Munthu wotere sadzakuitanirani kuti mukwatire. Ndi waulesi kwambiri kuti ayimbire nambala yanu ndipo afunse momwe bizinesi yanu ilili. Nthawi zambiri amamuimbira kamodzi pamwezi ndipo amangotchula nthawi yomwe akufuna. Koma osamva mawu ake mu chubu, mumaponyera chirichonse ndikufulumizitsa. Ndipo mmawa wotsatira mumadzifunsa funso ili: "Chifukwa chiyani zonsezi?" Ngakhale zitakhala zomveka kufunsa kuti: "Chifukwa chiyani?"
Zokakamizika
"Misala yachikondi", "matenda achikondi", "kukonzekera kwambiri" - m'dziko la psychotherapy palinso mawu khumi ndi awiri, mothandizidwa ndi zomwe zingatheke kutchula chinthu chodabwitsa monga chida chokhudza mkazi kwa mwamuna. Azimayi ambiri, matendawa amawoneka ngakhale ali aang'ono ndipo nthawi zambiri amachiritsidwa mofulumira kwambiri. Tili ndi vuto lalikulu, koma lofunika kwambiri, ife, monga lamulo, takhala ndi chitetezo chamoyo kuti tisakhale ndi thanzi labwino.
Koma m'dziko lathu lapansi, ndikudandaula kwambiri, mungathe kukumana ndi omwe amatchedwa ozunzidwa kwamuyaya omwe angathe kuthera pa "munthu wolakwika" kwa zaka zoposa chimodzi za moyo wake. Mwa njira, chodziwikiratu ndi chakuti sangathe kuwerengera zikwi chimodzi. Malingana ndi chiwerengero, 23% mwa kugonana kwabwino komwe amakhala mumzinda waukulu sanakwatiranepo. Awo 11% mwa zaka zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri za moyo wake anakhala mwamuna yemwe, ngakhale mu lingaliro, sankayenera kumangidwa ndi ukwati. Inde, amayiwa ndi ovuta kwambiri kunena kuti chiwerengero chachinyengo. Mwa iwo, palibe amene anayesa kuphunzitsa ziyembekezo zabodza. Podziwa kuti palibe vutoli, iwo amatha kudzipangira okha chifukwa chothandizira ndime imodzi yokha: "Sindingasinthe chilichonse ndipo sindingathe kudzithandiza! Kodi ndikukoka bwanji nsalu, ngati maginito ena obisika! Ndipo ndi iye yekha ndingathe kupeza chisangalalo chosakumbukika! ". Mosasamala kanthu za choonadi cha mawu awa, akazi oterewa amakanidwa mokwanira amuna onse oyenera komanso oyenera.
Kawirikawiri, amuna awa ali ndi mawonekedwe osiyana, koma mkazi amapeza mwachitsulo chapadera, chomwe chimayamba kukopa ndikukoka. Mbali yaikulu yomwe imagwirizanitsa onse awa omwe amaimira "mtundu" umodzi - chiwerewere, kutengeka kwa zero pamaso, chisamaliro ndi kukhutitsidwa kwathunthu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, chosiyana kwenikweni ndi otchedwa "abwino" anyamata. Ndichomwe chimakopa mkazi. Kuwonjezera apo, zimakhala zovuta kuti munthu wotero asungidwe kapena kukopeka ndi kugonana, komanso lingaliro lakuti "wina, osati ine ndikugona ndi nthawi yake ..." amangondipenga ine. Pambuyo pa msonkhano uliwonse, iwe, pamodzi ndi chisangalalo chosasangalatsa, umamva chipululu chamtchire ndi lingaliro la zosadziwika, ndipo kodi msonkhano wanu udzabwererenso? Iyi ndi dzenje lakuda - pamene achoka kapena chimwemwe pamapeto pake - pamene akuwonekera mwadzidzidzi. Pamene mukufuna, simungathe kumusokoneza, kapena kuti mutha kukukhumudwitsani, koma atangozidzimva, mumaiwala zonse. Ndipo ngakhale mutadzibwereza nokha kuti izi sizingatheke, simungathe kukana mobwerezabwereza ... Pazifukwa zonsezi, msonkhano uyenera kukhala nawo nthawi yosatha, ndipo poyankha funso lakuti "Ndi liti tidzakumana naye?" Iye amangokhalira kudula mapewa ake. Ndipo thupi lanu likulira chifukwa cha iye. Ichi ndi chizoloŵezi chathunthu chogonana, chomwe chimamangidwa pa mfundo ya phindu.
