Matenda ambiri amatchedwa "matenda a zaka za m'ma 2100". Mwamwayi, ambiri a iwo amachiritsidwa. Kuwonjezera pa kusungulumwa, matenda opatsirana a chitukuko, omwe akufulumira kwambiri mliriwu amakhudza anthu okhala mumzinda waukulu.
Pa chiyambi chakumverera uku, za kusungulumwa - matenda a maganizo a munthu yekha komanso mosiyana, njira zogonjetsera izo tidzakuuzani.
Zikuwoneka kuti pamene anthu amasonkhana pansi pa denga lalikulu, anthu ayenera kugwirizana. N'chifukwa chiyani anthu akumidzi akuganiza kuti ali yekha? Zomwe zimapanga chitukuko cha chitukuko, anthu ovuta kwambiri amamva kusungulumwa kwawo komanso chiwerengero cha odzipha. Poyamba, kuti apulumuke, kunali kofunikira kukhala ndi zinthu zofanana za moyo (anthu amitundu ankasaka pamodzi amodzi, akusonkhanitsa, amachita miyambo yovina). Anthu, ndithudi, anapulumuka chifukwa chakuti amodzi. Lero, ndalama, chidziwitso, zodabwitsa za sayansi ndi teknoloji zimatipangitsa kukhala odziimira pa ena. Mwinamwake winawake kwinakwake kwa ife amachita chinachake, koma, monga lamulo, kutali. Timapeza mankhwala otsirizidwa. Kusungulumwa ndi matenda aumunthu a munthu, ndi vuto lofala la chitukuko.
Kusungulumwa kwa mwanayo - matenda a maganizo a munthu ndi osiyana ndi wamkulu?
Kusungulumwa kopweteka kwambiri kumakhala kovuta m'zaka zaunyamata: ndi zaka 14 mpaka 16 zomwe zimadzipha kwambiri. M'zaka izi, kugwirizana ndi banja lake kumathera, tsopano mwanayo ayenera kupita kumbali yake ndi chiwonetsero cha banja ngatilo kukonza ndi alendo. Mzimu wa chitukuko umapangitsa mwana wachinyamata kulankhula naye. Zofanana ndizo zikuchitika pakati pa ana apamwamba. Achinyamata sangathe kudziwonetsera okha ku sukulu yamba, kufikira ataphunzitsidwa gulu la nyama zinyama. Pano iwo amalandira ufulu, udindo wawo mu ulamuliro wawo, ndipo atalandira izi, abwerera kwa anthu, kukangana ndi akulu. Anthu amasiyana kwambiri ndi iwo.
Mnyamata kapena mtsikana amachoka m'banja, amamenyedwa ndi kagulu ka anyamata, amadzimva yekha mmalo mwake - izi ndi zachirengedwe, zachilengedwe. Koma kupyolera mukutuluka ndikufunafuna kampani yofanana ndi yopweteka kwambiri. Ngati mwana sangakwanitse kupeza gulu ngatilo m'kalasi kapena kunja kwake (mwazinthu), ali ndi nkhawa - choncho kukayikira, zosatetezeka, zovuta komanso zoopsa zomwe zingathe kudzipha ndi kusungulumwa - matenda a maganizo a munthu. Amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kusungulumwa - matenda okhudza maganizo a munthu amene sakhala ndi moyo wodziimira payekha, atasiya yekha. Ngati kusungulumwa uku kunakhalapo zaka 19-27, mu moyo wamtsogolo munthu adzamuyamikira kwambiri mnzawo, makamaka kuti amukhululukire.
Kwa zaka zambiri, sitidzakhala mabwenzi ambiri. Anzanu a zaka za ophunzira amakhala pafupi kwambiri. Kodi munthu amasokoneza ubwenzi wake ndi msinkhu wake? Nthawi yopanga ubale wapamtima ndi anthu - ana, okalamba, amuna ndi akazi amapangidwa kuyambira zaka 18 mpaka 25. Ngati zaka izi wophunzira akuphunzira mwakhama, akukhala pakhomo pa kompyuta - alibe mabwenzi. Panthawi imeneyi ndikofunikira "kupita kudziko", kupita kumudzi wina, kukakhala ku nyumba ya alendo ndi osadziwa, kuphunzira kuyankhulana ndi iwo, kugwirizana ndikukhala ndi anzanu - adzakhalabe mabwenzi a moyo. Ino ndi nthawi yabwino kwambiri yopanga ochezeka. Pambuyo pa zaka makumi atatu, maubwenzi atsopano ndi maubwenzi ndi ntchito (timagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chatsopano, amagwiritsa ntchito ife). Otsatira achichepere ambiri amanjenjemera, enieni, amtima wapamtima. Anthu awa amadziwa zambiri zokhudza ife, ndipo timadziwa zambiri zokhudza iwo. Pakati pawo mukhoza kugawana zofuna zanu, mantha, kukhala ndi zofunikira zina. Iwo ndi mboni za moyo wathu. Tikakumana nawo, nthawi zonse timamva mphamvu yowonjezera mphamvu, ngakhale kuti sitinawonane kwa nthawi yaitali. Ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa magulu amenewa mpaka zaka 25.
