Kumbali imodzi, ndi kusadziwa kusangalala, chisangalalo, ndi zina - kupeŵa kudalira, chifukwa ngati mumakhudzidwa ndi munthu - kumatanthauza kuti mumadalira, koma bwanji? Mutu wa kukhudzidwa kwa maganizo sikuti ndi maganizo okha, komanso mafilosofi ndi achipembedzo. Mwachitsanzo, mu Buddhism, Taoism, chifundo, chipani cholandiridwa. Ndipo mu Orthodoxy, chilakolako chimatsutsidwa, ndipo chomwe chimatchedwa "chodziletsa" chimalimbikitsidwa. Ponena za psychology, ndikhoza kusiyanitsa lingaliro la "kudalira" ndi "chiyanjano." Ngati mumasokoneza maganizo anu, mutaya "I" wanu, kuti mudziwe kuti ndinu wotani. Koma ngati malingaliro amakulamulirani, koma mumatha kubwerera ku "I" anu, muli ndi vuto - ichi ndikumverera bwino, chikondi. Komabe, mukalephera kuthana ndi malingaliro anu, kuchitapo kanthu, kutaya mphamvu pazochitikazo, ndiye, kulankhula mwa sayansi, tikulimbana ndi vuto la kuyendetsa galimoto, kuledzera. M'chilankhulo chadziko lapansi, tidzanena za wina: "adakanikira, adakanikira," "adathamanga, pereklinilo." Koma anthu omwe safuna kukhala ndi zifukwa zowonjezera, ndemanga zotsatilazi ziyenera kukhala zogwirizana ndi izi: Wachibwana ndi mmodzi yemwe amapewa zovuta zopezeka pokhala. Koma momwe mungagwirire ndi anthu olenga? Kodi ojambula, olemba ndakatulo, ojambula osakhala ndi obsession? Izi ndi mafuta kwa munthu wolenga, ndipo kulimbikitsanso maganizo, kumapindulitsa kwambiri!
Ndiyo inde. Tonsefe tikakumbukira, Van Gogh adanyamulidwa kutali - adadula khutu lake poyambitsa, kapena pamutu. Kodi mukudziwa momwe azamulungu amalingalira? Munthu akhoza kutsogozedwa ndi mizimu yowala, ndipo akhoza_mdima. Posachedwapa, asayansi apeza kuti 60 mpaka 80% mphamvu zonse zomwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi ubongo zimakhudzidwa ndi njira zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi zochitika zilizonse zakunja. Ndipo ichi ndi ntchito yamkati, yosadziwika yomwe akatswiri a ubongo amatcha "mphamvu yakuda". Poyamba, ochita kafukufuku ankakhulupirira kuti ubongo umangokhala mpumulo, ndipo ntchito yake yochulukirapo imakhala ngati phokoso la ubongo. Nchiyani chinachitika? Chimene chinkawoneka ngati phokoso, makamaka, chinali chigawo cha kuchuluka kwa ubongo, chomwe chimagwira ntchito tikapumula. Mwachidule, mphamvu iyi imamasulidwa osati pa ntchito ya munthu, koma ikamasuka. Zochitika izi m'zaka zaposachedwa zafukulidwa m'mabungwe ambirimbiri okhudza ubongo. Mwachidziwikire, zatsopano, mbali zosadziŵika kale zomwe zili mkati mwa ubongo zapezeka. Koma zikutembenuzidwa, izi sizilibe ntchito? Nchifukwa chiyani timafunikira mphamvu tikapumula? Poyamba, ubwino suwoneka. Komabe, ntchito ya malowa ili ndi tanthauzo lalikulu: ngati ife tifunika kukhala ochepa komanso osalowa mu sayansi, ntchito yawo ndikutisinthira ku zomwe zidzakhale, kukonzekera zochitika zamtsogolo. Chodabwitsa ichi chidatchedwa SPPRM - "njira yochepetsera ubongo."
