Tsoka losatha
M'buku lolembedwa ndi William Styroon "Sophie's Choice" wolimba mtima, yemwe adalowa m'ndende, a Gestapo adasankha moyo wake kukhala wovuta kwambiri: mmodzi wa ana ake awiri - mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi - adzaphedwa nthawi yomweyo, ndipo ndani adzapulumutsidwa ndi moyo. Poyankha funsoli, adadzipeputsa yekha kwa zaka zambiri zowawa ndipo, ngakhale kuti adathawa kuchoka ku ndende, adadzipha, osatha kudzimvera chisoni.
Kodi mukuganiza kuti musanakhale njira ina ndi kusankha mumoyo wa zovuta kwambiri, mkazi akhoza kuikidwa mu nkhondo? Tsoka, ayi. Pambuyo pa tsunami ku Thailand mu 2004, dziko lonse linayendayenda nkhani ya Australian Gillian Searle. Anakhala pamphepete mwa nyanja ndi ana ake: chaka chimodzi ndi hafu Blake ndi Lachi wazaka zisanu, pamene mafunde akuyamba. Gillian anagwira ana - ndipo adazindikira kuti akunyamulidwa panopa panyanja.
Kuti mudzipulumutse , munayenera kugwiritsira ntchito thunthu la mtengo wa kanjedza, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mmodzi wa ana ayenera kumasulidwa. "Ndinaganiza kuti zikanakhala bwino ngati akadali wachikulire," adatero atauza olemba nkhani. Koma Lachi sanathe kusambira, kuopa madzi ndikupempha amayi ake kuti amupulumutse. Gillian anapempha mkazi kuti amugwire mnyamatayo pafupi naye. Chirichonse chinachitika maminiti awiri, ndipo tsopano sanamvepo mwana wake. Nkhaniyi, mosiyana ndi bukuli, ili ndi mapeto osangalatsa. Wa Australiya anapulumutsa mwanayo, ndipo mkuluyo ndi mwamuna wake adathamangira maola awiri chiwonongeko ichi: ngakhale mayi wachilendo uja adathamanganso, adayenda mofanana ndi galu ku hotelo ndipo adakwera m'chipinda chomwe madzi adatha kale. Patatha masiku angapo, pamene Searles anabwerera kwawo, mnyamatayo anali akulirabe mosalekeza ndikugwira dzanja la amayi ake.
Kodi Gilian anapita bwanji izi? Nchifukwa chiyani anasiya mwana wamwamuna wamkulu? Kodi sanadziwe kusambira, monga wamng'ono? Popeza kuti chigamulochi chinayenera kupangidwa mwamsanga, chinali chosankha chovuta pamoyo, pogwiritsa ntchito malingaliro ake enieni ndi malingaliro osadziwika, popanda kulingalira maganizo a ena kapena mfundo zachikhalidwe. Zikatero, pamene, mukuti, muyenera kusankha yemwe mungapulumutse kumoto: mkazi kapena mwana, munthu amasunga munthu yemwe ali wofunika kwambiri kwa iye pa zifukwa zomveka. Amapulumutsa amene amamukonda kwambiri, kapena amene amadzimva kuti ndi wolakwa, kapena yemwe "amamuvuta", anena, mwana wam'mbuyo ndi womvetsa chisoni. Zifukwa zikhoza kukhala zosiyana.
Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti mkaziyu anasankha zochita pamoyo wawo movutikira, ndipo sanalekerere, mwinamwake aliyense akanafa. Mayi wabwino, chifukwa amadziwa kuti ali ndi mwayi wotani mwa anawo. Ndipo iye adalandiridwa chifukwa cha kulimba mtima kwake ndi Mulungu kapena tsoka.
Zosangalatsa za mapasa
Zosankha zomwe zikubwera mmoyo zimakhala zovuta kwambiri pamkhalidwe wovuta - yesero lachidziwikire lomwe limagwera anthu ambiri. Koma aliyense wa ife anayenera kusankha ntchito, amuna, abwenzi, tsogolo. Chifukwa chiyani chisankho chili chovuta?
