Maubale ndi ofooka ngati khalasitiki. Mwamwayi, anthu ambiri amayamba kumvetsa izi pokhapokha atakhala ndi zibwenzi, atachoka, mwinamwake ngakhale wina. Mpaka pano, ngakhale amayi amawona bwino, akumva ndikumvetsetsa pafupi ndi kugwa, sachita kanthu, nthawi zambiri amangokhala ndi kumachita monga momwe amachitira chiyembekezo cha wamatsenga wabwino omwe adzasintha chilichonse kuti chikhale chabwino, chomwe chidzabweretsa chirichonse m'masiku akale ndiyeno Sipadzakhalanso moyo, koma nthano ... Koma uwu ndiwo moyo! Iye ndi wochenjera ... Iwe umangophonya nthawi yomwe iwe ukhoza kuchitabe chinachake.
Ndipo choipitsitsa - adachoka. Uku ndikumveka kwakukulu kwa mkazi aliyense. Ziri zoonekeratu kuti ndi zovuta bwanji kwa inu tsopano. Kawirikawiri akazi m'mabvuto amenewa amasiya kuganiza, sangathe kuchita bwino kuti atengepo kanthu.
Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani?
Choyamba, muyenera choyamba GANIZIRANI ndipo pokhapokha mutha kupeza njira zothetsera vutoli. Ngati mukufuna, pitani kwa mnzanu kapena wansembe (katswiri wa zamaganizo, ndi zina zotero), iwo amvetsetsa ndikukumverani chisoni, akutsitsirani ndikukupatsani nzeru zochepa kuti muthe kuchita chimodzimodzi. Mwina mupeze mphamvu mkati mwako ndipo konzekerani kuti mutenge njira zoyenera kuti muthe kumvetsetsa nokha ndi kupewa zolakwa zanu, mutha kupeza tanthauzo la moyo, mupeze kukoma kwake kwatsopano. Mulimonsemo, kuti mubwezeretsenso, muyenera kuti mukhale odekha kenako mutha kuyang'ana njira zabwino zowbwezera. Ndipo ngati tsopano mwataya mtima ndipo mwatsimikiza mtima kuchita chilichonse kuti muyesere kuti mubwererenso kuti mupeze cholinga chatsopano cha moyo, kenaka muwerenge.Chachiwiri, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti simungangobwereranso zakale kapena kukonza chiyanjano choyambirira. Zakale zapita kwamuyaya, zakale ndizo mzimu, pambuyo pake sizingakhale zopanda pake kuthamangitsa ... Mungaiwale zonse zomwe zinachitika kale, ndikumanga maubwenzi atsopano, mosiyana kwambiri ndi omwe analipo kale. Mutha kuyamba kuyambira pachiyambi, yambani kukondana kwatsopano. Ndipo mwa iye khalidwe lalikulu likhoza kukhala iye. Simungathe kumanga vase losweka ... Mungathe kupanga vaseti yatsopano. Ndipo zidzangodalira pa inu ngati zingakhale zabwino kusiyana ndi kale, koma mulimonsemo zidzakhala kale vaseti, maubwenzi ena. Ndipo chiyanjano chatsopano ichi chiyenera kukhala chosiyana, chosiyana ndi chakale mu chirichonse, mpaka kuzing'ono kwambiri (kumbukirani zomwe iye akufuna kuti aziwona mwa inu, ndipo inu munakana). Kupanda kutero, zochitika zanu zakale sizigwira ntchito, zomwe sizikulolani kuti muzikhala mwachizolowezi, ndipo ngakhale mutatha kubwezeretsa, zonse zidzabwerenso. Ndipo inu mudzakhala mukuganiza momwe mungachotsere izo ...
Choncho, choyamba, muyenera kumvetsa nokha, mu zolakwa zanu. Ndiye mukufunikira kuunika, ndizotheka bwanji kumanga chinthu choyipa ndi iye ndikukhala wokondwa.
