Tonse ndife ana a makolo athu. Timawadalira kuyambira ali mwana - pambuyo pa anthu onsewa adatisamalira ndikutisamalira. Patapita nthawi, ambiri amakhala makolo, ndipo amadabwa kuona kuti ntchitoyi ndi yovuta. Koma ndikumvetsetsa konse, tili nawo, kale ndipo nthawi zambiri sitinathe kukwanitsa maubwenzi - mwachitsanzo, mayi ndi mwana wamkazi.
Pokhala ndi mwayi waukulu, iwo sadzayenera kuti "asinthe" zenizeni zatsopano, koma amangidwenso kwathunthu. Msungwanayo anakulira, amayi anga akupitirizabe - kodi mndandanda wa mkangano uwu umachokera pati ndi momwe ungathetsere molondola?
Nthawi yovuta kukula
Kukula kwa ana kumakhala kosavuta, koma osati kosavuta. Atsikana amavomerezana ndi amayi awo, kapena osakangana. Ndipo anawo amadziwika kuti ndi odzikonda okhaokha. Chifukwa chake, funso "momwe mungamange ubale wa mayi ndi mwana wamkulu?" Kodi ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa ubale wa "bambo-abambo"?
Chinthu choyipa kwambiri chomwe mungaganize, ndipo icho chidzakhudza moyo wa mtsikana, mkazi wamtsogolo - ndikuteteza "akuluakulu" awo. Ufulu wokhala wekha, kukhala ndi chikhulupiliro chanu komanso kukhala chifukwa chokangana, mgwirizano wovuta pakati pa mwana wamkulu ndi amayi ake. Ndi momwe mungakhalire ubale ndi mwana wamkulu, ngati mbali zonse ziwiri zikupitirizabe?
Nthawi zovuta
Zaka 5-7. Mpikisano wosadziwika wa "Bambo"
Mavuto oyambirira amayamba msinkhu waunyamata. Iwo amachokera ku mpikisano pakati pa mayi ndi mwana wamkazi. Ndani angaganize kuti afunika kutsimikizira kuti ali ndi mwana wamkazi wazaka zisanu ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri?
Ndipo ngati amayi anga amakayikira za kukongola kwake, kupambana kwake, malingaliro ake, zonsezi zingayambitse ubwenzi wawo ndi mwana wake wamkazi. Ndipotu, ana amawoneka bwino pamene sitikumva bwino, kumene timawoneka ngati opanda pake kapena osadziŵa.
Chinthu choipitsitsa chimene amai angachite ndicho kukangana kwambiri ndi mwana wake wamkazi. "Momwemo, amandiuza zolephera zanga!" - Amayi adzakwiya ndipo zidzakhala zolakwika. Ndipo chinthu chabwino kwambiri ndikumutamanda kuchokera pa zochitika zoyambirira zomwe mtsikanayu amachita.
Anatsuka mbale yake, amamuphika chakudya cham'kati mwa microweve, kapena anachotsa fumbi mnyumbamo, anabweretsa zisanu zoyambirira - zonsezi ndi mwayi womudziwa bwino. Monga momwe zinaliri mujambulajambula bwino: "Kodi mwatulutsa zinyalala? Mwana wakhungu! "
Ndipo mwana wamkazi wamkulu, amene anapulumuka nthawiyi popanda malire, ayenera kusinkhasinkha za kuti ubwana wakhala utatha nthawi yaitali, ndikupitiliza mpikisano wamisala ndi amayi anga ali opusa.
Zaka 13-19. Zaka za kumpsompsona koyamba
Kuyenda koyamba ndi anyamata (ngakhale mwaukali, ndi dzanja, kapena mu kampani) kungayambitse mayiyo mavuto. Ngakhalenso ngati izi zakhala zikupambana ndi kutchuka, zimadya kaduka. Tsopano amayi ndi "mkazi wa mwamuna", ndipo pambali pake, kuyambanso kwakumverera koyamba sikungabweretse.
