Koma n'chifukwa chiyani timakonda munthu kapena anthu ena? N'chifukwa chiyani anthuwa amawoneka ofanana? Chifukwa chiyani tsogolo la joker likuwonanso masewero omwewo m'madera osiyana? Mysticism? Pokhapokha ngati kufufuza kwa kufotokoza sikukutengedwa ndi akatswiri a maganizo. Gwiritsani ntchito mfundo zothandiza zogwirizana ndi amuna.
Chikondi chosakwanira
Kodi munayamba mwamvapo kuti mafanizi anu onse mu nthawi inayake amafanana mofanana? Kuyang'ana mmbuyo ndi kumvetsa kuti "omvera onse - (m'malo mwa mawu onse onyoza)" akutsogoleredwa ndi zozizwitsa za zomwe mwakumana nazo, zomwe mwazifukwa zina munasiyidwa ndi awa okha, oyenerera okha mawu okhumudwitsa? Ndipo akazi omwe akusankha iwe ngati chinsinsi, samawoneka ngati wina ndi mzake, kuyambira ndi chibwenzi chaubwenzi? Pokhala ndi chidziwitso choterocho, kuganiza kovuta kungayambe, komwe kawirikawiri kumakhala pamapeto a imfa, chifukwa mosiyana, osati mu "nthabwala za chiwonongeko" zopanda pake, izi sizikhoza kufotokozedwa mwanjira iliyonse. Nchifukwa chiyani zili choncho, kuti tikuzunzidwa chifukwa cha moyo ndi "osiyanasiyana osati"?
M'nkhani yomwe idafanana , mnzanga wina adandisangalatsa, ndikungoyima ndi kuganiza, adazindikira kuti anthu onsewa amamukumbutsa za mwamuna yemwe adamukonda kwambiri kwa nthawi yayitali. Nkhani ya malingaliro ake anali okwatira, ndipo sanadzione ngati ali ndi ufulu wowononga banja ndipo adamva zowawa. Koma ndichifukwa chiani anthu anawonekera mu moyo wake, ndani amene anakumbutsa buku lomwe silinachitike? Kodi sikungakhale zomveka kuchokera kumbali ya chiwonongeko kuponya mitundu yosiyanasiyana pasanapite nthawi? Malangizo othandiza pa maubwenzi ndi abambo adzakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi njira zoyenera zogwirizana.
Mu psychology pali chodziwika bwino chotere - "Zeigarnik kwenikweni" (pambuyo pa dzina la Blissy Zeigarnik, katswiri wa zamaganizo a Soviet). Zochitika zosamalizika zimakumbukiridwa bwino kuposa zomwe zatha. Panthawi imodzimodziyo akhoza kupita kumbuyo kwa psyche, kukhala osawoneka, koma pang'onopang'ono amamukonzekeretsa mwadzidzidzi kuti amadzifunse yekha zinthu zomwe zimabwereza zomwe sizinachitike. Mu chitsanzo chanu, mwachiwonekere, msungwanayo sanathe kumaliza chiyanjano ndi munthu wofunikira kwa iye, ndipo akukonzekera dera lozungulira yekha kuti anthu alowe mmenemo zomwe zingamuthandize ku vutoli ndikumaliza pake.
Njira yowonetsera danga imakhala yopanda nzeru ndipo sichidziwika ngati malangizo othandiza pa ubale ndi amuna. Izi ndizo, zizindikiro zosayankhula, zomwe - zowonongeka - zimayang'aniridwa ndi anthu omwe akuyesera kutiyandikira, ndipo zimakhala ngati zitsogozo pazochitika zina: kaya apitirize kugwirizanitsa, kaya apite kumtunda wapatali kapena kutayika kwathunthu. Mu chiyanjano cha mwamuna ndi mkazi, "kuvina" kotereku ndi kokalamba kotero kuti amazindikiridwa mosagwirizana ngakhale ndi osadziwa zambiri pa nkhani zowonerera. Zikuwoneka, manja osadziwika, zizindikiro za mawu - kodi sitikudziwa kuti ndizomveka bwanji kumuuza munthu kuti: "Ndimukhudze!" Kapena "Pita, suli wolandiridwa kuno"?
Ndipo tsogolo, limene timalembera zozizwitsa zotere, kuchokera ku maganizo a maganizo, ndi zomwe ife eni timachita nazo. Anthu amawoneka mmoyo wathu pokhapokha ngati timavomereza. Ndipo mwa njira, chiwerengero cha zochitika za "zinsinsi" ndizochepa kwambiri kuposa momwe timaganizira. Pano pali chochitika china cha maganizo - chithunzi cha dziko lapansi.
Komabe , tikuwona zomwe zikugwirizana, ndipo sindiwona kuti sizigwirizana ndi izo. Kapena mwinamwake timangokonda kukumbukira zoyesayesa zathu kuti tiyandikire kwa anthu ena ndi mzinthu zina kusiyana ndi kubwereza kwathu okondedwa ndi ife. Malangizo othandiza ogwira ntchito ndi abambo adzakuthandizani kuti muthe kusokonekera muzochitika zilizonse zobwera.
