Amayi ena, amatha kupulumuka chilakolako ndi malingaliro okha ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi banja. Tiyeni tiyesetse kumvetsa chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika, ndi momwe angakhalire ndi mkazi, ngati mwamuna wokwatiwa amamupatsa chibwenzi.
Kodi ndi wopunduka kapena woganiza bwino?
N'zosadabwitsa kuti amayi ambiri samayesedwa kuti akhale ambuye okwatira. Izi ziri ndi tanthauzo lake lopatulika. Akazi ambiri mwachidziwitso amamva bwino chiyembekezo cha ubale ndi uyu kapena munthu uja. Kotero ambiri a iwo alibe malingaliro okhudza kugonana kwaumunthu kokhudzana ndi ambuye. Monga kafukufuku m'masewero a maganizo, chikondi cha katatu, chomwe chiri ndi mwamuna, mkazi ndi mbuye, sichikhazikika, chodzaza masewero ndi zovuta zapadera kwa onse atatu.
Amakhulupirira kuti njira yodalirika yothetsera mgwirizano wachitatu ndi kupanga chisankho cha munthu amene ali mmenemo mwaumodzi. Pa nthawi imene mwamuna wina amakumana ndi akazi awiri, ndi yekhayo amene amatha kuswa katatu ya chikondi mwa njira yabwino kwambiri. Kuti achite izi, ayenera kusankha yemwe angakhale naye. Zochitika ngati zimenezi m'moyo weniweni ndizosowa. Ndipotu, katatu kondomeko imagwera chifukwa chakuti mmodzi wa akazi samayimilira ndikusiya. Kapena, izo zimachitika kawirikawiri, onse amakhala osakhulupirika kwa wokondedwa, koma palibe wokonzeka kuchoka. Pankhani iyi, ubale wa atatu ukhoza kukoka. Ndipo patapita nthawi, vuto lalikulu la maganizo limalandiridwa ndi amayi komanso mwamuna.
Ndi chifukwa chake akazi oganiza amayesetsa kuti asagwirizane ndi amuna okwatirana. Sikudziwika ngati zingatheke kupambana chikondi chawo, koma n'zotheka kupeza mavuto ndi pafupifupi pafupifupi zana limodzi.
Chifukwa chiyani amuna okwatira akhala akunyengerera
Akatswiri opatsirana pogonana ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti amanyengerera, makamaka amisala. Inde, pali zosiyana, pamene munthu wamba wopanda mavuto apadera ndi maganizo, amapeza ambuye. Komabe, maganizo a amuna ndi omwe, monga lamulo, ngati mwamuna ali ndi ubale wathanzi, wathanzi, wachikondi ndi wachibale wake, sangawononge nthawi pazolakwika. Chiyanjano chikawoneka mu ubale, amayamba kuganiza za chiwembu. Amuna ndi osakwana akazi, okonzeka kugwira ntchito pa ubale. Ndipo ngati ali ndi kusamvana ndi mkazi wawo, akhoza kuyesa kupeza munthu womvetsetsa. Angathe shlestnutsya ndi abwenzi akale ndikuyamba kutsanulira mavuto awo ndi vinyo kapena kuyesa kuti achoke nawo mu zolaula monga kuwedza kapena kukumba nthawi zonse m'galimoto. Koma amatha kupita njira zowonjezereka - kupeza ambuye. Kawirikawiri, amuna samakonza zoti achoke m'banja. Iwo ali omasuka: kunyumba - yokonzedweratu moyo, ana okonzekera bwino ndi zina, chizolowezi, moyenera ndi kukhazikika. Ndipo mbuyeyo akhoza pokorolesit, tengani mtima wanu, mugwedeze masiku akale. Kotero zimakhala kuti alibe cholinga chapadera chokhudza mbuye wawo. Pali chikhumbo chokha chopeza kuchokera ku moyo zomwe zikusoweka m'banja.
Nchifukwa chiyani akazi amakumana ndi amuna okwatira?
