Kotero zimakhala kuti mumakonda, koma simukutero. Mu mzimu muli kumverera kopweteka kowawa. Zimakuzunzani komanso zimakupatsani mtendere, ndikukakamizani kuti muthamangire kukhululukira chinthu chokhumba, ndiye kuti mutha kukonza zolinga zowbwezera ...
Zonsezi ndi chifukwa chakumverera ngati kugwera mu chikondi. Ndiye bwanji kuchotsa chikondi kwa munthu?
Njira zopewera.
Tiyeni tione mmene chikondi chimayandikira. Icho, chotamandidwa pakati pa anthu, zedi sizowonjezera matenda okhudza ubongo. Kumbukirani momwe munayambira chikondi choyamba - kupsinjika maganizo ndi chidziwitso, kukhudzidwa kwathunthu ndi chisangalalo, kusakhalapo maganizo ndi kumverera kuti mutha kusintha mapiri. M'lingaliro lenileni, Juliet aliyense ali ndi zizindikiro zomwe tafotokozazi, koma yesetsani kupita nawo, mwachitsanzo, kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Adzadzidziwitsanso nthawi yomweyo - maganizo - kenako amapereka chithandizo. Tsoka, nthawi zambiri chikondi chimayamba kuchitidwa mu gawo lomwe lanyalanyazidwa kale, pamene matendawa samayankha mankhwala. N'zosavuta kutenga njira zosiyanasiyana zothandizira. Musalole ngakhale maganizo a chikondi kapena chikondi, kumenyana ndi mawonetseredwe ake onse, asiye kuwerenga mabuku za chikondi, kutaya melodramas chikondi, ndipo mmalo mwake, dzidzidzireni nokha mu ntchito yanu. Ngati zotsatilazi zikutsatiridwa, chiopsezo chotenga kachilombo ka HIV kamene kamatchedwa "chikondi" chidzachepa msanga.
Njira ya kumvetsetsa zomveka.
Cholinga ndi kuyang'anitsitsa bwino ubwino ndi zovuta zonse. Nchiyani chingakupangitse inu kumverera kwa chikondi? Ngakhale zinthu zonse zikupita patsogolo, ndiye kuti mosakayikira kutha kwa malingaliro, ndiyeno kutsutsana, kukangana ndi kupuma kosapeŵeka. Ngakhale ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mukuchita molondola, ngakhale kupatukana kungakupangitseni maganizo ambiri olakwika.
Kukonda ndiko kutaya. Ndipo choyamba ufulu.
Chikondi ndi mwaufulu, ndipo chotero ndi ukapolo wapamwamba kwambiri; kumbukirani ulemu wanu, kodi mumakonda kukhala kapolo? Chikondi chimachotsa kwa inu nthawi yochuluka, mphamvu, mitsempha, ndalama; nthawi zambiri mumataya abwenzi, ntchito, ndi kumapeto, kungokumbukira, osati nthawi zonse zokondweretsa. Kuchotsa chikondi kwa munthu kudzakhala kokwanira kukumbukira kuchuluka kwa zolakwa ndi zoipa zomwe zinachitika nthawi zonse chifukwa cha chikondi; kumbukirani anthu onse omwe kupusa kwawo kunavulaza achibale ndi abwenzi. Kodi kupusa uku kwakukulu kukuwoneka kukuyesa kwa inu?
Njira ya Vega
"Ngati ndiwe wophunzira kwambiri kwa akazi, yang'anani zovuta m'makondomu," - choncho anaphunzitsa msilikali wa mmodzi mwa makompyuta otchuka a osewera nawo ku Spain. Yesetsani kuthana ndi zomwe mukulakalaka monga momwe mungathere. Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, kumbukirani zolakwa zake. Kodi ali ndi vuto laling'ono? - Great! Inu mukhoza kukhulupirira, muzaka zingapo izo ziwoneka ngati nkhumba yeniyeni. Iye sakudziwa kuphika? "Ndipo sadzaphunzira konse!" Nthawi iliyonse mukabwera kunyumba, mudzakhala mukuyembekezera zofukizira ndi mbatata yosaphika. Pezani zopanda ungwiro ngakhale ziri zoyenera. Kodi nayenso ali ndi ndalama? Izo si zoona, iye amangokhalira kupweteka! Kodi iye ndi wokonda kwambiri? Izi zikutanthauza kuti "akuphunzitsabe" kwinakwake! Nthawi zambiri mukamachita zimenezi, mofulumira kugwa m'chikondi ndi maso anu.
Njira ya Pasteur.
Si chinsinsi chomwe Pasteur akufuna kuti adziwe matenda ofooka m'thupi la munthu kuti athetse chitetezo cha chitetezo. Choncho, ngati mukuvutika maganizo ndi maloto amtundu uliwonse, ndipo mwatopa kale ndikuwakakamiza, ndiye kuti muwapatse ufulu. Yesetsani kudzipeza nokha mwachangu chinthu chokhumba ndi kutengeka ndi buku. Koma, mwamsanga mutangomva kuti mukugwirizana nazo - mwamsanga muponyeni ndikuyang'ana yotsatira. Mukachita izi kangapo 4-5, mudzalandira mlingo wokwanira wa "mankhwala" ndikuchotseratu chikondi cha munthu. Koma musaiwale kuti "zonse ziri poizoni ndipo chirichonse ndi mankhwala - pokhapokha pa mlingo," chinthu chofunikira kwambiri ndikuti musapitirire, kapena mutayambanso kukondana. Zoona, ndipo kusowa kwanu kungakhale kwa inu chifukwa cha kuzunzidwa kwatsopano.