Sikuti nthawi zonse zinthu zosakwanira zimabwerezedwa mobwerezabwereza, monga mwachitsanzo kuyambira pachiyambi cha nkhaniyi. Nthawi zina timasuntha ku maubwenzi ena pa mfundo yofanana. Natalia Kravchenko anandiuza nkhani ya mtsikana yemwe mobwerezabwereza anabwereza chitsanzo chomwecho poyanjana ndi amuna: anakumana kwa miyezi angapo ndipo kenako adagawanika, ndipo mtsikanayo adatsimikiza kuti mpumuloyo ndi chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwake, kuti adachita chinachake chimene chinasuntha mnzanga. Mlandu umene unayambitsa ndondomeko ya "kuyendayenda pozungulira" - imfa ya atate wake, zinachitika pamene heroine wathu anali wachinyamata. Kutaya kwake kunali kodzidzimutsa ndi kovuta kwa iye kuti msungwanayo sakanamvetsa kumverera kwake ndi kuchotsa moyo wake wa munthu wokwera mtengo. Anakakamizidwa kuti awonongeke mobwerezabwereza chochitika chomwecho cholekanitsa chofunikira kwa iye.
Pitani kumapeto
Kuchokera ku "Zeigarnik effect" izi zikutsatira kuti timakumbukira chinthu chosatha monga nkhani inayake, yomwe tidzakabwerera pambuyo pake. Ngati timavomereza mfundo imeneyi, ndiye kuti psyche yathu sichizindikira kuti sitingakwanitse - chirichonse chiyenera kubweretsedwa pamapeto omveka bwino, posachedwa.
Mwa njira, kuchokera ku chikhumbo cha psyche kuti musachoke bizinesi yosatha, yotchuka ya psychotherapeutic - Gestalt therapy - yakula. Tanthauzo lake ndilo kuvomereza ndikuzindikira momwe munthu akumverera, ndikupeza njira yothetsera vutolo, ngati ayi, ndiye kuti ndizowona. Mankhwala othandizira (kuchokera ku mawu akuti "mbiri" - nthano) ndi psychodrama zimagwira ntchito zofanana.
Pali zothandiza zambiri zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi ndi abambo, momwe mungasinthire moyo wanu mu filimu "Tsiku la Pansi Pansi" - ngati kuli kotheka kumverera, kugwirizana kulikonse mpaka kumapeto. Koma si zophweka. Kumverera kulikonse kovuta mu chitukuko chake kumadutsa muzigawo zingapo, ndipo ndi kosavuta kumamatirira pa mapapo. Nenani, chisoni, kaya kuchokera ku imfa ya wokondedwa kapena kupatukana ndi wokondedwa, chimachititsa mantha kwambiri ("izi sizingakhale," "izi sizikanatheka kwa ine"), kupsa mtima ("mungandisiye bwanji? ! "), Wokhululuka (" Ine ndikhoza kukonza zonse "," ndiwe amene umadzudzula imfa yake ") kuvutika maganizo kwa nthawi yaitali kapena kotsika, ndipo potsiriza, kutaya imfa ndi maonekedwe a kuwala, kukhumudwa pang'ono. Kupanikizika pa gawo lirilonse liri ndi vuto lalikulu la maganizo, komanso mavuto amthupi.
Nchifukwa chiyani ife sitidzilola tokha kupitirira pa gawo lina lakumverera kwa chitukuko? Chimodzi mwazifukwa ndikuti sitidzilola tokha kapena izi, monga makolo athu sanatilole kuchita. Kumbukirani: "Mtsikana wabwino sayenera kukwiya ndi amayi ake!"; "Musati muwerenge, aliyense akukuyang'anani!"; "Nsanje ndikumverera koipa!" Izi ndi momwe timakhalira ndi lingaliro lakuti pali "zabwino" ndi "zoipa", ndipo timayesa kuti tisayese izi kuti tisakhumudwitse makolo athu. Mofananamo, ife sitikumudziwa munthuyo yemwe mwadzidzidzi anamva chinachake "cholakwika".
Chisoni chomwe sichingapezeko chikhomo ndi "zamzitini", ndipo mphamvu yake yowonongeka imakhala mafuta omwe amachititsa kuti kubwerezabwereza kubwererenso kumagwira ntchito, mobwerezabwereza kutipangitsa kuti tizimasuka kunja ndi "kuzungulira" mbiri yathu, kapena kuti, nthawi iliyonse, yosiyana, m'malo mwawo enieni .
Inde, kufunika kofotokozera kumverera kwanu sikukutanthauza kuti tikhoza kuwonekera momveka, kunena, mkwiyo kapena udani poyera. Koma, m'pofunika, kuzindikira kuti kulipo kwa malingalirowa mwa inu nokha ndi ena, komanso mutha kukamba za iwo. Kwa makolo - kuti "maganizo" osayenera a mwanayo asakhudze ndi zoletsedwa ndi chilango, koma ndi zina monga: "Chabwino, mwakwiya, ndipo muli nawo ufulu. Mwinamwake, ndipo ine ndikanadzakhala wokwiya m'malo mwanu.
Tiyeni tiganizire palimodzi za malangizo othandiza ogwira ntchito ndi amuna, ndi zomwe zingatheke kuti musakhale oipa nthawi ino. " Ndipo musamawope mikangano yomwe ingatheke - ndi yopindulitsa kwambiri komanso yofunikira pa ubalewu. "Pamene akunena kwa ine:" Sitinakangane m'banja lathu! "- Ndikudabwa nthawi yomweyo: Kodi m'banja lotere liyenera kukhala ndi mavuto obisika, mafunso osayankhidwa, maubwenzi osadziwika, malingaliro osagwirizana, momwe zimakhalira zovuta kukhala m'banja lino, ndiye mmodzi wa mamembala ake akudwala matenda a thupi, i.e, somatic (kapena m'malo psychosomatic).