N'chifukwa chiyani nthawi imapita , ndipo sizimawonekera?
M'nthaŵi yathu, makolo ali ndi udindo waukulu kwambiri wa ana. Nthawi yofunika ndi yofunikira yopatukana - kuthyola chingwe cha maganizo ndi banja - sikuchitika. Achinyamata akukakamizidwa kukhala pansi pa denga limodzi ndi makolo awo, kupempha ndalama pa filimu - izi zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhale wamkulu.
Ngati abambo ndi amayi amabweretsa mwana wao ku disco ndikudikirira kutuluka kuti abwerere mmbuyo, ndi ndani yemwe angamudziwe bwino? Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kwa msungwana kuti azisankha bwenzi lake: pambuyo pake, ayenera kuyang'aniridwa ndi banja lonse. Mmodzi amaoneka kuti sali wodalirika kwa papa, wachiwiri sali woyenera kwambiri - kwa mayi, ndipo msungwanayo, pokhala wodalira, sangathe kunyalanyaza maganizo a achibale. Akazi oyang'aniridwa amakhala pakhomo nthawi yomwe mungathe kulankhulana momasuka, kukhala moyo wovuta kwambiri, mikhalidwe yovuta, phunzirani kudzidalira.
Kodi kusungulumwa kumachokera kuti?
Kusungulumwa uku - matenda a maganizo a munthu ali ndi mizu yozama ya maganizo. Pokhala m'mimba, mwamuna anali mbali yoposa yeniyeni, adamva bwino, amamva kuti watetezedwa. Kukumbukira za dziko lokongola nthawi zonse kumatitsogolera ife kupeza anthu ndi mikhalidwe yomwe ife tingadzimvere tokha. Ndicho chifukwa chake mungakhoze kuimba ndi chisangalalo chotere. Ndipo mugonane! Kulankhulana kochepetseka kumatipatsa ife kanthawi kuti tithawe kumverera kosasemphana kokhumudwitsa. Koma kwa kanthawi. Mwinamwake munthu akanakhala moyo wake mosiyana kwambiri, akanamvetsa bwino kuti iye anali yekhayekha. Ndipotu, tonsefe timakhala muzipinda za chikumbumtima chathu ndipo sitingathe kugwirizana ndi aliyense. Pali nthawi zosangalatsa zoyanjana ndi anthu ena, koma izi ndi chinyengo. Monga zolemba zala kapena zojambula pa masamba a mtengo womwewo siziwoneka zofanana, anthu sagwirizana ndi wina ndi mzake - kumverera kwa chibwenzi ndi kanthawi. Zomwe zimakhalapo nthawi zonse zimabwera pokhapokha pamene tikuphunzira kusinthasintha mu ubale.
Pambuyo pangozi , kukhala ndi mtundu wina wa zovuta kumakhala kovuta kwambiri - palibe luso lokhala moyo wodziimira, kumverera munthu wanu, kupeza magulu anu. Kuyendetsa zopitirira malire a banja lanu ndi kwakukulu kwambiri pakatha zaka 15-17, ndipo ngati banja limapatsa mwana mwayi woti achoke, amakula mwamsanga, ayambe kuganiza ndi kusamalira yekha, makolo ake. Pansi pa mtengo wa oki sukula - ichi ndicho chikhalidwe chokula.
Pakati pa akazi (osakhala okongola) nthawi zonse amadzaza ndi amuna, ena - anzeru ndi okongola - akhala okha - matenda a maganizo a munthu. Kodi chinsinsi n'chiyani? Momwe munthu angakhalire ndi maubwenzi ndi amuna kapena akazi, zimadalira kwambiri mmene mwanayo amachitira ndi makolo ake, kaya akumva kuvomereza kwawo. Kukwanitsa kukonda ndi kumvetsetsa ena kumadalira kuvomereza kwa mayi, ndipo amatchedwa kukhulupilira kofunika kwambiri padziko lapansi. Zimapangidwa mpaka zaka ziwiri - mpaka m'badwo uno munthu amaphunzira kukonda, kumvetsa chisoni, kumvetsa. Ndipo ngati izi zidachitika, timakhala ndikudalira moyo wathu, ndikudziyika tokha pamapeto a anthu ena. Koma zimachitika, chiyanjano ndi amayi ndi mwana chimakhala chovuta. Ndiye munthu amakula daffodil - pamtima pa umunthu wake umakhala ndi kutsimikiza kotheratu kuti iye ndiye malo omwe zinthu zonse zimayenda. Koma moyo suli pafupi ndi aliyense wa ife, ukupitirira monga momwemo, ndipo ife timatengapo gawo, kapena sitimatero.