Koma izi ziyenera kukhala buku lililonse. Kodi mukufunikira kuyamba chiyani buku latsopanoli? Kukongola kwanu ndi chithumwa, chomwe chiyenera kukhala pamwamba! Mukhoza kupambana nthawi yotsiriza, ndipo panopa, tsopano mukudziwa zofooka zake ndi zoledzeretsa ndipo ngati muli ndi mawonekedwe ndipo zikusonyeza chidwi, mukhoza kuchichita. Kotero tsopano mukusowa chinthu chofunika kwambiri - muyenera kupeza mtendere wamumtima kukhala pamwamba.
Kumayambira pati? Ndili ndekha, wokondedwa wanga! Yang'anani nokha kuchokera kumbali. Amakuyang'ana bwanji? Mukuyenera kuti mwazindikira ndipo mumamva kuti amuna oyandikana nawo pamsewu, pamsewu ndi m'sitolo anasiya kukumbukira, ngakhale kuti posachedwa mwakhala mukugwirana ndi maonekedwe awa. Kotero chinachake chasintha mwa inu, ndipo sichinasinthe bwino. Nchifukwa chiyani mkazi wokongola chotero ngati iwe mwadzidzidzi anakhala wopanda chidziwitso? Nchifukwa chiyani amuna anasiya kukuwonani inu? Chifukwa chake chiri chosavuta - mwataya chikoka, ndiko kuti, kudzidalira kwatayika ndipo kudzidalira kwatsika kwambiri.
Ngati mukufuna kusintha chinachake, bweretseni munthuyo kapena kumuiwala ndikupeza chisangalalo chanu ndi wina, ndiye kuti tiyambe ndi izi, tiyenera kubwezeretsa choyambirira ndikuchilimbitsa kawiri! Kawirikawiri, tifunikira kudziwoneka bwino. Simulinso kamtsikana ndipo mumadziwa bwino bwino komanso kumvetsa kuti kukopa munthu, chofunika kwambiri si kukongola, koma kukopa, kugonana, ndiko kuti, maganizo anu amkati. Ndipo kuti munthu aliyense (kuphatikizapo wakale) adakuyang'anirani, mukufunanso kukhala okongola, kupeza chibwenzi chodetsa komanso kudzidalira. Ngati akukuwonani panopa, zidzangowonjezera malo anu omwe simukudziwa. Kotero, mpaka mutatha kuthetsa vutoli, pewani misonkhano iliyonse ndi iye.
Kuonjezerapo, tsopano mukukwiya kwambiri pamtima pa chidziwitso, chomwe chiyenera kudulidwa ndikuchichotsa. Kuti mukwaniritse izi, muyenera kuyamba kuiwala (pamlingo wa chidziwitso) mwamsanga, kumasula mutu wanu kuchokera mmenemo, kuchokera m'maganizo oyambirira ndi zolakwika, chifukwa pamene muli pamutu wanu (makamaka, pamwamba pa chidziwitso), zokhazokha. Maganizo olakwika awa sangakulole kuti muchite moyenera, amawononga ndipo muyenera kuwachotsa. Kulankhulana kulikonse ndi iye tsopano kumangowonjezera vuto lanu, ndiye chifukwa chake muyenera kuyamba kubwezeretsanso mphamvu zanu, kuchotsa maganizo oipa pa iye. Apo ayi, mu ubale wanu udzamangidwanso kumanga, osati madokolo.
