Malinga ndi sayansi ya kukwaniritsa bwino, kuti mukwaniritse chinachake, muyenera kufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane kuti mwakhala mukukwanitsa zenizeni zazimayi - munthu wamaloto.
Kotero, kodi iye ndi chiani chachikazi - munthu wa maloto? Wokongola, wothamanga, wokongola ...
Kuchokera kumbali ya womvera
Timanena kuti chikhalidwe chachikazi - munthu wamaloto ndi wokongola, ngati timamvetsa kuchokera kwa iye ndikuwala kuchokera mkati ndikukhala ndi chisangalalo chapadera pamene izi zimalimbikitsa chikhumbo chokhala pafupi ndi kumayang'ana mumdima wa kukongola uku, kusangalala. Chifukwa chake, kukongola kumakhutiritsa zosowa zina za munthu, zimakhutitsa zana, zimakhutitsa zina mwa njala yake yamaganizo. Munthu aliyense ali ndi ubale wake wovuta ndi lingaliro la "kukongola". Chimene amaika m'maganizo awa - iye mwini sadziwa bwino.
Kuchokera kumbali
Pamene tinkalingalira zabwino zazimayi - munthu wamaloto ndi wokongola kuchokera kwa yemwe amayang'ana. Ndipo ngati muyang'ana kuchokera kwa yemwe amachititsa kuti mumve? Zimakhala kuti munthu yemweyo akhoza kumva wokongola ndi woipa, malingana ndi momwe akumvera, zovala, khalidwe la anthu ofunika kwa iye, ndi zina zotero. Munthu wokongola, monga lamulo, ndi munthu wokhutira, wokhutira ndi iye mwini. Kuyang'ana pa iye akufuna kukhala chimodzimodzi, kufuna kuti atenge kachilombo kaye, akufuna kukhala pafupi ndi gwero labwino la iye mwini. Pambuyo pa zonse, ngati ndili ndi kukongola ndi kukongola uku ndi ine, ndiye ndikukhudzidwa ndi chuma ichi - kukongola, pang'onopang'ono kukhala gawo la izo.
Kotero ine ndikanadya izo!
Kawirikawiri, lingaliro la kugwirizana ndi zomwe limakopeka, ndiloona pa kugonana. Pali lingaliro lakuti anthu omwe akufuna kubwereka chinachake, chomwe chimakhala ngati (ngati "kudya chiwindi cha mdani kuti chikhale ndi mphamvu zake") chifukwa cha kugonana. Kuchokera pamaganizo a psychoanalysis, njira zogonana ndi kudya / kuyamwa zili ndi maziko omwe amagwirizana.
Kodi batani yanga ili kuti?
Eya, tikadakhala okonzeka kuti tebulo lokongola lidzasokoneza chilakolako, ndi zilakolako zogona! Kukongola kwakukulu sikungapangitse munthu wosirira chifukwa chosavuta - sakonda iwo! Ngati mwamunayo ali wokongola kunja, koma samamva chisoni ndi mkazi wake, samumvera chisoni, samumvera chisoni, samamvetsera nkhani zokhudzana ndi moyo wake, amaona kuti ntchito yake ndi yopanda pake ndipo saona mkazi mwa iye, sipadzakhalanso mkazi wachiwerewere yemwe ali ndi chiwerewere kukopa kwa munthu wotere! Ngati iye sali wofufuza maso.
Ambiri amawona chipulumutso mwa njira zamasewera olimbitsa thupi. Chisangalalo cha thupi chimachokera ku chotsitsimutsa chatsopano, koma mutatha kusangalatsa minofu ndi zokhudzana ndi zosangalatsa, malo osasangalatsa angakhalepo, chifukwa munthu ndikumvetsa zovuta komanso kuyesetsa kuti akhale wosangalala. Ngati palibe chidziwitso chachisanu ndi chimodzi chachisoni ndi chikondi, chidziwitso chabwino kwambiri cha kugonana chidzakhala chochitika. "Chisangalalo chosasangalatsa" n'zotheka kokha ngati zopempha zonse zakhutira: thupi, maganizo ndi-inde-inde! - kufunika / khalidwe.
Kugonana = kukongola?
