kuthandizana wina ndi mzake, ndipo panthawi yochepa zonse zidzakhala chimodzimodzi momwe tikulota. Chinthu chachikulu ndicho kukhala pamodzi, kukhala mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Kukambirana koteroko kumakhudza munthu. Adzatha kumvetsa zomwe amakhulupirira ndikudziwa kuti simudzasiya kumukonda ngati simukupeza chuma chomwe mukufuna. Ngati mungathe kulankhulana ndi mnyamata, mwinamwake posachedwapa akukupatsani mwayi - ndipo mudzayamba moyo wanu wa banja.
Ndi chiyaninso china chomwe chingakhale chifukwa cha mnyamata kuti akoke ndi kupereka kwa dzanja ndi mtima? Ndipotu, iwo sali ochepa kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, mnyamata amadziwa kuti akadakali wamng'ono, choncho amaopa kudzimana ndi chinthu choopsa komanso chokhalitsa. Kodi mungayankhe bwanji? Choyamba, zingakhale bwino kuyesa maubwenzi anu mozindikira ndikuzindikira ngati kuli koyenera kukwatira munthu woteroyo. Inde, chikondi ndikumverera kwakukulu, koma kumakhala ndi nthawi, pamene muzindikira kuti n'zosatheka kudalira munthu wanu, chifukwa sanakulire, choncho safuna ndipo sangathe kupirira udindo wake ndi zochita zake. Ndipotu, ndi munthu uyu zidzakhala zovuta kwambiri chaka chilichonse. Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti simukufuna komanso simungathe kukhala opanda izo, ndiye kuti muli ndi zosankha ziwiri: kuti musinthe kapena mutsimikizire kuti mwakonzeka kuthetsa mavuto onse, ngati mutakhala m'banja.
Kodi mungakonze bwanji mnyamata? Zoonadi, izi sizili zophweka, chifukwa munthu akhala akuzoloŵera kukhala monga chonchi ndipo safuna kusintha chirichonse payekha. Pano khadi lalikulu la lipenga lingakhale chikondi chake kwa inu. Ngati mumadziwa zomwe mnyamatayo amakonda, funsani funsoli mwachidule: kaya ayamba kukhala ngati munthu wachikulire wachibadwa, kapena mumachoka. Sikoyenera kuti tingoti izi, komanso kuti tifotokoze momveka bwino kwa iye zomwe akulakwitsa komanso momwe ziyenera kukhazikitsidwa. Ndikofunika kuti azichita mwanjira yomwe mnyamatayo amadziwira: ngati sachita chilichonse posachedwa, ndithudi mudzayenera kubwereranso.
Ngati simukudziwa kuti akumva bwanji, koma simukufuna kukhala ndi moyo popanda iye, zimangotsala kuti zitsimikizire kuti mungathe komanso mutenge chilichonse, ndipo akuyenera kukhala pafupi. Mwinamwake, mnyamata wachichepere adzakonzekera njira yabwino yotereyi, ndiyo kungokhulupirika kwamuyaya ndi chikondi chenicheni sichikuyembekezeredwa. Zoonadi, chisankho ichi sichitha kutchulidwa kuti ndi chabwino komanso choyenera, koma mkazi aliyense ali ndi ufulu wosankha kuti moyo ungamuchitire chiyani, zomwe angapereke ndi zomwe.