Kaya ndine wokonzeka kukhala mayi? Kodi ndine wolondola ndi mwana wanga? Kodi mwana wanga amandichitira bwanji? Posakhalitsa aliyense akudzifunsa okha mafunso awa. Tinapempha Maria Kashin, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo a banja kuti akambirane za nthawi yofunika kwambiri pa moyo wa mkazi (kukonzekera msonkhano ndi mwana, kubadwa ndi maphunziro). Mwina, nkhaniyi idzakupangitsani kuganiza ndi kusintha khalidwe lanu.
Ndithudi, sikuchedwa kwambiri kukhala mayi. Kotero chikhalidwe cha mkaziyo chikukonzedwa, kuti chibadwa cha amayi amtundu uliwonse chikuwonetsedwa kwa onse oimira gawo labwino la anthu. Ngakhale tsopano simungadziyerekezere ndi wokwera, botolo ndi mwana pokonzekera, sizikutanthauza kuti mu chaka, ziwiri, zitatu, khumi, simudzawona kuti mukufunadi kusintha moyo wanu wonse pamisonkhano ndi munthu wofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanu . Kodi mungamvetse bwanji kuti mwakonzeka (ndipo ngati mukuyembekezera nthawi ino)? Momwe mungakhalire amayi abwino? Kodi mungamvetse bwanji mwana ali ndi nusu? Tiyeni tiyankhe mafunso awa ndi ena ...
NDIFUNA MWANA
Ngati poyamba chilakolako chimenechi chinayambira pakati pa amayi ali ndi zaka 20 mpaka 23, ndiye kuti amayi omwe ali ndi amai ambiri masiku ano ali "okalamba", - akutero Maria Kashina, yemwe ndi katswiri wa maganizo. - Atsikana a m'zaka za m'ma XXI amakhala okonzeka kuti akhale mayi muzaka 27-30. Ndipo izi ndi zachilendo. Udindo wa amayi m'dera lasintha: tiyenera kupeza maphunziro amodzi kapena apamwamba, kupanga ntchito, kusintha anthu ambiri ogonana nawo ndikungosankha kukhala mayi. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, mlingo wamankhwala amakono umalola amayi kubereka mu 30, ndi 40, ndipo ngakhale zaka 50. Koma pakufuna kukula kwa ntchito, nthawi zina timaiwala udindo waukulu wa amayi, wokonzedweratu ndi chikhalidwe chokha. Kukhala mayi ndizovuta komanso zosavuta panthawi yomweyo. Moyo wanu udzasintha. Izi ndi zoona. Koma mmalo mogwira ntchito kuntchito, udzakhala ndi chisangalalo cha kumwetulira koyamba, dzino loyamba, sitepe yoyamba ya mwana wako, ndipo mmalo mwa mtsogoleri wa mtsogoleriyo mudzamva mawu akuti "amayi". Inde, ndipo kubadwa kwa mwana sikungathetse ntchito yanu (sikofunikira kukhala pakhomo mpaka tsiku la 18 la mwana wanu), kapena kusukulu (palibe amene waponya zithunzithunzi za maphunziro), kapena zosangalatsa (agogo, abambo amakulolani kuti mupite ku cinema, malo ogulitsira ndi masitolo, ndipo mu chaka mukhoza kupita kale kutchuthi). Zina mwa mabhonasi a kubadwa - malingaliro atsopano (amayi ambiri pokhapokha atangoyamba kumene mwanayo amayamba kugonana). Kawirikawiri, ngati ana aang'ono samakukhumudwitsani, ngati nthawi zambiri mumayima pazenera ndi zovala za ana ndi masewero - nthawi yanu yafika. Ndipo kukayikira ndi mantha ena ndi zachilendo. Moyo wanu suleka, uli ndi tanthauzo latsopano! "
NDINE WAKADYA KWAMBIRI ...
