Mawu akuti "mkazi alibe ngongole kwa wina aliyense" amakhala chabe mawu, kumveka mochuluka ngati kunyoza, ndi kuphwanya za moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku, kumene amayi ambiri amafunikira komanso ayenera. Kulimbikitsa mawu awa, ndikufuna kukumbukira "buku la hostess", lomasulidwa kumayambiriro kwa zaka 60. Lero, kuwerengera kwa amai amakono kudzachititsa kuti asadabwe, chifukwa poonjezera kuti pali malangizo a momwe angakhalire moyo ndi moyo wamba, pafupifupi pa tsamba lirilonse pali "mkazi akuyenera" ndipo "ayenera". Ntchito za mwamuna zimakhala zocheperapo, ndipo zimakhudza zoposa chinthu chofunikira, kusiyana ndi kuphweka kwa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndipo zimachokera ku zovuta zomwe moyo wathu unalengedwa koposa.
Kotero tiyeni tione, mzimayi, mkazi ayenera kusamalira mwamuna wake, kapena kodi ndi chabe otsalira a zochitika zakale?
Mkazi monga iye aliri
Mwinamwake, sayansi ndi luso lamakono akadali kutali kwambiri ndi kupanga zida zotero, zomwe zimagwira ntchito mosavuta. Timatha kuchita zinthu chikwi ndi chimodzi patsiku, pamene tikupeza nthaŵi kwa aliyense ndi chirichonse, kuphunzitsa, kukonza, kukonzekera, kuyeretsa, kutsuka, kumvetsera, kulankhula, ntchito ndi kudandaula kwa onse omwe akutizungulira. Nthawi zonse timadandaula za kusowa kwa nthawi yathu, koma panthawi yomweyi timatenga chinthu china chofunikira. Pazifukwa zina, ana ambiri amadabwa kwambiri akamakhala ndi bambo awo masiku angapo, ndipo panthawiyi, papa samasokonezeka. Ndipo chomwe chiri chochititsa chidwi kwambiri, mukhoza kumva funso lomwelo kuchokera kumbali zonse ziwiri: "Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani ndi izo?" Ngakhale ngati mukuganiza moyenera, mumakhala pamodzi, ndipo mwakuleredwa pamodzi, ndiye bwanji izi zikuchitika? Yankho lake ndi losavuta: "Uyu ndi bambo anga (mwamuna, mwamuna), ndipo amayi anga (mkazi, mkazi) ayenera ...". Ndipo timalekerera mosavuta izi, ndipo nthawi zina timakondwera ndi kudalira kwathu pathu, koma nthawi zina timafuna kusintha chinachake, ngakhale kuti changu chotero chimapita mofulumira, ndikukhala moyo wamba tsiku ndi tsiku.
Poganizira moyo wokhazikika wa mkazi wamba kuyambira pachiyambi mpaka kumapeto, mungathe kuona kutsutsana kwakukulu. Kumbali imodzi, msinkhu wa msinkhu wa amayi ake amamva malangizo, cholinga chake sichibwerezabwereza kulakwitsa kwake kwa unyamata, pamene iye, motsogozedwa momveka bwino ndi amayi ake, "kotero kuti mwamuna wake samathawa," amatenga zonse payekha. Pa nthawi yomweyi, mwanayo amawona chithunzi chonse cha banja ndipo amalowetsa zoyambirira za khalidwe. Pokhala wamkulu, msungwana kamodzi amakhala ndi ufulu wosankha ndi kuchita, koma pazifukwa zina amabwerera ku zomwe zinali, popanda kuyesa kusintha chirichonse. Kodi nafenso tingathe kuyika nkhawa zathu, mavuto ndi ntchito zapakhomo pokhapokha chifukwa timakonda? Kapena ndiye zimatiyendetsa ife pamene timadzitcha tokha tinthu tating'onoting'ono, ndipo panthawi yomweyi timayika pamapewa athu olemetsa. Tiyeni tiganizire injini zathu, nthawi zina ngakhale zosafunikira, kupempha.
