M'mawu ake, zenizeni zonse za moyo wa banja "wokondwa" wotalika kwa nthawi yaitali. Monga momwemo, nkhaniyi imati: "+ Ndipo anakhala moyo mu moyo, wautali ndi wokondwa"? Inde, ndiwonetseni ine amene analemba nthano! Koma poyang'ana, zonsezi zinayamba bwino kwambiri! Nyanja ya maluwa, nyanja ya chikondi, serenades pansi pa mawindo, ndi mawu okha okongola ndi ofatsa a makalata osangalatsa (nthawizonse amakhala pa intaneti, ndiyeno popanda munthu mwamtundu uliwonse!)
Momwe analiri wachikondi ndi wofatsa, woganizira komanso womvetsera! Ndipo kodi iye anali wokoma ndi wokongola, akugwedezeka ndi kukongola! Iwo anali ndi chirichonse, mu mafilimu achikondi Achimerika: maluwa a chic ndi malo odyera okwera mtengo, iwo ankatha kukumana ndi mdima ndi dzuwa. Kenaka bokosi lofiira, lofiira mwa mawonekedwe a mtima ndi mawu asanu okondedwa: "Kodi mudzakwatirana ndi ine?" Chabwino, zonse zinayenda bwino ngati "ukwati waimba ndi kuvina +", ochezeka "owawa!", Maloto a amayi anga okondwa + Chisangalalo chachisangalalo chimatha ndi choyamba, koma kale vuto labanja ndi funso lofunsidwa: "Kodi amayi anafuula chifukwa cha chimwemwe? .."
Kalelo mu miyezi yoyamba ya moyo wokhudzana, mabanja ambiri amawona choonadi chovuta cha moyo wawo wachimwemwe . Ndipo sizilibe kanthu kuti akhala akulira kwa mwezi kapena zaka zambiri. Pamodzi ndi mphete zina zowonjezera anagula zatsopano, mwinamwake osati zosangalatsa, komabe achibale, gulu lonse lazinthu zozungulira nyumba, malipiro omwe akanayenera kulipidwa, koma bajeti ya banja yayamba kale, koma muyenera kukonzekera. Mu nthawi yosavuta yolemba anthu, mkaziyo amachotsa magalasi ake owala ndipo amayamba kumvetsa kuti wokondedwa wake samangokhalira kuponya masokosi akuda mozungulira nyumba ndikumwa mowa ndi abwenzi. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chophweka cha momwe ubale umasinthira. Mwamunayo, nayenso, akuwona kuti mkazi wake wokondedwa kwambiri sali wotchinga, koma mphunzitsi wa purigatoriyo. Masikiti okwatirana asanakhalepo, nkhope yeniyeni ya munthu imawonetseredwa, ndipo, monga mawu akuti: Moyo unathamangira ku Paradaiso +
Mnzanga wina adakwatirana zaka zopitirira 30, akukumbukira kuti: "Nditangoyamba kukwatirana ndi mwamuna wanga wam'tsogolo, ndinadabwa kwambiri kuti anali wolondola komanso wozama." Atakwatirana, anandimenya mwangozi, koma iye sankadziwa bwino zinthu zoyambirira, sangathe kuchotsa zinyalala, kapena kusamba kuyeretsa, ndipo sipangakhale kukhala kovuta ndi kulankhula, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta. "Patatha chaka chimodzi, pamene ndapeza kuti mwamuna wanga ndi mwana wa mwana wamwamuna wanga, zikuwoneka kuti adangowonongeka ndi Ndimayamikiranso maubwenzi ndi achibale anga, ndikusunga chinthu chimodzi - mu mikangano yosiyanasiyana mwamuna wanga amatenga mbali yanga, koma ndizo zonse, zinthu zochepa. "Muzinthu zambiri pambuyo pa ukwati, ubale wathu umasintha: ndife amodzi tili ndi moyo umodzi pazinthu ziwiri, zolinga ndi zolinga zomwe zimagwirizana. Mukhoza kukhala ozoloŵera kwa chirichonse, kukhala pamodzi palimodzi, chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti onse akuyesera kupanga banja losangalala. "
Akatswiri a zamaganizo pazikhalidwe: ndalama, chikondi, kuyankhulana, kusakhulupirika, kulera ndi ntchito zapakhomo ndizofunikira kwambiri pa kusiyana kwa okwatirana, izi ndizifukwa zomwe chiyanjano muukwati chimasinthira. Mukakwatirana, kumbukirani kuti anthu samalephera kusintha zomwe zimapanga chikhalidwe chawo. Mkazi amangopatula nthawi kuyesera kuti aphunzitsenso mwamuna wake, nayenso, amayesera kusintha, pakati pa mikangano yonse, palibe wokondedwa amene sazindikira zimenezo, samapanga chitsogozo kwa wina ndi mzake, koma amachokapo. Pambuyo paukwati, achinyamatawo amayamba kumanganso ubale, ndipo izi, monga tikudziwira, zimafuna kuleza mtima ndi nzeru. Khalani anzeru, chifukwa simungapewe mikangano ndi mavuto ngakhale m'banja losangalatsa kwambiri!