Phindu
Mwa amayi, monga lamulo, kugonana sikungatheke kuzimverera. Kukopa kosalephereka kumakhala ndi malingaliro amalingaliro. Choyamba ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zofunika kwambiri - poyang'ana poyamba, munthu wamba akugwirizana kwathunthu ndi chithunzi cha macho enieni, omwe mumayimirira mobwerezabwereza m'maganizo anu. Kumbukirani, mawu, zochita, manja amamasulidwa. Ndiwo mawu achinsinsi kwa mtima wanu. Iwe pa chiwerengero cha chikumbumtima chiyembekeza kuti iwe udzakhala "utapezeka". Koposa zonse, chilakolako chimenechi chimatengera mphamvu panthawi yachisoni, pomwe pambuyo pawindo, komanso pamtima, onse amamizidwa ndi zida zoyera. Koma pali ngozi yoti mwangozi fungulo lidzatenga munthu wolakwika amene mukufunikiradi. Ndipo chotsekeracho chidzasintha, ndipo nthawi zambiri mumakhala mutangokhalira kupsinjika.
Tsiku lina, akatswiri a zamaganizo anayamba kuchita nkhanza ndi nudes. Gulu lina la zinyama silinanyalanyazedwe: ziphuphu zinkagwiritsidwa ntchito nthawi zonse. Zina - palibe amene anasiya. Lachitatu, mvetserani, ndiye ayi. Anamwali a gulu lachitatu adayamba kugwirizana kwambiri ndi eni ake.
Anthu amtundu uwu sakhala patali ndi ana aang'ono awa. Kusamba mosiyana, komwe kumatchedwa psychology pakusewera "pafupi" ndiko njira yabwino yodzimangira wokondedwa. Makamaka ngati zokambiranazo zokhudzana ndi zamunthu komanso osadzikhulupirira kwathunthu. Pa bedi, chisangalalo ndi champhamvu kwambiri kuposa chiyanjano ndi kutsika kwa kutentha. Ndipo chifukwa cha zisangalalo zosayembekezereka, mwakonzeka kuvutika ndi kupweteka kopweteketsa. Kudzipatula ku singaliro la maganizo kumapangitsanso inshuwalansi ya zomwe mwadzidzidzi munthu wina sangakhale paradaiso.
Mwa njira, akazi amayamba kukhala ochuluka kusiyana ndi amuna kuti azidziimba mlandu chifukwa cha ubale wawo. Pano "wophunzira wopambana kwambiri" akuyamba kugwira ntchito: zonse ziyenera kukhala 5+. Koma pa nthawi ya zolakwa, mayeserowa amatengedwa. Mphunzitsi wodalirika ndi munthu pano ndipo sangathe kuchitidwa mwanjira ina iliyonse koma sangakupatseni mpira wokwera kwambiri wofanana ndi mawu akuti "Ndidzakhala iwe!". Pokhapokha pa nthawi yachibwenzi mumawona kuti zonse zatha ndipo ndi zanu zokha. Ndipotu, mukulakwitsa, koma kusintha chinthu si nthawi yokha, komanso chikhumbo. Ndipo kodi izi zimachokera kuti, ngati zonse zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo zimawonongedwa kuti zidikire kusungulumwa?
Chipulumutso
Kuti mubweretse chigwirizano cha kugonana, muyenera kuzindikira - uvass sungasinthe wokondedwa. Ndipo iye alibe chidwi kwenikweni ndi chinachake chomwe chasintha mu ubale wanu - chirichonse chikumuyenerera! Koma mukusowa thandizo pa choonadi. Ndizo zomwe akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza kuti:
Palibe chifukwa choyesera kumangiriza iye . Mzimayi, zimadalira, ali wokonzeka kutuluka mkati kuti amunyengere mwamuna. Iye amakhulupirira ndi mtima wake wonse kuti ngati atachita chirichonse chimene akufuna, icho chidzasintha mkhalidwe wonsewo. Tsoka, njira iyi ndi yopanda ntchito komanso yoipa, mwamunayo amadziwika kuti amachoka ndi chirichonse.
Simukufunika kutenga nawo mbali masewera . Maziko ophatikizana ndi zosiyana-siyana-masewera ena oyankhulana omwe ntchito zonse zimagawidwa. Inu, mwinamwake, munapatsidwa udindo wa kapolo wodekha, yemwe angakhoze kulangidwa ndiyeno nkukhululukidwa. Osachepera chifukwa cha chidwi ndikuyesera kuswa.
Khalani kutali ndi mbedza . N'zovuta kukana mankhwala osokoneza bongo, ngati nthawi zonse amakhala pafupi. Siyani mzindawo pa nthawi. Mmodzi. Kumeneko, kumene mungakumane ndi munthu watsopano. Choyamba, chotsani matendawa. Lekani kuganizira za mavuto ndikudzipangira nokha. Ndipo pamene mubwerera, musayang'ane misonkhano ndi "matenda" anu.
"Ponyani" kuchokera padenga . Njira ya Kumadzuloyi imayesedwa njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vutoli. Wachibwibwi kuchokera ku dongo la msilikali wanu, ndiye mmodzi amachoka kumapazi ake onse (kuphatikizapo iyi), ndipo pang'onopang'ono mumaponyera pamwamba. Pa nthawi ino, walumbira mokweza. Pambuyo pa ndondomeko yotereyi, amati, kudalira kumafuna moyo.