Zomwe amakhulupirira kuchokera kwa iye mulimonsemo zidzakhalabe, ndizozama kwambiri, kotero mutha kukhala chete. Zangokhala zakukhosi komwe kwakukhumudwitsani tsopano ndipo sikukulolani kuti muzikhala mwachizolowezi ndikuchita bwino. Ndipo tsopano mukusowa chidaliro mwa inu nokha, mu mphamvu zanu ndi zithumwa kuposa kale lonse, ndi ndondomeko yoyenera yogwira ntchito. Choncho, pamene muyenera kupewa kucheza naye. Mukukonzekera tsopano ndipo chikhalidwe ichi chiyenera kuwonongedwa, chotsitsimutsidwa ndi moyo wokhutiritsa, wokondwa, wokondwa ndi wokondweretsa. Pomwepo mungathe kukwaniritsa chinachake! Mukapeza chikhulupiliro choyamba, ndiye kuti (osati kale!) Kodi mungatengepo njira iliyonse yodziphatikizira, kumangiriza buku latsopano. Poyambira, izi ziyenera kukhala msonkhano wodutsa, wooneka ngati wogwirizana, pamsewu kapena kumene ukuchitika, ndipo akuyenera kukuwonani, ndipo musayang'ane kumbali yake, ayenera kukhala ngati kuti samamuzindikira. Mwa zomwe amachitapo, mudzazindikira ngati chibwenzi chatsopano chiri kotheka. Ngati iye alibe chidwi, ndiye palibe chomwe chidzachitike ... Ngati akuwonetsa chidwi, ndiye wina akhoza kulimbitsa ubwenzi ndikuwamanganso pamalo atsopano. Koma tidzakambirana za izi mitu yotsatira ...
Choyamba, chinthu choyamba kuchita ndi kuwonjezera kudzilemekeza kwanu ndi kukongola kwa akale kapena abwino kumwambamwamba. Izi zidzatenga nthawi. Wina amakhala ndi sabata, wina amafunika mwezi, ndi theka la chaka. Ndipo kwa nthawi ino ndikofunikira kuchotsa maulendo onse ndi iye.
Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Mwambi wa Chirasha umati: mphero imachotsedwa ndi mphero. Apa, malo awa pamutu mwanu (pamwamba pa chidziwitso), okhudzidwa ndi maganizo oipa, ayenera kudzazidwa ndi chinachake ndi wina, koma ndi maganizo abwino. Mwa njira iyi mungathe kudzitamandira ndikudzidalira nokha kuti muchite zina. M'mitu yotsatilayi, mudzapeza zochita, kuchita mwakhama zomwe mungathe kusunthira ndikuyambiranso kudzidalira.
Lonjezani kudzidalira
Kuonjezera kudzidalira nokha ndikudzidalira ngati sitepe yoyamba, muyenera nthawi zonse kuchita masewero olimbitsa thupi kuti muwonjezere kukongola, ichi ndi chomwe chimatchedwa kusinkhasinkha pa wokondedwa.
Monga mukudziwira bwino, kukopa ndi mbali ya psyche yanu. Choncho, tenga monga ntchito, monga masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena kutsuka, monga kuvala kapena kupukuta mano, monga ma gymnastics of the mind. Mwina, poyamba muyenera kuyesetsa, koma pang'onopang'ono pamene mukuchita zambiri, zidzakhala zosavuta kwa inu. Ndipo mwamsanga mudzawona mosavuta kusintha kwanu nokha. Ingochita izo ndipo onetsetsani kuti muwone ndikumverera zotsatira.
Kotero, chofunika cha zochitikazo: kuiwala izo, wina ayenera kuganizira nthawi zonse za munthu wina, kunja kwa mwamuna. Ndikofunika kusankha pakati pa amuna osadziwika (mwinanso ngakhale mu khamulo) wa munthu aliyense amene ankakonda chinachake, anakopa chidwi chanu. Ndiyeno mu malingaliro anu muyambe kumanga chikondi ndi zolinga zina ndi iye, ganizirani momwe mungakhalire pamodzi. Yesetsani kupanga malingaliro awa mowala momwe zingathere. Aliyense amakonda kulingalira. Mwamwayi, ndikutsimikiza kuti mudzachita bwino, chifukwa malingaliro ndi makamaka kukonda malingaliro azimayi apangidwa bwino.
