Dzivomerezeni tokha momwe ife tirili

Aliyense wa ife kamodzi mmoyo wanga anabwerera kuchokera ku msonkhano wofunikira - bizinesi kapena chikondi - wosakhutira ndi ine ndekha. Ananenanso kuti: "Zinali zofunikira kudzipusitsa!" Ndipo poyankha ine ndinamva kuchokera mu liwu lamkati: "Ndipo iwe, iwe umaganiza bwanji bwinoko?" Mwa njira, choonadi chiri: kodi mumaganiza bwanji nokha? Pofuna kuthetsa kukayikira ndi kumvetsa zoyenera ndi zofooka zawo, yambani ndi malingaliro. Tangoganizani kuti muli ndi msonkhano ndi mlendo yemwe akufuna kukudziwani bwino. Khalani okoma mtima, osanyenga zomwe akuyembekeza - konzani pang'ono.

Kumene mungayambe
Tengani pepala ndi zigawo ziwiri (kusiya malo okwanira pakati pawo) lembani 12 mwa makhalidwe anu omwe amayankha mafunso "Ndine yani?" ndi "Ndine yani?" Chikhalidwe chimodzi ndi mawu amodzi, ndiko kuti, mayina asanu ndi limodzi ayenera kuonekera m'kalembedwe yoyamba, ndipo muchiwiri - ziganizo zisanu ndi chimodzi. Popeza ichi ndi kudzipereka, tiyenera kutchula makhalidwe omwe akuwoneka okongola kwa inu, komanso omwe, ngakhale opanda ungwiro, amakulimbikitsani ndi inu.

Mwachitsanzo, ndondomeko ikhoza kukhala: "addicting", "sissy", "cholinga" ndi zina zotero. Koma ngati malingaliro akukufotokozerani matanthawuzo owonjezera, musakane. Mndandanda ungawoneke ngati uwu: "Amazon", "flying", "mathithi" ndi zina zotero. Pafupi ndi chikhalidwe chirichonse kuchokera mndandanda zonsezi lemba mosiyana. Sitikugwirizana ndi ulamuliro wa zotsutsana za mtundu wa "chimfine" chomwe chakakamizika kusukulu, koma za momwe mukuwonera kutsutsana kwa khalidweli. Musachedwe. Mverani nokha. Mwachitsanzo, zosiyana ndi "sissies" zingakhale "soseji", ndipo mwina "Martin". Zotsutsa "mathithi" wina amakhala ndi "puddle", ndipo wina - "nyanja". Ndipo ndikudabwa kwambiri kuti zidzakana "Amazon". Mwinamwake "nkhuku"?

Zinatuluka? Mkulu! Pa gawo loyera la malo pakati pa zipilala, nambala yawiri, malinga ndi kufunikira kwa khalidwe kwa inu nokha. Nambala imodzi iyenera kukhala yofunika kwambiri, kuyambira momwe mukuwonera, nambala ya nambala 12 - yosafunika kwenikweni pakali pano. Tsopano mutha kutumiza buku lodzipereka lodziwikiratu kwa mlendo wodabwitsa - msiyeni aphunzire. Ndipo iye anatembenukira kwa iyemwini.

Chotsatira
Mungathe kutenga machitidwe asanu okha a atsogoleri kuti awunike, koma mukhoza kupyola mndandanda wonsewo ndikuwonetseratu omwe ntchito yawo ikukhumudwitsa kwambiri. Lembani makhalidwe omwe asankhidwa pa pepala lawo losiyana ndi zomwe amatsutsana kuti mutenge mzere pakati pa awiriwa. Yankhani mosamala, moona mtima komanso bwino polemba mafunso otsatirawa:

Ndani (anati, anganene) kuti ndizofunika - kukhala monga momwe adanenera ndi khalidwe losankhidwa? Kumbukirani zonse zomwe mungakumbukire: Mayi, chibwenzi, Psychoanalyst, Carrie Bradshaw, papa, Magazini ofotokoza, mau odzuka pamutu - aliyense.

Kodi ndi zochitika zotani, zochitika, zatsimikiziranso kufunikira kwa makhalidwe awa m'moyo wanu? Njira yakuti "amayi ndi bwenzi amavomereza ukhondo wanga" sizigwirizana. Dalirani maganizo anu. Ndikofunika kuti izi ndizochitika za inu komanso kuti mupindule ndikuzisangalala nazo.

