Mmene mungakhalire ndi mtsikana, ngati mnyamata atambasula dzanja lake?

"Momwe mungachitire ndi mtsikana, ngati mnyamata atambasula dzanja lake? "-kufunsani funsoli ndi amayi ambiri kuposa momwe angawonekere poyamba. Banja lalikulu lomwe likuwoneka ngati losauka likukumana ndi vuto la nkhanza zapakhomo, chifukwa chakuti chizindikiro chachikulu cha nkhanza zapakhomo ndi kuthamangira, kutanthauza kuti, kubisika kuchokera kunja. Izi zimachokera makamaka ku makhalidwe omwe anthu ambiri amavomereza, monga momwe banja kapena maubwenzi pakati pa anthu awiri - poyamba ntchito zawo zonse, ndipo palibe yemwe ayenera kukhala ndi makhalidwe oyenera kulowerera nawo. Mfundo imeneyi ikugwirizana ndi zochitika zakale zomwe zinalipo ku Russia: kusowa kwa ufulu kwa mkazi m'banja, mphamvu yochepa ya mwamuna wake, yomwe idasindikizidwanso mu Domostroi. Mwachidziwikire, kuli Domostroi kuti mtima wokhala ndi mtima wokonda kumenyedwa m'banja ukukhazikitsidwa, ndipo pali zizindikiro zenizeni kuti mwamuna ali ndi ufulu wokweza dzanja lake. Kuphatikiza pa zochitika zakale zomwe zimakhudza amai zimawoneka zosasokonekera pazochitika zawo, zifukwa zamaganizo zimakhala zofunikira, ndipo zimakhudza mbali zonse - mwamuna yemwe anakweza dzanja lake ndi mkazi yemwe ali pansi pake.

Malinga ndi lingaliro la akatswiri a maganizo, mabanja ambiri omwe khalidwe lawo silili latsopano, limakhala ndi kudalira kwambiri kwa wina ndi mnzake. Mwachidule, pamtundu wotere, mwamuna, monga lamulo, amadalira mkazi wake, amamva (kapena samadziŵa) kudalira kwake, amamva kuti alibe mphamvu pambaliyi ndipo amathetsa funso la kusowa kwake mwa njira yoyamba, kuyesa kusonyeza kuti ali ndi mphamvu komanso mphamvu . Wopwetekedwayo, nayenso, kuyesera kudziteteza, nthawi zambiri amachititsa chinthu china. Ngati sichikwiyitsa, wozunza amapeza chifukwa chodziyankhira ndikuyamba yekha. Chizindikiro chofunika kwambiri cha kukhalapo kwa chikhulupiliro cha mkazi kumaganizo ndi chakuti atachoka "kosatha", amabwerera mobwerezabwereza, kugula mapembedzero ndi mapembedzero a wokondedwa wake womusiya. Pa nthawi yobwererayo anali ndi mwayi wokhala wopanda iye, zonse zachuma komanso zakuthupi. Mabanjawa amakhala mu njirayi kwa zaka zambiri ndipo, monga lamulo, musati mulekanitse. Ndipo atagawanitsa - iwo akuyanjananso kachiwiri. Kodi munthu angachite chiyani kwa iwo omwe sali a "mwayi" wotero, amayi omwe alibe chikhulupiliro cholimba cha maganizo pa ozunza awo ndipo akukhumba kuchotsa njira yotereyi.

Tiyeni tiyesetse kuganizira njira ziwiri: choyamba - pamene chiwawa chikuwonekera pa chiyanjano cha achinyamata, kumene mnyamata akukweza dzanja lake, sanalowere pachibwenzi chokwanira ndipo alibe ana, ndipo chachiwiri - pamene chiwawa chikuchitika m'banja lomwe kale liripo. Pazochitika zonsezi, yankho ndilo - kuchotsa chiyanjano mwa njira yopanda chifundo. Pa zochitika ziwirizi, zochitika zapadera siziri zofanana. Ngati pa nthawi yoyamba kusiyana kwake kungakhale kosavuta, ndiye kuti chachiwiri sikumakhala kosavuta.

