Psychological ya kupatukana ndi okondedwa anu

Pafupi munthu aliyense amamva kupweteka kwa imfa ya wokondedwa wake, kuchoka ku chikondi. N'zoonekeratu kuti izi ndizovuta. Zikuwoneka kuti pali njira zothekera! Izi - kupweteka, mkwiyo, kuvutika ... Koma chirichonse, ndipo kuchokera ku vuto looneka ngati losavuta komanso lopweteka, mukhoza kupita m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Ndisanayambe kukambirana za kusiyana, ndikufuna kufotokozera momwe njira zamaganizo zimakhudzira ndondomekoyi. Ndipo ngakhale musanalankhule za kupatukana, muyenera kumvetsa zomwe zinalipo kale. Ndipo izi zisanachitike - kugwirizanitsa, kugwirizana, kugwirizana. Anthu awiri osiyana kwa kanthawi komanso nthawi yowonjezereka ndi mgwirizano wapamtima akuphatikizana, zimakhala mtundu umodzi wothandizira.

Mu psychology, pali mawu oti "libido cathexis". Mawu awa akhoza kumasuliridwa pafupifupi monga "kuyika moyo" mu wina (ngati ndi funso la maubwenzi a anthu, chifukwa libido ikhoza kugwiritsidwa ntchito mu ntchito). Choncho, pakupatukana, chinthu chovuta kwambiri ndicho kuchotsa gawolo la moyo lomwe linayikidwa mwa wokondedwa. Pomwe njirayi ikupitilira, kutsata kwina kuchoka ku magawano kumadalira - padzakhala chilonda chodetsedwa, chovala choyera kapena njira yotupa yopitirira.
Pali chithunzi chokongola - kumwazikana m'njira yabwino, komabe kunena - chitukuko. Palinso mwayi "kukhalabe mabwenzi" ndi "adani mpaka muyaya". Zonsezi zingakhale msampha, ngati simukumvetsa zomwe zikuyendetsa munthuyo kusankha zosankha.

Kugawanitsa chitukuko.
Izi zikutanthauza kupatukana kotere, kumene mbali zonsezi zimakhazikika ndi dongosolo ndi chiletso. Palibe amene amamuuza aliyense, "ndife akuluakulu, tonse timamvetsa," ndi zina zotero. Osati mawu amodzi, opanda misonzi, opanda mlandu. Chithunzi choyesa ... Ndi mavuto otani omwe angakhalepo?

Chiwawa.
Yaikulu kwambiri ndi nkhanza zomwe zimachitika panthawi yopatukana. Pali lamulo lotero, limatsimikiziridwa ndi chizoloŵezi, - palibe kupatukana (kuswa) popanda chiwawa. Kumbukirani zaka zamtundu wotchuka. Zomwe zimachitika pa chitukuko cha mwana zimatanthauza nkhondo yapanthaŵi yochepa ndi makolo (mpaka pamtunda). Ndikofunika kubweza mmbuyo gawo lomwe la libido (mphamvu zamkati) zomwe zinayikidwa mwa makolo. Ziri zosatheka kusintha kuchokera kwa makolo kupita kwa anzanu ndi chikondi choyamba mwa njira yabwino. Monga momwe n'zosatheka kubadwira munthu wopanda magazi ndi ululu. Chisangalalo chonse mkati mwa chiberekero chiyenera kusokonezedwa ndi ululu ndi kuzunzika kwa kubadwa chifukwa cha moyo kale kunja kwa amayi. Mofananamo, chisangalalo cha ubwana chimasokonezedwa ndi mavuto a achinyamata chifukwa chokalamba. Chifaniziro ichi ndi choyenera kwa banja lachikondi. Pa nthawi ya mgwirizano, okondedwa amakhala mtundu umodzi, ndipo sitingathe kuswa mgwirizano umenewu popanda gawo "la nkhondo" lomwe likuphatikizapo nkhanza.

Chiyembekezo.
Koma pangakhalenso mphindi yosadziwika bwino, yomwe ndiyi: "iye (iye) adzayamikira, adzayamikira - momwe ndinatsogolerera (ndikudzipangitsa ndekha) ndikukhala ...", ndiko kuti, tikhoza kupeza masewero awiri - kudzipusitsa okha ndikumunyenga, kuyembekezera kuti chiyanjano chidzasokonekera. Kunyenga kulikonse kumafuna khama lina, kuyendetsa kwina ndi kuwononga zinthu zachirengedwe. Pachifukwa ichi, psyche imadandaula kwambiri. Chilichonse, ngakhale chinsinsi chiyembekeza, sichinakwaniritsidwe, chidzabweretsa mavuto ena.