Ziwerengero zimati: 26% za kusudzulana zimagwera pa maanja omwe ali okwatiwa kwa zaka zochepera zaka ziwiri, ndipo 51 peresenti ya kusudzulana - zaka zisanu zoyambirira za kukhala pamodzi, chifukwa chiyanjano chaukwati chikusintha. Komabe, mungavomereze, ngati nonse mumakondana ndipo mukufunadi kukhala ndi banja latsopano, ndiye palibe masoko omwe sangathe kukulepheretsani, koma chowonadi chikhalabe chowonadi!
Tsiku lina, mnzanga wina, yemwe anali asanakhale ndi nthawi yolidziwa amayi, anafunsa kuti: "Kodi moyo umasintha bwanji mwana akabadwa, ndipo amasintha?" Ndinayankha kuti: "Palibe kusintha, moyo wakale umangotsiriza ndipo siteji yatsopano imayamba." Kuchokera pa mphindi yoyamba ya mawonekedwe a mwanayo mnyumbamo, ndi iye yemwe amakhala pakati pa chidwi mu banja. Chinthu chokha chomwe chimasintha ndi ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, osati zabwino. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimayambitsa kusiyana pakati pa okwatirana ndi vuto la postpartum. Mosakayikira, amayi achichepere akukumana ndi vutoli, pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana: udindo, maudindo amtsogolo, kusiya moyo waumwini komanso, kutopa, kosatopa. Amayi ambiri atsopano pa nthawi yomwe ali ndi pakati akulota maonekedwe a mwana yemwe angawakonde. Koma pambuyo pa kubadwa, malotowo akuphwera kukhala chenicheni, pambali pake, mnyamata wamng'ono wofiira beet akulira, ndipo sakuwoneka ngati mngelo kuchokera ku malonda!
Nanga chiwerengerocho, ndi kuti, kodi chinapita kuti? Poyamba, mudali wokongola, wokongola, wamafuta a pathupi komanso oyembekezera, ndipo tsopano - wodzala ndi zovulaza pansi pa maso, khungu lobiriwira komanso + Zomwe zimachititsa kuti munthu asokonezeke maganizo, zoposa zokwanira, osakumbukira kusintha kwa mahomoni.
Chomwecho chofanana ndi malingaliro ndi abambo, sindichita manyazi kunena kuti izi ndizovuta kwa iwo. Amuna, mosiyana ndi amayi, amafunika nthawi yaitali kudzizindikira okha ngati abambo, komanso mantha olephera kuthana ndi zolemetsa za abambo, amapanga chikhalidwe chovutika maganizo.
Pa nthawi yovutayi, ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi wofunikira. Mkaziyo amanena kuti mkaziyo samusamalira iye kapena mwanayo, samayamikira kuyesayesa kwake ndipo amakhala ngati wamwano komanso wodzikonda! Mwamuna amene watopa ndi mkazi wokwiya komanso wokhumudwa, amangokhala yekha, nthawi zambiri amatha kugwira ntchito. Wamng'ono yemwe amayembekezera kwa nthawi yaitali komanso wokondedwayo amakhala chifukwa cha mavuto a m'banja.
Natalia akukumbukira chaka choyamba atabadwa monga maloto olakwika: "Kubadwa kwa mwana wathu kunali chiyambi cha mapeto a banja lathu. Nthawi yomweyo nditangobereka ndinayamba kuvutika maganizo, ndipo zinkawoneka kuti moyo watha." Zonse zomwe zinakhala tanthauzo la moyo wanga ndi mwanayo, nyumba , maulendo, maulendo - zonse zinali pa ine. Mwamuna wanga anakhala kuntchito, anadza ngati mandimu yofiira ndipo adagona nthawi yomweyo.Ndinamva kuti kutopa kwake ndi chovalacho sichikugwirizana ndi wanga! Ndinkasungulumwa, ndinaganiza kuti ndikusowa mtendere sipadzakhalanso mapeto Panthawi yotsutsana ndinadandaula kuti mwamuna wanga sanali woyenera kukhala bambo, ndipo mwamuna wanga anayankha kuti anali kupeza ndalama, mwanayo anali udindo wanga, komanso momwe ndinkafuna kusinthanitsa ntchito tsiku limodzi, ndimayesa ndekha m'malo mwanga - Mwinamwake amatha kumvetsa momwe zimakhalira zovuta kwa ine! "Pamapeto pake, mwamuna wanga sanangomaliza ntchito, koma amatha usiku, patatha zaka ziwiri tinathetsa ukwatiwo." Izi ndizolakwika pa momwe maukwati a m'banja amasinthira.
