Poyesera kuona ngati mkazi ali wachigololo, amuna ena amafufuza maonekedwe ake, ena amafunitsitsa ntchito, koma ambiri amayesa kufufuza zaka. Pali lingaliro lakuti kugonana kumadzuka pazimayi onse pa nthawi yomweyo: pa zaka 28-30, zimakhala pamtunda uwu mpaka zaka 45, kenako zimachepa. Koma kodi zilidi choncho? Nchiyani chimaletsa mkazi kuti asakhale "mabulosi" mu zaka 25 kapena 55? Ndipo kawirikawiri, zomwe amai amagonana zimadalira: kaya ndi zaka kapena zina?
KUYENERA KUYAMBA
Inde, amayi ambiri amayamba kugonana pokhapokha patatha zaka 30. Malingana ndi asayansi a ku America, chiwerengero cha amayi omwe sanayambepopo zaka 30, ndi katatu kuposa 25. kwambiri ndi chidwi. Izi, motero, ndi chidziwitso. Komabe, mu lamulo lirilonse, monga momwe likudziwira, pali zosiyana zambiri.
Pali mtundu wotchedwa "akazi oyambirira msinkhu". Chidwi mu chiyanjano pakati pa amuna ndi akazi chimawaukitsa oyambirira - ngakhale kusanayambike kwa zaka zosintha. Ali ndi zaka 10-12 ali ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa thupi lawo ndipo amachita chiwerewere ngakhale asanakonze msambo. Pofika nthawi zambiri, oimira ambiri a gululi amakhala ndi chidziwitso chogonana. Zabwino kapena zoipa ndi funso losavuta. Koma kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti "achinyamata ndi oyambirira" amafika pamasewera ngakhale asanakwanitse zaka 20. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, nthawi yomweyi nthawi zambiri imakhala yosauka pogonana. Ndipo akazi awa "sawotcha" kwa nthawi yaitali, amakhalabe okonda miyoyo yawo yonse. Malinga ndi asayansi a ku Germany, pali amayi ambiri-vampas: kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti pafupifupi mmodzi mwa atsikana atatu aliwonse a zaka zapakati pa 17 ndi 19 sangathe kuwona zokhazokha, komabe ngakhale "kutsirizitsa" kangapo pamphindi kapena kupuma kwa mphindi 1-2! Malinga ndi zomwe asayansi amanena, m'tsogolomu anthu oterewa adzakhala opitilira, monga momwe akazi amachitira zokhudzana ndi kugonana akuyenera "kuyang'ana aang'ono": atsikana ayamba kugonana kale, adzakhala okhudzana kwambiri ndi kugonana.
Palinso gulu lina la amayi omwe angathe kukhala ndi chikhalidwe chotchedwa "pakati-kucha". Pa 12 iwo akadali ana, koma kwa zaka 16-17 amayamba kukula, ndipo mu 20 mwamsanga amadziwa "sayansi ya chilakolako chachikulu". Ambiri a iwo zaka ziwiri zoyambirira za maubwenzi apamtima popanda khama kwambiri akhoza kukwaniritsa zolaula. Superstrastnymi akaziwa, ndithudi, sangathe kutchulidwa, komanso osagonana - komanso. Iwo akhoza kutenga nthawi yambiri ndikusiya kuchita chinachake "choletsedwa" m'chipinda chogona, mwachitsanzo, pogwiritsa ntchito zidole za kugonana. Ngakhale, sizingatheke kuti akakumane ndi mwamuna wake mu apuloni "opanda kanthu" kapena kuika pansi pa nthunzi nthawi iliyonse, koma kugonana kwawo komweko kungathe kufika pamapeto kuposa onse omwe adziwa zaka 35 mpaka 40.
Akatswiri amatsutsanso nthano ina - kuti mkazi wazaka 50 amangofuna kwambiri mabedi ndi zidzukulu. Monga, atatha kusamba, umoyo wa amayi umachepa ndipo moyo wa kugonana umatha. Komabe, ogonana ndi amuna amadziwa zitsanzo zingapo, pamene amayi a zaka 55 mpaka 60 amatha kugonana nthawi ziwiri pa sabata ndipo amatha kukhala ndi zovuta zambiri. Ndipotu, amayi ambiri amatha kumasuka nthawi imeneyi (ana akukula, simukudandaula za mimba zosafuna, ndi zina zotero). Ndicho chifukwa chake simusowa kudziyika nokha mtanda pamene mukulowa m'zaka zapuma pantchito: mtheradi mibadwo yonse imamvera chikondi!