Kuukitsa kugonana ndi chinthu chovuta komanso chodziwika bwino moti sikungathe kukamba za miyambo iliyonse. Akazi ambiri, mwachitsanzo, amasangalala ngati wokondedwa wawo ali ngati bambo awo, osati chiwonongeko chochokera pachivundikiro cha magaziniyo. Amayi ambiri samakonda munthu wangwiro, koma wina yemwe amamva mu umunthu wake ndipo sasangalala ndi kukongola kwa thupi lake, koma kuchokera kwa iye ngati umunthu wosayenerera, umene iye wasankha. Ngati mgwirizano wa anthu ukukhala "wokongola", ndiye wofooka kwambiri: okwatirana adzawonongedwa kwamuyaya ponena kuti akhoza "kukanidwa", m'malo mwa kukongola kwake.
Kodi izi zikutanthauzanji?
Ndikufuna kuti wina akhale wosangalala ndi ine, ndikuwonetsa zokondweretsa ndekha, kundipweteka ndikumverera uku. Mkazi wabwino - munthu wamaloto - narcissus wodzudzula, "wopenga iwe wekha," amawunikira kukhala wokhutira wochuluka kwambiri monga kukondwa kwamatsenga.
Inaction - munthu mwiniyo amayang'anitsitsa zowonjezera.
Ndikofunika kuti mwamuna wanga ayamikike ndi chilengedwe changa, kotero kuti sadandidyetse bwino ndi kukongola kwake, ndi angati mwa omwe akuyesa maonekedwe anga ndikudalira.
Mayi akhoza kuzindikira mwadzidzidzi kuti iye ndi mkazi wake sali ofanana, ndipo kuti kupambana kwake sikuli kofanana ndi kupambana kwake.
Kuwombola munthu chifukwa cha "chitsanzo cha kukongola", mumayesa kuwononga chiyanjano: musiyeni amve kuti simumkonda iye ndi inu, kuunika kwa ena n'kofunika kwambiri. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amachititsa akaziwa kuti azitsutsa: moyo sagwira ntchito, chikhalidwe - kunja ndi kuunika kwa ena, ubale wawo, chikondi - chatsekedwa.
Ndikufuna munthu yemwe akuchita nawo masewera olimbitsa thupi, ali ndi ubweya wabwino, tsitsi, kupukuta minofu, kusamalira zovala, nthawi zonse amaganizira za maonekedwe ake.
Mwamuna ndi wovuta kwambiri kwa iye mwini, amadziwonetsera yekha ndi zofuna zake komanso zovuta kuti asakwaniritse zofunikirazi, motero amawonetsa osakhutira kwambiri ngati kukwiya.
Kusagwirizana ndi maonekedwe ake ndi zovuta kuchita poyang'anira chikhalidwe chake cha mkati - mwinamwake mukusowa thandizo la katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti munthu wanu adzikhulupirire mwa iyemwini ndikumverera kuti ndi ofunika ndikuzindikira chomwe chiri.
Mwamuna wanga amakhulupirira kuti iye ndi chomwe ali, ndi kuti ayenera kukondedwa chifukwa cha moyo ndi malingaliro, koma kunja sikulibe kanthu.
Mwamuna amachititsa mkazi kukhala wovutitsidwa ndi "chiyanjano choipa" ndi zinthu zakuthupi, sakonda thupi lake, safuna kumusamalira, amadana ndi zokopa zakunja - ndiko kuti, ali ndi mavuto omveka bwino. Kuda nkhawa ndi wosasamala, nayenso, angakonde, koma amayi omwe ali ndi mavuto ena amalingaliro.
Kusagwira ntchito - munthu sangadzisamalire pa chilichonse - ichi ndi udindo wake, amachititsa "nkhondo ndi mfundo" (monga lamulo, munthu woteroyo ndi wopemphapempha).
Wokondedwa wanga ali ndi thumba laling'ono, amatha kugula kansalu kakang'ono. Kamodzi pa sabata amapita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi, amayang'ana zovala zake. Zinthu izi ndi zofunika kwa iye, koma si chipembedzo. Iye amasangalala ndi mawonekedwe ake, koma akuzindikira kuti m'zaka zake akufunikira kudziyang'anira yekha.
Uyu ndi munthu wokwanira , amamvetsera maganizo a mkazi wake, koma samachita za iye. Samalani ngati mukufuna kusintha chinachake mmenemo. Ngati ubale wanu ndi wabwinobwino komanso wathanzi, mumagwedezeka pang'ono kuchokera ku mawu oti "sintha chinachake mkati mwake." Ngati mau awa sakukupweteka, mwinamwake mukuyembekeza kutsogolera munthu wanu ndi kujambulira chinachake mwa inu nokha. Chizoloŵezi chotere mu ubale ndi chabwino sichibweretsa: ngati mukwaniritsa cholinga chanu, mudzalandira "mwana" kapena "kapolo" osati munthu.