Pa siteji yoyamba
Choyamba, ziyenera kukumbukiridwa kuti mwa amuna kufunika koyankhula nthawi zambiri kumakhala kochepa kuposa akazi. Kuchokera pa izi zikutsatila kuti kukambirana pakati pa mkazi ndi mwamuna sikuyenera kukhala kopanda kanthu komanso motalika kwambiri. Apo ayi, munthu wotopa ndi zokambirana zopanda pake, amangoleka kumvetsera. Mukakhala kuti mumafuna kulankhula ndi munthu za zinthu zina zosafunika komanso zosafunika, muyenera kumuchenjeza za izo. Kenaka amachitapo kanthu pa zokambiranazo moyenera komanso osayesayesa kuyesa tanthauzo lozama m'mawu omwe alibe. Mwamunayo amadziwa kuti mnzakeyo akulankhula ngati osalankhula komanso osangalatsa.
Kukambirana pakati pa mkazi ndi mwamuna sikungakhale ngati kulankhula ndi chibwenzi. Akazi ali ndi mphamvu yapadera yomvetsetsana. Amuna mu plenenemnogo awa amasiyana. Amuna amadziwa dzikoli osati amayi, kotero kukambirana ndi woimira abambo sikungakhale kosavuta momwe zikuwonekera. Pofuna kuyankhulana bwino ndi mwamuna, muyenera kudziwa malamulo omwe angapereke chidziwitso m'maonekedwe omwe amamvetsetsa.
Ngati kukambirana pakati pa mkazi ndi mwamuna kuli kovuta, ayenera kuyesa kuti asayiwale cholinga cha zokambiranazi. Kulankhulana wina ndi mzake, amai sangakwanitse kusokoneza chidwi chawo pa nkhani zokhudzana ndi mutu, kenako abwerere ku mutu waukulu wa zokambirana. Amuna, pokhala ndi makhalidwe awo, maganizowa ndi ovuta. Amayesetsabe kulankhula nthawi zonse mitu yonse, kulimbitsa mndandanda womveka bwino ndikuphatikizira dongosolo lonse lachinsinsili kuti likhale lokha. Mwinamwake, amayi ambiri amavomereza kuti si zophweka.
Kodi mungayankhule bwanji ndi munthu kuti amvetse bwino zomwe mukufuna kumuuza?
Tiyenera kupanga malingaliro athu kumapeto. Mphindi ziyenera kukhala zomveka bwino, zotsutsana komanso zosokoneza zosafunikira. Pomwepo adzafika kumalo olowera ndipo adzamvetsedwa. Mwamuna ayenera kumvetsetsa zomwe mwanena panthawi yomweyo, ndipo musataye mtima ndikuganiza za zomwe zilipobe.
Monga lamulo, ndi amayi okha omwe amatha kufotokoza zomwe zilipo panthawi yolankhulana. Umuzhchin ndi lingaliro lapadera la kulingalira. Choyamba iwo amalandira chidziwitso, ndiye amayesetsa kukonzekera, kumanga mndandanda womveka bwino ndikungoganizira. Choncho, kulankhula mopanda pake ndi mawu osalankhula amakhumudwitsa iwo ndipo zimangosokoneza. Kodi ndi zolondola bwanji kuti muyankhule ndi munthu, kuti musamamukwiyitse panthawi yomweyo? "Ndizosavuta," ndikukuuzani. Ndikofunika kufotokozera mfundozo kwa munthu mwamtundu umene amamvetsa. Ndikofunika kuti mawu a mkazi apangidwe bwino, oyenera komanso omveka bwino. Musadumphire kuchokera ku mutuwu pa nkhani yokhala ndi mwamuna. Lankhulani malingaliro anu momveka bwino ndi mosasinthasintha, ziribe kanthu momwe zikuwonekera zovuta poyamba.
