Palibe chimene chimasintha moyo wathu mwadzidzidzi monga maonekedwe a munthu wamng'ono wamng'ono mnyumbamo. Miyezi ingapo yoyambirira sitingathe kudzipunthwitsa kwa mwana kwachiwiri. Koma ngakhale miyezi ingapo yapitayo, ngakhale kuti mimba idali kale moyo wake wokha ndipo imalepheretsa zingwe za nsapato pa nsapato, tikhoza kunena molimba mtima kuti ndife enieni kwathunthu. Sizinali zobvuta kusunga maubwenzi ndi mabanja kwa miyezi 9: Tinasangalala kupita ku mafilimu, kukonza chakudya chamabanja, komanso sabata yatha ngakhale kuti tinkakonda kuvina tango paukwati wa mnzake. Koma atatha kutuluka kuchipatala chakumayi chifukwa cha ubwenzi, mitambo yakuda imakhuthala. "Nthawi iliyonse, pokhala mayi, mkazi amasintha yekha, ndiyeno malingaliro ake a dziko amasintha. Kuwoneka kwa mwanayo, mopanda malire, koyamba, yachiwiri kapena yachitatu, kumatanthauza ulamuliro watsopano wa tsikulo, mantha atsopano, ndi zofuna zatsopano. " Ubale ndi ena umasintha. Kwa kanthawi amayi amatseka m'dziko lake likuchoka kutali ndi abwenzi, achibale komanso ngakhale kwa mwamuna wake, ndipo izi ndi zachibadwa. Miyezi itatu yoyamba mwana atabadwa thupi lathu limagwedezeka kwambiri: chiwerengero cha mahomoni, omwe awonjezeka kawiri pa nthawi yomwe ali ndi mimba, amatsika mofulumira. Amayi achichepere ali achisoni popanda chifukwa, amakwiya, amamva nkhawa zosadziwika. Izi zimakhala zovuta makamaka mwezi woyamba, koma zimakhala zosavuta nthawi zonse. Anthu a ku America amachititsa kuti chibwana cha mwana chikhale choyipa (kumasulira kwaulere - "kukhumudwa chifukwa cha kubadwa kwa mwana"). Posakhalitsa mkazi amazoloŵera udindo wa mayi kwambiri kotero kuti zina zonse zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azikonda - akazi, abwenzi, abwenzi ake apamtima - apite ku ndondomeko yachiwiri ndi yachitatu. Miyezi 3-6 yoyambirira amadziwa kumvetsetsa mwanayo, ndipo izi zimasiya mphamvu zake zonse ndikuziganizira. "
Bwenzi lapamtima
Inu mudaphunzira limodzi pa maphunziro a chinenero ku USA, origami yabwino, anayenda ku Ulaya kwa theka la chaka ndipo, ndithudi, ankagwirizana kwambiri. Koma mutakhala mayi, mnzanu wapamtima sakufuna kumvetsa chifukwa chake mulibe nthawi yokwanira. "Ngati akazi achikulire amakondana ngati azimayi a sukulu (" Munagulitsa, koma simunandiyitane "), mwanayo adzawonedwa ngati razluchnik, ndipo sangathe kufika panthawi yochepa - monga chiwembu. Amayi ndi ofunika kuika patsogolo, kuganiza, ndani amene ali wokondedwa kwambiri kwa iye tsopano - chibwenzi kapena mwana? Ndipo mudzilole kuti mupume muukwati, kuti patapita kanthawi kuti mubwererenso. " Koma sizingatheke kuti muphwanye zipsinjo kwathunthu, makamaka popeza ndi zothandiza kutulutsa mpweya. Musaiwale za mabhonasi ena. Ngati muli ndiwindo la ufulu mu nthawi yanu yotanganidwa, msungwana wanu wosungulumwa amavomereza kugwiritsira ntchito nthawi yanu yokhala ndi inu, kusiyana ndi anzanu, olemedwa ndi ana ndi mwamuna wake. Pofuna kuthetsa vutoli, kambiranani naye poyamba. "Fotokozerani kwa bwenzi lanu kuti muli ndi milandu yambiri, kuti boma lanu lasintha kwambiri ndipo mukutopa kwambiri," akulangiza katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Kenako perekani zikalata zanu, zomwe zikuwonetseratu nthawi yake: "Ndikufuna ndikuwoneni, ndipo Lachitatu usiku ndidzangokhala ndi maola awiri" kapena "Tiyeni tiyitane masabata awiri". Kukonzekera koteroko kumakhala kosavuta kusintha, ngati kulankhulana kumabweretsa chisangalalo. Apo ayi, simukusowa kudumphira nokha ndi kusintha bwenzi lanu, kuti musamukhumudwitse. Dzifunseni nokha, nchifukwa ninji mukuwopa kwambiri kutaya kukhudzana ndi munthu uyu? Ngati ubale wanu wamangidwa pa mfundo yogwirizanitsa "i-ine, i-inu", kodi mukufunikiradi izi? Mulimonsemo, bwenzi lanu liyenera kudzipangira yekha ngati akufuna kulandira mawu anu kapena ayi.
