Mutha kukumbukira kuti mu mndandanda wamtundu wakuti "Kugonana ndi Mzinda" mmodzi mwa anthu otchuka kwambiri, Charlotte, adafunsira kwa wokondedwa wake zonse zomwe akufuna, ngati atamva pempholi, adagwira dzanja lake pamwamba pa goliyo mwachikondi. Kulandiridwa kunali kovuta kwambiri ngakhale ngakhale atapereka kukwatira, anayankha kuti "Wokondwa!", Ngakhale kuti sanafune kupita ku korona.
Inde, mufilimuyi nkhaniyi imangokhalira kuphiphiritsira, komabe kulandiridwa ndi kukhudzidwa sikunachokera kumalo osangalatsa. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mitundu, otchedwa anchors - zigawo za NLP. Ndipo akatswiri a zamaganizo a anthu amakhulupirira kuti njira ya angwe idzawathandiza maanja kuthetsa mavuto ambiri mu chiyanjano. Tiyeni tiwone momwe zilili, momwe amagwirira ntchito, ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, tidzayesa ndi chithandizo chawo kuti apange ubale wabwino kwambiri.
Kodi nangula ndi chiyani?
Malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, nangula ndi chikoka chimene chimayambitsa thupi kapena maganizo, ndipo kotero khalidwe lina. Ndipo zoterezi zingakhale chirichonse: fano, phokoso, kumva, kulawa kapena fungo. Tiyerekeze kuti mukugwiritsa ntchito fungo la Chanel nambala 5 pokhapokha pa tchuthi, mu moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku, mumakonda mafuta abwino. Koma tsiku lina mumafuna kugwiritsa ntchito Chanel pachabe, popanda chifukwa. Pokhala wokometsera, nthawi yomweyo mumangokhalira kukondwa pang'ono, maganizowo amakula bwino. Mwachidziwikire, ndakhala ndikukumana ndi zovuta zonse zomwe zimapezeka mwa ife kuyembekezera tchuthi. Ndipo zindikirani, momwemo fungo ili lidzakhudza mwamuna wanu nayenso, chifukwa fungo la Chanel nambala 5 likugwirizananso ndi nthawi yosangalatsa.
Koma kuyankhula za anchors zamalingaliro, ndikofunikira kumvetsa kuti sizowoneka bwino, monga momwe zinaliri kale, komanso zosasangalatsa. Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna, ataima ndi msana wake kwa iwe, amadya kapu ya tiyi. Ndipo inu mumafuna kumukumbatira iye. Inu mumayandikira, mumamukulunga ndi manja anu, ndipo mwamuna wake mwadzidzidzi akubwerera. Bwanji, chifukwa chirichonse chiri bwino ndi inu ?! Kumbukirani, koma masiku angapo apitawo zochitika zomwezo zinachitika: Mwamuna adabwera kuchokera kuntchito ndi chinachake chokhumudwitsa, inu mumamutonthoza ndikumukumbatira kumbuyo. Ndiye munaganiza kuti munatha kuthetsa vutoli, ndipo mwamunayo mwamumtima anamangiriza kukumbatirani kumalingaliro okhumudwa omwe anagwedezeka panthawi imeneyo. Ndipo pamene iwe, popanda kumvetsa, unabweretsanso nangula uwu, mwamuna adakwiya. Kodi mungapewe bwanji zoterezi mtsogolomu? Wokondedwa wanu akachoka kutali, yesetsani kumusiya yekha kwa theka la ora. Ndipo ngati sizingatheke, musachikhudze.
Ndipo phokoso ndi fungo
Akatswiri a NLP amanena kuti moyo wathu uli wodzaza ndi mawonekedwe a maganizo. Ndipo iwo akulondola! Monga lamulo, njira "yokhazikika" imachitika mwachindunji m'moyo wathu. Tiyerekeze kuti mumadziwa kuti wokondedwa wanu adzakuthandizani ndikukhazika mtima pansi, choncho n'zosadabwitsa kuti mukumenyana ndi mavuto omwe mukufuna kuti mukhale naye pafupi. Izi sizingatheke, choncho mumayamba kulingalira momwe mwamuna wanu angakulimbikitsireni, kaya ndi mawu ati omwe mumanena, ndipo mukhale chete. Ndipo pangakhale angapo ambiri: nyimbo kuchokera ku Aida, zithunzi za mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi, fungo la kuphika kwa amayi anga, filimu "Spring on Zarechnaya Street," ndi zina zotero.
