Kwa amayi, anthu samaletsa kulira, kudandaula kwa abwenzi kapena kukambirana zomwe anakumana nazo pamsonkhano. Munthu amene wasudzulana akamachita zomwezo, zimayambitsa kukana. Kaŵirikaŵiri munthu atatha kusudzulana amakakamizidwa kuti azidziwona yekha mwa iye yekha, osati kuika maganizo ake kunja.
Kodi anthu amamva bwanji atatha kusudzulana? Ululu, kukhumudwa, kutayika, kuopa kulakwitsa, kukhumudwa kwa zaka zomwe zatha. Kusudzulana ndi kusintha kwa moyo pa dziko lonse komwe sikudutsa popanda chikhalidwe cha munthu psyche ndi moyo waumunthu. Ndipo zatsimikiziridwa kuti amuna amatha kusudzulana kwambiri komanso olemera kuposa akazi. Osakhoza kulira ndi kuyankhula, iwo amakakamiza kumverera mwa chikumbumtima. Ndipo pamene malingalirowa ndi olakwika komanso osasangalatsa, amatha kudwala matenda, ndipo nthawi zina amachititsa munthu kudzipha.
Kuopsa kwa matendawa pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwa amuna ndi akazi kumawonjezeka ndi lachitatu. Panthawi ya moyo wosawonongeka, anthu kasanu ndi kawiri nthawi zambiri amatembenukira kwa akatswiri a maganizo ndi opatsirana maganizo. Amuna nthawi zambiri amakhala otopa kwambiri komanso ovutika maganizo kuposa amayi, ndipo amatha kudzipha.
Ngakhale kuti, motsimikiza, amayi ali ndi cholinga chokhalabe ndi banja, ndi kuphunzila mwakuya za nkhaniyi kuti amuna akutsutsana kwambiri kusiyana ndi akazi.
Nthawi yowonongeka pakatha chisudzulo ikhoza kukhala zaka 1-2, mwa anthu ena imatha zaka zinayi. Ndipo apa palinso vuto lalikulu lomwe likuyembekezera anthu. Zimakhulupirira kuti kukula mofulumira kwa ubale watsopano pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwadzaza ndi zovuta zina zamaganizo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti munthu amamva kuti sangathe kusungulumwa. Akazi okha, popanda kuwerenga mabuku abwino ndi zothandizira ma psychologists, nthawi zambiri amatenga nthawi mu ubale kwa miyezi ingapo komanso zaka. Panthawiyi amadza ku malingaliro awo, kuchotsa zolemetsa za m'mbuyomu, ndikuyandikira chiyambi cha maubwenzi atsopano omasulidwa ku malingaliro oipa.
Amuna amachita chimodzimodzi. Ngakhale sichinawonongeke kuchokera ku maubwenzi apitalo, osakhala ndi zilonda zong'ambika, amathamangira ku ubale watsopano, monga mu chiwombankhanga ndi mutu. Chifukwa cha kusungulumwa kwambiri, zomwe palibe amene angalankhule naye, mwamuna amachitapo kanthu poyesera kupeza watsopano. Kaŵirikaŵiri amatha kukwatira mwamsanga mkazi woyamba yemwe wasiya, osangokhala yekha ndi chisoni chake.
Tinakambirana za mayankho akuluakulu a funso limene munthu amamva pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Koma pambuyo pa zonse, pali palinso mbali zapadera za mawonetseredwe a zochitika mu nthawi yomwe kugwa kwa banja kwatha.
Ngati nkhanza, khalidwe la amuna pambuyo pa chisudzulo lingagawidwe mu mitundu itatu.
Mtundu woyamba wa amuna umakhala ndi mtima wokonda kwambiri. Amachita zonse kuti asokoneze moyo wa mzimayi wakale. Nthawi zina amachenjeza kuti moyo wa mkazi udzasanduka gehena ngati atasankha kuchoka. Zimandivuta kulingalira zomwe mwamuna amamva, yemwe ali wokonzeka kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zake kumenyana ndi mkazi. Zikuwoneka kuti malingaliro ameneŵa sali ochepa kwambiri.
Mtundu wachiwiri wa amuna umavomereza kusudzulana monga momwe ziliri. Iwo samayesa kuti akhale bwenzi ndi mkazi wakale, kapena kumenyana naye. Pokhala ndi mutu wotsitsa komanso wokhumudwa mwa chikondi ndi ukwati, amapita ku moyo wodziimira. Ndipo, panjira, amuna oterowo amakhala ndi ubale weniweni waumunthu ndi mkazi wawo, ana awo, mabwenzi akale ndi achibale awo.
Ndipo, potsiriza, mtundu wachitatu wa amuna - awa ndiwo amuna amene akukonzekera maulendo ophunzitsira ndipo amakulimbikitsani. Asanayambe kusudzulana, amayamba kumva kuti chikondi chawo n'chokwanira, kumvetsa momwe akufunira mkazi wawo. Komabe, si zachilendo kusintha chinthu chomwe chachedwa kale. Amuna amenewa akhoza kuchita zonse zomwe zingatheke komanso zosatheka kubwezeretsa maubwenzi. Njira iyi imagwira ntchito ngati mkazi akukayikira kuti akufuna chisudzulo. Nthawi zambiri, izi sizimuthandiza mwamuna kubweza mkazi wake. Ndiponsotu, kusudzulana kuli njira yomwe imatha zaka zambiri. Palibe chisudzulo chokhalitsa. Kusudzulana kulikonse kumakonzedwa kwa zaka zambiri kapena zaka zambiri. Kawirikawiri, achibale kapena abwenzi amangowona maudindo omaliza a chochitika ichi. Ndipo ngakhale chisudzulo cha banjali chimawoneka mosayembekezereka kwa iwo, kwa okwatirana okha, kawirikawiri ndi chisankho chokhalitsa.
Mitundu itatu ya khalidwe yomwe adafotokozedwa ndi munthuyo ingakhale yosakanikirana ndi yolumikizana m'njira yodabwitsa kwambiri. Nthawi zina mwamuna amathamangitsidwa pakati pa njira yowononga ndi kuyesa kubwezeretsa mkazi wake wakale, ndipo amathera ndi mgwirizano wamtendere ndi kuvomereza mkhalidwewo. Kawirikawiri, ziribe kanthu kuti njira yothetsera chibwenzi pambuyo pa chisudzulo imasankhidwa ndi munthu wina. Mulimonsemo, nthawi zambiri amapeza njira yothetsera, monga lamulo, mowawa kwambiri kuposa mkazi. Ngakhale kunja kumakhala bata.