Ubwenzi ndikumverera kofunika kwambiri. Zimachokera pafupifupi maubwenzi onse m'miyoyo yathu. Koma kodi ndi bwino kukhala bwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda?
Chikondi chapakati
Kuti muyankhule pa mutu uwu, muyenera kugawanitsa ubwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu m'magulu awiri: pamene amakukondani komanso akamakuganizirani ngati bwenzi lanu basi. Tiyeni tiyambe ndi gulu loyamba.
Ngati mukukumana ndi wokondedwa wanu, ndiye kuti, ubwenzi ndiwo wokhazikika ku ubale wanu. Zoona zake n'zakuti bwenzi ndi munthu amene timamukhulupirira ndipo amatha kuchita zinthu mosamala pamene akulakwitsa. Mwatsoka, izi sizikwanira pa ubale wa awiriwa. Zikuwoneka kuti pali chikondi ndi chilakolako, koma kulibe kokwanira kokhulupirira ndi kumvetsetsa. Ndipo zonse chifukwa anthu sangakhale abwenzi. Kawirikawiri, amanena kuti maanja abwino kwambiri amapezeka kwa anzanu apamtima. Ndipo ndi zoona. Delov ndikuti poyamba poyamba mwamuna ndi mkazi ali abwenzi, amadziwana bwino. Tisanayambe kuyesa kuti tiwoneke bwino kuposa ife, tibiseni zolakwika zathu ndi zina zotero. Ndi mabwenzi omwe nthawi zambiri anthu amawulula momveka bwino miyoyo yawo. Choncho, pamene chidziwitso champhamvu chimatha pakati pa abwenzi a kugonana mosiyana, zimakhala zosavuta kuti apange mgwirizano. Iwo amadziwa kale zomwe ayenera kuyembekezera kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, yemwe akufuna chomwecho ndi zina zotero. Koma pamene anthu sanali abwenzi, nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti pakapita nthawi amakhumudwitsirana wina ndi mzake, chifukwa poyamba adayesetsa kwambiri kuti asonyeze zomwe akufuna, koma pamene chiyanjanocho chinayamba kukula, kufunika kwa izo kunkawoneka ngati kutha, ndipo , kuti wokondedwayo ali ndi zofooka zambiri, zomwe zimakhala zovuta kuyanjanitsa.
Ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi yemwe amakumana kapena wokwatira ndi wofunikira komanso wofunikira. Choncho, nthawi zonse muyenera kuyesetsa kukhala mwana wanu, osati mkazi wokondedwa, komanso bwenzi labwino. Atsikana ambiri, komanso anyamata, akudandaula kuti magawo awo akubisa chinachake ndi kugawana ndi abwenzi awo, koma atenge. Izi sizosadabwitsa, chifukwa bwenzi limatha kumvetsera mwachidwi, limasonyeza, osakhumudwitsidwa ndi "kupopera ntchentche ku njovu." Munthu wotchuka wa Avot m'malo mwake amakwiya, amapanga scandals, atulukira chinachake, chimene kwenikweni sichitero ndi zina zotero. Bwenzi limatha kunena mosasangalatsa chisangalalo chake ndi khalidwe lake, ndipo kambiranani momveka bwino ndikuopa kuti adzasiya misonzi, ndikukuuzani kuti mudzagawana. Ndipo theka lachiwiri lingathe kuchita monga chonchi.
Kotero, ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi ubale wathanzi ndi wodalirika pakati pa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu, phunzirani kukhala bwenzi lake. Kumbukirani kuti ali ndi malo ake enieni. Musaiwale kuti iye ndi munthu wamoyo, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti iye sali woyenera, monga aliyense wa ife. Yesetsani kuyang'ana pazochita zake mopanda nzeru ndipo musaganize kuti akukuchitirani zonse. Ndizo zomwe abwenzi amachitira, ngati ziridi zabwino, zenizeni.
Munthu aliyense amafunikira mnzanu wokhulupirika ndi wodalirika, akhoza kugawana zonse, popanda mantha kuti samumvetsa, adzatsutsa akubawo. Ndipo ngati kwa wokondedwa mnzanu woteroyo akukhala chimodzimodzi, ndiye kuti ubale udzakhala "asanu pamodzi". Sadzayenera kusokoneza chirichonse, monga adziwira kuti mumamvetsa ndikumuthandiza. Adzakhala ndi nthawi yochuluka ndi inu ndipo nthawi zambiri amatenga abwenzi ake ku kampaniyo, popeza angathe kulankhula nawe. Kumbukirani kuti chilakolako sichikhala ndi moyo kosatha. Kumayambiriro kapena mochedwa kumakhala kochepa, ndipo ngati palibe chibwenzi ndi kuthandizana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, maubwenzi amatha.
