Pambuyo pa chisudzulo, amayi ena amavomereza mokwanira kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale. Zifukwa zikuluzikulu za khalidweli lachikazi zimatengedwa ngati chizoloŵezi, kukhutira kugonana, kapena kungowonjezera kumverera. Zofunikanso zokhudzana ndi chiwerengero cha amayi, zomwe ndi 30 peresenti ya amayi omwe ali kale muukwati, amayamba kugonana ndi mwamuna wawo wakale, kuwatcha "ntchito zachikondi kuyambira kale." Mwa njira, kugonana kwabwino nthawi zina kungathe kulapa ntchito. Ndipo, choyamba, izo zidzakhala limodzi ndi mkhalidwe wamtima waumtima ndi chisoni kwa achibale ako, abwenzi ndipo makamaka mwamuna watsopano.
Zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimamukakamiza mkazi kuti agone naye mwamuna wakale:
Okwatirana kale amakondana wina ndi mzake, ndipo mikangano yomwe imayambitsa kuthetsa kugonana ndi njira yothetsera vuto la kusagwirizana mu mgwirizano wawo.
Pa mtima wa chikwati chakale chinali kugonana kokha, chifukwa chaichi chifukwa chake chiyanjano ndi wokwatirana naye ndi gawo lalikulu la chiyanjano, ngakhale ngakhale kusudzulana.
Ndili ndi mwamuna watsopano, mkaziyo samamva kuti ali ndi chilakolako komanso chilakolako chomwe anali nacho ndi mkazi wake wakale ndipo chifukwa chake, mayiyo akumva kukhumba kwake.
Mkazi akuuziridwa ndi chikhumbo chokhala chikondi cha munthu aliyense payekha.
Ukwati watsopano ndi kulakwitsa, ndicho chifukwa chake cholinga chachikulu ndicho kubwezeretsa ukwati wakale, womwe ukuoneka kuti uli bwino.
Kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale kumamuthandiza mkazi kukhala ndi chidaliro cholimba komanso osasamala, mosiyana ndi kugonana ndi mwamuna watsopano.
Kawirikawiri, mayiyo, yemwe amakhutira ndi banja latsopano, amamanga kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale chifukwa cha kugonana ndi mwadzidzidzi kwa iye, zomwe sizikutha ndi nthawi ndipo zimasonkhanitsa kutembenuka kwatsopano. Kuwonjezera apo, polowetsanso kugonana ndi wokwatirana naye, mkaziyo saganizira kuti izi ndi zosakhulupirika. Inde, ndipo mwamuna watsopanoyo, ataphunzira za zomwe zikuchitika, pa mitala ya mkaziyo nthawi zambiri amatseka maso ake.
Zabwino kapena zoipa?
Koma chirichonse chomwe chiri, kugonana ndi wokwatirana kale kungabweretse vuto losasinthika ku banja latsopano. Pambuyo pake, funso likuyamba apa kuti ngati mkazi amakhala ndi ziwonetsero zapitazo, kodi amayembekezera chiyani kuchokera pachibwenzi chatsopano ndipo kodi amafunikiradi? Ndichifukwa chake musanamange banja latsopano, muyenera kuganizira za chiyanjano choyamba, kudziwa "zonse" ndi "minuses" za zomwe zinalipo ndi zomwe zidzakhala. Pomwepo tingathe kunena kuti, ndikofunikira kwambiri kugonana ndi kale, zomwe zimachokera ku zokhudzana ndi maganizo akale kapena moyo kuchokera kumalo oyera. Chabwino, ngati izi zakhala zikuchitika ndipo mkaziyo akuyankhulana ndi yemwe kale adali naye, ndipo wosankhidwa watsopanoyo amadziwa za izi, apa ndikofunikira kuthetsa vutoli mwa kukambirana momasuka pakati pa okwatirana.
Chofunika kwambiri pa kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale
Ubale wapamtima ndi mwamuna wamwamuna wakale umachokera ku mavuto ambuyomu, omwe adayamba mu moyo wa banja ndi maganizo awiri a anthu omwe sanamvere. Iwo sankakhoza kulimbana ndi chizoloŵezi cha tsiku ndi tsiku ndi moyo, osapeza kuti amvetsetsa, anabalalitsa kusiya kugonana kokha. Palibe cholakwika ndi chakuti mkazi amakumana ndi chibwenzi chogonana ndi yemwe kale anali wokonda kokha ngati atha kumugwira mtima. Koma chirichonse chimene inu mukunena, kwa akazi ambiri izi ndi zamkhutu zonse.
Bwererani kwa ine, chikondi changa!
Pali amayi omwe amakhulupirira kuti akadzabweranso kwa amzake awo akale adzabwezeretsa chikondi chawo chakale, kuyambira pachiyambi. Koma, mwatsoka, anthu ochepa amatha kugonana. Choncho, pofuna kubwezeretsa ubale ndi wokwatirana naye, kugonana ndikofunika kuchita zambiri kuposa chizolowezi. Komanso, kuzindikira za zolakwitsa zakale, kusanthula zochitika zonse, chisamaliro cha munthu wokwera mtengo - izi zonse zimathandiza kuwotcha moto woyambirira. Kumbukirani kuti kuthetsa vuto sikutanthauza kuchotsa izo. Ndipo kawirikawiri ndikuyenera kuzindikira kuti mkazi wosudzulana, monga lamulo, amayamikira ufulu watsopano, koma kusowa kwa amuna ndizovuta. Chifukwa chaichi, kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale kumathandiza kupulumutsa ukwatiwo, kuupatsa chidwi, kukondweretsa ndi kulimbitsa.