HORMONAL MALAMULO
Zimadalira kugonana kwa mkazi ndi zina zambiri, mwachitsanzo, kuchuluka kwa mahomoni amtundu wa testosterone m'thupi. Mwa njirayi, atsikana okwana 30 atagonana amatsindikitsidwa ndi kuchuluka kwa testosterone: panthawiyi, chiwerengero cha mahomoni a chiwerewere amayamba pang'onopang'ono koma amachepetsa, koma kuchuluka kwa testosterone kumakhala kofanana.
Azimayi, omwe ali ndi testosterone, ali okondana omwe amakondana kugonana. Zoona, testosterone yambiri nthawi zina imabweretsa zotsatira zoipa, monga "tsitsi" la manja ndi mapazi, koma tsopano pali njira zambiri zowopsya (kudzipangitsa kuti tsitsi lanu likhale lolimba). Koma pogwiritsa ntchito malo otetezeka kwambiri, tikukulangizani kuti mudikire - inde, si anthu onse omwe amavala tsitsi "pansi pa zero" m'dera la pubic. Ambiri amatembenuza "tsitsi" poyambirira (monga lamulo, testosterone yochuluka kwambiri, makamaka ngati tsitsi la "tsitsi" liri "lakuda" kuposa mitu. Ndicho chifukwa chake, musanayambe kupita ku salon yamakono, musaiwale kufunsa wokondedwa wanu zomwe amakonda.
Komabe, mahomoni ena akhoza kuchita ntchito yawo yogonana. Aliyense amadziwa kuti nthawi zosiyana za kusamba m'mimba mwa mkazi, amodzi kapena mahomoni ena amapangidwa. Choncho kusintha kwa umoyo wa amayi, moyo wa kugonana. Choncho, pafupi pakati pa kayendedwe kake, ngakhale oimira omwe ali otetezeka kwambiri payekha ali okonzeka kuthamangira kwa wokondedwa poyamba. Mwachidziwikire, kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti amayi omwe ali "kumanzere" amalumikizana chimodzimodzi pa nthawi ya ovulation (pa tsiku la 12-14 pa chiyambi cha kusamba), ndiko kuti, pamene thupi la mkazi likonzekera kutenga pakati.
Zikuwoneka kuti chibadwa cha kubereka chikhoza kuchita izi. Chikoka chogonana chimakhalabe "chopweteketsa" musanayambe komanso pambuyo pa kusamba. Mbali ina, izi zimatsimikiziridwa ndi zoyesayesa zomwe zimachitika: Azimayi amafunitsitsa kuyang'ana mafilimu osakanikirana ndi kuwerenga "kutentha" mabuku asanakhale ndi masiku ovuta. Koma sabata yoyamba pambuyo pa kuvuta kwa amayi ambiri, chidwi chokopa, monga lamulo, chimachoka kwathunthu.
Kukwera ndi kugwera kwa chikoka cha kugonana kumatha kupezeka pa nthawi ya mimba. Ngati m'miyezi itatu yoyambirira, akazi ochepa omwe akukumana nawo amakumbukira za "izo", ndiye pakati pa amayi oyembekezera ali wokonzeka kuchita zogonana (pokhapokha ngati palibe zotsutsana). Pambuyo pobeleka, chiwerewere china chogonana chimabwera. Koma osati m'miyezi yoyamba (mkazi ali wotopa kwambiri, akusamalira mwana), koma miyezi isanu kapena isanu ndi umodzi. Panthawiyi, zizindikiro zokhudzana ndi kugonana zimadzutsidwa ngakhale ndi amayi omwe sagwiritsidwe ntchito mogonana, ndipo amayamba kuona zolaula.
BUKHU LA BUSINESS LIMAYAMBA ...
