Kunyozeka, ngati mvula yamkuntho mwadzidzidzi, ndi kovuta kufotokozera. Koma simudzakhumudwitsidwa chifukwa cha vagaries nyengo, chabwino? Kotero ziri pano: ingophunzira kugwiritsa ntchito "ambulera ya maganizo" panthawi yoyenera. Inu mukuwoneka kumvetsa bwino chirichonse: ndikuti inu simukunyengerera kwa inu chifukwa ndinu woipa, koma chifukwa wolakwira yekhayo amva chisoni mumtima. Ndipo kuti iwe unangogwera pansi pa dzanja lotentha. Ndipo kuti zochitika za dzira sizothandiza. Inde, ndipo ndi kudzidalira, muli bwino. Nanga mungadziteteze bwanji kuzinyadira, kuzunzika kwa mnzako, kusakhudzidwa ndi oyenda anzawo komanso achibale awo oipa?
Tangoganizani zomwe munanyozedwa. Mwayendetsa ora limodzi pamutu wa chochitika ichi chopusa, mumabwera ndi mayankho amatsenga omwe angawononge olakwira pomwepo. Ndipo inu mukuzunzidwa ndi chowonadi kuti kwenikweni inu munkachita mosiyana mosiyana: inu munali kutaya mtima, mukulira, mukugwedeza chinachake chosamveka. Inde, zosayembekezereka, zosafunikira, zovuta "kugunda" zolimba zimalira. Koma n'zotheka kuphunzira kukhalabe wongwiro mkati mwake. Ndiyeno kupusa kwa wina aliyense - kaya ndi woyenda mnzako mwangozi, bwana, wogwira nawo ntchito, kapena ngakhale wokondedwa - sangakugwetseni inu kunja kwa chiphunzitsocho. Maganizo anu sangadalire ndi kunyozedwa kwa mnzako, nkhanza kapena wosakhutira. Vomerezani, chifukwa cha zotsatira izi, ndi bwino kuyesetsa ndikugwira ntchito nokha!
Kunyada - kuzindikira, kulakwitsa, kulunjika - ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mawonetseredwe achiwawa. Ndipo ngati simukugwedezera zida zanu m'mudzi mwathu, mungathe kukwera mumasitima, komanso pa "chophimba" cha mkuphi, ngakhale m'banja lanu. Mu psychology pali mawu otere: kusokonezeka maganizo. Matenda owopsawa ndi mliri wamasiku ano. Osati atsogoleri okha omwe ali ndi maudindo amakhudzidwa, komanso ogwira ntchito anzawo. Iwo omwe ali muutumiki wa ntchito nthawizonse amakumana ndi anthu. Kutopa kuchokera ku anthu osatha, kufunika kosalekeza "kuthetsa" mikangano ndikumangika. Ndipo ngati munthu sakudziwa kuwombera bwino, ndiye kuti akhoza kuyenda m'njira yosavuta: "tsanulirani" maganizo ake pamitu ya ena. Monga lamulo, yemwe alibe zifukwa zina, kupatula kunyenga, ndi wamwano. Ndipo nkhanza zikuwonetsedwa ndi munthu amene ali ndi mantha kwambiri. Cholinga chachikulu cha abambo - kaya ndi wogulitsa malonda kuchokera ku "soviet" deli kapena mwamuna wolemekezeka mu suti ya Prada - ndi imodzi: kunyalanyaza wina, kuwonjezeranso kufunika kwake.
Nchifukwa chiyani zikukumamatira?
Perekani mtima, tiyeneranso kuvomereza: Nthawi zambiri, anthu ogwira ntchito pamsewu amakwaniritsa zolinga zawo. Timadzimveradi manyazi, tiphika ndi mkwiyo - mwa mawu, timayesedwa. Chifukwa chiyani? Poyamba, kunyenga kumawoneka kuti kumakhala malo athu pansi pa dzuwa. Ife, ndi kulera kwathu, khalidwe labwino, malingaliro abwino, tikungoganizira za asphalt ndi ena osakhutira. Chachiwiri, abusawo amakonda kugwira ntchito kwa anthu onse. Kawirikawiri sakhala achipongwe poyera, ndipo pamene mboni - pamsewu, mumsewu wodzaza anthu ambiri, m'chipindamo ndi anzako. Ndipo kuchititsidwa manyazi pamaso pa anthu, monga momwe kumadziwira, kumakhala kovuta kwambiri.