Amzanga-okondana
Pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwanayo, inu nokha popanda kuzindikira, munayamba kukhala mabwenzi ndi abwenzi omwe ali ndi ana. Tsopano iwo ali ndi ulamuliro waukulu pamaso panu, kuposa abwenzi anu osungulumwa. Kulankhulana ndi "anzanga kumakhala ndi chimwemwe" kumathandiza mayi anga kuchepetsa nkhawa kwa mwanayo. " Koma nthawi zina kusinthana ndi zochitika sizikuyenda bwino monga momwe zinalili. Mutu wa mkangano nthawizonse umapezeka: mumasankha ma diapers, i-masewera, mumavotera zakudya zam'chitini, iye-chifukwa cha zakudya zokonza ... "Funso sikuti ndi ndani yemwe ali wolondola komanso yemwe sali, kwenikweni akulerera ana m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Tchulani mutuwu ukhoza kukhala mawu okhwima: "Tonse ndife osiyana." Ngati pali chokhumba, fotokozerani mwatsatanetsatane: "Sindiwatengera ana kuresitilanti, chifukwa ndi iwo sindingathe kumasuka ndikusangalala kuyankhulana nanu." Ngati pangakhale mpikisano pakati pa inu ndi chibwenzi chanu (yemwe ali ndi thumba lapamwamba, tsitsi lake ndilobwino kwambiri, mwamuna ndi wochepa), atabadwa ana, adzathamanga mu kanjira latsopano: mwana wake wakhala pansi, anapita kapena anayamba kulankhula, yemwe anagula zina zambiri za ana, kotero choncho. "Yerekezerani ana ndi zoipa. Ngati khalidwe kapena chitukuko cha mwanayo chimakuchititsani mantha, mawu a mtsikanayo ndi bwino kuzindikira ngati chizindikiro chochita. Ntchito yanu sikutenga kapena kugonana ndi bwenzi lanu, koma kuthandiza mwana wanu mwa kumuwonetsa kwa dokotala m'kupita kwanthawi.
Oasis bwino-wishers
Ngati munapita kukagwira ntchito mwamsanga mwana atabadwa, mwinamwake mumakumana ndi chidzudzulo mumsampha wazimayi okhaokha, omwe sungawerengedwe bwino pamaganizo otsutsa, koma nthawi ndi nthawi amapeza chiganizo cha mawu: "Kodi simunafunire maphunziro a mwana wanu?" Kapena "Kodi mwasankha bwanji kuchoka mwana wakhanda kupita ku chifundo cha mwana wamwamuna!" Zotsutsa zoterezi zimachulukitsa lingaliro ngati mukuzunzidwa nazo. "Anthu ena amanena izi mwa zolinga zabwino, akukufunirani bwino, chifukwa iwo sangadziwe zonse za moyo wanu-ohms. Ngati malingaliro awa akukukhumudwitsani, auzani anzanu za momwe mumamvera ndipo fotokozerani chifukwa chomwe mwatuluka mwamsanga kuchokera ku lamuloli: "Ngati mukanadziwa momwe ndikuvutikira, koma mwamuna wanga posachedwapa wathetsedwa, ndipo tsopano ndikudyetsa banja ndekha." M'magulu a amuna, amayi achichepere akutumizidwanso, koma palibe uthenga wonyalanyaza: "Ndiwe wotani wa ntchito kuyambira pano!" Kuwona kotereku kumakukhudzani inu, ndipo mukuyesera njira zonse kuti mubwezeretse kukhulupilira kwa anzako: mukhale muofesi mpaka mochedwa, mutenge maudindo ambiri ndi yesetsani kuti musalankhule za mwanayo. Zotsatira zake, aliyense amavutika: anzanu omwe amakakamizidwa kuti akulimbikitseni, ndi mwana yemwe alibe amayi okwanira, komanso inuyo. "Ngati