Wonjezerani apa zomwe zimawopa "Ndingatani ngati mwana wanga sakukhala namwali? Mwadzidzidzi, wina angamukhumudwitse? ", Ndipo mumvetsetsa mayi ndi mwana wake wamkazi. Kuwonjezera pa kulingalira moyenera kwa moyo, thanzi (thupi ndi maganizo) a "magazi" ake, akukakamizidwa kuti amudziwe kuti ali ndi chikazi chokwanira. Ndipo momwe tingamangire ubale ndi mayi wachikulire pambuyo pa mpikisano wodalirika wosadziwika bwino panthawi imeneyi ya kukula kwake ndizosamvetseka. Mulimonsemo, akatswiri a zamaganizo amayesetsa kubwezeretsa maubwenzi pokhapokha amayi ndi mwana ali kale odziimira pawokha. Apo ayi zidzakhala monga izi: "Mwana wanga wapasuka! Chitani chinachake ndi iye! "
20 ndi zoposa. Pambuyo pa "kupanduka." Moyo wa banja
N'chiyani chomwe chingakhale chokhudza komanso chosangalatsa kuposa mwana wamkazi amene amakwatira amakhala ndi banja lake? Mwana yekhayo amene samachita zonsezi!
Mayi amavutika kuvomereza kuti mwana wakeyo ali kale mofanana naye. Zomwezo kapena (zoipitsitsa) - pamlingo wapamwamba zimasamalira mwamuna wake, zimayendetsa bwino nyumba ndikukonzekera mbale zovuta.
Mpikisano wotsatirawu ukuwonjezeredwa ndi kuti mwanayo ali kale wokhoza kumvetsera mwachidwi kuzinenezo, ndi "kupanduka kwachinyamata" iye sangathe kuika. Iye wakula kale. Pa nthawiyi, amayi akuganiza kale za zomwe zimawoneka kuti sizikufunikira ndi ana awo aakazi. Koma mums nthawi zonse amafunikira!
Gawo ili la mgwirizano ndilopindulitsa kwambiri, komanso momwe mungamangire ubale wa mayi ndi mwana wamkulu wamkulu. Zili zosavuta kuti mupeze "zida" zimenezo, malo omwe amayi amafunikira ndipo angapereke thandizo lofunika kwambiri. Kulera ana? Malangizo opindulitsa pa banjali, pamene akufunsidwa? Chovala cha misonzi yonse, chomwe chimayambitsa mavuto oyambirira m'banja?
Pali njira zambiri. Koma mayi wochenjera ndi wozindikira adzazindikira pamene mwana wake nayenso akuyamba "kukokera" kwa amayi ake, kumanga zosiyana, osati "ubale". Wokwanira, wochezeka, wokondedwa (i-ine, i_inu) - zonse ziri ndi khalidwe lakulankhulana pakati pa mayi ndi mwana wamkazi.
Chinthu chachikulu chomwe chingathandize amayi kuti aziyanjana ndi mwana wamkulu:
- khalani othandiza, koma musalowerere;
- kukhala bwenzi, koma kuti ndisamufunse mwana wanga kuti azigawana zofuna za amayi ake.
Mayi yogwira ntchito, yogwira ntchito
"Wopereka ndalama" ndi chonyansa. Monga, komabe, ndi "agogo". Amayi sakufuna kuti adzivomereze okha, koma kubadwa kwa zidzukulu ndizochitika zokondweretsa, zowonongeka ndi chikhalidwe chatsopano. Koma amayi anga, amene "amatha kupitirira makumi asanu," amatha kuchita zinthu mopitirira malire, amadzimangirira ndi kuthamanga pafupi ndi abambo - ngakhale manyazi kwa mwana wake wamkazi.
Kumbali imodzi, "chithaphwi chowawa", chomwe chimapangidwira ngakhale kuzungulira wogwira ntchito pantchito, kukokera kunja. Komabe, ntchito iyeneranso kukhala yocheperapo. Mwanayo ayenera kuti amalemekeza amayi ake ngati ali ndi chidwi komanso ali ndi chidwi ngati ali ndi zofuna zake. Ndipo ngati amayi samanyalanyaza thandizo la banja lachichepere - ndiye ndiye mayi wa golidi, ndipo ubale wake ndi iye udzakhala wodabwitsa kwambiri!