Kotero, zowonjezereka za chikondi, zizindikiro za kukondana, kukondana, kugonana, ngakhale kugonana ndi mvula yamkuntho komanso mbiri yokhudza ubale wapamtima, zofunikanso, moyo wa banja wodekha, ana ogwirizana - ambiri, malingaliro komanso zithunzi zambiri za moyo wamtsogolo pamodzi ndi munthu wosadziwika. Ngati nthawi ino muli ndi chinachake chofunika kwambiri, nthawi yotsatira muyenera kupitanso patsogolo mutu womwewo, lingaliro lomwelo. Bwererani mobwerezabwereza ku zomwe zakhala zikuyenda bwino kwambiri m'mbuyomo. Zonse mwazochitikira zingaphunzire mosavuta. Kuwala ndi zokondweretsa zowonjezereka ndizomwe zimayandikira kwambiri. Ngati munthuyu sakukudziwani bwino (ntchito, ntchito zovomerezeka, ntchito zapakhomo, etc.), ndiye kuti malingaliro amenewa akuthandizidwa ndi zochita zomwe zimamuyang'ana, ndi kumwetulira kokongola, kutenga zizindikiro zake zonse, kuyankhulana naye kwambiri ndi kusamala zomwe anachita. Komanso, yambani ndi chidwi choyang'ana pozungulira kwa akunja. Chitani nthawi zonse, paliponse - pamsewu, mumtengatenga, m'masitolo, kuntchito ... Mukapita kunja, mverani amuna oyandikana nawo. Mukamaliza kuchita zimenezi, zidzakhala zosavuta kuti musinthe. Nthawi yochepetsera ntchitoyi ndi sabata limodzi, ngakhale kuti zingakhale zofunika kwa wina ndi zina. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kuyenera kuchitidwa nthawi zonse, pamene muli ndi mphindi yaulere, yopatsa chakudya, zogulitsidwa, mumsewu, mu sitolo ... Zambiri komanso zowonjezera malingaliro, kusintha msanga kudzakhala.
Ngati iye, wakale, mwadzidzidzi adadzitcha yekha, ndiye ichi ndi chigonjetso chanu choyamba. KOMA! Pamene iwe uli ndi iye wolekerera ndipo usamupatse iye malonjezo alionse. Palibe misonkhano! Palibe tsatanetsatane. Ndipo ngati mutakhala ndi malingaliro obwezera, muiwale za iwo. Kwa inu tsopano, ndinu ofunika okha, ganizirani nokha, maganizo anu, mphamvu yanu yamkati. Tsopano inu choyamba mumayenera kuganizira mozama za ubale wanu ndi kusankha momwe mungapitirire.
Kodi muyenera kugwirizana?
Ndibwino kuti zochitika zoyamba zimakuthandizireni kuchepetsa pang'ono, zimathandiza kuiwala, kuzichotsa kumalo amodzi. Ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, chimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi chidaliro komanso kudzidalira. Kuti mupitirize kuphunzitsa ubongo wanu ntchitoyi, muyenera kuchita chimodzi - gawo lachiwiri. Zotere, kuti apange ndalama kwa munthu wina, kuti asachotsepo kale pa mndandanda wa omwe ali ndi suitors. Mulimonsemo, ubale wanu udzakhala wosiyana ndipo udzakhala wosiyana, choncho izi zikugwiritsidwa ntchito kwa 100% mosasamala za momwe moyo wanu wamtsogolo udzakhalira ndi ndani. Izi zimakuthandizira kuwonjezera malingaliro anu abwino, kukupangitsani mkazi wokhazikika. Zotsatira zake, zonsezi sizothandiza kokha kupulumuka zotsatira zake, komanso kuyang'ana moyo ndi chiyembekezo ndipo, mulimonsemo, zoyenera kukonza moyo wanu mtsogolomu ndipo potsiriza, kuti mupeze chimwemwe chanu.
