Choyamba, nkofunikira kuthana ndi malingaliro olakwika omwe ali nawo.
Nthaŵi zambiri timayambitsa mavuto athu enieni, timayang'ana pa iwo ndikudzikakamiza kuti tikhulupirire kuti moyo wathu wa kugonana "slide". Pakalipano, kuti ife muzochita zathu zocheperana sizikugwirizana ndi ambiri kapena sizikugwirizana ndi zochitika zomwe timapatsidwa ndi anthu (mwachitsanzo, sitimagonana kawiri pa sabata, monga anthu okwatirana, koma imodzi) sizikutanthauza kuti sitikufuna kumenyedwa nkhaŵa kapena kufikitsa kusudzulana. Choncho, tidzatsutsana ndi "zoopsa" zomwe zimatilepheretsa kukhala ndi moyo.
"Sitili ogwirizana kugonana"
Ichi ndi chowonetseratu chabwino kwambiri cha zonse zomwe zilipo padziko lapansi. Iwo amatha kumvetsetsa chilichonse: zosiyana zogonana, ndi zosaoneka zochepa (izi nthawi zambiri zimadandaula ndi amayi omwe sanayese kuyankhula ndi amuna awo zokhudza kugonana, kugonana pamlomo, magulu, chiganizo G ndi malo osokonezeka), komanso kusowa kwachisangalalo chimodzimodzi nthano iyi ndi yotchuka kwambiri - pakati pa okonda masewera ndi mafilimu achikondi). Ndipotu: ngati mukuganiza kuti mnzanuyo sagwirizane nawe pabedi, ndiye kuti mulibe chifundo kwa iye. Simungavomereze izi ndipo mumagwiritsa ntchito zomwe zimatchedwa "kugonana kosagwirizana", ngati udzu. "Ngati mukufuna, mavuto onse okhudzana ndi izi kapena osokonezeka panthawi yogonana angathe kuthetsedwa," anatero Vladimir Prokhorov. Ngakhale zochitika zosawerengeka kwambiri za kusagwirizana kwa thupi (zosagwirizana ndi ziwalo zogonana) sizowopsya. Mukhoza kugonana pazinthu zina (izi zimathandiza ndi mbolo yaikulu) kapena kugwiritsa ntchito pulasitiki. " Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? Musaiwale za malingaliro achikondi (monga "okhawo omwe angathe kukwanitsa panthawi imodzimodzi ndi akazi"), fufuzani kusamvana (omwe amaganiza kuti zosaoneka ngati zovuta kwambiri pamoyo wawo, angathe kukonza "zosavomerezeka" pamasiku ena ), kuyesa, ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, kuti muzisangalala nazo. Chinthu china, ngati "kusagwirizana pabedi" kumabisa chibwenzi chokwanira (simukukonda momwe zimasangalatsa, zimayenda). Pofuna kuthetsa vutoli, muyenera kupeza mizu yake. Chovuta ndi chiyani apa - kuti simukumukonda mwamuna uyu, amakhumudwa kwambiri ndi iye kapena maganizo anu pa nkhani zogonana? Pachifukwa ichi, ndi bwino kuyang'ana njira yotuluka mkati mwa chimbudzi cha psychotherapy.
Vuto la nambala 2 "Tili ndi kugonana kochepa"
Lingaliro lachizolowezi ndi chinthu chochepa. Mwamuna kapena mkazi ayenera kukhala osachepera katatu pa sabata, pomwe awiriwo amakhala awiri pa mwezi. Ena amachepetsedwa mu libido ndi zomveka mu mabanja omwe amakhala pamodzi zaka zoposa ziwiri. Komabe, izi siziri chifukwa chofuna razluchnitsu kapena kuvutika chifukwa chakuti mwasiya kukondana. Zoonadi: chirichonse chiri chosavuta. Choyamba, mgwirizano uliwonse umayamba, pa nthawi yonse ya moyo iwo amasintha kwambiri: kutentha kwa chilakolako kumalowa m'malo ndi nthawi zina, zomwe, monga lamulo, zimatsatiridwa ndi kuphulika kwina. Ndipo kachiwiri, chirichonse chomwe chimalimbikitsa ukwati wanu pa zaka (umoyo wabwino, ntchito, zosangalatsa, zofunikila, ana, zinyama), nthawi zambiri zimasokoneza moyo wa kugonana. Pochita zachiwerewere, simungathe nthawi kapena mphamvu. Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? Sankhani madzulo ndi kudzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake: kumbukirani nthawi yaukwati. Ngati izi sizikuthandizani, muyenera kulingalira mozama za ubale wanu. Chifukwa cha "kukhala chete" nthawi zambiri chimakhala chisokonezo pakati pa okwatirana. Ganizani zomwe zinachitika musanakhazikike? Mwinamwake inu mosakayikira mwamunayo mwamunayo (mawu monga "Chabwino, ndiwe munthu wamunthu, ngati simungathe kupanga tchuthi", chovuta kwambiri chigunda ndi libido). Pankhaniyi, muyenera kubwezeretsa mgwirizano wapamtima ndi mbewu. Njira zabwino kwambiri ndizo mayamiko. Amuna amamvetsanso makutu. Ndili ndi mwamuna wanga, timakambirana zonse (zochitika m'dzikoli, zomwe zikuchitika pa ntchito, kukonzekera kutsogolo, kupambana kwa ana, thanzi la makolo). Kupatula kugonana. Zakachitika kuti nkhaniyi ndi imodzi mwazinthu zomwe zili mdziko lathu. Ndipotu: kukweza ubwino wa kugonana kungakhale kudzera mwa kukambirana. Inde, nthawizina nthawi zina zimayambira. Komabe, si anthu onse okonzeka kutanthauzira molondola zoyenera zathu, kuyang'ana, oohs ndi kubuula. Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? "Kulankhula za kugonana ndi nkhani yomwe imangodetsa nkhawa ziwiri," anatero Vladimir Prokhorov. Kwa wina, malo abwino oti mukambirane nkhanizi ndizogona, ndipo wina - khala. Chinthu chachikulu ndi kusankha njira yopanda mavuto yopitilira: Kupita kwa anthu onga "mukuganiza zokhudzana ndi kupeza kachetechete" sikungathandize. Muyeneranso kuphunzira kuphunzira "ayi" kuti mnzanu asakhumudwitse. Ntchito yanu ndikumvetsetsana kuchokera ku mawu a hafu, kuti mupange dongosolo lanu la zizindikiro. "