Malingana ndi chiphunzitso cha American psychoanalyst Eric Berne, mwa aliyense wa ife anthu atatu "amakhala": Mwana, Parent, Wamkulu. Ndipo, malinga ndi kukula kwa mkati, muyeso kapena mkhalidwe wina timasankha chimodzi mwa mitundu itatu ya makhalidwe. Choncho, anthu ambiri amachitira mwano ndi anansi awo kuchokera kumalo a mwana (udindo wa wogwidwa, kudzipatula yekha, samoyedstvo ndi kupopera kosatha pamutu wa zomwe zinachitika) kapena kuchokera ku malo a Parent (chitetezo chogwira ntchito ndi kubwezera chilango). Ndipo mu izo, ndipo mu mulandu wina, a roughen amene anakusokonezani inu amapambana basi. Ndipotu, kunyozedwa kwake kunakugwirani inu amoyo, mumakhala osayenerera, mwa kuyankhula kwina, mumagwira zolakwika za wina. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti malo abwino kwambiri otetezera kusagwirizana ndi malo a akuluakulu. Ngati mwanayo ali ndi mantha komanso akuvutitsidwa ndi makolo, ndiye kuti zomwe Achikulire akuchita sizilowerera ndale. Pamene muli pamalo a Munthu Wamkulu, dzuŵa limawalira mu moyo wanu - ziribe kanthu momwe mabingu ndi mphezi zingaponyedwe ndi anthu oyandikana nawo. Munthu wamkulu amakhala ndi chitetezo cha m'maganizo mwamphamvu, choncho wina amamunyoza ngati tsekwe ndi madzi. Kuchitidwa zopanda pake sikusokoneza ulemu wake ndipo sikukukhudzanso kudzidalira kwake. Choncho, munthu wotereyo sakhala wachifundo mwa njira ina iliyonse, kapena mwamsanga amaika munthu wonyadayo pamalo ndi mawu amodzi kapena awiri. Ndizo zonse. Nkhondoyo yatha.
Kodi chitetezo chabwino ndi chiyani?
Ife tonse ndife aphunzitsi kwa wina ndi mzake, monga akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena. Anthu osakhalitsa ndi zochitika m'moyo sizichitika. Ndipo chomwe chimatikopa kwambiri ndi mantha athu ndi zovuta. Kuchokera pamalingaliro awa, wogwira naye ntchito amene akugunda kapena wopondereza amakhala galasi la dziko lathu lokha. Ndipo kawirikawiri galasilo limasonyeza zomwe ifeyo tilibe. Mwachitsanzo, msungwana wanzeru wamanyazi akukwera njinga yamatabwa yambiri-mmodzi mwa iwo omwe angagwire ozizira pansi pa ndondomeko m'malo mofuna kutseka zenera. Amayesetsa kukhala ndi malo ochepa ngati angathere, atayimilira pamlendo umodzi, malinga ngati palibe amene amalepheretsa. Ndipo ndithudi padzakhalanso azakhali omwe adzakankhira msungwana wamng'ono wochepetsetsayu ndi dzanja logwedeza kumbali yakutali, adzakweza miyendo yake yonse, ndipo adzalowera kumbali. Ndipo mtsikanayo kale ali ndi ululu wapweteka maso ake ndi kunjenjemera m'malo amvula. Koma kwenikweni, zikutheka kuti vutoli ndi agogo aakazi amapatsidwa kwa mtsikanayo kuti aphunzire potsiriza kuteteza gawo lake, kutanthauzira momveka bwino ndikutsimikizira kuti "ayi" ndipo osadzipweteka yekha. Choncho, mmalo mokwiya chifukwa cha kusalungama kwa moyo, ndibwino kudzifunsa nokha: "Kodi izi zimandiphunzitsa chiyani?"
Kodi mungadziteteze bwanji kwa wodwalayo? Inu mukhoza, ndithudi, kuchita mwa njira zake zomwe ndi kuyesa "kuwononga" otsutsa mwa kunena zinthu zambiri zoipa. Koma machenjerero oterewa sali opindulitsa kwambiri. Pochita nkhanza, mumangowonjezera kuchuluka kwa zoipa zomwe mukukumana nazo - ndipo pamapeto pake mumadzigwetsa nokha. Pambuyo phokoso lamwano ndi mawu achipongwe, simungamve bwino. M'malo mwake, mmalo mwake: inu mudzaphwanyidwa ngati mandimu. Ndipo malingaliro a tsiku lonselo adzawonongeka mopanda chiyembekezo.
Anthu ena amagwiritsa ntchito zizindikiro zosiyana, zithumwa, zithumwa monga chitetezo ku zosayenera za wina. Zonsezi ndi zothandiza - monga momwe timakhulupirira mwa iwo. Ndipo izi zimagwira ntchito pano, m'malo mwake, osati mphamvu yakuchiritsa ya amulet monga chikhulupiriro chathu chomwe chimatiteteza. Khalani monga momwe zingathere, ziyenera kukumbukiridwa kuti zikhumbo zilizonse zakunja zimapanga zokhazokha zokha. Ndipo tikhoza kukhala otetezeka kwenikweni, pokhapokha polimbikitsa kuteteza kwathu mkati.