... Ndipo amapambana! Zimakhala kuti akazi ogwira ntchito amatha kukhala ndi moyo wogonana kwambiri kuposa omwe amakhala nthawi zonse kunyumba. Kuwonjezera apo, amalandira kuchokera ku zosangalatsa zake zenizeni. Mwachidziwikire, ntchitoyi imangowathandiza amayi mu mau, omwe amawonetsedwa mu ntchito yogonana. Ndipo mwina kugonana kumathandiza amayi kuthetsa nkhawa pambuyo pa ntchito ya tsiku. Komanso, kugonana kofooka m'nthawi yathu ino ndi ntchito yocheperapo, ndipo nthawi zina ngakhale kuposa mphamvuyo. Asayansi apeza kuti kuchuluka kwa kukhutira kugonana kumakhudzana ndi ngati mkazi amakonda ntchito kapena ayi. Amayi omwe amapita kuntchito tsiku ndi tsiku, monga pa holide, amakhala okonzeka kupuma m'chipinda chogona ndi mnzawo madzulo kuposa omwe akuponderezedwa ndi kuganiza kuti akuchita malonda osakondedwa.
Masewera amachititsanso chidwi kuti tigwirizane ndi kugonana. Komabe, izi zimangotanthawuzira kuchitapo kanthu moyenera, kunena, kuthamanga kwa madzi kapena kupanga kamodzi pa sabata. Kuphunzitsa mwakuya (makamaka ngati mayiyo "akudya" mofulumira kwambiri), m'malo mwake, akhoza kufooketsa chilakolako cha thupi. Musanalowe kugonana, ngati thupi liri lotopa, kuti iye akufuna kokha-kupuma kwathunthu!
LASKY NDI GENTLE WA HUSBAND
Amuna, monga mukudziwa, ndi anthu achifundo ndi omvetsa chisoni, ndi bungwe la maganizo lachinsinsi. Zogonana zawo zimadalira pa ubale ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati ali wamwano, wosayang'anitsitsa, wokwiya, ngakhale mkazi wokonda kwambiri amangozizira pang'onopang'ono. Ngati mwamuna nthawi zonse amabwera ku chiwerewere, nthawi zonse amakhala ndi chikhalidwe chimodzimodzi. Amapsompsona masekondi awiri, amatsitsa bere pamasekondi awiri, kenaka amayamba pomwepo, mkaziyo amayamba kugonana. Kudzikonda, kupusa ndi kunyalanyaza kwa mnzanuyo ndizo zifukwa zazikulu zomwe "zimawongolera" amayi pachibwenzi. Kafukufuku waposachedwapa wa amayi 300, opangidwa ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo a ku America, adasonyeza kuti aliyense wa iwo amakhala ndi chikhalidwe cha m'maganizo mwa banja komanso kuti chikhulupiliro pakati pa abwenzi ndi chofunikira choyamba. Izi zimatsimikiziridwa ndi ziwerengero: theka lalikulu la amai omwe amaona kuti moyo wawo wa banja ndi wokondwa, nthawi zonse amawoneka kuti ndi osangalatsa. Ngakhale pakati pa osakhutira ndi khalidwe la wokondedwa wogonana, padali pang'ono kuposa 20%.
Kuchita zachiwerewere kwa amayi kumatetezedwa ndi kumverera kozizira mu chipinda chogona. Ndipo zambiri (ngati sizinthu zonse) zimadalira mnzanuyo. Ngati atakhazikitsidwa pofuna kuyesa, ngati akulimbikitsa malingaliro a mnzanuyo, posachedwa adzasiya manyazi ndipo adzasiya kugonana. Wokondedwayo akadziletsa komanso sakufuna kuvomereza chilichonse chatsopano pa kugonana, mkazi sangathe kulola kuti amasulidwe, kuti asamawonekere kuti akusowa. Ngakhale chifukwa cha chilungamo ziyenera kunenedwa kuti abambo amalandira "zonse" m'cipinda. Kodi si chifukwa chake a Chingerezi ali okonzeka kukwatiwa ndi anthu akunja kusiyana ndi Achimerika ndi Ajeremani? Pambuyo pake, zinali za amayi a Chingerezi kuti kutchuka kwa "matalala a chipale chofewa" adayikidwa, omwe ali okhudzana ndi zogona ...
Kotero njira imodzi yochokeramo: kuiwala za kukula kwa Puritan ndi ma complexes ndi kuchotsa mwachangu manyazi ndi kusasamala! Musachite mantha kuti muwone kuti ndinu wolimba mtima komanso wachikondi kwa mnzanuyo! Amuna ambiri amavomereza kuti maloto awo osakondweretsa amachititsa ngati "mikango".
Perekani RHYTHM!