Njira ya de-romanticization
Monga mukudziwira, ndi anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro achikondi amene amakonda kukondana. Amalingalira chikondi, ndipo chotero chovuta chirichonse pa nkhaniyi chimawoneka ndi iwo ngati magwero a zowawa zazikulu ndi kuzunzika. Ngati muli ndi mtundu woterewu, ndiye kuti mukhoza kuthandizira kukondana. Zidzakhala zokwanira kuchotseratu anthu ndi malingaliro apadziko lapansi, ndipo chikondi chidzadutsa palokha. Kwa ichi, choyamba, werengani nkhani zingapo zopanda chikondi, komabe, pafupifupi zonsezi ndizomwe zimakhala zosiyana, kotero pasakhale mavuto ena apadera.
Lankhulani ndi munthu wotereyo amene sagwirizana ndi chikondi. Anthu oterewa angapezeke paliponse, mumzinda ulionse mungapeze wothandizana nawo. Komabe pali njira yosaka pa intaneti. Posachedwapa, ndinatha kupeza malo osokoneza bongo. Thandizo loyambirapo nthawi zambiri limakhala lothandiza kwambiri, kuti athetse chikondi kwa munthu. Komanso, ngati sikukuthandizani, ndibwino kupita ndi kugwira ntchito. Pakuti chikhalidwe chimakhala ndi mankhwala abwino kwambiri chidzakhala ntchito ya namwino, womanga, woponya zovala, wolemba katundu. Monga lamulo, ndizokwanira kukhala mu malo awa kwa mwezi umodzi - theka limodzi ndi theka, ndipo magalasi ojambula maluwa adzachotsedwa kosatha.
Njira ya extrapolation.
Mukakhala kuti mukugonjetsedwa ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana achikondi, ngati mukuganiza kuti mukhoza kupulumutsa kapena kubwezeretsa ubale, ndiye pali malangizo ena - musamadzipusitse. Mukuganiza kuti "zonse zidzakhala zosiyana kwambiri" - yesani kulingalira izi "mosiyana" tsiku ndi tsiku, mwezi ndi mwezi. Chiyanjano cha ubale wadutsa kale; Nkhani zokondweretsa zokambirana zatopa, zimangokhala zokambirana za mavuto ovuta kapena nyengo, zomwe mungachite bwino ndi anzanu kapena anzanu. Mkwatibwi zonse zatsopano zomwe sizingatheke (mwa aliyense wa ife ali, ndipo kuchokera apa sangathe kuthawa) ...
Tangolingalirani kulankhulana kwatsopano ndi mnzanuyo, kuyambira sabata ndi mlungu, chaka ndi chaka, nthawi zonse ndi munthu yemweyo - ndipo mwamsanga mukumverera momwe phokoso losasunthika lidzakulandirani, kosatha kukupulumutsani ku chikondi cha munthu. Ganizirani: kodi mtundu umenewu wa chikondi ungapangitse chiyani mtsogolomu? Kodi mukufuna kukhala pamodzi? Ndipo kodi mungakhale ndi mwayi womanga moyo limodzi ndi chikondi? Kodi pali kumvetsetsa kofunikira kotereku? Ngati pali lingaliro ndi lingaliro, kodi mungavomereze pa chinachake? Kodi muli ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi bizinesi, zachuma, ndi zapakhomo? ... Mukuwona, ndi mafunso angati! Kodi mungathe kusinthitsa kulemera konse kwa moyo wamba? Nthawi ndi nthawi ganizirani za izo, ndipo mudzawona kuti chilakolako chofuna kukondana chimatha.
Njira yoyenera ya moyo.
Kumbukirani kuti kusayera ndi gwero la pafupifupi machitidwe onse omwe alipo. Ngati malingaliro anu sakugwiritsidwa ntchito mwanjira iliyonse, ndiye kuti n'zosadabwitsa kuti mutu umadzaza ndi zamkhutu; chikhalidwe, monga mukudziwa, sichimalekerera zopanda pake. Ngati muli ndi ntchito yopanga nzeru yomwe imakupatsani chisangalalo, ambiri, ngati muli ndi phunziro losangalatsa (kaya ndilozoloŵera kapena ntchito yeniyeni) - malingaliro okhudza mnzanu wapamtima sangayembekezere kutenga malingaliro anu ndipo mutha kuchotsa chikondi kwa munthu.