Kugonjetsa konseko
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mphamvu ya umunthu ndi kukhwima mkati ndi momwe ife timabwezeretsa mwamsanga maganizo athu pambuyo pa zochitika zosasangalatsa. Mukhoza kuchita zambiri momwe mukufunira pakuchita, powonetsa kuyang'ana mwachikondi. Koma ngati mkati mumadzudzula mkwiyo kapena kuchoka ku mantha, wodwalayo adzamva ndithu. Choncho, ngati mukufuna kuti kunyalanyaza kuwonongeke pamoyo wanu, yonjezerani kudzidalira nokha ! Munthu wodalirika wobwereranso ndi mawonekedwe otseguka sivuta kuti asiye. Phunzirani kuyenda ngati kuti muli ndi korona pamutu mwanu. Mmawa uliwonse mutadzuka, muziika pamutu mwanu, mvetserani zakukhosi kwanu ndipo musaiwale kuyang'ana mkhalidwe wamkati wa "mfumukazi" masana. Ndi "cholemetsa" chomwecho mwadala kapena mwakachetechete mukuwongolera mapewa anu. Ndipo pokumana ndi zinthu zosayembekezereka, yesetsani kulingalira zomwe zili kunja. Zili ngati inu-si inuyo, koma munthu wina wosadziwika kwa inu komanso osasamala. Chiwonetsero choterechi chimathandiza kuchepetsa msinkhu wa zowawa ndikuzindikira mkhalidwewu ndi ulemu, kupeza njira yopanda malire. Kusokonezeka, osayanjanitsidwa ndi yankho loyenera? Kwenikweni, simukuyenera kukangana ndi wozunza mu wit. Muli ndi ufulu wosayankha konse. Mwa njirayi, pakadali pano, ngati mutanyalanyaza zida zake, wodwalayo amatha kutaya chidwi mwachangu.
Ndipo kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo chifukwa chake anthu amapeza chisangalalo chowoneka ndi anthu ena? Inde, iyi ndi mutu wa nkhani yapadera, kotero tiyeni tiyikire mwachidule. Muzinthu zozizwitsa pali chinthu monga mphamvu vampirism. Musaope, Kuwerengera Dracula lingaliro ili liribe kanthu koti lichite! Chowonadi n'chakuti anthu omwe ali ndi mphamvu zofooka (amatchedwanso aura) nthawi zonse amayang'ana mphamvu zopereka mphamvu kuchokera kwa anthu ena. Anthu ena amalandira izo mwa chikondi ndi chisamaliro. Ndipo anthu omwe ali ndi khalidwe loipa, amene palibe amene amamukonda - kudzera mwachinyengo ndi nkhanza. Pamene mphamvu ya "wozunzidwa" ikuchitidwa mwamphamvu, kaya imakhala yowonongeka kapena misonzi, hamamu imakhala bwino mwathupi! Ndipo ngati zomwe munthuyo akunyozedwa siziripo (udindo wa akuluakulu), ndiye kuti boor ataya chidwi chonse. Chifukwa sichikulimbikitsidwa ndi mphamvu zake. Amabwerera ndipo amasintha munthu wina.
Chida chabwino chotsutsana ndi boor ndizoseketsa. Ngati simukudziwa choti mukanene - kumwetulira. Modzichepetsa, momasuka, mwaulemu. Kufufuzidwa: kumathandizadi. Munthu wododometsa ndithu ali wamphamvu kuposa munthu yemwe nkhope yake imasokonezedwa ndi galimoto. Kukhumudwitsa kumachotsa mikangano, kumapweteketsa munthuyo, kumamupangitsa. Ndiyeno, tikamamwetulira, zinthu zosasangalatsa zimasiya kuoneka ngati zofunika kwambiri. Inu mukuyang'ana-ndipo chonyansa chidzasokonezeka pa zokha, ngakhale chosasangalatsa cholembera sichingakhalebe!
Limbitsani malire anu enieni!
Pamene muli amwano opanda chifukwa ndi kuyesa kukhumudwitsa, ntchito yanu yaikulu sikuti muzitha kukhumudwitsana ndi kusungulumwa.
1. Tulukani mu chigawo cha nkhondo. Ndipo m'lingaliro lenileni: kuchoka m'chipinda kapena kuchoka pamtunda pang'ono. Yesetsani kuti musamayambe kutsogolo kwa wozunza, ndibwino kuti muime pambali. Ndi pang'ono pokha mzimu wake womenyana.
2. Tetezani! Kulimbana ndi malire a "I" wake ndiwowoneka mwachibadwa ndi wachirengedwe - sichikugwirizana ndi kusamala. Ngati mwadzidzidzi mulole kuti grubby amvetsetse kuti sakufuna kumumvera chisoni chake, chilakolako chake mwa iye chidzachepetsedwa kwambiri.
