Choyamba, pa msinkhu uliwonse, kugonana kumaphatikizapo ndi phindu pokhudzana ndi maganizo ndi thanzi la munthuyo. Anthu achikulire ali ndi chikhumbo chokhala paubwenzi weniweni. Zina mwa maubwenzi apamtima mu ukalamba ayenera kudziwa.
Kusintha pang'ono mwa kugonana ndi msinkhu sikungakhale ndi zotsatira zabwino zogonana. Amuna amafunika nthawi yochulukirapo kuti apite kumtunda, kutsegulira, komanso kukonzedwa kungakhale kosavuta komanso kovuta. Azimayi amatha kusintha - akhoza kuchepetsa kutsika kwa umaliseche ndi kuuma. Nthawi imeneyi ikuphatikizapo kuchepa kwa chiwerewere. Musati muwopsyeze, chifukwa ndi ukalamba izo ziri mwamwambo mwachibadwa. Ndikofunika kuti muzolowere kusintha kumeneku ndikuphunzirani kuvomereza mnzanuyo nokha monga momwe muliri.
Chinthu chabwino kwambiri chimene mungachite pa nkhaniyi ndi kukondana, kusonyeza kukhulupirirana ndi kulemekezana. Perekani chithandizo chamumtima kwa mnzanuyo, tonthozani wina ndi mzake ngati simukupeza zinthu monga poyamba, muzogonana. Musaiwale kuti kupsinjika maganizo ndi mantha kungapangitsenso mavuto a kugonana. Ndipo musabise maganizo anu kwa mnzanuyo. Lankhulani za mavuto omwe adayamba, mwabwino komanso mwaulemu. Musalole kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mukhale ndi mtima wolakwa.
Kumbukirani kuti kugonana ndi kulowa mkati ndi njira imodzi yokha yosinthira kugonana. Pali njira zambiri. Fufuzani ndikupeza zina, njira zatsopano kuti mukhale okhutira. Ukalamba uliwonse uli woyenera kuchotsa zonyansa komanso zachizolowezi m'moyo wogonana. Mukhoza kuyesa njira zatsopano, zatsopano. Mfundo yokakamiza yofunika kwambiri mu gawo lapamtima ndi yakuti zonsezi ziyenera kuyanjidwa ndipo zofunikira zonse ziyenera kuyanjanitsidwa ndi kuvomerezana.
Mwazinthu zina, kupsompsona, mawu achikondi ndi chikondi pa msinkhu uliwonse, makamaka mu msinkhu wokalamba, nthawi zonse adzakhala maziko a ubale wapamtima. Anthu ambiri ali ndi zophweka, zooneka ngati zinthu, monga mawu achikondi ndi achifundo omwe amatchulidwa pa masewera achiwerewere, zimabweretsa chisangalalo ndi zosangalatsa.
Lankhulani momasuka ndi mopanda mantha zomwe mukufuna pa nthawi ina. Mukawonetsa wokondedwa wanu malingaliro awo, malingaliro ndi malingaliro awo, zimakhala zothandiza pa kugonana ndipo zimathandiza kuti muzisangalala kwambiri. Komabe, muzinthu zonse muyenera kuyang'ana kutanthauza golidi, musamangoganizira kwambiri izi ndi kutsagana ndemanga ndi kusuntha kwa mnzanuyo. Pankhaniyi, zimangomupatsa chisangalalo.
Chifukwa chakuti nthawi zina zidzakhala zovuta kubwerera kumbuyo kwa chiwerewere, musayime ubwenzi wapamtima kwa nthawi yaitali. Nkhani yabwino ndi yakuti, muzilombo za abambo ndi amai okalamba, testosterone ya mahomoni, yomwe imayambitsa zokopa za kugonana, idakali zaka zambiri.
Kukhudzidwa ndi kugonana mu ukalamba sikunachepe kwambiri. Ndipo ichi ndichizolowezi. Koma musaiwale kuti kuchepa kwa kugonana kungayambitsenso ndi matenda a mitsempha ya mitsempha, matenda a mahomoni, kufooka kwakukulu, mankhwala osiyanasiyana ochizira matenda opatsirana kwambiri, ndi zina zotero. Zingakhale bwino kwa inu ngati mufunsira katswiri wa chiwerewere kapena dokotala wa banja.
Nkhani yokhudzana ndi kugonana pakati pa anthu okalamba ndi okalamba yakula mofulumira zaka makumi khumi zapitazi, vutoli ladziwika kuti ndi lofunikira ndipo, chifukwa chake, maphunziro ena okhudzana ndi chiwerewere pakati pa anthu omwe adutsa choletsedwa cha zaka 50 achitika. Anafunsanso amuna ndi akazi a m'badwo uno. Chifukwa cha kafukufuku, mfundo zochititsa chidwi zinawululidwa, ponseponse pokhutira kugonana komwe analandira ndi kudalira chisangalalo pa njira zina mwa anthu pambuyo pa 50.
Mwachitsanzo, anthu omwe adakwanitsa kupeza "zabwino" kapena "zabwino" kuyankhulana ndi anzawo omwe ali ndi moyo ali ndi zaka 50 anali okondwa kwambiri.
Komabe, maanja omwe ali ndi ndalama zapamwamba sapeza chimwemwe chokhudzana ndi chikoka chogonana kusiyana ndi okwatirana amene ali ndi ndalama zochepa.
Komanso panthawi yafukufuku zinawonekeratu kuti amuna ndi akazi ambiri 50 ndi akulu, amakhulupirira kuti ukwati wawo unali wokondwa, ankasangalala ndi kugonana ndi mabanja awo. Zinthu monga nthawi zambiri zogonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, chiwerengero cha chitonthozo pokambirana nkhani zogonana, komanso momwe okwatirana akusangalalira ndizofunikira.
Malingana ndi zotsatira za kafukufukuyo, zinapezeka kuti moyo wa kugonana ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri muukwati, monga momwe amanenera amuna ndi akazi okondwa komanso osasangalala. Pa nthawi yomweyi, amayi ambiri okwatirana omwe sanaganizire za ukwati wawo, adakondwera kuti kusonyeza kugonana ndi malo ofunika kwambiri m'banja. Ichi chinakhala chofunikira kwambiri mu moyo wosasangalala wa akazi muukwati pafupifupi pafupifupi maphunziro onse.
Ngakhale kuti amuna ndi akazi anafunsidwa kuti akhale osakhulupirika, komabe 23% mwa amuna ndi 8% a akazi amavomereza za "msonkhano" umodzi kapena umodzi kunja kwa banja pambuyo pa zaka 50. Deta yotereyi ndi yofunika kwa iwo omwe sanawononge banja chifukwa cha bukuli pambali. Ziwerengero zina zimasonyeza kuti amayi 80% ndi amayi 60% pa moyo wawo waukwati amasintha wokondedwa wawo kamodzi. Malingana ndi kafukufuku amene achitidwa ku England, theka la amayi omwe anafunsidwa amakhala ndi chigololo kamodzi. Ndipo izi zilibe kanthu kuti amayi a Chingerezi amatengedwa kuti ndi "ozizira".
Monga momwe kafukufuku amasonyezera, kuchuluka kwa kugonana mu ukalamba, ntchito ndi chisangalalo cha kugonana sikungakhale ndi zotsatira zabwino kwambiri pavuto la thanzi. Komabe, amuna ndi akazi adapitirizabe kugonana komanso ankakonda kugonana, ngakhale kuti chifukwa cha matenda, zovuta zina zimawoneka kuti sizingatheke. Izi zinali choncho pamene okwatirana anali okonda kugonana komanso asanamwalire.