Kodi kupezeka uku kumagwirizana motani ndi phunziro lathu lero? Chowonadi ndi chakuti ubongo wa munthu yemwe amadalira kwambiri chinachake sichigwira ntchito mokwanira. Zobisika zobisika, mphamvu zosadziwika zomwe zimatipatsa mphamvu, zimalimbikitsa, zimathandizira kuti zifanane ndi tsogolo, kukhala ndi moyo, monga momwe zikunenera, mokwanira - mphamvu izi zimafooketsa ngati pali munthu wodwalayo. Ndipo kodi mukudziwa chifukwa chake? Chifukwa, monga momwe zinakhalira, ndi mkati, mphamvu yeniyeni ya ubongo yomwe imayambitsa maganizo athu. Pamene zaka khumi zapitazo, Marcus Reichl, katswiri wa zamagulu a ku America, adayamba kufotokoza zochitika zomwe ubongo umafa, pamene munthu amaganizira zochitika zomwezo, samangokhulupirira. Iwo awona kuti ndi kulakwitsa. Ziri bwanji? Mwamuna, nkuti, zonse zinalowerera mu maseŵero ochova njuga, ndizo zonse - kusamala, zovuta, ndi ubongo sizigwira ntchito? Deliriamu wa mtundu wina! Koma ayi! Panthawi ino, pali chochitika chofanana ndi momwe mukuvutika maganizo, ndiko: ntchito ya ubongo imachepetsedwa! Ndicho chifukwa chake "kukonzekera" sikungathe kuchoka pachitseko chotsekedwa. Amakhala ndi chikhalidwe chofanana ndi kuvutika maganizo. Icho chimasungidwa ndi zochitika zooneka, koma ndizofunikira kuyesa kusiya - ndipo munthuyo akugwera muchisokonezo chodziwikiratu, vuto losokoneza bongo lotchedwa "kuswa". Kodi n'zotheka kukonda munthu ndikupewa kudalira? Zikuwoneka kuti pamene mumakonda kwambiri, mumadalira kwambiri - mumaganizira za izi, mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa iye kutsimikiziridwa kwa chikondi chake ... Gwirizanani, pamene mumakonda munthu, simungathe kuchitapo kanthu ndi mphuno yozizira. Simunayitane - chabwino, chabwino. Sanapereke maluwa - choncho? Wasintha - palibe chowopsya ... Ndani angathe kuchitapo kanthu mwakachetechete ?!
Tiyeni tikumbukire mtundu wachigiriki wakale wa mitundu ya chikondi: eros (chilakolako), agape (chikondi chogwirizana), storge (chikondi-chidaliro), chikondi (chikondi). Eros ndi chikondi, kukopa, chilakolako, chimene simukulimbana nacho. Mtundu wa chikondi wamunthu wotere: kupanikizika, chiwonongeko, kupambana. Filia ndi chikondi cha chikondi, mmalo mwake, kumverera kwauzimu ndi mwachikondi. Ndiyandikana kwambiri ndi chikondi cha mtsikanayo komanso chikondi cha anzanu. Agape ndi wachikondi, chikondi chauzimu. Yadzaza ndi nsembe ndi kudzikana, zomangidwa pa chipiriro ndi kukhululukira, ndikukumbutsa chikondi cha amayi, zazikulu ndi kudzimana. Storge - kholo, chikondi cha banja, wodzala ndi chisamaliro. Kudalira kwakukulu kumapangidwa ndi eros. Ndipo ngati chiyanjanochi chimachitika mwachilakolako, kugonana, ndiye kuti pali chiopsezo chachikulu chodalira munthu wokondedwayo. Mwachiyanjano chotero nthawizonse muli chigawo chopweteka. Koma ngati ubalewu ndi "utali wautali", pali chidaliro, chifundo, ndi ubale mwa iwo, ndiye kumangomva kwenikweni, chikondi chenicheni. Mtundu wina wofunika kwambiri: chikondi nthawi zambiri chimakhala ngati eros, ndipo kenako zigawo zina zimaphatikizidwa