Chifukwa tikuyenera kusiya mipata yonse kupatula imodzi. Timakumana nazo kale ngati kudula, kutayika kwa chinthu china chofunikira. Wodwala wina wa katswiri wa zamaganizo, mtsikana, sakanatha kutenga mimba kwa nthawi yayitali, anayesera kuyesa kuika, ndipo potsiriza, madokotala anati zonse zinali mu dongosolo. Koma chidziwitso cha njirayi ndikuti mazira angapo amamera kamodzi. Zinali zofunikira kupanga zosankha zomwe muyenera kuchoka ndi zomwe mungachotse. Mwana aliyense wamtsogolo ndi mwayi wokondwa, aliyense akhoza kukhala wongopeka, wokongola, wothamanga wa Olimpiki, mwana wodekha ndi wachikondi ... Poganizira zozizwitsa za umayi wokondwa sakanatha kupanga chisankho ndi kusiya mazira anayi onse. Tsopano iye ali ndi mapasa anai, ndipo inu mukhoza kulingalira chomwe chiri chowopsya chachikulu ichi. Mkaziyo adandiyitana chifukwa chakuti nkhaŵa za ana sizimulola kuti azikhala ndi moyo wabwino. Amabisa zinthu zonse zowongoka, kuziyika nyumba ndi alamu, usiku usagone ndipo sangathe kukhala yekha ndi ana - pokhapokha pamaso pa mwamuna wake. Ndipotu, maganizo ake okhudzidwa pangozi kapena kuukiridwa kwa achifwamba ndi chifukwa chakuti iye adakakamiza chidani chake cha ana kuti asadziwe. Inde, iye sakudziwa za izo. Mayi wachikondi ndi wachikondi kunja kwake, iye anali ndi malingaliro a amayi abwino, lingaliro la iye mwini monga mkazi mosiyana ndi ena, mayi wosiyana omwe samwalira konse ana ake (ngakhale pa siteji ya dzira). Koma mtengo wake unali wotsika bwanji.
Zitsanzo zofanana , pamene munthu sangathe kusankha mwayi mwayi wapadera, chifukwa ali ndi chifundo cha malingaliro onyenga, ndi unyinji. Wodwala wina wa katswiri wa zamaganizo kwa nthawi yaitali ankakayikira momwe angachitire: kukhala ndi mwamuna wake, munthu wanzeru, wochenjera, wophunzira yemwe nthawizonse ankamukonda, kapena kupita kwa wokondedwa wake - komanso osati wopusa, komabe mophweka, koma ndi ndalama, kupambana. Ndinasankha kusudzulana, ndinakwatirana ndi wokondedwa, koma ndikupitirizabe kuvutika. Sikokwanira kuti apange chisankho chamtundu, ndicho chochita. Chinthu chachikulu ndicho kusankha mkati. Ngati munthu ali wokonzeka kuthana ndi kuperewera kwa mwayi umodzi, pali vuto la maganizo ndi maganizo a imfa, monga opatsirana amati, "kulira." Wosinthidwa, ukhoza kukhala ndi moyo. Koma ambiri satha kulandira imfa, miyoyo yawo imasanduka gehena. Mzimayi uyu sanamuthandize, nthawi zonse amasowa chinachake, amadwala matenda ovutika maganizo. Iye sanapange chisankho chamkati. Zikuwonekeranso kwa iye kuti akhoza kukhala ndi mwamuna yemwe amakwaniritsa zonse zomwe akufuna: onse anzeru, okondwa, ndi okondweretsa, ndi olemera. Koma kwenikweni izi sizichitika.
