Kumva pa mlanduwu
Kuti mumvetse zomwe zikuchitika ndi munthu wina, muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungamvetsere molondola. Tengani nkhani yofanana ndi mnzanu. Mwachitsanzo, akufotokozera nkhani yowawa: munthu wam'madzi wosakanizidwa sanaitanidwe. Komabe, sizomwe zimawonekera kuti zimveke bwino kwa chibwenzi: amamveka, amamvetsetsa ndipo samatsutsidwa. Zidzakhala zosavuta kuti iye atsegule, kotero kuti asamawerenge malingaliro aliwonse, iye mwiniyo adzanena zonse. Mwachitsanzo, mnzanu akuti: "Ndipo pamene adaitana kachisanu, adayankhula nane ngati kuti sindinaitane munthu aliyense." Pankhaniyi, mungayankhe kuti: "Munamva kuti simunthu, ndipo simungatchule." Ndipo musalowe mu ulaliki wamwano. Njira ya psychotherapeutic imatchedwa kufotokozera. Mofanana ndi woyamba, amapatsa mnzake mwayi woti amvetse kuti amamumva. Zoonadi, kuŵerenga malingaliro ndi kumverera kwa bwenzi sikovuta kwambiri. Komabe, ndikulankhulana ndi iye kuti ndizomveka kuphunzitsa. Pamalo a bwenzi angakhale munthu wina - chibwenzi, mnzako kapena bwana. Onse a iwo adzanena za iwo okha zomwe angafune kubisala nthawi zina.
Pezani kusiyana khumi
Tikawonetsa kwa interlocarchi chifundo chachikulu ndikuyamba kumvetsera molondola, adzamasuka. Tsopano tingathe kupitirizabe kuwerenga ndi kuphunzira zizindikiro zosalankhula. Mfundoyi siyi sayansi yovuta kwambiri: zonse zomwe munthu amachita zimakhala zosavuta. Vuto ndiloti pangakhale chizindikiro chonse cha mawu osalankhula - kumvetsera nthawi yamalankhulidwe, chigamulo cha mawu, nkhope ya nkhope, manja komanso nthawi yomweyo musaiwale kumvetsera zomwe akunena ndikuyankhirabe. Kawirikawiri, kuphunzitsa luso limeneli kuli ngati kumvetsa sayansi yoyendetsa galimoto. Poyamba, ife tikuwona gudumu lokha, ndiye_wongolera ndi gawo la msewu, ndiye ife tikuwona kuwala kwa magalimoto ndi oyendayenda, zizindikiro za_ndi chozizwitsa! - magalimoto akuyenda kumbuyo! N'zosavuta kuganiza kuti munthu yemwe ali ndi ndemanga sizongopeka kuposa mwiniwake sangatchedwe dalaivala wabwino. Monga munthu amene angazindikire zizindikiro zingapo zopanda mawu, wina sangatchedwe katswiri wa kalasi. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti chizindikiro chomwe chatchulidwa m'nkhaniyi si chachidziwitso. Tengani chitsanzo chofala kwambiri - kudula tsitsi. Pa nthawi yoyamba, mwamuna amalankhula ndi mtsikana ndipo amalowetsa dzanja lake m'mutu mwake, akung'amba pamutu pake. Kodi izi zikutanthauzanji? Musapite kwa wolosera - amakonda mtsikana, amamupusitsa ndipo amatumiza chizindikiro chosagwirizana. Tsopano tiyeni tiyerekeze kuti munthu uyu amachita zinthu mofananamo poyankhula ndi bwana. The neophyte ikhoza kuganiza kuti msilikali wathu ndi wamwamuna kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi, poyesa kumunyengerera bwana. Ndipo izo zidzakhala zolakwika kwenikweni. Chizindikiro chimodzi ndi chimodzimodzi chingakhale ndi mauthenga osiyanasiyana. Pachikhalidwe chachiwiri, munthu amanjenjemera, amadzitonthoza yekha, akung'amba mutu, ndipo mopambanitsa "amanyengerera" bwana, ndiko kuti, mwachidule, amayesa kukondweretsa. Palibe chiwerewere.