Ngati izi zikugwira ntchito bwino, bwanji osayesa kuyendetsa mapangidwe a anchos ndi kuzigwiritsa ntchito kuti abweretse mgwirizano ndi chikhalidwe choyenerera.
Choyamba, tiyeni tiwone zomwe anakhazikitsa zidzakuthandizani kuyitana okondedwa anu ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana okondana: kuchokera ku chifundo ndi chilakolako. Onani. Mwachitsanzo, kuvala chovala chokongola, funsani ngati zikupita kwa inu (kawirikawiri, perekani kuti adzikumbukire). Ndipo pamene ayankha kuti inde, ndikukondanso, ndikumuyamika maonekedwe ake. Ndipo pamene mukuvala "chida chachinsinsi" ichi, tamandani okondedwa anu, kukumbatirana, kumpsompsona. Mudzawona kuti m'tsogolo mudzavala chophimba ichi, mukhoza kuukitsa.
Konzani wokondedwa wanu mwa kuwala kwa kandulo ndipo mutenge mtundu wina wa nyimbo zachikondi. Muyenera kutsimikiza kuti nyimboyi kapena nyimboyi imakhala "yanu". Ndiye, pakumva, wokondedwayo adzakuganizirani, kumbukirani momwe mulili pamodzi. Kukhudza kwanu "kopadera" kapena kukupsompsona nthawi yomwe inu ndi okondedwa anu muthandizirani kuti muyandikane naye kwambiri.
Musanayambe kukondana, muzitsuka ndi mafuta omwewo kapena madzi a chimbudzi. Patapita kanthawi, pfungo lamodzi lino limapangitsa mwamuna kusewera mogwirizana.
Ndipo tsopano tiyeni tiyese kumangirira wokondedwayo mothandizidwa ndi anchor - kinesthetic yothandiza kwambiri. Koma izi zisanachitike ndikufuna kukuchenjezani: musaganize kuti pakuchita izi kangapo, muli pano, muwona zotsatira. Ndipotu, mnzanuyo si galu wa Pavlov. Zambiri zimadalira nthawi zingapo zomwe mumachitira, momwe mwamunayo akumvera komanso ngati zomwezo zingamugwire.
Choncho, dikirani nthawi yomwe wokondedwa wanu ali ndi maganizo abwino. Mwadzidzidzi, gwirani mofatsa kambirimbiri pamalo ovomerezeka. Ndipo ngati zikuwoneka kuti mwamuna sakukulakwitsa iwe, bwerezani "kukhudzana" kwanu. Samalani mfundo ziwiri. Choyamba, nangula adzakhala wogwira mtima ngati "muyika" izo mosadziwika. Ndipo kachiwiri, nangula wotereyo ndi ovuta kwambiri kuvala malo "ovuta" kufika: mkono, chitsime, kumbuyo.
Malinga ndi akatswiri a NLP, amuna amatha kugwa kuti aziwoneka ndi achikunja. Choncho, mvetserani maonekedwe anu ndipo nthawi zambiri muzikhudza wokondedwa wanu.
Musapitirire! Anchoke zamtima zingakhale zothandiza kwambiri pa ubale wachikondi. Chinthu chokha, musagwiritse ntchito ngati njira yachinyengo. Chifukwa, choyamba, mwamunayo mwamuna kapena mkazi adzasokoneza njira zanu, ndipo patsimikizirani, zikomo simunganene. Ndipo kachiwiri, akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti kugwiritsa ntchito kawirikawiri njira za NLP kumaphwanya maganizo athu. Gwirizanitsani, ngati mutayaza maganizo onse a wokondedwa wanu, monga ngati pamasamulo, moyo umakhala wosangalatsa kwambiri.