Kachiwiri yang'anani khalidwe ili. Kodi mukufuna kusiya izo kukhala zothandiza kwa inu nokha? Ngati inde, ndiye pa mndandanda womwe uli pakati pa zotsutsana, lembani mfundo yomwe mumadzimva nokha lero ndi tsopano, ndipo mutenge dzina lake. Mwachitsanzo: pa mzere pakati pa "mathithi" ndi "mathithi" pangakhale mfundo yomwe sikuti imangogwera, koma osati phokoso. Mwinamwake dzina lake ndi mtsinje? Kapena mtsinje? Kodi zingakhale mtsinje? Sankhani zomwe mungasankhe, kudalira maganizo awo, koma musalole kuti munthu amene akukumana naye ayambe kutsutsa.

Kuchokera mndandanda wa umunthu omwe makalata anu ali nawo ku khalidweli ndi ofunika kwambiri, sankhani imodzi. Sikoyenera kuti mukambirane ndi khalidwe loopsya komanso loopsya, sankhani omwe mungathe kutembenuka. Ndipo lemberani kalata. Zingakhale zochepa ngati chilembo, koma ziyenera kuphatikizapo mfundo zotsatirazi:
  1. Kuyamikira kwa chikhalidwe cha kutenga nawo mbali pazokwaniritsa kwanu ("zikomo, mnzako, chifukwa cha chidwi pa moyo wanga");
  2. Kulandira dziko lomwe liripo tsopano ("Ndili mtsinje, ndipo sindilimbana nawo");
  3. Kuika malo olimbikitsa ("ndikangomva mphamvu ndi chikhumbo cha kusintha, ndidzachita, ndipo ichi chidzakhala chikhumbo changa ndi kusankha kwanga").
Ntchito imeneyi iyenera kuchitika ndi makhalidwe onse omwe adakupatsani chisamaliro chapadera kapena kusakhutira ndi maonekedwe awo. Khalani okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi omwe adakhumudwitsa kwambiri monga kusayankhula, kunyoza ndipo ndikumvetsa chisoni komwe mukusankha kutsutsana.

Ndipo nanga bwanji?
Zochitika zomwe zimabisa kumbuyo kwa zidazo "monga chitsiru!" Zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kusagwirizana kwanu ndi mfundo zina, mndandanda wa zomwe zimaphatikizidwa pamutu pazovuta. Miyezo imeneyi imakhala yopanda ungwiro, koma sizitsutsa kwa inu, koma ndi kupitilizabe kupempha chiwerengero chovomerezeka cha chilengedwe (kuti wina ndi amayi, ndi wina - wotchuka kwambiri). Choncho, pochita zinthu zabwino, timataya tokha, timataya mphamvu ndi mwayi ndi chikondi chodzichitira tokha, kuvomereza tokha monga momwe tilili. Koma ndi nkhanza zazikulu, timadziika pakati pawiri (kuphatikizapo, nthawi zina zochititsa manyazi pambali ina), kukonza bedi la Procrustean. Inde, poyerekeza tokha ndi zabwino, tidzakhumudwa nthawi zonse. Koma kudzikuza nokha ndi bizinesi yopanda chiyembekezo, pali njira zowonjezera zowonjezera kumverera kumagwirizana. Pambuyo pomaliza ntchitoyi, inu, mwachitsanzo, mwatengapo mbali pang'ono kuchoka ku neurosis ndi zina-kupeza nokha. Pofuna kulimbikitsa bwino, bwererani ku mndandanda, yongomwenso kuzinthu zotsalira zomwe adalandira, yang'anani malo anu pakati pa zovuta zotsutsana. Sindikufuna kukana zongopeka - ndichifukwa chake mu kalata yomwe munayankhula kwa otsutsa anu, pali lonjezo la kusintha, koma nthawi ikadzafika iwo. Komabe, ndikutsindika kuti njira yakuti "kukhala, osati kuoneka" imachepetsa chiopsezo chokhumudwitsa, imapereka ufulu wofotokozera ndi chisangalalo kuchokera kwa iyo, ngakhale ngati ilibe mpaka ungwiro kupereka.