3. Simungathe kuwonongeka ngati madzi. Pitirizani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, omangidwa pa mfundo yoyesera. Tangoganizani kuti mwatsukidwa kuchokera kumutu mpaka kumaso kwa mtsinje wa madzi oyera. M'miyambo yonse, madzi amawonedwa ngati chizindikiro cha chiyero ndipo, panthawi yomweyo, mphamvu. Ndipo izi sizowopsa, chifukwa madzi sangatheke. Ziribe kanthu momwe wolakwirayo amamubaya kapena kumugunda, iye sangapambane. Chitsime choyera sichitha kuwonongeka ndi kutaya mawu wonyansa mkati mwake - dothi lonse limangosambitsidwa. Tangoganizani kuti mumakhala ndi madzi oyera, mumalimbitsa mphamvu zanu. Kotero, wolakwira sangathe kudyetsa mphamvu yako ya moyo. Komanso, mungadziyerekeze nokha pansi pa madzi ozizira.
4. Sambani zolakwikazo. Tsopano kwenikweni. Sambani (osati kusamba!) - mu nthawi yovuta, madzi othamanga amathandiza kuthetsa mikangano, samalola "kumangiriza" za zolakwika pamtundu wa thupi. Kuwonjezera apo, kuthamanga madzi enieni kumakhudza thupi ndi mphamvu.
5. Limbikitsani aura yanu. Lero pali umboni wokhutira kuti munthu aliyense amapanga mafunde ena amphamvu - mphamvu zawo zikhoza kuwerengedwa ndi kuthandizidwa ndi zipangizo zamapadera. Kumaphunziro a kummawa, mafundewa amatchedwa aura. Ndipotu, iyi ndi malo anu, gawo lanu lomwe simunalipeze. Tsekani maso anu ndi kuyesa kuyembekezera mtundu wa mtundu woyera wokongola umene ukufalikira kuchokera kumbali zonse. Ngati muchita bwino ndikuphunzira momwe mungasunge fano lanu laumwini pamutu panu, anthu oyandikana nawo sadzasokoneza malire anu: osati mwathupi, kapena m'maganizo.
Khalani mbuye wanu "Ine"
Chimene timaganizira kwambiri, chomwe timaganizira komanso kulankhula, chikuwonjezeka. Chimene sitimayang'anitsitsa chikufooketsa. Lamulo la moyo uno limagwira ntchito ndi ulemu. Sitikufuna kuti anthu ena azichita zinthu mwankhanza - musayambe kuchita nawo zoipa, musakambirane ndi anzanu zomwe zimachitika m'mawawa pamsewu kapena potsutsana ndi mwamuna wake. Chotsani malingaliro a malingaliro ndi olakwira awo. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, lekani kuwononga mphamvu yanu pakutumikira zoipa za wina! Kulimbana ndi zida zake zokha kuli ngati kumenyana ndi mphepo. Inde, dzikoli likukonzekera kotero kuti lili ndi nkhanza, nkhanza, kupanda chilungamo. Ndipo mkwiyo wanu pa izi, zolakwika sizidzakhala zochepa. Ndi chinthu china choyenera kukhala ndi udindo payekha. Mwachidziwikire, momwe timachitira ndi chizoloŵezi, amadziŵa kuchuluka kwa mgwirizano ndi wekha. Zindikirani: mbuye wanu wamkati ndi inu ndipo palibe wina. Kotero, iwe ndiwe yekha umasankha chomwe chikhalidwe chanu chidzadalira!
Bwanji ngati mutasiya mitsempha yanu, ngati munakuwa ndi kudzidzimangiriza? Tonse ndife anthu, ndipo aliyense akhoza kuchitika. Kukhala nthawi zonse kulekerera, "koyera ndi fluffy" sikutheka. Koma nkofunika kuti muthe kuchotsa bwino zomwe simunali bwino. Ngati mukumva kuti mwachuluka kwambiri, musayese kukonzekera. Musamayerekeze kuti palibe chomwe chachitika, ndipo musamapangitse munthu kunyengerera. Bwinobwino kuvomereza kulakwitsa kwanu ndikupempha chikhululuko: inde, sindingathe kudziteteza ndekha, tsiku linakhala lolemera, lotopa, perenervnichala. Chonde ndikhululukireni! Munthu akafunsira chikhululukiro chenichenicho ndikufotokozera zolinga za khalidwe, nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa chifundo. Pambuyo mutadzitetezera ku chiwawa, kunyoza kwa mnzako kapena wogulitsa pamsika - wina sayenera kukhala ngati iwo. Khalani okoma mtima - ndipo anthu adzakufikira!