Amatha kukhala amalingaliro, achikondi, achibadwa, okonda komanso okoma mtima mu nthawi ya maluwa, koma amangofunika kukwaniritsa theka lawo ngati momwe akumvera.
Ndipotu, izi siziri choncho. Kwa amuna ndi akazi, chikondi chimadziwonetsera mosiyana. Chikondi cha mkazi chimapangidwira dziko la anthu, ndipo chimakhudza zochepa za dziko lapansi. Ndipo chikondi cha munthu chimayesedwa kudzera mu chikondi cha dziko la zinthu, osati dziko la anthu. Pali, ndithudi, omwenso amaumitsa bachelors omwe amakhala ndi ntchito yokha, ndipo kufunikira kwa chikondi kumachitika mwa kukondana kosakhalitsa. Koma, kawirikawiri, onse oimira amuna kapena akazi amatha kunena motsimikizika kuti amuna amasankha kukwezedwa pamsinkhu wa ntchito, osati kugwira ntchito pa ubale m'banja.
Zakhala choncho kuyambira kale. Mwamuna anapita kumtunda kukasaka nyama zakutchire, mwina sangabwerere ndikusaka. Ndipo nyumba yake inali kuyembekezera mkazi ndi ana, amene anakongoletsa mapanga akale ali ndi masamba, maluwa ndi zipangizo zina. Akazi akale ankagwiranso ntchito, koma ntchito yawo sinali yoopsa komanso yodalirika. Anasonkhanitsa zipatso ndi mizu, patangopita nthawi pang'ono adasamalira zomera pafupi ndi nyumbayo. Ndipo adathandizira motowo pamoto, chifukwa cha kukongola kwake komwe kunali kofunikira kuti ugule ansembe.
Tsopano, ndithudi, zambiri zasintha. Komabe, mfundo zazikulu zolekanitsa maudindo pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi zimasiyana pang'onopang'ono komanso zosafunika. Amuna adakali ndi gawo lachisokonezo cha mtima. Izi ndi zofunika kuti tipulumuke mudziko lopikisana, kuti tifike kukwera muntchito muzochitika zosakhala zachikondi. Mitengo yeniyeni tsopano yasankhidwa ndi nkhalango zaofesi, ndipo amuna akugwira nawo ntchito yaikulu mu dziko lino. Luso lokhala wodziletsa, lokhazikika muvuto, kutsutsana kapena kutsutsana kutsutsana ndi mpikisano kwa amuna ndikofunika kwambiri monga momwe mkazi angathe kukhalira ndi maganizo m'banja ndi kuntchito.
Ngati nthawi zina mumaganiza za chifukwa chake amuna amasankha ntchito, osati chikondi, muyenera kuphunzira kutenga udindo pa chiyanjano. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuyesedwa, pempherani nthawi zonse ndikukumbutseni. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati mkangano kapena mkangano, mkaziyo ali ndi njira zambiri zothetsera vutoli. Mwadzidzidzi, mothandizidwa ndi anzanu kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo, mukhoza kusokoneza mkhalidwe uno, ndi kuti mwamuna abwere kale ali ndi zolinga zokonzeka bwino.
Kodi mkazi ayenera kuchita chiyani chomwe akuganiza kuti ali kumbuyo kwa munthu wogwira ntchito? Pali njira zingapo zothetsera vutoli.
Choyamba muyenera kuphunzira kuti muwone chikondi cha munthu, podziwa momwe akuwonetsera. Ngati mkazi akuuza mwamuna wake kuti sakonda, kuti alibe chikondi chokwanira, mukudziwa chomwe chinthu choyamba chimene munthu aliyense amaganiza? Amayamba kuyang'ana poyang'ana, kufunafuna maso kuti akonze. Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, kwa munthu momwe chikondi chimayesedwa kawirikawiri posamalira chitonthozo chakuthupi cha mkazi wake. Nthawi zina, mwamuna akhoza kuganiza kuti mayi amafunika kugonana kwambiri. Ndipo sadzalingalira konse kuti ayenera kulankhula zambiri za momwe akumvera, kumayamikira kapena kukambirana za amodzi omwe amadziwika nawo.
Ngati mumakonda kukambirana zakumverera, kambiranani nawo ndi anzanu. Iyi ndi njira ina yothetsera mavuto omwe amapezeka mwa mkazi amene mwamuna wake amasankha ntchito osati chikondi.
Ndipo, potsirizira, ngati mukufunabe mawu ake oyamikira ndi kuthandizira monga mpweya, musazengereze kulankhula momveka bwino za izo. Amuna ambiri sali ovuta kuphunzira momwe angayamikirire, ngati mkazi akufunsa. Lankhulani zokha za izi zomwe iwo akufunikira mwachindunji, kupewa zotsutsana ndi zotsutsa za kusowa kwa chinthu china chokhudzana ndi kufunika kwa zomwe munthu saganiza.
Zonsezi zokhudzana ndi mavuto ndizomwe zilipo, ndipo zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kwa amuna ambiri. Komabe pali zochitika zomwe mkazi ayenera kufufuza mayankho apadera pafunso la chifukwa chake mwamuna amasankha ntchito, osati chikondi. Izi ndizo zowopsya kwambiri. Ngati mwamuna amakhala kuntchito, ngati amathera nthawi yothetsera mavuto kwa antchito onse a kampaniyo, mwina amathamanga kukagwira ntchito kuchokera ku mavuto ena m'banja.
Mgonero wamakono wa moyo wa munthu wogwira ntchitoyo ndi wodzaza kwambiri moti mamembala ambiri a kugonana amphamvu amakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse. Chifukwa cha izi, akhoza kukhala ndi mikangano m'banja. Sizovuta kubwerera kwanu kumwetulira pamene mudakangana ndi bwana kapena kukangana ndi mnzanu. Kubweretsa kunyumba chisokonezo, munthu amakangana kumeneko, ndipo kenako, pofuna kuti asamve chitonzo chochokera kwa mkazi wake kapena ana kunyumba, amayesa kubwera mumdima, pamene aliyense ali m'tulo. Ndipo m'mawa usanafike, ali yense akugona. Muzochitika izi, ndithudi, ndibwino kulira tcheru. Tiyenera kupeza nthawi yolankhulana ndi wokondedwa wanu zomwe zikuchitika mmoyo mwake mumtendere, popanda maso ndi makutu. Ndikofunikira kufufuza kachiwiri mfundo zomwe zakhudzana nazo zomwe zinayambitsa kutuluka kwa maubwenzi, kukhazikitsa mgwirizano wotayika. Kawirikawiri, izi nthawi zonse zimakhala zosamalitsa mkazi, ndipo zimangodalira ngati mwamuna amene amakonda ntchito yabwino angapeze mgwirizano m'moyo wake.