Mwina, ndizabwino kukhulupirira kuti ngati mwamuna akufuna kugonana kokha, ali m'chikondi. Zonsezi, malingaliro akuwonetseredwa osati kumakopeka kwa nyama. Ichi, choyamba, ndiko kugwirizana kwa mizimu, chikhalidwe cha zofuna ndi zofuna, malingaliro ndi zolinga. Ndipo kodi mwamuna amene akufuna kuchokera kwa mkazi amangogonana? Nchifukwa chiyani amachita izi ndi zomwe zimalimbikitsa zochita zake ndi zikhumbo zake? Ndipotu, pakhoza kukhala mayankho osiyanasiyana. Pamapeto pake, musaganize kuti anyamata akuchita chiwerewere popanda kudzipereka, chifukwa cha kugonana. Inde, izi ndizokhumba zawo, komabe, pazochitika zoterozo, anyamata samatsogoleredwa ndi chilakolako. M'malo mwake, zingakhale zopweteka. Amayi akamakonda mosiyana, amayesa kudziiwala okha, koma, amakhalabe ndi malingaliro komanso amakhala okhulupirika kwa omwe amamukonda. Ndipo amuna amayesa kuiwala. Ndipo kugonana, nthawi zambiri, ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yomwe amakhalira ndi zilakolako zawo m'moyo. Koma kokha, nthawi zambiri, chirichonse chimapita mophweka momwe ife tingafunire. Ubwenzi wotero ukhoza kumupweteka mtsikana yemwe amagawana naye pabedi ndi usiku wake wosungulumwa. Eya, mayi amamvetsa komanso amagawana udindo: kugonana, chifukwa cha kugonana. Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ngati ayamba kuona chinthu chapadera mu izi, kuyesa kupeza malingaliro omwe, kwenikweni, alibe kwathunthu kumeneko. Mwamwayi komanso mwachisangalalo, kugonana ndiko, komabe, sikutulutsa mavuto onse. Mwamuna akhoza kugona ndi mkazi yemwe, ndikupepesa chifukwa chokhala wamwano, anali pafupi. Koma iye adzalingalirabe, ndikuyimira chimodzimodzi, chimodzi chokha, chifukwa chake akuzunzidwa komanso akuvutika.
Amayi ambiri amatsutsa anyamata kukhala osowa, chifukwa amachita zinthu ngati izi. Atsikana amakhulupirira kuti ngati mwamuna amasankha kugonana pofuna kugonana, sangathe kukondana mwachindunji. Inde, pali anthu omwe nthawi zonse amakhala okondweretsedwa ndi zosangalatsa zakuthupi komanso okha. Koma, ngakhale kuti malingaliro ambiri amavomereza, amenewa, kwenikweni, ndi ochepa. Ndipo amuna ambiri amakonda kugona ndi omwe amakukonda. Kapena amagona ndi wina kuti aiwale za omwe amamukonda. Choncho, ngati mnyamatayo atapereka kugonana, mungakhale otsimikiza kuti ali pachikondi. Koma, mwatsoka, osati konse mwa inu. Ngakhale sikuli zomvetsa kuvomereza, simuli wachinyamata yemwe ndi wapadera komanso wapadera. Ndiko kuti mumamukopa ngati mkazi, ndipo, mwinamwake, wokongola ngati munthu ndi mnzanu. Koma, palibe kenanso. Ngati mtsikana atchulidwa kuti amamukonda kwambiri, sakanatha kumanga ubale wina payekha. Ngakhale kuti pali lingaliro lakuti chikondi chimatha, inde, ndi cholakwika. Amuna ambiri amanyazi kusonyeza mbali iyi ya chikhalidwe chawo. Koma, monga mukudziwa, chikondi chimagwira ntchito ndi onse. Ndicho chifukwa chake, n'zotheka kunena mosapita m'mbali kuti mnyamata yemwe ali pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana adzaika kugonana kumbuyo kwake.
Inde, sadzaleka kukhala wofunikira kwa amuna, koma, poyamba, munthuyo adzayesera kukwaniritsa zofuna zanu zauzimu. Ngati izi sizikuchitika ndipo mutangokhala pabedi, ndiye kuti nkofunika kusankha zomwe mukufuna kuchokera ku chibwenzi. Ngati mutangokhala chete, musadandaule ndipo mutha kupitiliza "mgwirizano" womwewo. Koma ngati mutayamba kulingalira za momwe mnyamata uyu angakhalire chibwenzi kapena mwamuna wanu, muyenera kuganiza. Chowonadi ndi chakuti pali mwayi wochepa kwambiri kuti mnyamatayo adzakondabebe. Inde, musakane kuti pali mitundu yonse. Koma, nthawi zambiri, maubwenzi oterewa amangogonana okhaokha. Choncho, ngati mukumva kuti mumayamba kukondana, ndi bwino kusiya chirichonse mwamsanga. Inde, zidzakhala zovuta kwa inu nthawi yoyamba. Koma, ndikukhulupirirani, ndibwino kuti ndiwononge ubwenzi umenewo pa mpesa. Zimapweteka kwambiri komanso zimawopsya kuzindikira kuti mumakonda munthu amene amakuwonani chidole chogonana, chinthu, ndi zina. Mwachibadwidwe, aliyense amasankha yekha yekha tsoka, komabe sizingachitike bwino. Komabe, nthawi zambiri, kugonana ndiko kupitiriza chikondi, osati mosiyana. Kumbukirani izi pamene maganizo achikondi amabwera m'maganizo mwanu kuti zonse zidzasintha ndipo adzakukondani. Inde, sindikutsutsana ngati mkazi ali wabwino kugonana, ndizofunika kwa mwamuna. Pazomwezi sizingakhale zofunika. Wokondedwa akhoza kuphunzitsidwa, koma wodziwa zambiri sangathe kukondedwa nthawi zonse. Choncho, poyesera kukondweretsa mnyamata, musamangoganizira za kugonana. Komabe, amuna amatha kuyamikira nzeru, kuwongolera, kuseketsa ndi makhalidwe ena ambiri omwe atsikana okondweretsa ali nawo.
Anthu amzeru ndi odziwa bwino amanena kuti ubale sunamangidwepo pa kugonana, ngakhale zabwino. Ngati malingaliro akutha ndipo bedi limakhala maziko, posakhalitsa maanja ndi maukwati oterewa amatha. Lolani amuna ndi kuika kugonana pa malo oyamba pazochita zawo, koma amafunanso kutentha, kumvetsetsa, kuthandizira ndi kusamalira.
Inde, anyamatawa amafunadi chikondi, ngakhale atakana izi ndikuseka kuseka koteroko. Ndipotu, amangofuna kutsimikizira wina ndi mnzake mphamvu zawo ndi kubisa maganizo enieni. Koma ndi chibwenzi, mnyamata amaiwala za maski ake. Iye akhoza kungomukumbatira iye ndipo adzakhala wokondwa kale.
Ngati mwamuna akufuna kugonana kokha, ali pachibwenzi ndi mkazi wosiyana. Muyenera kuvomereza nokha ndi kuvomereza. Apo ayi, zotsatira zake zingakhale zovuta kwambiri. Mwachidule, akazi samakhulupirira kuti kugonana sikungayambitse chikondi. Ndipo amuna ndi abwino kungochita zogonana, osaganizira chilichonse, ndikuyesera kuiwala za zochitika. Ndicho chifukwa chake simuyenera kudzisangalatsa nokha kuti wokondedwa wanu akhale mnzanu wa moyo. Ndi bwino kupeza munthu wina amene angakupatseni zosangalatsa zakuthupi, komanso chikondi cha chikondi.