Kuchokera ku izi ndi zosavuta, mverani malangizo a katswiri wa zamaganizo ndikusunga banja lanu. Akazi ali ndi ufulu wogonjetsa kuvutika maganizo kwawo mwa kusintha maganizo pa maudindo atsopano. Sinthani chovala chovala chovala chovala chovala bwino, sintha tsitsi, gula filimu yabwino - yang'anani banja lonse. Inu mumati: "Zing'onozing'ono zoterezi", koma zimathandiza kwambiri kusunga banja ndipo mwangwiro m'malo mwa kuvutika maganizo ndi zopweteka.
"Amayi, ndiwe yani?" Nthawi ina ndinamva chitonzo kwa mwamuna wanga kuchokera kwa bwenzi langa.
Apa pali chifukwa chomveka chokhalira limodzi - kutsimikizira amayi momveka bwino kwa mwanayo. Kubwerera kuntchito, mwamunayo sakudziwa kumene zizindikiro zodziŵika bwino zapita kwa iye, m'malo momudyetsa chakudya, funsani momwe zinthu zikugwirira ntchito kuntchito: "Ndatopa, ndilibe nthawi, ndipo kawirikawiri, mungathe kuchita zonse nokha." Ichi ndi chitsanzo chimodzi cha momwe maubwenzi amasinthira pambuyo paukwati.
Iye sali ndi chidwi ndi nthawi yomwe ati abwere, zomwe adzadye, kaya ali ndi shati yoyera, osanena za kugonana, iye anali pa maholide aakulu okha.
Kupanda chidwi kumatha nthawi zambiri ndi chigololo kumbali, ndi nthawi yoyamba theka la chaka pambuyo pakuonekera kwa mwana m'banja. Mwamuna samamva kuti akusowa, amapezedwa m'malo mwake, ndipo amakhala m'malo achiwiri sakufuna. Zimamveka zopanda pake, koma zoona zake, mzimayi nthawi zambiri amachita nsanje ndi mwazi wake, chifukwa mkazi sanasunge ubale wapitako, ndipo adamkakamiza mwamuna wake ku dongosolo lachiwiri.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo amalangiza kuti: Pambuyo poonekera mwanayo m'banja musamangoganizira za kholo limodzi, kotero kuti ubale sunasinthe. Nsanje ya mwamuna kwa mwanayo ndi yolondola, ndipo imawonekera kokha pamene mkazi samapatula moyo wa mkaziyo, kwathunthu ndi kwathunthu amapatsa mwanayo. Okondedwa abambo ndi amayi, sitiyenera kuiwala kuti alipo atatu mwa inu, ndipo aliyense amakonda mwana wanu mwanjira yanu.
Ponena za "kutentha" kwa mkazi wa amuna omwe analipo pa kubadwa,
mwinamwake, chifukwa, osati chifukwa. Monga akunena, madona okondedwa, makadi m'manja mwanu - funani mpumulo mu ubale wanu, osati kuti okhulupirika adakuyang'anirani, atopa, osapangidwira mu chipinda chobwezera.
Ubale wa okondedwa awiri, monga makwerero, omwe amayamba ndi tsiku loyamba, kuzindikira koyamba + Gawo lirilonse la chiyanjano - gawo lolowera moyo watsopano. Zilibe kanthu kaya ndi ukwati kapena gawo latsopano mu ubale wanu, mimba kapena kubadwa kwa mwana, nkofunikira kuti mutagwirizana kuti muthandizane pamodzi ndichisangalalo ndi chisangalalo, ndipo musaiwale kuti maubwenzi muukwati akusintha.
Okwatirana okondedwa atsopano amadziwa kuti mikangano ndi kugaya zimakhala zovuta zamoyo, ndiye kuti mumakhala mosangalala nthawi zonse, ndipo ana okondwa amabadwira m'banja losangalala. Ndipotu, mumalimbikitsana? Kenako adzanena za iwe: "+ Ndipo anakhala mosangalala + pambuyo pake."