Oopsihotterapevtov pali lingaliro lakuti ife tiri ovuta kupempha chinachake. Chifukwa cha kusowa mphamvu ndi kusakhoza kulamulira momwe anthu akumvera pa pempho lathu, makamaka pempho la kukhululukidwa. Kukhudza zomwe munthu sangathe kusintha kusintha, kumatikhudza kwambiri: munthu mu boma kuti athetse mavuto, koma pazochita zake zonse amagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zosiyana. Kupanda mphamvu kungamveke, ndipo kumverera kotereku kumaphatikizapo ndichisoni. Anthu omwe amadzilola okha kumira, kumva ndi kuvomereza kuti sangathe kuwonetsa mkhalidwewo, amatsegula mwayi wokhudzidwa ndi zakuya komanso zochitika. Choncho, timadzimva bwino, ndipo timapeza mwayi wokhala ndi chikhulupiliro chochuluka ndi anthu omwe nasokruzhaet. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndi kofunika kwambiri kuti ndiphunzire kunena "kukhululukirana", koma panthawi yomweyi ndikofunika kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake zimakhala zovuta kuti tizinene izi.
Munthu aliyense amatha kuganiza mozama, koma osapotoza, malingaliro athu nthawi zonse amakhudzidwa ndi anthu omwe takula. Gulu la anthu onse, lachibadwa, limadziwika ndi kagulu ka kuganiza ndi chikhumbo chosintha udindo wa mwanayo. Ngati, pambuyo polakwitsa ena, munthu amachitira manyazi, ndiye amapangidwa pamaziko a kuyembekezera kukhumudwitsa kwa anthu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, timamva bwino, tikuyembekezera mantha ochokera kunja: tidzatsutsidwa, kuperekedwa, kunyozedwa. Mu mtundu wina wa anthu (gulu laumwini), aliyense amadziŵa udindo wake ndipo amachititsa cholakwa chosavomerezeka, amawona kuti ali ndi mlandu. Izi zimabadwa mwa munthuyo mwiniyo ndipo sizidalira momwe ena amachitira. Kupepesa ndi mbali ya chikhalidwe cha kulankhulana, chomwe m'dziko lathu lino, tsopano, sichikupezeka.
Kuchita cholakwa, munthu amayesera kudzilungamitsa yekha. Amayesetsa kunyalanyaza zomwe zikuchitika: "zoipa" ndizosamvetseka, ndipo "zabwino" musamadzichite manyazi. Nthawi zina chifukwa cha zikhulupiliro zoterezi, kugonana kumaphwanyidwa. Kodi ndingawapulumutse? Inde, mungathe. Ngati muzindikira chomwe chiri cholakwa. Zindikirani khalidwe lanu loipa pamaso pa wina ndi kupepesa. Zonsezi ndi ntchito yabwino, yokhudzana ndi kuyankhulana ndi malingaliro anu.
Zamantha
Sitikuganiza za izi, koma, nthawi zambiri, sitimapempha chikhululukiro chifukwa cha mantha owoneka ofooka. Mu mgwirizano uliwonse kulibe kukankha mphamvu ndi mphamvu. Ndipo kupepesa kumatanthawuza kutaya ulamuliro. Ngati ndikunena kuti "Pepani," ndikulakwitsa. Ndipo anthu ali ovomerezeka ndipo samalephera. Poopa kutayika kufunika kwawo, mantha amaopa: chilichonse, tsopano iwo adzakhala pansi pakhosi panga! Pankhaniyi, maganizo athu amagwira ntchito ngati izi: anachita zolakwika - ndiye ndine munthu woipa. Timayambanso chifukwa choopa kuwonekera mosavuta. Izi sizodziwika ndi mantha a kuphulika. "Ndipempha chikhululukiro, koma ine ndikukhululukidwa!" - ndi momwe timaganizira, ndipo chifukwa cha izi, timakonda kupewa kufotokoza ubalewu. Muzochitika zoterozo, kukangana kungakhale bwino pamapeto, poyerekeza ndi zomwe munthu angakhale yekha.
Tiyeni tiwone wamaliseche
Kulephera kupempha chikhululuko kumapangidwa mothandizidwa ndi mfundo yotsatira. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, pamene ife tichita kanthu, mwachitsanzo, popanda kukhululukidwa, pali chiwopsezo chachikulu kuti izi ndi momwe tidzachitire mtsogolomu. Tili ndi malingaliro okhudza ife eni monga munthu akuchita monga choncho. Psyche wathu imachirikiza chithunzi chotero ndipo imapeza zifotokozo, zomwe zimalimbikitsa. Choncho, mzere wovuta umapezeka. Chikhumbo chotsatizana, chosiyana ndi nzeru, chimatikakamiza kuti tiwerenge buku lopweteka mpaka mapeto, osaphunzira ku yunivesite, kwa zaka kuti tigwire ntchito osati kuntchito, ndipo potsiriza, osapepesa. Kugonjera kotsimikizika koteroko kumalimbikitsidwa ndi malingaliro, malingaliro, ndi nthawi. Ndilo vuto limene nthawi zina silingapambane. Zimakhala zovuta kuchita izi pamene ena amalimbikitsanso ndikutsatira khalidwe lawo ndi chitsanzo chawo. Timatsogoleredwa ndi chiphunzitso china. Izi zikutanthauza kuti m'dera limene silingaloledwe kupempha chikhululukiro, anthu ochepa m'maganizo awo amayamba kusonyeza khalidwe losiyana. Chifukwa chosavuta chifukwa chosasunthika. Ndikovuta kukana chibadwa ichi, chifukwa ndi njira imodzi yopulumutsira. Ngati tikuwonetsa, timatsanzira kuchokera pa kubadwa komwe - poyamba mpaka mumayi, ndiye ku dziko lozungulira.
Koma, zowonadi, sitinangokhala ndi zokopa za anthu palokha, koma timatha kuthandizanso. Choncho musadikire kupepesa kuchokera kwa wina, bwino kuti mudziphunzitse nokha.