Chikondi chosagwirizana
Mkhalidwe wosiyana pang'ono umachitika pamene munthu wina ali waubwenzi ndipo winayo amakonda. Pankhaniyi, choyamba, muyenera kusankha ngati mungathe kukhala bwenzi lenileni la wokondedwa wanu, mosasamala kanthu kuti adzatsirizika ndi inu kapena ayi. Kusiyana ndi aliyense ali ndi mtima wabwino ndi mitsempha yamphamvu kuti ayang'ane ngati chiyanjano chomanga nyumba ndi wina. Choncho, palibe chowopsya komanso cholakwika kuti tipewe ubwenzi ndi wokondedwa. Ngati iye akufuna kuti inu mukhale bwinoko, ndiye chirichonse chidzamvetsedwa. Chowonadi ndi chakuti ubwenzi wotero kwa ambiri ndi mwala weniweni, womwe sulola kuti uzipitirirabe. Munthu nthawi zonse amakhulupirira kuti sadzawoneka ngati bwenzi osati kuyesa kumanga moyo wake. Pamapeto pake, amangokhala mumthunzi wa wokondedwa komanso voobscheene akuganiza za tsogolo lake.
Pamene mukuyesera kukhala bwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, ganizirani ngati simungasokoneze ubale ndi ena. Anthu ena, pogwiritsa ntchito ubwenzi wawo, amayamba kukonza okondedwa awo, kuwononga maubwenzi awo ndi ena ndi zina zotero. Si zachilendo. Ngati mumakondadi munthu, msiyeni apite ndikukhala moyo wanu, ngati simungathe kuyang'ana chimwemwe chake ndi ena. Apo ayi, sipadzakhala mtendere kwa iye, ndivam. Adzavutika chifukwa moyo wake sumawonjezera, koma mudzayamba kudziunjikira mkwiyo ndi kukwiya chifukwa chakuti akukuonanibe ngati bwenzi lanu.
Inde, pali anthu omwe amaika chimwemwe cha wokondedwa wawo pamwamba pa zowawa ndi zowawa zawo. Pankhaniyi, mungathe. Pokhapokha muyenera kudzizoloŵera nokha kuti wokondedwa ndi bwenzi komanso palibe. Ngati muwona kuti mumamufunadi ndikumverera kuti ubwenzi ndi iye ndi wabwino kwa inu kuposa china chilichonse, khalani okondana. Zimakhalanso kuti chikondi chimakhala chiyanjano pang'onopang'ono. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, chilakolako cha chilakolako, chikondi, kulemekeza ndi kuyamika kwa munthu kumakhalabe. Izi zidzachitika ndi inu. Chinthu chachikulu sichiyenera kudzipereka. Dzifunseni nokha chomwe chiri chisangalalo chenicheni kwa inu. Mwinamwake izi ndizomwe mumakonda nthawi yeniyeni ya moyo ndipo zidzakhala zosavuta komanso zomasuka kuti mukhale bwenzi la munthu uyu kusiyana ndi kumanga ubale ndi munthu amene simungathe kukonda kwambiri.
Ngati munasankha kucheza ndi wokondedwa wanu, phunzirani kusangalala ndi zomwe muli nazo. Ngakhale ngati sakukukondani, iye amakukondani, amalingalira ndi maganizo anu, amasangalala pamodzi swamis - ndipo izi zakhala bwino. Ambiri alibe ichi. Mulimonsemo, kukhala pafupi ndi wokondedwa, timakhala ndi maganizo abwino. Choncho, ngati mutasankha kucheza ndi wokondedwa wanu, yesetsani kusangalala ndi zomwe muli nazo.
Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira ndikukhulupirira kuti adzakondedwa. Ndipo mwabwino kwake. Ngati wokondedwa yekha ali woyenera malingaliro awo ndi ziyembekezo zawo. Pafupi ndi munthu wabwino, yemwe timamukonda, tikufuna kukhalabe wabwino, tikwaniritse chinachake. Choncho, ubwenzi woterowo ukhoza kubweretsa zipatso, sichifunikira kuti munthu akhulupirire kuti posachedwa munthuyo adzakhala wanu. Lolani zonse ziganizidwe motsogoleredwa. Inde, pali nthawi pamene ubwenzi udayamba kukula mu chikondi. Ndipo izo zidzakhala zodabwitsa basi, ngati vuto lanu likutuluka kukhala choncho.
Koma mulimonsemo, kukhala bwenzi kapena kusakhala paubwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu ndiko kusankha kwanu. Sitiyenera kudalira pa iye kapena kwa ena. Muyenera kusankha momwe mungakhalire bwino, momwe mudzakhalira osangalala: kukhala bwenzi la wokondedwa kapena kumusiya kwamuyaya.