Koma "ana" ndi "zidzukulu" zomwezo zimagwirizana kwambiri ndi lingaliro la "chikwati chokwatirana" ndipo amasankha mgwirizano woterewu ndi maubwenzi a boma, okonzedwa ndi sitampu pasipoti, kawirikawiri.
Zifukwa zomwe zimalimbikitsa achinyamata kuti asamadzimangirire ndizogwirizana ndilamulo ndizosiyana. Amuna ali ndi ufulu wokonda ufulu, omwe safuna kudzimangiriza okha ndi maudindo alionse. Ngakhale atakwaniritsa maudindowa, ndi kosavuta kuti iwo achite popanda kukakamizidwa.
Akazi ndi ovuta kwambiri. Mkazi wosadziwika amaika chikhalidwe choyambirira pa chiyanjano choyambirira chaukwati walamulo, chifukwa ndiye akhoza kutaya wokondedwa wake mosavuta yemwe mwachidziwikire sagwirizana nazo.
Makhalidwe abwino a amayi kuukwati wa boma amakhudzidwa ndi ukwati wawo mobwerezabwereza. Nthawi zina zoyipa za "mgwirizano walamulo" zimasonyeza kuti ndi zotetezeka komanso zosavuta kukhala ndi wokondedwa popanda ntchito. Kuonjezera apo, izi zimapangitsa ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kukhala woopsa komanso wozindikira, chifukwa nthawi iliyonse pamakhala mantha omwe mmodzi angatenge ndikuchoka. Ndipo ngakhale zitachoka, ndiye pali zowonjezerapo - sipadzakhala tepi yonse yofiira yomwe imaphatikizapo ndondomeko ya kusudzulana.
Ndizosatheka kunena za otchedwa akazi omasuka. Iwo akhala atasiya kuchita ntchito zonse zomwe amai akuyenera kuchita muukwati. Iwo ali odziimira okha, amadzitaya okha, ndalama zawo ndi nthawi pawokha paokha ndipo safunikira munthu wopeza ndalama, amene poyamba ankamuona ngati mutu wa banja ndi wopereka chakudya. Ndipo ngakhale amayi omwewa amafunanso mwamuna wolimba ndi wachikondi pafupi ndio, ukwati mwa malingaliro awo ndi mawonekedwe omwe amabweretsa mavuto osafunikira, chifukwa sangasiye ntchito, njira yawo ya moyo ndipo ngakhale mwanayo sangasinthe vutoli.
Azimayi ochuluka omwe amasankha ubale wawo ndi abambo a chidziwitso chabwino cha anthu, otchedwa olemekezeka. Pokhala wobadwira popanda ndalama, omwe ali ndi phindu lonse la chitukuko, akazi a mderali nthawi zambiri safuna kuchepetsa ufulu wawo. Kusiya chifukwa chachikulu cha mabanja ambiri, omwe ndi ndalama, amachititsa ubale weniweniwo pamtima wa chiyanjano.
Zokongola ngati zikhoza kuwoneka, ndizozoloŵera m'magulu a ndalama zochepa kuti azivomereze maubwenzi ndipo ndi amodzi mwa akazi omwe chiwerengero cha amayi omwe sali pabanja ndi apamwamba kwambiri. Choyamba, izi ndi chifukwa chakuti ambiri a iwo akuwona cholinga chawo polenga banja, muukwati. Koma osati ndi anthu onse ndi mabanja olimba. Mkwati ukatha ndipo ndalama zonse zikagwiritsidwa ntchito, mphindi ya choonadi imabwera - mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku, omwe, monga momwe akudziwira, mabwato okonda ambiri asweka.
Choncho, maphunziro a miyambo yodalirika, chikhumbo chofuna kukhala munthu wolemera kapena lingaliro la mwana wam'tsogolo, yemwe ali ndi ufulu wokhala "wotsimikiziridwa ndi lamulo" amatanthawuza zonsezi kuwonetsa malingaliro oipa a amayi ku chikwati cha boma, pamene kupuma kungachitike. Akazi oterewa amawoneka mozama kwambiri, akulimbikitsanso mavuto omwe angabweretse mavuto azachuma. Koma monga momwe chiwonetsero chikuwonetsera, ukwati wokhazikika siwotsimikizirika kuti ndi wabwino, ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, ubale wa nthawi yaitali. Zambiri zimadalira amuna ndi akazi okhaokha komanso pamasomphenya awo pazokha. Maganizo a amayi ndi omveka - nthawi zambiri amadziwika kuti ndi osatetezeka komanso amatsutsidwa, monga momwe okwatirana amachitikira chitsanzo chabwino m'dera lathu, ndipo amayi omwe alibe ana amamvera.