Monga taonera kale, sikuti mkazi aliyense adzapita kukakangana ndi mkazi wokwatira. Kawirikawiri, amayi osungulumwa, otopa kwambiri omwe amadziona kuti ndi osungulumwa amabwera kuno. Nthawi zina ndi amayi amene, chifukwa cha zochitika zina, amawopa maubwenzi apamtima ndi anthu. Kukhalapo kwa banja mu osankhidwa kumamuteteza iye ku ubwenzi wapamtima kwambiri ndi mwamuna. Amamverera kuti ali ndi malingaliro chabe, ndipo amatsimikizira kuti ndizochitika kunja, osati chifukwa cholephera kukonda. Kawirikawiri, mkazi amalephera kugwirizana ndi mwamuna wokwatirana ndi chidziwitso chopambana cha ubale wake kapena lingaliro limene analandira kuchokera kwa makolo kuti anthu onse sali oyenerera kwa iye.
Malingaliro aumunthu pokhudzana ndi ambuye, omwe akuphatikizana ndi kugonana popanda kukakamizidwa, zikhoza kukhala zoyenera. Kuti ulemekezedwe ufulu wa kusankha munthu woterowo, mantha ndi kusatetezeka kwa zokopa zako zingabisike.
Ndiyenera kunena izi, ndikuyenda m'njira ya bukuli ndi wokwatirana, mkaziyo amangowonjezera mavuto ake. Kuchita chiwerewere kwa nthawi zonse, kufotokozera umunthu wanu kumayipitsa kudzidalira kwa mkazi. Pali bwalo loipa: nthawi yayitali yomwe amakumana ndi wokwatira, kuchepetsa kudzidalira. Ndipo pansipa kudzidalira, mwayi wochepa wa ubale wabwino ndi munthu waufulu, wofunitsitsa kumupatsa ubale wokhazikika ndi wamuyaya.
Zonsezi zikuwonjezeredwa ndi zomwe zimachitika kunja kwa chilengedwe. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti palibe amene amatsutsa mbuye wa mwamuna wake. Ndipotu, nthawi zambiri amapezeka kuti ndi munthu wa "osayamika" mu mabwenzi ndi achibale ake osankhidwa. Ndipo ngati nkhaniyo yagwira ntchito, mbuyeyo angakhalenso chinthu chotonzedwa kwa anzake omwe mwachiwonekere sakulimbikitsa ntchito yomanga ntchito.
Zomwe mungachite ngati mukumverera kwa wokwatira
Ngakhale kuti chikhalidwe cha munthu wokwatirana ndi chodabwitsa, munthu sayenera kukana chikondi chake. Chikondi sikumverera komwe tingathe kulamulira. Kawirikawiri zimachitika mu moyo wathu motsutsana ndi chifuniro chathu, sizowoneka kuti miyambi ndi nthabwala zimakonda kwambiri "chikondi cha zoipa ..."
Ngati mukupeza kuti mukuvutika maganizo ndi munthu wokwatirana, choyamba muyenera kuphunzira mkhalidwewo. Zoona zake n'zakuti tsopano anthu akhala akusavuta kuchita zinthu zolembera ndi kusudzulana. Ngati banja lake liripo pamapepala, mukhoza kuiwala bwinobwino zonsezi pamwamba ndikuponyera mutu. Khalani tcheru: musamakhulupirire mwakachetechete mawu a munthuyo mwiniyo, fufuzani zambiri za "chikhalidwe" cha banja lake kudzera mwa anzanu, achibale ndi odziwa.
Ngati banja lake linali lolimba ndipo "sali kupuma kwambiri," monga akunenera, yesetsani kuchita zonse kuti muteteze ubale umenewu. Pezani nthawi yolankhulirana, ngati mutagwirira ntchito limodzi, yesetsani kusakumana kuntchito. Tenga tchuthi ndikukhala mwezi kutali. Khalani ndi luso popewera bukuli, ndipo mutha kukhala ndi mwayi womanga ubale weniweni ndi wodalirika ndi ena, abwino komanso odalirika.