Inde? Ayi!
Zizindikiro zosalankhula ndizosiyana kwambiri, chifukwa mbali zambiri amauza ena za kumverera komwe munthu amakumana nazo. Komabe, palinso mgwirizano kapena kusagwirizana kumatanthauza. Ndipo kawirikawiri zimachitika: munthu amadzinenera chinthu chimodzi, ndipo mothandizidwa ndi nkhope ndi manja akuwonetsa chinachake chosiyana. Khalidwe limeneli silikutanthauza kuti munthu akufuna kunyenga. N'kutheka kuti amakhulupirira ndi mtima wonse zomwe akunena, ndipo pakadali pano akudzinyenga yekha. Mwachitsanzo, ngati interlocutor akunena kuti: "Indetu, ine ndidzabwera ndithu" - ndipo pokhapokha atatembenukira mutu wake kumanja ndi kumanzere, komanso kumatsamira kumbuyo, mwina sangachite. Ngati munthu amene timayankhula naye ayamba kulankhula mofulumira kapena mwa njira ina amachulukitsa mtunda - amachoka kwa theka la sitepe, amachotsedwa - izi, mwinamwake zimatanthauza: iye mosagwirizana ndi mawu sagwirizana nafe. Ngakhale kuti nthawi zina, amasonyeza kuti akufuna kusintha nkhaniyo, mutu wa zokambiranazo ndi wosasangalatsa kwa iye. Ngati thupi la interlocutor likupita patsogolo, limagwira ntchito - limakondwera ndi zokambiranazo ndipo likhoza kuvomera.
Nazi pies
Nchifukwa chiyani anthu nthawi zambiri amachita molakwika? Chifukwa chiyani iwo ayenera? Chowonadi ndi chakuti mwa aliyense wa ife pali zosiyana, zomwe sizili nthawi zonse pakati pathu zomwe zimafuna kuwerenga anthu ngati buku lotseguka, ziyenera kuti ziganizire izi. Katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America, Eric Berne, analemba kuti mwana amakhala ndi moyo mwa munthu - lingaliro lathu la zomwe tinali tiri mwana. Mayi ndi chifaniziro, mtundu wa photobot wa makolo, ndipo wamkulu ndi wodekha komanso wololera mmoyo wathu. Mwachitsanzo, pamene tikulonjeza wina kuti adzabwere ku phwando, timayamba kuchokera kumalo a Mwana wamkati, amene amafuna kusangalala. Komabe, panthawi ina, ubongo wa boma umatengedwa m'manja mwa Makolo athu ndipo amaletsa kulikonse komwe angasankhidwe patsiku la mayeso. Kuphunzira munthu wothandizana naye, ndikofunika kumuwona Mwana wamkati, ndilo gawo lake lomwelo, wotsogoleredwa ndi maganizo, kudzimana komanso kukhala ndi moyo. Kuti mupirire ntchitoyo, mungayesere kulingalira momwe munthu uyu analiri mwana. Kapena mumufunse mafunso ena pa mutu uwu. Ndiyeno ganizirani momwe makolo ake ankamugwirizira, monga kumvetsera, kumvetsetsa kapena kukakamiza.
Yambani ndi nokha
Zirizonse zomwe zinali, munthu aliyense wokonda kuwerenga maganizo kapena maganizo ayenera kuyamba mwa kudziphunzira okha. Zindikirani zizindikiro zanu zopanda mawu, mumve zosiyana, muzisunga. Pokhapokha ataphunzira bwinobwino, adzatha kumvetsa zomwe zikuchitika ndi ena. Ndipo, ndithudi, mu nkhani iyi ndizosatheka kuchita opanda chikondi. Ngati sitimakonda zomwe titi tiphunzire, sikungakhale zotsatira. Kawirikawiri, misanthropes saloledwa kulowa m'dera lino la chidziwitso.