Pofuna kuti muyankhule ndi amuna, muyenera kukhala ndi lingaliro lomveka osati za njira zokambiranazi, komanso za nkhani. Choyamba, tiyeni tiyese ndi inu kuti tiyankhe funsoli: "Kodi anthu anganene chiyani?" Chabwino, mwinamwake, iwo samakambirana za zovala zawo zatsopano, kumasulidwa kwatsopano kwa magazini okongola ndipo samakambirana miseche ndi makompyuta. Kawirikawiri anthu amaganiza za zokambirana za amayi ngati zokambirana zachabechabe. Ndiye iwo amati chiani ndiye? Tawonani ... Amuna amakonda kulankhula za masewera (nthawi zambiri mpira), ndale, magalimoto, makompyuta, atsikana ndi china chirichonse mofanana. Mwachidule, ponena za chinthu chothandiza, chotsikira pansi, chokondweretsa, kukweza msinkhu wa adrenaline m'magazi ndi kuyambitsa nkhondo.
Koma nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti mkazi angathe, mwachitsanzo, kuti asamvetse bwino mpira kapena magalimoto. "Ndiye ndiyenera kuchita chiyani?" Mukufunsa. Tiyeni tiganizire za nkhani zomwe zingathe kulankhulana amuna omwe amai angathe kukhala nawo. Onetsetsani kuti amuna ambiri adzakambirana mokondwera ndi kupambana kwawo. Chifukwa chake, khalani ndi chidwi ndi ntchito ya munthu ndi kupambana kwake (chabwino, ngati, ndithudi, iwo alipo). Chabwino, ngati sichoncho, phunzirani kumvetsera mwatcheru kapena ngati mukufuna kudziyesa kuti mumamvetsera mwatcheru. Amuna amakonda kwambiri pamene akazi akuyamikira zokamba zawo. Koma musapitirirepo, mwinamwake zikhoza kukhala zosavuta kapena zonyansa.
Kusankha mitu yotsatira kuti muyankhule ndi mwamuna, muyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe mungalankhule naye. Mwachitsanzo, sikuli koyenera kulankhula ndi woimira chilakolako chogonana kuti adzidzudzule kapena kumuuza za nthawi zina zomwe iwe "sunali kuthamanga." Makamaka pa zolephera zawo ndi bwino kukhala chete. Kumbukirani kamodzi kokha mukakambirana ndi mwamuna simungathe kukambiranso mavuto a anthu ena ndi zolephera. Iwo ndi ovuta kwambiri pa zokambirana zotero ndipo angathe kusintha kwambiri maganizo awo okhudza mkazi, akudandaula ndi miseche mwa iye.
Awa ndiwo mfundo zazikulu zomwe muyenera kuzidziwa kuti mukhazikitse kukambirana ndi chikhalidwe cholimba.
Potsiriza, ndikutha kukupatsani malangizo ena:
- Pankhaniyi, ngati munthu adayamba kukusokonezani mwadzidzidzi, ndiye kuti inunso mungamuphe, mutayambitsa kukambirana pa mutu womwe mwadzidzidzi ukuchokera mumutu mwanu. Amuna amadziwa zachikazi, zomwe zimaphatikizapo kulemekeza a interlocutor chifukwa cha manyazi, kusatsimikizika ndi kulakalaka. Choncho, nthawi zina ndibwino kuwasokoneza ndikukambirana momasuka.
- Muyenera kuyamba kukambirana ndi munthu, osayesa kukonzekera mutu wina. Pokambirana muyenera kukhala omveka bwino. Ngati mutayamba kufotokozera zomwe zimayambitsa zokambirana osati nthawi yomweyo, ndiye kuti simungathe kukondwera naye.
- Dumayana mutu wakuti: "Choti uyankhule ndi mnyamata", muyenera kusankha nkhani zomwe muli osakwanira pang'ono. Mwamuna ayenera kuona mwa inu umunthu wodalirika, wamphamvu, wokhoza kukhala ndi malingaliro ake omwe.
- Pokambirana ndi mwamuna, muyenera kugwiritsa ntchito mawu omveka bwino, ovomerezeka ndi mfundo ndi mfundo.