Pachifukwa ichi nkofunika kuganiziranso chifukwa chake ndichifukwa chiyani inu nonse mumazikonda. Kawirikawiri atsikana m'mayiko awa amakhulupirira kuti sangathe kukonda wina. Izo siziri choncho. Inde, zikuwoneka choncho tsopano ndipo ngati simukuchita zozizwitsa nokha, vutoli lingathe kukhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali, nthawi zina ngakhale kwa zaka zambiri ... Atsikana omwe ali okhulupirika ndi wolindira akuyembekezera, omwe amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi izi - Aliyense adzabwerera kwa iye. Ichi ndi kulakwitsa kwakukulu kwa amayi. Chowonadi ndi chakuti kwa yemwe kale munali, iye SABWERA kubwerera! Inu simukusowa chinthu choterocho, chofunikira chomwe iye akuchifuna ndi winanso amene mwaphunzirapo, mwadzidzimva nokha, munazindikira zolakwazo ndipo mwaphunzira kupeŵa iwo, omwe amadziwa chomwe chingathe kuperekedwa ndikuperekedwa chifukwa cha chimwemwe. Koma uyu ndi mkazi wosiyana kwambiri ... Ndipo winayo, mkazi wanzeru, iwe uyenera kukhala.
Kotero, pakali pano mukudalira kwambiri maganizo ake, zomwe zingafanane ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, tsopano mwatenga mlingo ndipo munayamba kupuma. Mdziko lino, munthu amalira kwambiri ndipo sasamala momwe angapezere mlingo (kubweretsani wokondedwa). Ndi chifukwa chake muyenera kuchotsa chidaliro ichi poyamba - chimakulepheretsani kuchita moyenera. Kodi machitidwe ndi mapulogalamu awa adutsa, mudzatha "kuchiza" kwathunthu. Kenaka mukhoza kupuma mwaufulu ndikuyang'ana kulemera kwake kwa maunyolo omwe mudataya. Chifukwa kudalira nthawi zonse kumakhala unyolo. Kuti mutembenuzire nokha mu njira yoyenera muyenera kuwerenga ndi kusintha kuti sangabwerere, kuti kuchokera pano mukhala ndi moyo popanda iye. Potsirizira pake, izi zidzakuthandizani kumasuka nokha pazomwe mukudalira ndikuyambiranso moyo wina kapena wopanda, monga momwe mukufuna. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Chitani chizolowezi chachiwiri.
Chofunika cha zochitikazi ndikutengeka nthawi zonse. Iwo ankakonda kukhala gwero lawo, tsopano ilo liyenera kukhala linalake, mosavuta kwa inu. Kuti mukwaniritse izi, nthawi zonse muzidzilimbikitsanso nokha kuti tsopano ntchito yanu yaikulu ndikusangalalira pamoyo wanu pazinthu zake zazing'ono - chakudya, zovala, miyambo, zosangalatsa, ndi zina zotero. Dzigulireni nokha zakudya zamakono, zinthu zokongola, pita kukapuma kumene mwakhala mukulota, kupita ku masewera omwe mumawakonda kapena kuwonera kanema mu filimu yomwe mumafuna kuiwona. Kawirikawiri, mudzaze moyo wanu ndi chimwemwe, kudzigonjera nokha mu zosangalatsa zanu pang'ono ndikuzichita tsiku ndi tsiku! Mwachidziwikire, munthu sayenera kukhala ndi chiyembekezo cha kubweranso kwake, koma amakhala moyo wake wokondwa, amasangalala ndi moyo. Pezani chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo muzonse zomwe zikukuzungulirani, mudzaze tsiku lililonse la moyo wanu ndi zosangalatsa zazikulu ndi zazikuluzikuluzi. Zonsezi zidzakulolani kuti mupitirize kulimbitsa chidwi chanu, potsirizira pake mudzatulutsa madzi, omwe angakope chidwi ndi amuna oyandikana nawo. Mudzawona izi, muzimva ndikuzizindikira. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti mwachita phunziroli mwangwiro.
Mmene mungakhalire?
Tsopano tiyeni tione momwe tingachitire naye, ngati atabweranso mwadzidzidzi? Kodi ndi zolakwika ziti zomwe amayi amapanga pachiyambi cha ubale watsopano ndi iye?
