Kubwezeretsa chidaliro mu banja palibe njira yabwino kuposa kukambirana za vuto ndi okwatirana. Ngati okwatirana akufuna kukhala ogwirizana, ndiye kuti nkofunika kukambirana ndi kuvomerezana pa maudindo onse. Ndipo ndithudi, zitsimikizirani kuti malondawa akugwiritsidwa ntchito. Ndikofunika kukhala okhulupilika wina ndi mzake, kuyankhulana momasuka kwa okwatirana ndikofunikira. Ngati mwatsutsidwa ndi kusakhulupirika, ziribe kanthu, muyenera kuvomerezana ndi chiwembu, chifukwa kukana kungangowonjezera vutoli. Funsani chikhululukiro, ngakhale mutakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi munthu wina. Lonjezerani kuti musiye chiyanjano ndi munthu uyu, osawona komanso osayankhulana ndi zomwe zikukangana, asiye kugwirizana konseko kumbali. Zindikirani chigawo chanu chachiwiri cha chikondi chanu, kuti simukufuna kusokoneza chiyanjano chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwanu.
Pamodzi ndi mnzanu, yesani mgwirizano wanu, zomwe zinachititsa mmodzi wa okwatirana kufunafuna zosangalatsa kumbali. Kukhumudwa kwa nthawi yaitali, kusamvetsetsana, kudziona kuti ndi otsika komanso kutaya chidwi ndi zina zomwe zingayambitse kusintha ndikusowa kukambirana. Chiwembu pakati pa abambo ndi amai ndi chosiyana, monga momwe magulu ambiri amalingaliro amatchulira. Mwachidziwikire, amuna mwachibadwa amafuna akazi ambiri. Koma izi zikutanthauza nthawi yachinyamata, ndi msinkhu, munthu yemweyo amayang'ana ubale wokhwima, wa nthawi yaitali womwe sukhazikika pazowona zogonana. Ndipo amayi amasintha ngati amakhumudwa ndi wokondedwa wawo, kusakhutira kwina, komwe kumayenera kusinthidwa ndi chinachake. Kwenikweni, kugulitsidwa kwake, munthu amamuwonetsa mnzake kuti chinachake sichili chogwirizana naye. Pambuyo pake, nthawi zina ndife osamva ku zomwe tikufuna kuziwona m'banja.
Nazi malingaliro kwa iwo amene alakwitsa, koma akufuna kubwereranso chiyanjano chabwino ndi wokondedwa. Choyamba, muyenera kukhala osasinthasintha, ngati mwasintha, khalani wokonzeka kukhala ndi udindo pa zomwe mukuchita. Mwinamwake ife tifunika kuswa chiyanjano. Kuti muvutike maganizo, mnzanuyo amafunika nthawi. Nthawi zina ndi bwino kusinthitsa kufotokoza kwa ubalewo, mpaka nthawi yomwe mnzanuyo amachepetsa. Kuti mubwezeretse chidaliro, yambani ndi kugwirizana pang'ono, osakakamiza zochitika. Onetsetsani kuti inu nonse mukufuna kuyanjana, kuti simungakhale popanda wina ndi mzake. Mwa ichi mudzathandiza psychoanalyst, muyenera kufunsa katswiri kwa uphungu. Chofunika kwambiri ndi "ovulala", mwachitsanzo, mnzanga, yemwe anasinthidwa.
Kodi iye ayenera kuchita chiyani, momwe angabwezeretse chidaliro mwa munthu amene anakuperekani? Kodi mungabwezere bwanji chikhulupiliro m'banja mukatha kusakhulupirika? Mmodzi mwa okwatirana, omwe adaphunzira za kuperekedwa kwa wina, akufunsa funso, koma kodi tiyenera kukhululukira, kupatula banja, kubwezeretsa chiyanjano? Choyamba, funso ili lifunsidwa nokha, kodi mungapitirize kukhala ndi munthu uyu, kodi mwakonzeka kukhululukira? Ngati ndi choncho, pambuyo pa kupsa mtima konse, khalani chete, muyenera kukambirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu vuto, ziribe kanthu momwe zingakhalire zosasangalatsa inu. Ambiri, ataphunzira za kusakhulupirika kwa mnzawo - adziwona kwinakwake ndi munthu wina, ndipo sanazizindikire, kapena ofunsana bwino adanena, ziribe kanthu - poopa kuti ataya, abisa chidziwitso chawo. Potero amadzizunza okha, amakhala okhumudwa kwambiri. Ngakhale pakuwona chikhalidwe cha chikhristu, sikuvomerezeka kuti mmodzi mwa anthu okwatirana azikhala m'nyumba ziwiri, pamene wina akudikira ndi kulekerera, pamene zinthu zatha. Choncho, musabisile kwa mnzanuyo yemwe mumamudziwa za kusakhulupirika kwake. Komanso, musapse mtima mtima wanu - "Iye wandipereka, ali ndi mlandu!". Chifukwa cha mkwiyo umenewu munthu amangoona mkwiyo wake wokha, ndipo izi zimakhudza kwambiri chibwenzi.
Moyo umadzala ndi zovuta zambiri, mayesero, omwe tiyenera kukonzekera. Chinthu chachilendo ndi chakuti wina akhoza kutipweteka, atiperekere. Zonsezi ndi malamulo a moyo, wa chitukuko cha anthu. Kodi mungabwezere bwanji chikhulupiliro m'banja mukatha kusakhulupirika? Ambiri amaganiza kuti chiwonongeko chimatha kutha kwa ubale m'banja, pamene akukumana ndi ululu, mkwiyo, ndi kutaya chiyembekezo. Koma ndi njira yokha yomwe ikukhalira pakati pa anthu awiri. Mavuto omwe amakumana palimodzi angathe kugwirizanitsa anthu awiri. Kapena mwinamwake iwo amvetsetsa kuti ubale wakale wapita kale ndipo onse awiri amafunikira ena - maubwenzi atsopano. Mulimonsemo, abwenzi ayenera kutsegulidwa, nthawi zambiri kukambirana za momwe amamvera.