Zotsatira zake, ziphuphuzi zimakhala ndi malingaliro angapo kuti amvetse chomwe chiri - vuto mu maubwenzi, ndi momwe angagwirire nazo.
Mpaka tsopano, akatswiri ena amakhulupirira chiphunzitso cha "kukankha". Zikudziwika kuti mayesero aakulu mu moyo wa mwamuna ndi mkazi, monga imfa ya achibale, matenda, kumangidwa kapena kuthamangitsidwa, akhoza kumira ngakhale mgwirizano wamphamvu kwambiri. Komabe, patatha zaka zambiri chiyambi cha zochitika zovuta ngati maziko a kusagwirizanako, kufotokozera kofunikira kunabuka: sikuti mayesero onse angasokoneze. Okonda ena amangobwera pokha panthawi ya chisokonezo ndi mavuto.
Kotero patapita nthawi, mu maganizo ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, panali ziphunzitso za "kupititsa patsogolo njira." Tsopano asayansi apanga kutsimikizira kuti ubale uliwonse umakhala wosavuta kumvetsa chikondi, ndiyeno kubwereranso njira kuchokera ku chikondi kupita kuumphawi ndi kukhumudwa. Chiphunzitso ichi chinakhalanso cholakwika. Zimachitika pakukula kwa maubwenzi, monga zanenedwa, zimadutsa ndi mabanja ena. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, motere, palibe mzere wofunikira kuti ubale ukhale wabwino kwa onse okondedwa.
Zolingalira za chitukuko cha chitukuko cha kalendala zikupezeka mu psychology ya banja. Izi zikutanthauza kuti pali zoopsa zina, zomwe zingakhale zovuta kwambiri m'moyo wa banja, momwe maanja onse angakhale ndi mikangano kapena kusamvetsetsana. Zinganenedwe kuti ofufuza onse amakono a m'banja ndi maubwenzi akugwiritsabe ntchito mkati mwa kalendala malingaliro a mavuto. Pokhapokha vuto la chitukuko cha maubwenzi pakati pa abambo ndi amai limaganiziridwa mozama - molingana ndi mfundo zonse. Inde, mabanja ena samalimbana ndi mayesero aakulu. Inde, maanja ena amatha kupwetekedwa kwa malingaliro ndi kusinthika kwa maubwenzi. Ndipo inde, ziphuphu ndi zomwe zingathe kuphulika sizidziwika bwino ndi asayansi. Koma zonsezi siziyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito mosaganiziridwa kwa awiri okha.
Zidzakhala zothandiza kwambiri kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto, ndi zomwe zimachepetsa chiopsezo cha chitukuko cholakwika cha maubwenzi. Tilembera zifukwa zochepa zomwe zingathetseretu kugonana.
Chuma choyamba ndi chofala kwambiri cha otaika m'chikondi ndi kudzikonda. M'nthaŵi yathu ino, kudzikonda kumapangidwira, kumalimbikitsidwa ndi mikango yowonongeka komanso yapamwamba "yadziko." Mu moyo weniweni, kudzikonda kumalepheretsa kumanga ubale. "Muuzeni zonse zomwe mumaganiza, musamulole kuti azidziyesa, adziwe momwe angadzipezere ulemu, momwe angam'pangire munthu kuchita izi kapena ayi," - Malangizo amenewa ndi olemera m'magazini iliyonse yosangalatsa. Koma mgwirizanowu wa ma egoist awiri ndiwo mawonekedwe osakhazikika kwambiri. Ngati mukufuna kutenga, osapereka kanthu, ndiye kuti musamayembekezere kugwirizana. Kuti ukhale ndi maubwenzi akuluakulu ndikofunika kupereka nthawi yokondedwa wanu, kugawana naye, kuthandizira kuthetsa mavuto ake.
Chinthu chachiŵiri chomwe chikufala kwambiri, chomwe chimachepetsa chiyanjano pakati pa awiri, ndiko kukangana kwa ndalama. Choipa kwambiri kuti chitukuko chikhale chonchi ndi kupezeka kwa ngongole, ndalama kapena ngongole zambiri kwa anzanu. Anthu amatenga ndalama kuti akwaniritse moyo wawo wa tsiku ndi tsiku, kusintha moyo wawo wa mabanja awo, ndipo samapatsa chitonthozo chochuluka, osati kukhala ndi maubwenzi m'mabanja. Vuto la zachuma padziko lonse limangowonjezera zotsatira zake zoipa, koma ngati ndinu wokondedwa, ganizirani kasanu musanamuuze udindo wa ngongole. Inde, ndikumukankhira ku mfundo yakuti adakwera kumalo a ngongole kuti adzifunse nokha, osapindulitsa.
Chotsatira chachitatu chofunikira kwambiri cha zovuta pokhudzana ndi - kuthandizana kwa makolo a mmodzi mwa anthu omwe ali nawo. Zimakhala zovuta kwa iwo amene amadalira makolo awo azachuma kapena kukakamizidwa kukhala nawo. Mu chikhalidwe cha Chirasha, okalamba, makolo mpaka panthawi yopuma pantchito ya ana awo amayesa kuwathandiza ndi uphungu kapena zakuthupi. Ndipo nthawi zambiri kuyang'anira kwawo kumakhala kovuta kwambiri, ndipo njira yoipa kwambiri imakhudza ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Chifukwa chachinai cha mavuto pakati pa kugonana ndikumangokhalira kugwedezeka ndi kupanikizika. Mzinda wamakono wamakono umagwira ntchito kwambiri moti nthaŵi zina amabwera kunyumba kokha kuti agone maola angapo. Sangathe kuona mkazi wake kapena ana ake kwa milungu ingapo kapena miyezi. Zoonadi, muzochitika izi, osati kulankhulana moona mtima kapena pachiyambi. Pakati pa okonda pali kusiyana, komwe, ngati sikukambidwa, kungachititse kuti pakhale kusokonezeka kwa anthu awiriwa. Mwachidziwikire, ndikutopa kutopa komanso kukhumudwa, kuphatikizapo zochitika zosachitika, zomwe zingawatsogolere mmodzi kapena onse okwatirana kudwala kapena kutsutsa. Ndipo izi ndi zovuta kwa aliyense.
Kotero, mwachidziwikire, palibe zidziwitso zonse zomwe zimayambitsa zovuta mu ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Nthawi iliyonse izi zingakhale zozizwitsa zomwe zimapangitsa vuto lirilonse mu ubale wapadera ndipo limafuna kufufuza kosiyana.