Zikuwoneka kuti ambiri amafunika kuti amayi azikhala oleza mtima komanso oleza mtima, kukhala pakhomo, kusamalira ana komanso kusunga moto m'banja. Koma amayi onse ali osiyana onse mu chikhalidwe, mu khalidwe, ndi malingaliro awo pa maphunziro abwino a ana. "Ngati, mutapereka mwana wanu chilango, mumadzimvera chisoni, ndiye kuti ndinu mayi wabwino, wokhoza kusinkhasinkha komanso kudziwonetsera," anatero Maria Kashina, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Ana onse ndi osiyana: wina amadziwa njira yolankhulirana yokha, wina amavomereza ndi wina, ndipo wina akuyenera kutaya mkhalidwewo. Ngati mumadyetsa mwana wanu nthawi zonse, muwone boma lake, mumutche dzina lake lachikondi, nthawi zambiri chitsulo ndikumukonda kwambiri - ndiye ndinu mayi wabwino kwambiri. Phunzirani kamodzi kokha. Kuwidwa mtima ndi kusamvetsetsa kuli konse. Kuti mumvetse mmene mungalankhulire bwino ndi mwana wanu, pitani kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo kapena yesani kuyesa khalidwe lanu. Ndi liti pamene munakwanitsa kufika kumvetsetsa ndi mwana wabwino kwambiri? Kodi munachita chiyani ndikuti? Kumbukirani nthawi izi ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito. Ndipo kachiwiri: musadzitsutse nokha chifukwa chakuti mumapita kwinakwake mulibe mwana. Simukusowa kuti mukhale ndi maola 24 tsiku ndi mwana. Amasowa achibale ena (agogo, agogo, abambo, amalume). "
KODI MWANA AMAGANIZIRA CHIYANI?
Mwana wa msinkhu wa msinkhu sangathe kufotokozera zakukumana kwake ndi nkhawa zake, ndipo nkofunika kuti mayi wamng'ono asaphonye nthawi yomwe mwanayo amafunikira kuthandizidwa ndi kuthandizidwa kwake, ndipo ngati akufunikira ufulu wambiri. Kufunsa mafunso otsogolera ndi opanda pake - simungathe kumvetsera kuchokera kwa mwana wanu yankho logwirizana. Ophunzira a sukulu amayesedwa pogwiritsa ntchito kujambula ndi kusewera. Sikuchedwa kwambiri kuti tichite zimenezo.
Chithunzi-Chithunzi "Amayi" Ine
Mwanayo akuitanidwa kudzitengera yekha ndi amayi ake. Tiyeni tiganizire mobwerezabwereza zosiyanasiyana:
a) Amayi ndi mwana ali pakati pa pepala, amagwirana manja, ziwerengero zimakhala zosiyana, zojambula mu mitundu yowoneka bwino ya moyo - ichi ndi njira yabwino yomwe imasonyeza kukhulupilira ndi mgwirizano mu ubale wa banja, mkhalidwe wamtendere ndi wokondweretsa m'nyumba. Zikomo!
b) Mayi ndi mwana amawonetsedwa ngati amodzi, ziwerengero zikuwoneka kuti zimagwirizana - chithunzichi chikulankhula za kugwirizana pakati pa inu ndi mwana, samadzizindikira yekha ngati munthu wosiyana. Ndipo inu? Mwina ndi nthawi yoti "Ine" m'malo mwa khanda "ife"?
c) Amayi amajambulidwa kwambiri, ndipo mwanayo ndi wochepa kwambiri ndipo ali kutali. Izi zimapezeka m'mabanja omwe amayi amatsatira maphunziro ovomerezeka kapena amakhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi ana. Ngati simungathe kusiya ntchito yanu (mwina sikofunika), yesetsani osachepera mphindi 50 patsiku kuti musapatsidwe mwana wanu) kuntchito zapakhomo ndi foni ngakhale m'maganizo!
d) Mwanayo amakopeka kwambiri, ndipo mayi ndi wamng'ono komanso pambali: izi zimasonyeza kuti mayi m'banja ali ndi maudindo apamwamba ndipo alibe ulamuliro woyenera. Ndi nthawi yosonyeza yemwe ali mwini nyumbayo!