Zifukwa zazikulu za kuchedwa kwa kusiyana: mantha a mkazi, ngati mwamunayo amamuwopa; Kulephera kuthetsa vuto la nyumba; kupezeka kwa ana ogwirizana; ndipo, pamapeto pake, kukopa kwa munthu yemwe amachititsa mkazi kukhulupirira kuti "iyi inali nthawi yomaliza." Ngati mayiyo akuwopsezedwa, kapena amamuchitira chifundo, amamupweteka kapena amanong'oneza bondo ana amene angakhale opanda bambo - vuto la mkazi, lomwe amadzipiritsa nalo. Kuti tichite zimenezi, nkofunika kumvetsetsa kuti chitsanzo cha bambo akukweza dzanja la amayi ake ndi chitsanzo choipa kwambiri, ndipo amatha kubwereza m'moyo wa anawo mtsogolo. Kutetezedwa kwa abambo m'banja sizolingalira kuti mudzipereke nokha. Ziyenera kukumbukiridwa kuti kumenyedwa kwa amayi ndi vuto losokonezeka maganizo la mwana, zomwe zimakhudza kudzidalira kwake komanso maganizo ake. Malinga ndi deta yolondola, pakati pa anyamata achichepere - ambiri anali oweruzidwa ndi kuphedwa kwa amuna, omwe ananyozedwa ndi amayi awo. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti chisoni sichiri cholakwika, kukumbukira kuti wozunza, pamene adakhudza dzanja la mkazi, sanamve chisoni. Zidzakhala zovuta kuti mkazi athe kupirira mantha ake kwa mwamuna ngati amamuopseza iye kapena ana ake. Mantha ndi chida champhamvu kwambiri chogonjera. Pachifukwa ichi ndikofunikira kufufuza - momwe zoopsa za wozunza zili zoona, ndi zomwe ziyenera kuchitidwa kuti zisakwaniritsidwe. Ngati pali njira yodzizitetezera komanso pali ana, muyenera kuchita. Chifukwa cha kusiyana kotereku, komanso panthawi ya kudalira ndalama kwa mwamuna wamatsenga, mkazi amafunikira thandizo kuchokera kunja. Kungakhale chithandizo cha makolo, abwenzi, achibale, aliyense, ngati izi zinkathandizira. Mulimonsemo, mkazi atachoka mkhalidwe wawo adzafuna mphamvu yaikulu komanso kulimba mtima. Angathandizidwe ndi kufunikira kusamalira ana ake, kufunika kowateteza ku chisokonezo cha nkhanza zapakhomo.

Komanso, sitiyenera kuiwala kuti nthawi zambiri amayi amamvetsa chilichonse, koma amakana kuchita zinthu zowopsya chifukwa choopa kuti "atenge zovala zowonongeka m'nyumba," poopa kuti "ena adziwe za izo", abwenzi, abwenzi ake aakazi komanso nkhaniyi sichiwonjezera pa ulemu wake, kamodzi mwamuna akukweza dzanja lake. Amabisa ku manyazi. Maganizo amenewa ayenera kuchotsedwa nthawi yomweyo mu Mphukira, chifukwa chakuti manyazi amatha pokhapokha munthu atasungunuka, mkhalidwe umayamba kupitirira pazomwe zingatheke ndipo funso silikukhudza thanzi, koma za moyo wa mkazi. Pokhapokha ngati wozunzidwayo, monga akunena, amangochotsa miyendo yake, amaiwala za manyazi komanso mantha chifukwa cha mbiri yake komanso mbiri ya banja lake. Pa chifukwa ichi, siyeneranso kuyembekezera.

Ndidzawonjezeranso ndekha ndikuyembekezera za mtsogolo, zomwe zingatheke kuthetsa kuthetsa ukwati, mkazi azilemba zovuta zonse zolembedwa - pitani kwa madokotala ndipo mutha kugwiritsa ntchito apolisi. M'tsogolomu, ngati mnyamata amayesera kubwezera bulangeti kumbali yake pa chisudzulo posankha yemwe angakhale ndi ana, zolemba zoterezi zingathandize mkazi kukhala wabwino.