Amuna ambiri amakhulupirira kuti ubale umenewu ndi nthano - chifukwa pafupifupi akazi onse amakumana ndi zilakolako za kugonana ndi mphamvu zosiyana. Koma kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti palibe mgwirizano pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi? Kapena mwinamwake iye amangosiyana ndi chibwenzi cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha?
Pali sayansi yotere - psychology of relations. Amayang'ana machitidwe osiyanasiyana aumunthu, kuphatikizapo chidwi kwambiri kwa ife - kugonana.
Kugonana kumatanthauza chiyanjano chilichonse pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, momwe kugonana kwa mnzanuyo kumakhudzira.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngakhale ubale wamalonda ungakhale wogonana ngati maganizo a munthu ngati wantchito kapena bwana akuphatikizidwa ndi malingaliro ake monga wogonana, i. amuna kapena akazi. Ndipotu, uwu ndiwo mgwirizano wofala kwambiri wa bizinesi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Pachifukwa ichi, anthu omwe ali ndi chizoloŵezi chogonana sangawonongeke kapena akugona kwambiri.
Kuchokera pakuwona kwa sayansi iyi, ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi umodzi mwa njira zochepetsetsa zogonana. Mbiri yake ndi mutu wa nkhani yapadera, tidzakambirana za chiyambi chake.
Choyamba, tiyeni tikumbukire kuti chibwenzi chomwechi ndi chiyanjano.
• Amzanga amalankhulana wina ndi mnzake chifukwa ali ndi zofunikanso.
Iwo ali ndi chidwi ndi chinthu chomwecho kapena iwo ali ndi chidwi chochita chinachake palimodzi: kusonkhanitsa timampampu, kukambirana zachinsinsi, kumenyana ndi malupanga a matabwa, ndi zina zotero.
• Amzanu amakhulupirira wina ndi mnzake.
Iwo sachita mantha kuti adziwonetsana wina ndi mzake "mu suti yolakwika", chifukwa amadziwa kuti wina sadzayamba kunyozetsa wina. Sadzilembera okha m'mabuku awo olembera kapena m'magulu ogulidwa kapena mowa.
• Mabwenzi samaganizirana kuti "akuyenera".
Iwo samakonza masewera, ngati wina akukonza phwando kapena kanyumba, ndipo wina akunena kuti sangathe kapena sakufuna kupita. Kapena ngati wina atauza mnzake kuti sangathe kuthandizira chilichonse. Sangathe ndipo sakufuna ku_mzawo yemwe amamudziwa bwino.
• Mabwenzi samakondana wina ndi mnzake.
Kupambana kwa wina sikukhala tsoka la wina. Komanso, nthawi zambiri mabwenzi amasangalala mosangalala ndi kupambana kwa wina ndi mzake.
• Mabwenzi amamverera ogwirizana.
Iwo sangakhoze kufotokoza chikhalidwe cha mgwirizano uwu, koma izi ndi zomwe makolo athu adatchula kuti "chiyanjano". Ubale umenewu umagwirizana ndi mgwirizano wa banja komanso mgwirizano, koma ndi wosiyana nawo.
• Mabwenzi ali ndi moyo wosiyana.
Okonda amakonza miyoyo yawo ndi diso kwa wina ndi mzake ndi mu chiwerengero cha "kugwirizana." Anzanu amakhala okha. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti iwo sangagwirizane pa chinachake.
• Amzanga amalankhulana nthawi zonse.
Kulankhulana kokhazikika kumathandizira kulankhulana kwawo. Apo ayi, tsoka, imatha.
Uwu ndi chiyanjano, chibwenzi chofanana. Chimodzimodzinso pa ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, ndi chikhalidwe chimodzi choonjezera: mmodzi kapena onse awiri akufuna china, koma pazifukwa zina sagonana. Chinachake monga chikondi cha Plato ...
Zimatuluka bwanji?
Wolemba S. Chekmayev m'buku la "Vesukha" amanena kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi akadziŵa kuti palibe chomwe chidzakhala pakati pawo, ubale wawo umakhala wokhulupirira kwambiri.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti, kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, monga machitidwe a kugonana, zimakhalapo ngati mwamuna akufuna mkazi, amadziwa kuti "sawala," koma amamukonda kwambiri monga munthu ndipo anasankha kusangalala ndi iye. Pang'onopang'ono, kulankhulirana mukulankhulana uku kumakula kwambiri, ndipo ubwenzi ndi zikhalidwe zake zonse zimachitika, kuphatikizapo "bwenzi limathandiza nthaŵi zonse."
Chifukwa chiyani ndikuti mwamuna ndi mbali yogwira ntchito?
Chowonadi n'chakuti amayi ambiri amakondwera kuti azisangalala ndi njira zonse zoyankhulirana, choncho chisangalalo cha kulankhulana ndi munthu monga munthu ndizofala. Amuna sagwirizana kwambiri ndi machitidwe osiyanasiyana, kuphatikizapo kugonana; Ndi anthu ochepa okha omwe angathe kupeza chisangalalo kwa iwo. Popeza kupanga chiyanjano chokwanira kumafuna kutenga mbali kwa onse awiri, mkaziyo ayenera kuyembekezera mwachidwi, ngati pali mwamuna yemwe ali ndi khalidwe lomwe talongosola pamwambapa.
Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti maphwando amvetsetse kuti kukondana wina ndi mzake sikukutanthauza kuti sitingathe kukhala pachibwenzi. Sizinthu zowonongeka chabe za thupi, chigawo chomwe chimasiyanitsa ubwenzi wa kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
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