Akatswiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti nthawi imene vutoli likuwonekera mu ubale, zimadalira gawo la chitukuko cha banja lomwelo, kuchokera ku zosowa za banja. Banja lirilonse limakumana ndi mavutowa nthawi zosiyanasiyana: wina akhoza kusintha ndi masabata angapo pambuyo pa chisangalalo, ndipo wina atatha zaka makumi angapo zokhala ndi banja losangalala. Kupambana pa nthawi izi nthawi zonse kumadalira chikhumbo cha abwenzi onse kuti apeze zosamvana, kuvomereza, osati kusinthasana.
Crisis First
Zimapezeka tikasintha lingaliro lathu loyamba la mnzanu - ichi ndi mtundu wa kusintha kuchokera ku malingaliro abwino okondedwa a wokondedwayo mpaka zenizeni, zenizeni ndi zowona. Pa nthawi ino, anthu amazindikira kuti moyo waukwati sikuti umangopita usiku uliwonse, kukomana ndi chikondi ndikumpsompsonana pansi pa mwezi, komanso kulankhulana, nthawi zina kusasangalatsa, moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Osagwirizana kokha mu chirichonse, komanso kufunikira kovomerezeka. Pa nthawiyi, nkofunika kumvetsetsa kuti nthawi zambiri pakufunika kusintha makhalidwe anu kuti mukhalebe ndi ubale wabwino komanso malo abwino m'banja.
Vuto Lachiŵiri
Zimayamba pamene pali chosowa chodzipangira tokha kuchokera kumverera kwa "ife", kumasula mbali ya umunthu wathu kuti tipeze chitukuko chathu. Ndikofunika kwambiri apa kuti "I" ya munthu sichikutsutsana ndi "Ine" ya winayo, koma ndi ogwirizana pa mfundo yothandizira. Izi zikutanthauza kuti poyankhulana nkofunikira kugwiritsa ntchito njira yothandizira, yomwe ndi kupeza njira ina: bwanji kuti musatayike nokha nokha kuti musapunthane nokha. Mwachitsanzo, ngati malo amodzi nthawiyi ndi "tili ndi zinthu zonse zomwe timagwirizana, tonsefe tiyenera kuchita limodzi", ndibwino kuti tiziyang'ananso motsogoleredwa ndi njira ina: "Ndimalemekeza ufulu wa wina ndi mnzake ndipo ndimamudziwa ufulu wa moyo wanga womwe sukutseka banja ".
Vuto Lachitatu
Zimadziwika ngati munthu akufuna kudziwa dziko lozungulira, koma nthawi imodzimodziyo amalumikizana kwambiri ndi banja lake, ndipo kumverera kotereku kumabweretsa mavuto m'mabanja. Ndikofunika kuti musaphonye nthawi yomwe ufulu wa wokwatiwa umatha kukhala ndi chidziwitso cha kudziimira kwathunthu komanso kutayidwa ndi banja, pamene wachiwiri adzamvera chifuniro ndi zofuna za woyamba. Kenaka kutsindika kumalo akunja, ndipo banja, mmalo motumikira monga chothandizira chitukuko, mwadzidzidzi chimakhala cholemetsa ndipo chimakhala cholemetsa.
Vuto lachinayi
Zimakhalapo pamene munthu amasintha machitidwe auzimu mkati mwake, ndiko kuti, wokondedwa wake amayamba kupereka zofuna osati ku mbali ya moyo, koma mwauzimu. Zimapezeka kawirikawiri pamene ana akhala akuluakulu ndipo safunikanso kusamalidwa ndi makolo nthawi zonse, ana omwe akufuna kukula ndikukhala ngati munthu aliyense. Banja la okwatirana kawirikawiri limakhala bwino, mwamuna ndi mkazi ali ndi ntchito zina zomwe zimapindulitsa. Panthawiyi, mukhoza kukhala ndi maganizo olakwika: "Popeza tinagwirizanitsidwa ndi ana wamba, m'pofunikanso kuyesa kuwasunga iwo okha, osati kuwasiya iwo okha", kapena "ana okalamba nthawi zonse amandikumbutsa za kuti moyo wanga ukuyandikira, umakhala wopanda pake ndipo ulibe kanthu, "kapena" ife takhala kale kale, tsopano tikuyenera kulola ana athu kukhala ndi moyo, ndipo tingathe kudziletsa tokha. " Zosokonezeka izi zimapweteka komanso kusungunuka m'malo momangokhalira chimwemwe ndi chimwemwe chifukwa chakuti mutha kukhala ndi ufulu kachiwiri, musamangoganizira za ana okha komanso kuti muzichita nokha ndi zomwe mumakonda.
Njira yabwino yolumbirira vutoli: kutuluka kwa kufunikira kwa kusintha, chikhumbo chokhala moyo uno kwa inu nokha, kukondwera ndikukhala ngati munthu. Maulendo ogwirizana, misonkhano ndi abwenzi ndi kuyendera ku zisudzo kumayambanso. Omwe apulumuka masautsowa popanda malire, amamva kuwonjezeka kwa mphamvu, kuwonjezeka kwa mphamvu zofunikira ndi chikhumbo chatsopano chokonda ndi kukondedwa, chidwi cha moyo, chilakolako cha mgwirizano ndi anthu a dziko lonse lapansi ndi okwatirana awo amadzuka.
Fifth Crisis
Iye akhoza kutsatiridwa ndi malingaliro ovuta kwambiri: "Moyo wanga ukuyandikira mofulumira kwambiri madzulo, mapeto ake ndi mapeto ake, ndipo chotero ena onse ayenera kukhala ndi moyo ndi kuyembekezera imfa." Ena okwatirana amakonzedwa pazochitikira zawo, amafuna kuti anthu aziwachitira chisoni ndikupereka chisamaliro chapamwamba. Koma nthawi zonse zimatengera mwachindunji pa munthu mwiniyo chomwe moyo wake umamuwoneka. Pewani opanda pake kapena wodzaza ndi zosangalatsa ndi zochitika zozizwitsa nokha ndi kupindula kwa anthu ena. Munthu akafika msinkhu wina, maganizo ake amakula, amakhala ochepa thupi komanso ochepetsetsa, amatha kukhala ndi chimwemwe cha moyo kotero kuti samangozindikira chifukwa cha unyamata wake komanso maximalism.
Momwemo, m'banja lino, panthawiyi, kachiwiri kumabwera nthawi ya chibwenzi, koma osati wonyenga ndi wopusa monga wachinyamata, koma ndi kudziwa zofooka ndi zofooka, luso ndi chilakolako cholandira wokondedwa wanu. Mtengo wa wokondedwa ukuwonjezeka, tanthauzo la lingaliro lakuti "ife" limakula ndikumverera: "Zina ndi zofunika kwambiri kuposa ine." Panthawi imodzimodziyo, chikhulupiliro cha mphamvu ya munthu ndi chidwi chake pa moyo chimalimbikitsidwa, kubwerera ku zofuna zomwe poyamba zimakonda, kapena zochitika zatsopano zowonetsera.