Ngati chiwerengero chanu mwachiwerengerocho chiri chosiyana ndi "chotsutsana" kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake (zosiyana ndi d), musathamangire kuganiza. Yang'anani zojambula zina za mwana wanu, mwinamwake vuto silili m'mavuto a maganizo, koma mukulephera kutaya zinthu pa pepala.
Samalani mitundu ya zojambulazo: zimakhulupirira kuti maonekedwe owala kwambiri ndi abwino. Koma pafupi ana onse nthawi zina amakonda mitundu yonse yowala yakuda. Ndipo izi sizisonyezero za mavuto a chipsinjo ndi zakuda, anyamata okha amakopeka ndi kusiyana ndi pepala loyera kapena chifukwa cha chidwi ("Ndingatani ngati ndikudzaza chithunzi chonsecho ndi mtundu uwu?").
Masewero a masewera "Alendo ogwira ntchito."
Sewani ndi mwana pa tsiku lake lobadwa. Alendo anabwera kwa iye (achibale ndi abwenzi), ndipo adzikhala pa tebulo lomwelo. Amene mwanayo adzabzala pafupi ndi iye, ali pafupi ndi iye. Zikuwoneka kuti alendo akhoza kukhala amayi, abambo, agogo, abwenzi, masewuni, ndi zina. Kukhala wokondweretsa, khalani patebulo ndikuyika makapu ndi mbale.
ZOCHITIKA ZA AMAMASI OTHANDIZA
Ira Lukyanova, wakale wa gulu "Wopambana"
Kuchokera ku gulu "Wopambana" ndinasiya ndi chidziwitso chodzipereka ndekha kwathunthu, monga momwe ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinakonzera mwana. Inde, miyezi yoyamba ya mimba inangochitika mwanjira inayake yopanda kuzindikira. Onse anadza pang'onopang'ono. Ndikukumbukira pamene Anechka anabadwa, sindinathe kusankha dzina lake kwa nthawi yaitali. Asanabereke, ndinkafuna kumutcha Sonia. Koma pamene ndinamuwona mwana wanga wamkazi, ndinazindikira kuti sanali Sonya. Anechka atangoyamba kufufuza dziko lapansi, iye adachita zonse zomwe sizingatheke: chirichonse chinali kudzuka, kutsanulira ... Inde, sindinamulole ichi, koma iye sanali wolimba kwambiri naye.
Anastasia Tsvetayeva, wojambula
Pamene ndinakhala ndi pakati, moyo wanga unasintha ndi madigiri 180. Pambuyo pa zonse, kukhala mayi, sikumachedwetsanso kuti mupindule moyo wanu wakale. Ndinakana kuwombera mafilimu angapo, chifukwa ndinazindikira kuti kutenga mwana wopanda nkhawa zosafunika n'kofunika kwambiri kwa ine. Ndipo, mukudziwa, panali nthawi yomwe ndinayamba kumverera kuti ndidzakhala mayi. Ndinayang'ana mwanayo pamakompyuta panthawi ya ultrasound ndikuwona kuti watembenuka. Ndipo ndinaganiza kuti ndisadziwe kugonana kwa mwanayo. Ndinasangalala kwambiri kuti ndili ndi mwana. Ndine wokondwa kwambiri, wosamala komanso wosasamala kwambiri amayi.
Olga Prokofieva, wojambula
Mmodzi wa masewera olimbitsa thupi mu sewero la Maugham adati: "Enafe ndife akazi ambiri, ena ndi amayi." Mwinamwake ndine wamayi, pambuyo pa zonse. Ndipo izi ndi zachilendo. Pamene ndinali ndi pakati ndi Sasha, ndinamva, ndi chisangalalo chotani - kunyamula mwanayo! Kwa Sasha wanga tsopano ndi nthawi yoti mukhale, mkuntho ndi zilakolako. Pali mabomba ndi kupasuka mu ubale wathu. Iye, monga anyamata onse, ndiulesi nthawi zina. Landirani mfundo ya mwamuna ndikufotokozera khalidwe la mwana wake, kudziyika yekha, koma kosatheka, chifukwa ubongo wamwamuna ndi wamkazi umagwira ntchito mosiyana. Choncho ndimayesetsa kuti ndisamamukakamize.