Ife ndife osiyana kwambiri
Ndipo monga kanema wachitukuko ukufotokozedwa, komabe ife tiri limodzi. Zoonadi, kugonana amuna ndi akazi ndi kosiyana kwambiri. Choncho, ngati abambo akukumana ndi chiwerewere m'mawa (kuyambira 6 mpaka 9 koloko m'mawa), akazi, akazi, amakonda kukonda madzulo;
- ngati abambo atatha kupuma pang'ono akufunanso "kuthamangira kunkhondo," tikhoza kusangalala popanda kusokoneza;
- ngati amuna alota zovuta, nthawi zambiri timayerekezera kugonana monga mlendo, kapena malo atsopano kapena pagulu;
- ngati kwa abambo kukwanitsa kupambana ndikumapeto kwaokha, kwa ife, akazi, kuyandikana kwapakati ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa mfundo yomaliza.
Kusiyanitsa kwathu kungakhoze kufotokozedwa kwa zopanda malire. Chabwino, pamene tili ndi zifukwa zowonjezera. Kugonana nthawi zonse kumakhala kosautsa ndipo kumatitengera mwayi woti tiyesere!
Vuto nambala 4 "Sindimakonda kuyesera kwake pa kama"
Kapena ayi: Iye sagwirizana ndi malingaliro olimbitsa mtima a mkazi wake. Mwa njira, mosiyana ndi malingaliro a anthu, nthawi zambiri oyambitsa zoyesayesa pabedi si amuna, koma akazi. Ndipotu: ndi ife omwe timatopa kwambiri ndi zochitika zonse zomwe, monga lamulo, zimakhutiritsa amuna athu. Pamene akunyoza kwambiri ndiko kupunthwa pa kudzichepetsa kwa mnzanu. Zikuwoneka kuti kumbuyo kwake kulibe chidwi, kusakhutira kusintha chinachake, komanso chinyengo china. Komabe, zimakhalanso kuti, ife, amayi, omwe tisiye kukhumudwa kwa mwamuna (nthawi zina amatikhumudwitsa). Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? Fufuzani "golide" amatanthauza ". Zochitika zosiyana, zolimbitsa thupi, ngakhale kugonana kwa abambo, masewero owonetsera, chikondi pamaso pa kamera - mungathe kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo malingalirowa, yesetsani chinachake, ndikubwezeretsanso chinachake mpaka "mutse". Kugwirizana pakati pa okwatirana pa chifukwa ichi kulipo kuti athe kukambirana ndi mavuto ndikupanga chisankho. Ganizirani chifukwa chake mnzanuyo akufuna kuyesa izi kapena kuti zatsopano ndi zomwe zikukuletsani? Kodi mukuwopa chiyani? Kapena amaopa chiyani ngati zinthu zili zosiyana? Mwinamwake, malingaliro awa adzakuthandizani kuthana ndi vuto limene laphuka.
Malangizo othandiza
Machimo onsewa: amuna onse, ndi-makamaka kawirikawiri akazi. Chomwe chimamveka. Ndipotu: Mabwenzi ndi abwenzi pankhaniyi si alangizi abwino kwambiri. Kumene kuli kukambirana kwambiri ndi wokondedwa kapena ulendo wopita kwa katswiri wamaganizo kapena wamagulu. Pokhudzana ndi chikondi pambuyo pake, ndi bwino kuwatulutsa pa pepala kapena kugonjetsa ntchito. Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? Sankhani "chowonjezera chachitatu" kuchokera ku chiyanjano chanu. Ziribe kanthu kuchuluka kwa momwe mukufuna kugawana ndi bwenzi lanu "kwambiri," yesetsani kukhala chete. Ganizirani za mkazi wanu. Kodi ndi zabwino kuti akhale msilikali wa nkhani zanu? Kwenikweni musagwirizane ndi "zopinga" zanu pabedi. Msungwana sangawonekere kukuthandizani, ndipo nthawi zonse mumamunyoza mwamuna wanu. Ngati "zovala zanu zakuda" zimachotsedwa ndi mwamuna wanu, muyenera kulankhula naye ndikufotokozerani kuti khalidwe lake ndi losasangalatsa bwanji kwa inu. Ndondomeko zosavuta: "Ndizochititsa manyazi kuona nkhope za anzako," "Simukufunika kuitanira anzanu ndi anzanu ku bedi lathu."
Ziwerengero za kugonana
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Durex.com, anthu 38 peresenti yokha a dziko lapansi amagonana monga momwe amafunira. Kukhala ndi kugonana kumakhudzidwa ndi zifukwa zambiri (thanzi labwino ndi maganizo, kulera, komanso kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso kukhala ndi moyo wabwino). Chinthu chotsiriza "chimasewera" pa ife. Olemerawo, ndizovuta kwambiri moyo wake wogonana.