Choyamba, muyenera kudziwa bwino ndi kumvetsa kuti tsopano muli ndi maganizo ofanana - chifuwa, kukonda kwathunthu kapena kunyansidwa. Ngakhale ngati tsopano mukukambirana, simungamvereni ngakhale pang'ono, akudumphadutsa m'makutu anu. Panopo ali ndi malingaliro oipa omwe amakhalapo monga galu wa Pavlov, malingaliro ameneŵa akugwiritsabe ntchito zonse zomwe munagwirizana kale. Choncho, palibe chomwe chiyenera kumukumbutsa za ubale wanu wakale.
Kotero, kulakwitsa kwakukulu kudzakhala kuyesa kukonzanso ubwenzi ndi iye monga momwe unaliri pachiyambi cha ubale wanu wakale, ziribe kanthu momwe iwo anayambira kukongola kwake. Tsopano maubwenzi anu akale, ngakhale nthawi zabwino kwambiri, amakhala okhudzidwa mtima, kotero muyenera kuiwala mosamala ndipo kudzakhala kulakwitsa kwakukuru mukamamukumbutsa zina zomwe munapita kale ngakhale nthawi zabwino kwambiri! Zonsezi zidzangomukwiyitsa ndipo zidzakulitsa vutoli ...
Kotero, lamulo loyambirira: muyenera kuyesa kuiwala ZONSE zomwe zinalipo kale ndi kupewa zitsanzo zilizonse m'mbuyomu zomwe mwakumana nazo, ziribe kanthu momwe anasangalalira !!! Muyenera kupewa malo akale a misonkhano, malo omwe mudapitira limodzi. Kungakhale kulakwitsa kwakukuru ngati mukuvomera kukakumana ndi malo ena omwe munkawakonda, ngakhale atapereka yekha! Kungakhale kulakwitsa koopsa ngati mupita ku kanema kamene mumakonda kanema, masewera kapena holo. Kawirikawiri, chirichonse chimene poyamba chinakukakamizani inu chiyenera kuiwalika! Pakalipano, zimangomukwiyitsa pamsinkhu wosadziwika bwino, kupweteka maganizo.
Chachiwiri, munthu ayenera kuphunzira kuthana ndi maganizo ake oipa omwe simungapambane pamphumi. Ndikofunika kuti muyambe kuyenda mozungulira, muyenera kusintha mkati mwanu (ndibwino kusintha fano lanu, mapangidwe, maonekedwe a tsitsi, zovala, etc.) pang'ono, kotero kuti sakuzindikira mwa inu zomwe amadana nazo kuti mutenge chinyengo chake choyambirira pa inu. Pamene mungathe kunyenga chikumbumtima chake, ndiye kuti mutha kukhala ndi mwayi wobwezeretsanso maubwenzi akale, ngakhale kuti sadzakhalapo ndipo sayenera kukhala oyambirira - ayenera kukhala ENA !!!
Zisanachitike, ndibwino kulingalira ngati izi zikutikumbutsa za chiyanjano choyambirira. Poyamba zidzakhala zovuta, muyenera kudziletsa nokha, koma pakapita nthawi chizoloŵezi chidzakula ndipo izi zonse zidzangokhalapo, ndithudi, simungaganize. Ndipo izi zidzakhala zatsopano ndi munthu wakale. Imeneyi ndi njira yokhayo yothetsera ubale ndi iye pachigawo chapamwamba kapena chapamwamba. Mwamudziwa kale, kumbukirani zolakwa zanu, zomwe tsopano ziyenera kupeŵedwa mosamala pochita naye.
Mwachidziwikire, tsopano mu ubale ndi iye zonse ziyenera kukhala zosiyana, zonse (makamaka molondola, makamaka muzing'ono)! Ndipotu, kwa iye ayenera kukhala chikondi chatsopano ndi mkazi wina. Chilichonse chimadalira momwe munthuyu alili wokondedwa ndi zomwe mwakonzeka kuti mupite. Zidzakhala zovuta, chifukwa ichi muyenera kudutsa pa kunyada kwanu. Zoonadi, ngati simunakonzekere zonsezi, ndi bwino kuiwala nthawi yomweyo ndikuyang'ana wina, kuti mukhale ndi ubale watsopano m'malo atsopano, ndikuganizira zolakwa zomwe zapitazo.