Nyumba yopanda malo
Chifukwa china chosankhira moyo ndi chovuta, chimakhala ntchito yovuta - kusafuna kutenga udindo. Kuchokera pakuwona Demyan Popov, mu chikhalidwe chathu chisankho chiri chovuta ndi chakuti ife, mosiyana ndi Aurose ndi Amereka, mwachikhalidwe timagwirizana kwambiri ndi makolo, banja, banja. Tiyenera kuyamiriza ndi kuthandiza ana, kupereka chitsimikizo champhamvu pakati pa mibadwo. Ward, mbali imodzi, amapereka lingaliro la chitetezo, pamzake - salola kulola. Achinyamata samafuna ndipo samadziwa momwe angayankhire pa miyoyo yawo. Mwachitsanzo, mnyamata wina posachedwapa anagwiritsa ntchito vutoli: adaphunzira ku koleji, koma sakonda zapadera, ndipo sakusankha choti achite. Ndinayesa ntchito imodzi, ina, ndinasiya ndikukhala pakhomo, amayi anga pansi pa phiko. Zikuwoneka kuti izi ndizosankha, koma zenizeni ndi kusankha pakati pa zifukwa ziwiri: kutsogolera moyo wachikulire ndi zofunikira zake zonse ndi zofooka kapena kukhala mwana. Anzanga, mtsikana, bambo amamukakamiza kuti apeze, potsiriza, ntchito ina, adakhala wodziimira. Msungwanayo akuopseza kuti achoke. Amzake samamuitanira ku cafe, chifukwa alibe ndalama. Pa nthawi imodzimodziyo, amayi anga ndi abwino, osadandaula. Mnyamatayo amafunika kuthetsa njira yolekanitsa, yomwe imachitika muzigawo zingapo: kudula mutu wa umbilical, kudula, kalasi yoyamba, nthawi ya kutha msinkhu, ndiyeno anapiye ayenera kuchoka pa chisa. Kulekanitsa kuli kovuta ngati ana akuluakulu amakhala ndi makolo awo.
Zokhumudwitsa za amayi ndi amayi ndi mliri wamabanja omwe amakakamizika kukhala kumadera omwewo. Malingana ndi Demyan Popov, pa nthawi imene mkazi amakhala "pakati pa moto" - mkwiyo wa mayi yemwe sanakondwere mpongozi wake ndi cholakwa cha mpongozi wake yemwe sakonda apongozi ake - kusankha sikokwanira. Mkazi wamkulu ayenera kukonza mzere pakati pa moyo wake ndi banja la makolo ake. Mutha kumvetsera zifukwa za achibale, koma muyenera kuwauza momveka bwino kuti ngakhale mukuwakonda, mutha kuchita nawo moyo wanu. Chimodzimodzinso ndi ubale wa mwamuna ndi achibale ake.
Munthu akakhala ndi udindo komanso amasankha zochita pamoyo wake, zimakhala zosavuta kukhala ndi moyo. Kumabwera maganizo a ufulu. Pali mwayi kuzindikira, mmalo mwa kukwaniritsa zokhumba ndi malingaliro a winawake. Munthu akazindikira, amakhala ndi moyo wosangalala, kusankha kwatsopano kumakhala kosavuta kwa iye, chifukwa amavomereza ndalama zambiri mosavuta.
Zojambulajambula pa Titanic
Zotsatira za chisankho chilichonse m'moyo ndi zovuta kwambiri, zomwe zisanachitike zakhala zikukonzedweratu kale ndi mbiri yathu ndi kapangidwe ka psyche. Mwachitsanzo, ngati chisankhocho chikupangitsa munthu kuwonongeka, anthu ambiri amadziimba mlandu. Koma ena okha amapanga chisankho chofunikira pansi pa kukhudzidwa kwakumverera uku. Mnzanga wina, mwamuna wokwatira, adamva zowawa kwambiri kuchokera pa nthawi yopuma ndi mbuye wamng'ono, koma sanaganizepo za kutha kwa banja. Kwa mkazi wake amamanga ntchito ndi chifundo: iye amadwala matenda a shuga.