muli ndi mwayi wosachepera chaka chimodzi kuti mukhale ndi mwana wanu, muzigwiritsa ntchito. Ngati simuthamangira kugwira ntchito, koma kudzipereka kuti mulere mwana, adzalandira chikhulupiliro chachikulu padziko lapansi panthawiyi, ndipo mungadziwonetse nokha kuti munachita zonse zomwe mungathe. " Palibenso gawo lachitatu la chitukuko cha zochitika, pamene ogwira nawo ntchito akudziyesa kuti palibe chinthu chapadera chomwe chakuchitikirani. Iwo amakuukitsani mopanda mantha pakati pa usiku kuti mufunse komwe dzenje likulirira, kapena kukopa kuti apite kuntchito kumapeto kwa sabata. Mwinamwake mukwaniritse pempholi ndi mano anu, kapena musiye foni. Njira zamtunduwu sizidzathandiza kuti maselo a mitsempha asungidwe, koma kwenikweni mayi woyamwitsa sayenera kudandaula. Choyamba, sankhani nthawi yochuluka yomwe mukufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mu lamuloli. Dzifunseni nokha: Kodi ndingapite kukagwira ntchito patatha miyezi itatu kapena ndikufunika kutenga chaka? Ngati ndipita kunja kwa miyezi itatu, ndimamva bwanji? Ndikachoka ndi ndani? Kodi ndingathe kudzipereka ndekha kuntchito? Pambuyo pokonza ndondomeko yothandizira, lipoti kwa akulu anu ngati fait accompli: "Zidzakhala bwino kwa mwana wanga, banja langa ndi ine ndekha. Ndi bwino kuti mayi wamng'ono akhale wodzikonda, ndipo musamachite manyazi. "
Zochitika za m'banja
Ndi maonekedwe a mwanayo, udindo wa mkazi mkati mwa banja umasintha. Nthawi zina amauka, ngati ali ndi mlongo wosakwatiwa, ndipo nthawi zina amagwa, ngati mmalo mwa mnyamata woyembekezera kwa nthawi yaitali msungwana wachinayi akuwonekera. Pazochitika zonsezi, nthawi zambiri kutsutsidwa kumatsanulidwa kwa mayi wamng'ono. Mlongo wamkulu, yemwe, mwinamwake, akufuna kuti akwatirane, ayesa kudzikweza, nthawi zonse akakhudzidwa ndi malingaliro a wamng'ono. "Malingaliro akunja akunatipweteka kokha ngati sitikukondwera tokha. Ngati mawu a mlongo wako akukhumudwitsani, ganizirani. Mwina simukusangalala kuti muli ngati mayi wamkazi. Ngati ndi choncho, yesetsani kusintha. " Potsutsa zidzudzulo zomwe timamva kapena kunena, nthawi zambiri timabisala kudzidalira, kudzikayikira, chisoni chifukwa cha mwayi wosaphonya. "Mukazindikira kuti mchemwali wanu akuvutika, chifukwa moyo wake sumawonjezera ndipo mawu ake sakhala ndi chiyanjano chenicheni ndi inu, mudzawachitapo kanthu mwakachetechete, ndipo chilakolako chochita chimodzimodzi chidzatha." M'mabanja omwe ali ndi abambo, amai ali ndi mavuto ena. "Ngati achibale akudikirira mnyamata, ndipo mtsikana akuwonekera, mayi ake aang'ono amadziimba mlandu. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti kupatulapo "selo la anthu", lomwe limaphatikizapo agogo, amalume ndi alongo, abale ndi alongo omwe ali ndi zikhalidwe zambiri, mumakhala ndi mabanja anu omwe ali ndi malamulo ndi zofunikira, banja lomwe mwana wamkazi wachinayi - osati chisoni, koma chimwemwe chachikulu. "