kumaganizo - agape, nthambi, storge ... Ubale umakula ndikusunthira kumtunda wapamwamba. Ndipo ichi ndi chisangalalo kwa onse, kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Komabe, nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti mmodzi mwa awiriwo ali wokonzeka kusamukira kumlingo winanso, ndipo yachiwiri sali. Wina kale alibe chilakolako chochepa, ndikufuna kukhala ndi chidaliro chachikulu, ubwenzi wauzimu, ndipo wachiwiri sangavomereze kwa ine ndekha, ndikusunga mtunda, amatsekera ku zoyesayesa zonse kuti asinthe mtundu wa maubwenzi. Ndiyeno wina amene amafuna kuti akhale paubwenzi wapamtima amayamba kudalira. Iye samvetsa zomwe zikuchitika, chifukwa chake akubisala, kuchotsedwa - iye, mwachilankhulidwe, amamenya mutu wake pakhoma kuti athetse vutoli. Ndikoyenera, makamaka, kuti "iye", koma "she", chifukwa amayi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chikondi chodalira. Ndipo amuna amagwirizanitsa kufunika kwa kugonana, chiwalo chogonana, ndi kugonana kofooka mpaka mumtima, pamtima. Malinga ndi malingaliro, kugonana kolimba kumakhala kochepa kwambiri kuposa kofooka. Kwa amayi, kugonana, ndithudi, ndi kofunikanso, koma chofunikira kwambiri ndikutanthauzira, kugwirizana ndi kumvetsetsa. Komabe, ndikubwereza, ichi ndi chodziwika bwino. Ndipo mfundo yakuti mkazi mufupikitsa angathe kumuthandiza munthu kukhala ndi tanthawuzo la moyo wake, ndipo munthu amene amafunikira nthawi ziwiri kapena katatu, amamupangitsa kuti azidalira ubwenzi wake ndi wosankhidwayo. Iye ali wa iye - chilengedwe chonse, ndipo iye kwa iye - gawo lokha la chilengedwe chake, osati mochuluka. Ndipo iye, ndithudi, akufuna zambiri, amayamba kumamatira ku maubwenzi amenewa, amamangika, amamangika, samvetsa bwinobwino zomwe zikuchitika. Tikudziwa kuti kudalira chikondi kumakhala kovuta kwambiri - mosiyana ndi zovuta zina. Ndikuganiza kuti n'zosatheka kupeza mankhwala, mankhwala othandizira. Ngakhale pochizidwa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo, dokotala amapereka kanthu kenakake, chinthu chosaopsa. Mu chibwenzi, palibe njira ina. Chabwino, musamachite lobotomy!
Kudalira chikondi kumatengedwera ndi zovuta, chifukwa zimakhudza gawo la mtengo wapatali la moyo wa mkazi. Tangoganizani: mtsikanayo adagwidwa ndi chikondi, adagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zambiri, malingaliro ake pa chiyanjano, chomwe amakhulupirira, munthu amene amaganiza kuti akugwirizanitsa zochitika zake, amabereka ana ake, amapeza moyo wake, ndipo tsiku lina amamuuza kuti: "Pepani, Sindikukulemetsani, ndinu mkazi wabwino kwambiri, koma sindingathe kulenga zofunikira pamoyo wanu, ana sakhala okhwima tsopano, "ndi zina zotero" Denga "lingathe kusunthira - podandaula komanso mwazengereza, ndi mowa, ndi chifukwa cha zolaula ... Kupusa kwa kayendedwe kake ndiko chifukwa palibe wina wamwano kwa iwe imelo kufumbwa! Ndipo tsopano mkaziyo akuponya mphamvu zake zonse kuti afufuze zolakwa zake: ndinanenanji? sizinatero? kodi iye anachita chiyani? Ndiye pali kuyesa kupeza mgwirizano. Koma