Wafilosofi wotchuka Arthur Schopenhauer ananena kuti anthu akamakondana kwambiri, nthawi zambiri mayesero amakonzekera. Ndipo nthawi zambiri mayeserowa amachokera kumene simukuyembekezera. Akatswiri a zamaganizo azindikira kuti ntchito za aakazi, zong'onong'ono ndi mabwenzi zimakhala zamphamvu kwambiri, zimakhala zolimba pakati pa okonda. Mzimayi amene ali kumenyana ndi mwamuna wosanyalanyaza adzalandiridwa ponseponse. Ndipo ngati ali wokondana komanso abwenzi okondwa, atsikanawo akhoza kukhala anthu okhwima maganizo omwe angayese mwakhama zofuna zawo mwaukwati wawo komanso kuyanjana naye.
Zomwezo zikugwiranso ntchito kwa amuna: ngati ali pachibwenzi ndi mkazi wake zonse ziri bwino, iye amakhala wokondwa ndipo akusangalala mokondwa, ndipo osati pa misonkhano yowakomera, amatha kupeza mbiri ya wotchuka. Ndipo pamene abwera kwa anzake pokozlovit pa mutu wakuti: "Azimayi onse ndi opusa" kapena: "Koma ndodo yanga dzulo ...", iye amakhala mwamuna wake mu kampani iliyonse.
Palibe china chowononga koposa mphamvu ya otaika amene adasonkhana pamodzi poyanjana ndi anthu opambana. Ndipo popeza pali mavuto ambiri m'masiku athu ano, n'zovuta kuti tisagwirizane ndi anzawo omwe ali ochepa muukwati wa abwenzi kapena abwenzi.
Vuto lachiyanjano pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi lingabwere chifukwa cha zolakwa za "okonda kwambiri". Ndipo pamene zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kugonjetsa, zimayandikira kwambiri kwa munthu amene akuda nkhawa za ubale wanu ndi theka lina. Lero tikambirana zokhazokha zomwe zimachitika pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ndi wina wa achibale-ndi mwamuna wa mwamuna wake.
Kusamvana ndi apongozi ake
Mtundu umenewu umayesedwa kuti ndi wovuta kwambiri pa mavuto a m'banja. Zimakhala zovuta kupeŵa mavuto pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, ngati apongozi anu sakuvomereza mpongozi wanu. Kawirikawiri, khalidweli limachokera ku mavuto onse ovuta kwambiri. Izi zikutanthauza kuti angathe kuthetsedwa pokhapokha atathandizidwa ndi katswiri wa maganizo. Mitundu yonse yopanda njira ingathe kukhalira pakati, yomwe imachepetsanso kukula kwa zilakolako, koma siipereka mpata wokhala mgwirizano weniweni.
Komabe, palinso nsonga zapadziko lonse zomwe zingakuthandizeni kusintha zinthu ngakhale pokhapokha pokhapokha ngati padzakhala zotheka kuthetsa bwino.
Mitundu yoyamba yothetsera ndi yodalirika, koma anthu amavomerezana. Icho chimaphatikizapo mwa mwamuna mwiniwakeyo kumanga malire pakati pa mayi ndi banja lake latsopano. Amayi adalera mwana wake, ndi nthawi yopumula ndikudzipangira nokha. Mwanayo amatha kudzisamalira yekha ndikukhazikitsa mafunso ambiri pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku ndi ubale wa banja. Ngati mayi sakudziwa izi, nkofunika kumanga msinkhu wogwiritsa ntchito mwakhama pogwiritsa ntchito mfundoyi: "Ndikumvetsa, koma sindivomereza!" Pofuna kuphweka, mwamunayo amatha kunena mawu amodzi omwe kumayambiriro koyamba amaletsa kuyesera konse kwa amayi kuti azilankhula zoipa za mkazi wake kapena kukwera ndi uphungu ndi kukondweretsa . Mwachitsanzo, angakhale mawu akuti: "Amayi, ndimamvetsa maganizo anu ndikuthokoza chifukwa cha uphunguwo, koma ndikuganiza mosiyana, ndipo ndikuchita momwe ndikuganizira." Poyambira, simunganene kuti: "Timakhulupirira ..." Ngati apongozi ake achita nkhanza ndi mpongozi wake, zidzakhala ngati chifuwa chofiira cha ng'ombe yake.
