Choyamba, mvetserani zizindikiro zakunja za khalidwe laumunthu.
Ngati munthu wothandizana nawo akutsokomola, amapuma kwambiri, amatha kupindika, nthawi zambiri amawomba, mphuno yake imakhala ndi madontho a thukuta, nkhope yake imakhala yofiira, imakhala yamphongo, nthawi zonse izi zimasonyeza kuti akunena zabodza.
Kuti mumvetse ngati munthu akunyengererani kapena ayi, muyenera kudziwa zenizeni za kulankhulana kosalankhulidwa. Samalani manja ake ndi zizindikiro zomwe thupi lake limapereka.
Munthu amene amalankhula zabodza, amabisa maso ake, amapewa kuyang'ana maso ndi interlocutor. Nthawi zambiri zimakhudza nkhope yake, zimakhudza pakamwa pake, zimakhudza chifuwa chake mumtima mwake. Zizindikiro za interlocutor ndi zochepa komanso zosatetezeka. Nthawi zina, mmalo mwake, wabodza amatha kupereka mphamvu yogwira ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zonse amawongolera zovala, tsitsi, amachotsa majekeseni, magolovesi opweteka, zala zala, kupukuta manja. Panthawi yomwe munthu anena zabodza, akhoza kugogoda phazi lake pansi, kukonza zinthu patebulo. Mwa mawu, kuti azikhala mopanda phindu.
Choyamba ndizoona zoona. Ngati, pambuyo pa funso lanu, maganizo a interlocutor akukayikira, chisokonezo, kusatsimikizika, ndipo akuti panthawi ino ngati ali ndi chidaliro, ndibwino kuti tiganizire.
Munthu akhoza kulingalira kwa mphindi kuti abwere ndi yankho limene mumakonda kapena kukonzekera, ndi bwino kukhala maso. Vomerezani kuti pamene munthu alankhula zoona, sadzaganiza. Komanso tcherani khutu ku kalata ya manja ndi mawu. Ngati, mothandizira, interlocutor akugwedeza mutu wake molakwika, kapena, mosiyana, amamveka mutu wake molimba mtima, kutchula mawu osayenerera, mwinamwake, kumatanthauza kuti umauzidwa zomwe ukufuna kumva osati choonadi.
Monga lamulo, anthu onama, amadzikanira okha, amayesa kudzilungamitsa okha. Iwo amene amalankhula zoona amapita kuzinthu zoipa. Komabe, musaiwale za mawu odziwika bwino akuti "bwino kuteteza - kuzunzidwa".
Kunama ndizosasangalatsa, kotero kuti woyimilira angayese kuchoka m'munda wanu wa masomphenya, mwachitsanzo, kudalira pakhomo, pafupi kubisala kumbuyo kwake, kugwera pa cholowa, ndi zina zotero. Osadziwa, wonama akhoza kukhazikitsa cholepheretsa pakati pa inu mwa mawonekedwe a kapu, bukhu, choyimira, vase, kapena chinthu china chilichonse chomwe mungachipeze.
Poyankha mafunso anu, munthu amagwiritsa ntchito mawu anu omwe akuyankha mwachidule. Iye amayesera kulankhula mmaganizo, mmalo moyankhula molunjika. Wonyenga adzanena mawu ambiri, kufotokoza zonse zochepa, kuyesera kuti asalole kuti muike mawu. Samalani mawu a interlocutor. Mawu okwera kwambiri amakuuzani kuti munthu amakumana ndi mavuto komanso akumva kuti alibe nkhawa. Mawu osungulumwa a wonama apangidwa kuti akhale maso.
Ngati mukuganiza kuti munthu akukunyengani, yesetsani kumasulira kuyankhulana pa mutu wina. Wobodza ndi chisangalalo chachikulu adzatsimikizira lingaliro ili, chifukwa akufuna kwenikweni kuthetsa kukambirana kosasangalatsa mwamsanga. Osalakwa adzaumirira kupitiriza kufotokoza ubalewo mpaka chilungamo chitapambana, ndipo zotsutsa zonse sizidzachotsedwa kwa iye. Kuchuluka kwa kunyoza ndi kusangalatsa mukulankhula kwa interlocutor ndi chizindikiro cha mabodza. Ngati, ndithudi, mu moyo wamba izi sizowonongeka kwa munthu wina.
Ngati mutapeza zizindikiro zonsezi pokambirana ndi achibale anu kapena abwenzi anu, musafulumire kuganiza. Mwinamwake uwu ndi njira yawo yachizolowezi yolankhulana?