sakuwoneka kuti akukutsutsani ... Bwalolo latseka. Koma nkhaniyi, sikuti ilibe chiyembekezo, ngakhale kuti imabweretsa mavuto ambiri. Kuchokera ku chizoloŵezi cha chikondi chomwe mungathe kuchichotsa. Chinthu chachikulu chomwe mayiyo anazindikira kuti chikhalidwe chake ndi chowononga ndipo akusowa kukonzekera maganizo. Zikuwoneka kuti mfundo ya chithandizo cha kumwa mowa. Kumeneko, amakhalanso akunena kuti: pamene munthu akumwa samadziwa kuti amadalira mowa ndipo sakufuna kuchiritsidwa, palibe chomwe chidzabwere. Ndendende! Ndikofunika kuti mkazi akufuna kuchotsa chikondi chake chowawa. Tsiku lina mayi anga anabweretsa mwana wanga wamkazi kuti andione. Wophunzira, wazaka 21. Iye ali pachikondi ndi mnzake wa m'kalasi, ndipo amamuchitira bwino. Msungwanayo amamuyang'ana munthu pakhomo, akuyitana mozungulira nthawi, akuvutika. Atafika panyumba pake, amayi ake adakatenga nati: "Ayi, adapita kwa amalume anga ku Lugansk!" Ndipo iye, polakalaka wokondedwa wake, osaganizira nthawi yaitali, anathamangira ku siteshoni - ananyamuka kupita ku Lugansk, wopanda zovala, zovala zotentha, osadziwa amalankhula nawo aakazi. Atafika pafupi ndi mzindawu, adagona usiku pamalo pomwepo, mnyamatayo sanakumane (sanapite kulikonse) - ndipo adabwerera ku Kiev ndi chimfine (kumayambiriro kwa masika). Pambuyo pake, amayi anga anazindikira kuti inali nthaŵi yoti mwana wake amusonyeze wothandizira. Mtsikanayo anati ku ofesi yanga, "Ndilibe, amandikonda!" Amayi onse omwe amayamba kukondana, amadzinyenga okha ndi chinyengo chakuti posakhalitsa munthu adzakhala zomwe amalota - amamva maganizo ake, chikondi ndi chisamaliro. Ndikukutsimikizirani kuti ngati zokambiranazi ziwerengedwa ndi mayi wodalirika, iye adzakondwera kuti: "Chabwino, lolani pulofesa pano ati akufuna - ndidzakhalabe wosiyana, Kolya (Petya, Vasya) adzandikonda!" Ndimakumbukira kuti: mpaka mkazi azindikire zomwe zikumuchitikira, ndipo sakufuna kuletsa nkhaniyi, sangathe kumupulumutsa ku chikondi chowawa. Ndipo chinthu china, kupatulapo chinyengo ichi "Adzandikondabe," amagwirizanitsa atsikana omwe adakondana ndi kudalira? Mwinamwake zochitika za khalidweli ndizofala? Kapena zochitika zofanana zaubwana?
Pafupifupi amayi onse odalirika ali ndi zizindikiro zotsatirazi. Makhalidwe - kutanthauza kufotokozera chinachake kwa munthu ndi "kukhala pafupi". Mumtima - madontho otaya mtima kuchoka ku chiyembekezo, kugwidwa m'maganizo kuti "zonse zinali zabwino," m'malingaliro - osakhoza kuganiza kuti mukugwiritsidwa ntchito. Ndipo, potsiriza, chinthu chachikulu: kugonjetsedwa kwa munthu, kutanthauza kusokonezeka kwa kudzidalira. Mukutanthauza kudzidalira? Ayi, kudzidalira kungakhale kokwanira, ngakhale kotsika. Kudzichepetsa kumachepa ndi pamene munthu amasiya kudziona kuti ndiwe wofunikira komanso wa mtengo wake "I". Apa zikhoza kukhala choncho, ndipo mwinamwake hypertrophied "I", pamene izo sizigwirizana ngakhale ndi "I" za wina, koma ndi chinyengo chake, chodziwika ngati loto. Ndili kangati ndayang'ana akazi omwe ali ndi kudzikuza kwakukulu, ndi zotsatira zodabwitsa