Pokhala ndi dongosolo loyambirira, chikondi sichinalipo pachiyambi cha maubwenzi, pakati pawo sikunapangidwe kokha kusiyana ndi chilakolako cha kubereka, chomwe chimadziwonetsera mwazochitika zonse zapadziko lapansi. Kukoka kotereku kunachokera pa zosavuta zachibadwa za abambo ndi amayi. Munthu aliyense amasonyeza maganizo ake mosiyana, koma momwe angapezere: chikondi kapena chinyengo?
Tsono kufotokoza kwa lingaliro la chikondi kulibe kusiyana ndi lingaliro lachinyengo. Chikondi ndi cha mitundu yosiyanasiyana, kuchokera pa zomwe tonse timapeza pamoyo wathu - amayi, kukonda dziko lathu, koma chikondi cholimba kwambiri ndi chokongola ndi chikondi pakati pa okondedwa awiri. Chikondi cha mtundu umenewu chomwe tingachifotokoze ngati mtundu wa chikondi cholimba, chilakolako chomwe chimayambitsa misala, zochitika, komanso kusamalira munthu wachiwiri wa chikondi chachiwiri chomwecho ndi chofunikira.
Panthawi yomweyi, nthawi zambiri timazindikira kuti munthu amene timamukonda pa dziko lapansi ndi gawo lomwe likuunikira njira yathu, ngakhale pamakangano, timayesayesa kuti tisakhumudwitse wina ndi mzake koma m'malo mwake timapanga malingaliro athu kuti tipitirize kusangalala ndi ubalewu pafupi ndi wokondedwa, kulandira chikondi ndi kukhululukira chinyengo. Kawirikawiri ngati chikondi chotero timamva kuti ena mwa ife amakhulupirira molakwika chifukwa cha chikondi. Chikondi chimenechi chimatchedwa chikondi, chikhoza "kugogoda" mutu wathu, kuchepetsa malingaliro, tingathe kukhala ngati ana ndipo sitikumvetsa izi chifukwa sitikusamala za khalidwe lathu, sitikusamala za malingaliro a wina, sitingakhale ndi chidwi choposa wina munthu, chifukwa cha zomwe timanyamulidwa nazo. Komanso, mwa okonda ndi anthu achikondi palibe mawu ngati ine, amasonyeza mgwirizano wawo wachikondi amangonena - WE.
Mtundu wachiwiri wa chikondi pakati pa anthu awiri ukhoza kutchedwa chikondi cha kugonana. Mwa iye, mmodzi wa maphwando akhoza kukonda kwenikweni, monga mwachangu ndi mopanda malire, akudzikuza m'malingaliro ake, ndipo izi zidzakhala chikondi chenicheni kwa iye, pamene wachiwiriyo sangawone mwachoncho chokhudzana ndi chilakolako cha kugonana ndi chitonthozo cha zosowa zake zogonana.
Chikondi choterechi chikhoza kutchedwanso chinyengo, chinyengo cha chiyanjano, koma pachiyambi ndikofunikira kudziwa chikondi ichi kapena chinyengo kuti asakhululuke. Mu ubale woterewu, khalidwe lachiwiri liribe chiyanjano ndi wokondedwa wake, monga lamulo, iye sasamala, mwachuluka, amene ali naye. Ngakhale kwa munthu wachikondi weniweni, khalidwe ili la theka lake lidzamupha, chifukwa sangathe kukonda chikondi, kapena kutaya yekha ndi munthu ndikumvetsetsa, ndikumverera kwake, osati njira yomwe imayendetsedwa mosavuta ndi njira zina zamatsenga. Mu maubwenzi otero, makangano amayamba kawirikawiri, chifukwa cha zomwe zili ndi zodandaula zomwe sizowonongeka kwa nthawi yayitali, chifukwa zimakhala zovuta kuti munthu adziwe kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi chinyengo.
Kuyanjana pakati pa anthu, kumakhala kofala komanso poyamba kumanyenga, koma nthawi zina amapereka chithunzi. Chifukwa chachinyengo chomwe chili pachibwenzicho? Chifukwa chachikulu cha ichi ndi chakuti munthu akuwopa, chinachake choti udziwe, izi n'zotheka, koma bwanji, chifukwa mumamukonda, komanso inuyo. Iye amangowopa chabe zotsatira za izi, koma kupita ku sitepe yotereyi, sakuganiza ngakhale kuti njira yotere yochotsera zovuta zingapangitse kukhala chizolowezi chonyenga munthu wake. Lero sanamuuze kuti adayenda pang'ono ndi mnzake, mawa, zomwe ankayesera kuchita, munthu wina woti akumane naye ndipo masiku angapo sakanena kuti akumwa khofi m'sitilanti ndi mnzake watsopano, kenako anapita kunyumba kwake. Inde, zonsezo sizowona, koma potsirizira pake zinatsogolera ku chiwonongeko komanso ngati kuthetsa kugonana. Inde, monga n'zotheka kunena za amuna, chinyengo ndi chinachake - ndi zomwe ziyenera kumenyana pamayambiriro a maonekedwe ake, tsambani msuzi wonyansa kuchokera ku chiyanjano chanu. Ndi bwino kunena zoona, inde, mutha kukangana pang'ono, kukangana, koma popanda izi, ndipo ubale ulibe kanthu, anthu amakangana, ngati amakondana wina ndi mzake, kenako amagwirizanitsa. Muzovuta kwambiri, munthu sayenera kumufunsa mnzanu kapena mnzanuyo, ziribe kanthu momwe mukuchitira, muyenera kusankha nokha, ndikukhala ndi udindo wanu, zilizonse zomwe mukuyenera kuzichita. Kumbukirani kuti mwanyenga kamodzi - kunamizidwa kachiwiri, kotero ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti kunyenga ndi chikondi ndi zinthu ziwiri zosagwirizana.
Aliyense akhoza kukhala wopanda chikondi, koma munthu wotere sadzataya zambiri, adzatayika chirichonse. Iye sangamve kuti akusowa wina, kuti wina amusamalire ndi kuyembekezera iye; nayenso sangathe kudzimva yekha poyerekeza ndi munthu wina. Zili ngati munthu yemwe sanazindikire maluwa m'moyo wake, sanaone momwe maluĊµa akuphukira amasangalatsidwa ndi mitundu yake; iye sakanakhoza kusangalala ndi nyimbo, iye sanamve kuimba kwa kasupe kwa mbalame, iye sakanakhoza kuwona kukongola konse kwa chirengedwe, iye ankakhala moyo wake wonse wa imvi mopanda pake.