Chikondi
Pankhani yosamalira mwamuna wake, mkaziyo amatsogoleredwa ndi chinthu chimodzi - chikondi. Ndikumveka kokongola kuyambira masiku oyambirira kumene kumatikakamiza kuti tipeze udindo wonse payekha, kuyesera kuteteza okondedwa ndi okondedwa a mavuto onse. Koma kawirikawiri changu choterocho chimadutsa malire onse, ndipo chifukwa chake, mwamuna mnyumba nthawi zambiri amapezeka pamlingo woyenderera ndi nyuzipepala, kapena amachita nawo zochitika zake, ndipo mkazi amang'ambika kumbali zonse. Kodi tinkalingalira za banja komanso kusamalira mwamuna wathu? Ndi anthu ochepa omwe angayankhe inde.
Chifukwa china cha kugawikana kwa maudindowa ndiko kukwaniritsa moyo wa banja. Mbaya, mkazi ayenera kuyendetsa zonse kuzungulira mnyumbamo ndikulerera ana, mwamuna wake kupita kuntchito, madzulo onse ali otsimikiza kuti asonkhane chakudya chamadzulo ndipo zonse ziri bwino, zowala ndi zowala, monga mafilimu akale. Koma moyo nthawi zambiri umakhala wochulukirapo, ndipo banja ngati limenelo muyenera kulimbikira. Ndipo pazifukwa zina, amai akufuna kugwira ntchitoyi, poiwala kuti banja liri ndi anthu awiri ndipo njira ya moyo iyenera kugawidwa pawiri. Koma anthu ochepa kuchokera m'masiku oyambirira a ukwati adalingalira pa kufalitsa koteroko. Kotero zimakhala kuti mkazi ndi zolinga zabwino amasamalira mwamuna wake. Iye, kuchoka m'manja osamalira amayi ake m'manja mwa mkazi wake, safunikira kuchita chilichonse chokhudza nyumbayo, ndipo mkaziyo sapempha. Ndi momwe timakhalira ndi chophimba cha pinki, ndipo pamene icho chikusowa, ndichedwa kwambiri kuchita ndi kusintha chinachake.
Kapena mwinamwake palimodzi?
Cholinga cha moyo wachimwemwe wa banja - pamene sikuti mkazi yekha amaganizira za mwamuna wake, koma nthawi yomweyo amamva nkhawa. Ikhoza kudziwonetsera yokha mwa zochepa chabe, koma zimakhala zosavuta kuti mkazi akhale ndi moyo. Ndibwino kuti muzoloŵe mwamuna wanu ku mgwirizano wokhudzana ndi moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku muzaka zoyambirira zaukwati, chifukwa ndiye malamulo okhazikika ndi ovuta kusintha.
Zoonadi, izo zimakhala zochitika mmoyo mwathu, pamene mwamuna amakhala mbuye wabwino m'nyumba, ndipo mzimayi nthawi ino amapanga ntchito, kapena samachita kalikonse. Koma izi ndizosiyana ndi lamulo. Kawirikawiri, zimakhala zachilendo kuti amayi azidandaula ngati mwamuna amadya zomwe akuvala, pamene adzakhala, momwe akumvera, komanso nthawi yomweyo akuyembekezera kubwerera kwinakwake mu moyo wake ndikupitirizabe kusamalira, ngakhale kuti palibe.
Chifukwa chake, amayi okondedwa, ziribe kanthu kuti simunali wachikondi, mwachidwi kuti simungathe kuteteza mavuto anu pa zovuta zonse zapakhomo, ganizirani za amene mukufuna m'tsogolomu, mwana kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi amene mungathe kudalira mulimonsemo, kupeza chithandizo ndi kuthandizira mmenemo.
Ndikuganiza kuti ambiri, akufuna kuti awone thandizo la mkazi, choncho musataye nthawi pachabe chifukwa cha zifukwa zambiri, chifukwa chake sakanatha. Kumbukirani, ngati mungathe, ndiye chifukwa chiyani wina sangathe? Ngati mumakwanitsa kukhala mkazi, mayi, wogwira ntchito, ndi mbuye, mutha kufunsa kuti mwamuna kapena mkaziyo achite ntchito zomwezo. Ndiye ndiye kuti chisamaliro chanu chiyamikiridwa mwa ulemu.