Chilichonse chomwe chikukuchitikirani tsopano chiri ndi dzina lake - chilakolako kapena "chikondi chodwala". Kumverera uku sikubweretsa chimwemwe, koma kumakulepheretsani inu komanso kumapweteketsa mtima ndi zopweteka zomwe simungaganizire.
Maganizo anu amadziwa kuti chilakolako chimenechi sichitha kupitiriza, ndipo simudzasangalala ndi munthu uyu. Koma, kuti muthe kugonjetsa kumverera ukupha mwa inu nokha, simungathe.
Kodi mungatani kuti muchotse chilakolako chanu chomwe chimakhala kapolo wanu wonse? Kodi mungagonjetse bwanji kudalira ndikupeza chimwemwe?
Chilengedwe chodabwitsa kwambiri cha Mulungu ndi mkazi. Osati amuna okha, koma, nthawi zina amalingaliro a maganizo sangathe kumvetsa malingaliro a zochita zathu, zomwe zimayambitsa kusokoneza bongo ndi kudalira amuna.
Amayi nthawi zambiri amavutika chifukwa chodalira chikondi, nthawi zina amuna. Chilakolako ndi mankhwala omwe amawononga thupi lanu lonse, amapereka chachiwiri chosangalatsa. Mwatsoka, chilakolako nthawi zambiri chimasokonezeka chifukwa cha chikondi.
Mwamuna yemwe adakondana chikondi ndi chilakolako nthawi zambiri amakhumudwitsidwa ndi chikondi komanso akazi. Mkazi aliyense wotsatira yemwe amakumana naye, ndipo ndani amene amasonyeza chifundo kwa iye, akhoza kuvomereza mdani ndi gwero la ululu m'tsogolomu.
Kwa akazi, zinthu ndi zosiyana. Ngati mutha kuchotsa chilakolako cha munthu mmodzi, patapita nthawi, adapeza mankhwala atsopano.
Mwatsoka, chilakolako ndi chikondi zimadalira mphamvu ya munthu kukonda komanso kukhala wosangalala. Nthaŵi zonse amatha kupwetekedwa mtima ndi zowawa zomwe zakale zapitazo zimamufikitsa.
Ndikudabwa chifukwa chiyani pali "chikondi chodwala"? Akatswiri a zamaganizo atulukira kuti anthu omwe amadziona kuti ndi ofunika kwambiri amayamba kugonjera chikondi. Kuperewera kwa chikondi kuchokera kwa ena kumapangitsanso kuwona kuti munthu amadalira chinthu chake chachikondi. Anthu awa, alibe chikondi chokwanira, makamaka kwa iwo okha. Akuyesera kudzaza umphawi wopanda pake, kufunafuna chidwi cha munthu wina. Mwachibadwa, momwe akumvera si chikondi. Ndiko kudzikonda komanso kusokoneza.
Chifukwa china chokhalira kukonda chilakolako cha nkhanza ndizolakwika kuti chinthu chopembedzedwa ndi woyanjanitsitsa kwa moyo wamtsogolo. Chikhumbo chokondedwa chimalimbikitsidwa ndi chikhulupiliro chakuti munthu ali abwino mulimonse.
Kodi kuchotsa chilakolako?
Kawirikawiri, kuthandiza munthu kuchotsa chikondi chowongolera, ntchito yothandizira ndi yofunikira. Pambuyo pake, zifukwa zomwe chilakolako cha chinthu chopembedzedwa chimachitika, chimayamba kuyambira ali mwana.
Kuti mumvetse zifukwa, maphunziro a auto akhoza kuthandiza.
Kudziletsa ndi njira yomwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito mu psychotherapy. Chifukwa cha njira iyi, munthu amaphunzira kudzimvera. Amakuthandizani kuti muthetse nkhawa zanu, kuchotsa nkhawa.
Kuti mudzipatse nokha kuchotsa chilakolako ndi chikondi chaukali, phunzirani kudzikonda nokha. Mverani nokha. Ngati sikugwira ntchito, ndiye kuti m'mawa uliwonse tidzilimbikitseni nokha - "Ndimadzikonda ndekha"! Kumbukirani kuti muli nokha. Pambuyo pake, mukufuna kukhala osangalala, chifukwa chidziwitso nokha mukuvutika ndikuvutika.
Werengani mabuku, mvetserani nyimbo, muzidzisungira nokha ntchito, mukakumana ndi anzanu. Njira yabwino yodziikira nokha ndiyo kugula tikiti ku malo osungira malo kapena malo omwe mwakhala mukulota kuyambira muli mwana.