"Kugonana, monga ntchito ina iliyonse ya thupi lathu, imayenera kuphunzitsidwa," anena za kugonana. Kuwonjezera pa "maphunziro", ndiko kuti, kugonana, ndipamwamba zogonana. Ndipo mosiyana ndi izi: nthawi zambiri mumakumbukira za kugonana, mwamsanga ntchito yogonana "imatuluka kunja". Ndipo lamulo ili likugwiritsidwa ntchito kwa akazi, ndi kwa amuna. Choncho ikani kugonana payeso la moyo, ngati si pa mzere woyamba, ndiye kuti mwakachetechete khumi mukhale ndi chiganizo cha moyo wa kugonana. Winawake ali nazo izi kasanu pa mlungu, wina - 3, wina - 1. Amuna okwatirana omwe amakhala ndi chizolowezi chogonana 2-3 pa sabata, koma mumzinda waukulu, Moscow, chizindikiro ichi m'munsimu: mabanja ambiri amayamba kuchita zosangalatsa zakuthupi kawiri kawiri pamlungu. Ngakhale kuti lingaliro lachizoloŵezi palokha liri lokha kwambiri. Madokotala amakhulupirira kuti chigwirizano cha kugonana chiyenera kukwanira onse awiri. Chinthu chachikulu ndikutsatira "nthawi" iyi, kupeŵa kupuma kwautali kwambiri.
Ngati zosowa zanu zogonana zimasiyana ndi abambo, zingasinthidwe ndi chithandizo cha wogonana. Ndipotu ndondomeko ya kugonana imasiyana ndi ya amayi: kugonana kwakukulu ndipamwamba pazomwe amatha kugonana pazaka 19-25. Pambuyo pake, kugonana kumayamba kuchepa pang'onopang'ono, ngakhale pali zosiyana zambiri mu lamuloli. Chifukwa chakuti maanja omwe ali ndi zaka zoposa 30, nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi vuto lomwelo: mkazi amafuna kugonana mobwerezabwereza, mwamuna amatha kupanga maseŵero olimbitsa thupi. Kawirikawiri izi zimabweretsa mikangano yaikulu, kuphatikizapo kusudzulana, ngakhale kuti kusagwirizana ndi kugonana sikuvuta kwambiri.
Nthawi zambiri, ngati munthu sangakwanitse kukukhutiritsani, mungathe kuchita maliseche - komanso ngati mumakhala ndi chizoloŵezi chogonana, ngakhale kuti muli ndi "chikhalidwe" chochepa kuposa kugonana. Amagulu opatsirana pogonana samawona choipa chirichonse mu maliseche komanso amawalimbikitsa kwa odwala (izo zimakhala ngati zotchinga). Ndipo ndibwino nthawi ndi nthawi kuti mupume panokha mu bafa kusiyana ndi kunyoza mwamuna chifukwa cha kusagonana.
Khalani ndi Chidziwitso!
Nkhani ya kugonana ndi chinthu chophweka. Zambiri zingathe kuchepetsa kapena kuziletsa. Choyamba, kusuta. Chifukwa cha ndudu yosuta fodya, ziwiyazo zimakhalabe m'madera osokoneza bongo kwa maola awiri okha, omwe, pokhapokha, akhoza kusokoneza ziwalo za magazi ndi mpweya. Tangoganizani zomwe zimachitika kwa thupi, ngati mumasuta ndudu imodzi, ndi phukusi lonse?
Chachiwiri, kumwa mowa mopitirira muyeso. Galasi la champagne ikhoza kukuthandizani ndikusintha mogwirizana, koma apa pali botolo limene lingakupangitseni kugona kapena kuyambitsa migraine. Popanda kutchulapo kuti mkazi sayenera kumwa mowa ngakhale pang'ono: zotsatira zake zingapangitse bwanji ngati ali ndi mimba, aliyense akudziwa. Chachitatu, kusowa tulo. Mudzadabwa kuona kuti kusagona tulo kumakhudza moyo wathu. Akatswiri amakhulupirira kuti anthu omwe amakhala "osakwanitsa" maola angapo akugona, amatha kudwala matenda opatsirana, kutaya, kuthamanga kwambiri mapaundi owonjezera, osagonana ndikukhala mochepa! Choncho, yambani kusintha mofulumira boma lake. Njira yabwino kwambiri ndi kugona kwa maola asanu ndi atatu (zolemba kuti "kuwonongeka" kwa umoyo wa amayi ndi moyo wa kugonana ndizovulaza!). Chachinayi, matenda ndi matenda ambiri. Zonsezi zimafooketsa thupi, komanso ntchito yogonana.