Kulingalira kozolowereka kumaphatikizidwa mu kapangidwe ka psyche. Makolo amafotokozera mwanayo zoyenera kuchita, ndipo zomwe sitingathe kuzichita, motero zimapanga zozizwitsa zake. Amachita zinthu zolakwika, amadziimba mlandu. Koma mu umunthu wa nyumba yosungirako zopweteketsa mtima, lingaliro la kulakwa limakula mpaka kufooka. Ndipo, mosiyana, mwa anthu a mtundu wa psychopathic, wapamwamba-ego ndi kudzimvera salipo pambali - izo zimalowetsedwa ndi mantha. Psyppath imapanga chisankho, motsogozedwa ndi mantha, ndipo zofuna za anthu ena sizikum'vutitsa nkomwe. Psychopath kawirikawiri amakhala ana opanda pakhomo kapena ana ochokera m'mabanja osayenera kwambiri, omwe palibe amene angasamalire.
Koma umunthu wa nyumba yosungiramo zinthu zamatsenga uli ndi manyazi ambiri. Ngati timakhala ndi cholakwa tikamachita zinthu zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi miyezo yathu yamkati, ndiye kuti manyazi ndi mantha oti tiwone zoipa pamaso pa ena. Kwa katswiri wa mbiri yakale, mosakayikira kuti ali wofooka, wosasamala, akusowa chinachake. Nthaŵi zina, angasankhe kudzimana moyo wake kuposa kudzichepetsa pamaso pa wina. Tiyeni tikumbukire, mwachitsanzo, nkhani yoopsa ya Titanic. Pamene oyendetsa m'kalasi lachiwiri ndi lachitatu anakwera ngalawa, olemekezeka m'chipindamo anali kumwa mowa. Maphunziro sanawalole kuti alowe nawo gawoli. Iwo ankakonda kuwonongeka, koma kuti asunge ulemu.
Makhalidwe oterewa amachititsa kuti anthu aziganiza komanso kuchita zinthu zowonongeka, choncho sangathe kusankha chisankho chomaliza. Munthu woteroyo amasintha zosankha nthawi zonse kapena amakana kusankha, chifukwa amamuwopsyeza. Pa chisankho sakuwona zotheka, koma misampha: kumanzere iwe udzapita - iwe udzatayika kavalo, pomwe iwe udzapita - lupanga lidzasweka ... Pamene ena amapereka malangizo kwa munthu uyu, nthawi zonse amapeza zotsutsana: "Ndi zabwino, koma ...".
Choyambitsa chisankho chingakhalenso china: poopa chiwawa. Chiwawa chiripo mwa munthu aliyense, koma kwa anthu ena kuwonekera kwake sikuletsedwa. Ngati m'banja likuonedwa ngati chinthu chosavomerezeka ndi choopsya, kapena ngati makolo sanalole kuti mwanayo afotokoze zosowa zawo ndi malingaliro ake enieni, amakula osatetezeka, odalira, ndi ana. Zotsatira zomwezo zingayambitse mantha kwambiri. Mnyamata wina, ali mwana, anakantha mnyamata wina ndi mwala ndipo anachita mantha kwambiri kuti wam'pha. Kuchokera nthawi imeneyo, pali chiletso choletsedwa kwa iye. Iye samva kupsa mtima, samadziwa kuti ali wokwiya, sangakhoze kukana zisonkhezero zakunja ndipo monga zotsatira zimakhala moyo wa wina. Ntchito yathu ndikumuthandiza kuti adziwe mkwiyo wake, ndiyeno aphunzire momwe angafotokozere.
Chitsanzo chachithunzi cha munthu wotere ndi msilikali wa "Autumn Marathon". Iye sangathe kukana aliyense, kukhumudwitsa aliyense, ndipo chifukwa chake sangasankhe pakati pa akazi awiri. Nthawi ina, pamene phiri lalikulu likuwonjezeredwa ku mavuto akuluakulu, mwadzidzidzi akuphulika: amalankhula kwa mnzake yemwe wakhala pamutu pake kwa zaka zambiri; amakana kugwirana chanza ndi scoundrel. Wowonera ali ndi chiyembekezo kuti ali pafupi kudzitengera yekha m'manja mwake, kupanga chisankho chofunikira ... Koma ichi ndi chinyengo. Zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pamasewerowa zimasonyeza kuti akuyendetsa galimoto pansi pa mvula yoyamba. Iye, monga nthawi zonse, amathawa mavuto omwe moyo umataya.