Sikofunika kuti tigonjere kukhumudwa kwabodza kwa iwo amene adalepheretsa zofooka zawo, ngakhale kuti sangathe kuzigonjetsa. Anthu oterewa, oyenera kuwamvera chisoni, ndipo izi ndi zabwino kwambiri, ndipo ponyalanyaza kwambiri, popeza adasefukira dziko lapansi ndi mawu monga "simungathe kulamulira mtima wanu," ndi "paradiso wabwino ndi nyumba" ndi zina zotero. Zachabechabe zoterozo zikufanana ndi nkhani za oledzera ndi zidakwa omwe safuna kuthetsa zovuta zawo. Khalani pamwamba pa izi zonse, ndipo mukhoza kudzikuza nokha, ndipo izi ndi zosangalatsa kuposa "zokondweretsa" za chikondi.
Njira ya Sigmund Freud
Katswiri wafilosofi wotchuka Freud mu ntchito zake za sayansi anafotokoza momwe munthu amadziwira kuti amatenga mphamvu. Izi ndi njira zomwe mphamvu zimatsogoleredwa poyamba ku zolinga zamagulu kapena zachiwerewere zimakonzedwanso kuzinthu zina, nthawi zambiri ku nzeru, zojambulajambula kapena chikhalidwe. Choncho, zikutanthauza kuti, pokhala ndi chikondi, tiyenera kutsitsimutsa malingaliro athu onse ku chilengedwe. Kodi mumakonda kujambula? Chotsani! Kusewera nyimbo? Ndibwino kwambiri!
Yesani kulembetsa chinthu chodabwitsa (chofunikira kwambiri), mwachitsanzo, opera kapena cantata. Simudziwa kuti palibe kapena wina, ndiye pitani mukaphunzire! Sitichedwa mochedwa kuti muphunzire kusewera chida chanu choimba, phunzirani zofunikira pa kujambula kapena kuphunzira masankhulidwe angapo a kuvina, pamene mukufotokozera momwe mumamvera ndi malingaliro omwe mwalandira kuchokera ku chikondi kwa munthu wina.
Kuwonetsa mphamvu za chikondi, mukhoza kupanga chinachake chokongola ndi, kiyi, chikondi chanu chidzatha, ndipo mutha kukhala ndi talente ina, yomwe, panthawi yomweyo, ikhoza kukhala mwayi watsopano.
Methodology B. Mu. Zeigarnik - ingomaliza chikondi
Bluma Wolfenovna Zeygarnik, yemwe ndi katswiri wodziwa za matenda a pakhomo, yemwe amaphunzira payekha, adapatsa anthu 20 ntchito zing'onozing'ono kuti apange nyumba phukusi la masewera, kuti athetse masewero, kusonkhanitsa zithunzi, ndi zina mwa ntchito zomwe sanakwanitse mpaka mapeto. Kenaka, ngati kuti mwangozi, adafunsidwa kuti ndi ntchito ziti zimene amakumbukira makamaka, ndipo nthawi zambiri nkhanizo zimakumbukira ntchito zomwe saloledwa kukwaniritsa.
Kotero chikondi sichimangwiro nthawi zonse mpaka mapeto. Zikuwoneka kuti zikutsatiridwa mu chidziwitso, ndikusokoneza maganizo omwe nthawi zonse amatha. Timakumbukira nthawi zonse munthu uyu pamene tikufunikira kapena sitiyenera, timalankhula naye m'maganizo, timamukwiyira komanso timamukhululukira nthawi zambiri ... Nthawi zambiri malingalirowa amakhala ovuta kwambiri moti angathe kusokoneza kuphunzira, kugwira ntchito, kugona, choncho tiyenera kuwasiya kuti muchotse.
Kodi mungawachotse bwanji? Ndikofunika kumaliza chikondi chanu. Inde, zingakhale zabwino kupita kwa psychoanalyst ndikuyankhula naye. Komabe, sikuti aliyense ali ndi mwayi wotero, kotero iwe udzafuna thandizo la chibwenzi chamtima kapena bwenzi. Choyamba: muyenera kukhala moyang'anizana. Pambuyo pake, fotokozerani kwa iye zonsezi, poyambira pachibwenzi ndi kumaliza ndi kupatukana, simukusowa kulankhula za momwe mumamvera kapena kumverera, yesetsani kuchita, monga lipoti la boma. Gawo lotsatira likufotokoza nkhani yomweyi, koma tsopano kuchokera kumalingaliro a maganizo, lolani wothandizira wanu afunse kuti: "Kodi mumamva bwanji pa nthawi imeneyo?". Gawo lachitatu likuphatikiza kumvetsetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo kwa munthu uyu tsopano, tiuzeni za tsatanetsatane. Gawo lachinayi ndilokulankhulana ndi theka lakale, koma osati lalero, koma losayerekezera. Pezani mpando wina, ndipo tidziwonetseni nokha zomwe mumaganiza zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi amenewa, kenako mutembenuzire ku mpando wachiwiri, ndikudziyesa kuti ndinu munthu amene mumamusiya, mumupatse yankho, ndi zina zotero. Ndiye kachiwiri, bwerezani sitepe inayi. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti zimathandiza kwambiri ngati mukufuna kuchotsa chikondi kwa munthu wina.