Mwamwayi, sikuti nthawi zonse amuna ali kumbali ya mkazi, nthawi zina amaima kumbali ya mayi ndikuyamba kulankhula ndi awiriwa. Vuto la mtundu uwu wa ubale ndizosapeŵeka. Komanso, amakhulupirira kuti mkazi wopanda matenda sangathe kukhala ndi moyo kwa nthawi yaitali. Mavuto omwe amachititsa nthawi zonse amachititsa zilonda zam'mimba, zilonda zam'mimba, kuperewera kwa mimba komanso ngakhale mabala oyambirira. Mkhalidwe uwu sungakhoze kunyalanyazidwa kwathunthu ngati mkaziyo ndi wokondedwa ku moyo wake. Ndipo ngakhale palibe mafunsowo aulere kapena osagwira ntchito m'dera mwanu, ndi bwino kuyanjana ndi akatswiri a maganizo a pa intaneti ndikuwerenga mabuku.
Pali chiwerengero chochepa cha zosankha kuti athetse vuto la zirombo ziwiri - mwamuna ndi apongozi ake - pambali ya wozunzidwa, ndiko kuti, mkazi. Mmodzi ndi kuthandiza apongozi ake kukhazikitsa moyo waumwini. Monga lamulo, akazi, amayamba kukangana ndi nsanje kwa ana awo, ali ovuta kwambiri. Ndipo ndibwino kuyang'ana njira zomwe zingalimbikitse ubale wawo ndi abambo ake. Ndipo ngati palibe apongozi, ndi bwino kuyesa kumudziwa ndi amuna. Ndipo osasamala komanso opanda zizindikiro. Kawirikawiri, kukhazikitsidwa kwa moyo wapamtima wa apongozi awo, omwe m'dziko lathu ali aang'ono panthaŵi ya kukula kwa mwana wamwamuna, amathandiza kuthetsa chidwi chake chonse.
Njira ina yothetsera mkangano ndi amayi apongoziwa ndi kupeza malo omveka bwino. Kawirikawiri, mkazi wamng'ono ndi apongozi ake amatsutsana ndi gawo ngati akukhala limodzi. Ndipo mwanayo ndi mwamuna samalowerera m'modzi mwa munthu mmodzi, chifukwa mayi wolamulirayo anamuphunzitsa kuti "akhale chete". Pachifukwa ichi, malo abwino kwambiri m'banja lachifumu kwa mkazi ndi malo awiri. Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kumachititsa amai anu kukhala malo opanga zisankho, kukhala amodzi kwambiri, ndipo mwamuna aziyendetsa zinthu zonse ziwiri. Kuyesera kuletsa mwamuna wake, kukakamiza kuti asonyeze ntchito ndi kupanga zosankha m'banja - ili ndi njira yokha yopsereza mkangano kwambiri. Pambuyo pake, zikutanthauza kuti mkazi anabwera kunyumba yatsopano ndi cholemba chake, ndipo akuyesera kubwezeretsa ubale pakati pa mayi ndi mwana omwe apanga zaka zambiri. Njira iyi si yoyenera kwa mabanja omwe apongozi awo amasonyezeratu zizindikiro za kudzichepetsa, kusadziŵika kwa zokambirana komanso makhalidwe ena a psychopathic.
Ndipo, potsiriza, ndiyenera kutchula za gulu lachitatu ku mkangano - za apongozi ake. Kuchokera kwa iye, nkhani yothetsa mikangano yamtendere imadalira ngakhale zambiri kuposa mwanayo. Chikhalidwe chimenecho chimakonzedwa kotero kuti apongozi awo sali ochepa kuposa ana awo kupita ku chiyanjanitso kapena kuyesa patali. Komabe, iyi ndi njira yeniyeni yothetsera vutoli. Ngati apongozi anu abwera kuchokera kudziko, ndipo mukuwona kuti ali woona mtima mwa zolinga zake, ndipo sakuyesera kukuchititsani, samakana kulankhula. Kawirikawiri iyi ndi njira yophweka komanso yothandiza kuthetsera mavuto onsewa ndi iye ndi mwana wake!