za moyo - ndipo pamene adathamanga pamapazi a amuna, adadzipereka okha. Mchitidwewu umalepheretsa mkaziyo kukhala wofanana, pakati pa mphamvu yokoka. Iye sakumvetsetsanso chomwe chiri chofunika kwambiri kwa iye: ntchito yake? ana? amzanga? thanzi? Chifukwa munthu yemwe amadalira, wakhala wamkulu kwambiri, mutu waukulu wa moyo wake. Ndipo kodi munthu angapangitse bwanji kutayika kwa mphamvu yokoka? Kodi ndi ndani kapena ndani amene amachititsa kuti azigonana molimba? Amuna ali ndi ndalama, mphamvu, ntchito, akazi, makasinasi, kusaka, masewera ... Zonse zomwe zimadzutsa udindo wawo, chirichonse, zomwe zimathawa kukhumudwa ndi zopanda pake pamoyo wawo. Posachedwa, ndimawerenga kuti zikhulupiliro zina: chakudya, kuchokera kulankhulana, kuchokera ku SMS-mauthenga - amayamba chifukwa cha njala. Chododometsa: mochuluka tili ndi mwayi wopezeka kumverera kwatsopano, ndi njala yambiri! Palibe chodabwitsa, chifukwa tikukhala mu nthawi ya ersatz-kumva. Zomwe zikhoza kuoneka ngati banal, tilibe chiyanjano chokwanira ndi chilengedwe, maonekedwe ndi mafuta. Inde, timayang'ana mafilimu a ZD, timapita ku malo odyera ndi zakudya zokongola, timapita ku SPA, koma thupi lathu ndi moyo wathu sizikusowa zochitika mwachilengedwe - misonkhanowo ku dacha komwe imamva fungo lachabechabe ndi pine shavings; ntchito yeniyeni ya abambo akumudzi kapena ntchito ya akazi, kulankhulana ndi anthu apamtima - osati ndi abwenzi, koma ndi mabwenzi ... Pamene munthu alibe "moyo" weniweni, amamva kuti akuba ndipo amayamba kudzaza zochepa zawo - chakudya, mauthenga a pa intaneti , komanso ngakhale mowa. Munthu amva ludzu la moyo, koma sangathe kumuthandiza. Kodi ndi munthu wotani amene angatchedwe wodziimira?
Ndikuganiza zogwirizana, zokwanira. Wodziimira akhoza kutchedwa munthu yemwe amadziwa momwe angagwirizane ndi dziko lapansi kuti akhalebe pakati pa "kupereka" ndi "kutenga". Ngati tipereka kudziko, timatopa mofulumira ngati munthu aliyense. Ngati titangotenga - ndife ogulitsa banal. Munthu wodziimira yekha ndiye amene anatha kuzindikira maluso ake, luso lake, m'mawu ena, omwe amatsatira dongosolo la Mulungu. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri - munthu wodziimira yekha, ngati zimadalira chirichonse, ndiye mwa kufuna kwake, yemwe ali mbuye, koma osati mwa kufuna kwake. Tili ndi chiwerengero cha chilimwe. Ndikulakalaka tonsefe kukhala ndi chisangalalo cha chilimwe ndipo ndikuloleni ndikuuzeni anecdote imodzi. Nkhondo. Asilikali a Soviet, osasunthika miyoyo yawo, adzalanditsa nthawi ya dziko lawo. Iwo adziyanjanitsa okha ku chirichonse: magazi, nsabwe, kuukira ... Iwo sangakhoze kungodzizoloŵera maphunziro apolisi - kotero iwo anali ndi alangizi a ndale. Pambuyo pa nkhondoyi, mtsogoleri wina wa ndale, pambuyo pake wophunzitsi wandale akuti: "Ndipo tsopano iwe, Ivan, ndi iwe, Ephim, lembani pempho ku phwando, ndinu okamenyana bwino, tikupemphani." Lembani. Ivan: "Ngati andipha, ndiganizireni ndi chikomyunizimu." Fima: "Ngati andipha ine, ndilingalirani ine wa chikomyunizimu. Ngati ayi, ndiye ayi. "