Kotero, anthu osakwatira mwa chilengedwe - daffodils? Pakati pawo pali zina zomwe zilipo. Chiphunzitso cha Narcissism ndi choopsa cha zaka za zana la 21, maganizo, pamene munthu wina akufunika kokha kugogomezera zapadera! Pamene akundiyang'ana m'diso, amandiyamikira - Ndidzakhala naye, atangokhalira kukondwa, ndikudzimvera chisoni. Anthu oterewa amapita ku moyo, osayandikira ena, amawagwiritsa ntchito, kuwagwiritsa ntchito. Panthawi yovuta, pamene mukuyenera kusintha, musinthe anthu omwe ali pafupi nawo. Miyoyo yawo ikuwoneka yolimba kwambiri, koma ikuwopsya yokha.
Pakati pathu muli ambiri omwe sangathe kumusangalatsa munthu wina, kumva kuti ndi wapadera. Ndipo ichi ndi temberero, chifukwa ngati sitiwona kukongola mwa anthu ena, timapenta dziko ndi utoto wakuda - palibe chokondweretsa mmenemo. Ndiyeno tili ndi chikondi chochepa kwambiri, sitigwirizana ndi chilichonse ndipo sitikudziwa momwe tingagwirizanitsire mphamvu ndi ena. Timadziyika tokha m'ndende ndikukhalamo popanda nzeru.
Pali lingaliro: kuti mupange ubale watsopano, muyenera kuchoka pamalo awo.
Kodi ndi zoona?
Kusungulumwa kwakukulu kwambiri ndiko matenda a maganizo a munthu - izi ndi zosungulumwa zokha. Ngati awiri ali okwatirana, kawirikawiri wina sawoneka pakati pawo. Zomwezo ndizo miyambo: pambuyo pake, adalonjezana nthawi yawo, chisamaliro, miyoyo yawo. Ndipo palibe amene amadziwa kusungulumwa kumeneku. Iwo sangathe kulankhulana, iwo amakula kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, koma amakhala limodzi. Kuti ubale watsopano uyambe, munthu ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti ali mfulu. Ukwati ndizosemphana ndi kafukufuku (inu muli ochepa: za chiyani, ndi ndani momwe mungalankhulire, pa nthawi iti yobwerera kwanu, momwe mungalongosole kubwerera kwanu). Ndipo sikuti ngakhale kukhalapo kwa sitampu mu pasipoti. Ndikofunika kumva mkati mwaulere. Nthaŵi ina ndinali ndi kasitomala popereka uphungu, omwe mwamuna wamtendere sanapereke ukwati kwa nthawi yaitali. Mwamuna wake wakale adakhala ndi moyo wambiri, adagawana bwino, nthawi zambiri anakumana, akukambirana nkhani zofanana. Koma tsiku lina pamsonkhano wokhazikika ndi mayi wina anali ndi funso: Kodi ndikuchita chiyani ndi munthu uyu? Ine ndikupha nthawi! Ndipo tsiku lotsatira mwamuna wake anamuitana kuti akwatiwe naye. Kuti muyambe ubale watsopano, muyenera kumaliza zakale. Ngakhale izi siziphunzitso. Anthu ena ali ndi mitima yokwanira ndi chikondi kwa ambiri: pambuyo pake, timakonda munthu aliyense m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Kodi mungathetse bwanji unyolo wa masiku amodzi?
Choyamba, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti nthawi zonse mumakhala osungulumwa komanso osamvetsetsa bwino ndi munthu wina, ndipo inu nokha simudzawamvetsetsa. Gawo lachiwiri ndi kuzindikira: popeza muli nokha, ndiye ena onse ali ngati inu nokha. Mukhoza kupita kwa aliyense ndikupeza chinenero chimodzi, ngati mutangokhala osungulumwa. Khwerero lachitatu - popeza tonsefe tiri okha - tiyeni tibwere pamodzi ndi chinachake chomwe chimawunikira mchitidwe wathu wa imvi. Tiyenera kutuluka mu malo athu otsekedwa - kutenga gawo loyamba kwa munthu wina ndi palimodzi ndi wina kuti ayambe kuchita zina. Tsiku lina, madzulo a chaka chatsopano, mtsikana wina anabwera kwa ine kukafunsira. Anadandaula kuti anali wosungulumwa kwambiri ndipo anakakamizika kukondwerera Chaka Chatsopano ndi makolo ake. Ndinamufunsa kuti: "Ndipo ambiri a inu ogwira ntchito ndi omwe sakudziwa komwe angakondwerere Chaka Chatsopano?" Zinatero, osati pang'ono. Ndipo ndinaganiza kuti: "Choncho, pangani Chaka Chatsopano!
Sonkhanitsani pamodzi , pita ku zisanu zina zofanana. Konzani ulendo, pitani kukaphunzira kuvina salsa, pita pang'onopang'ono - mubweretseni lingaliro. " Tulukani kudziko lililonse - mukuchitapo kanthu. Kumadzulo, pali ziyambi zambiri zomwe zimathyola bwalo ili - kudzipereketsa pamasewero otentha kapena ntchito yotchuka - kukhala mulungu kapena amayi kwa mwana wina. Anthu a ku America ndi pragmatic, koma amamvetsa: zopereka za nthawi ndi ndalama ku maubwenzi otere zimatsimikizira kuti moyo umatha. Zambiri ndi zodetsa nkhawa zomwe tili nazo, mphamvu zowonjezereka.