Kutsiliza.
Tikhoza kunena kuti yemwe amati ndi "chitukuko", mophiphiritsira, amakana kuchita opaleshoni, kuopseza njira yayikulu ya nthawi yaitali. Zotsatira za mbiriyi zikhoza kukhala "amuna onse (akazi) ali ngati", mkwiyo kwa dziko lonse lapansi, "palibe chikondi ndi chilungamo m'moyo uno" ndi zotsatira zake zonse kwa munthuyo. Kawirikawiri "zolondola" zoterezi zikugawanika chifukwa chakuti mu ubale watsopano munthu amayesera kuti asayanjanenso, popeza kuti vutoli silichotsa, ndipo ngakhale kwa nthawi yaitali sichithandiza kuthetsa chidziwitso.

Malangizo.
Choncho, kuchokera kumalingaliro a thanzi labwino, ndibwino kuti apereke mwayi woti ziwawa zake zidziwonetsere. N'zachidziwikire kuti kuswa mbale ndi kuvuta tsitsi, nkhondo ndi zowonetseratu zoopsa ndi zina zoopsa. Ndiko kukuwonetsa nkhanza komabe muli otetezeka nokha ndi mawonekedwe ena. Monga zosankha - kufotokozera chirichonse popanda kuphwanya kwa omwe mumachoka, ngakhale mutakangana, kulira, dzipatseni thupi.
Kumbukirani nkhaniyi ndi chiwombankhanga mu mawu akuti "sangathe kukhululukidwa"? Kupuma kulikonse kumaphatikizidwa ndi nkhanza. Ndi chinthu china ngati icho chikudziwika kapena ayi. Munthu angathe kulakalaka kukhala wabwino, wotukuka, wolondola kapena wapamwamba, zomwe zingathetsere chiwawa chake. Mwinamwake iye sakudziwa nkomwe kuti ikuwotcha mmenemo. Pankhaniyi, pangakhale mavuto a maganizo m'tsogolo kapena kusokonezeka mwadzidzidzi mu ubale ndi anthu ena.
Kuchokera pamalingaliro a thanzi labwino, miyambo ya makhalidwe abwino yofunika kwambiri pa moyo wa "mtendere" nthawi zina imadetsa psyche. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, pakakhala mavuto, makhalidwe ayenera kusintha: zomwe sizili zoyenera kufunsa ndi zomwe siziyenera kuchitika, pamene zonse zili zabwino, panthawi yavuto lachilendo silimangolandiridwa koma ndi lothandiza (mwalamulo, ndithudi!).

Chisokonezo chamkuntho.
Ichi ndi china chosiyana, chosiyana ndi "kusiyanitsa" kupatukana. "Ulonda wowawa," umene umadziwika kuti umachiritsa kwambiri ndipo umachoka pachilonda choipa. Kwa ife. Koma mwachiwawa chiwonetsero cha nkhanza, zochitika zonse zoopsa, kuphatikizapo zidzipha kudzipha, nkhondo ndi zina zankhondo.
N'zoonekeratu kuti kupeza bwino pakati pa kuponderezedwa kwakukulu ndi chiwonetsero chowonekera kwambiri ndi chinthu chovuta ndipo sipangakhale malamulo. Aliyense amadzipeza yekha kukhala woyenera molingana ndi makhalidwe ake omwe. Mwinamwake chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndikuti tisachedwe mu izi kapena kupambanitsa.

Khalani mabwenzi.
Njirayi ndiyonyansa kwambiri. Mabwenzi angakhalenso kachiwiri pambuyo pa nthawi yopuma komanso atatha. Ndipo mofulumira "kuchoka" kuchokera ku gulu la okondedwa kupita ku gulu la anzanu ndizosatheka. Kukhala bwenzi kumatanthauza kupanga mgwirizano pazinthu zatsopano. Koma kuti mupeze mtundu watsopano wa ubale, muyenera kutuluka mukale. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti imfa imalira kwa chaka chimodzi (ngati kulira panthawi yomweyi, yomwe ndi yosavuta, ndiko kuti, nthawi yosamvetsetsa "kulira" muzochita zambiri).
Ngakhalenso mwamuna ndi mkazi aliyense atangotsala pang'ono kumangokhalira kukondana naye, amamuuza zakukhosi kwawo. Mtengo wa masewerawo - kutengera mphamvu kwa yemwe kale anali wokonda, mwinamwake, mwinamwake kubwezera ", mwa kuyankhula kwina, kuti aziwonetsa kuti akutsutsidwa.
Ubwenzi weniweni (osati osadziwika ndi chikondi chodana-chidani) pakati pa omwe anali okonda ndizotheka patatha chaka chimodzi mutatha.
Pogwiritsa ntchito mayendedwe oyenera, musamacheze ndi munthu amene kale anali wokondedwa kwa chaka chimodzi.

Adani kwamuyaya.
Njirayi imayambanso ndi misampha. Pachifukwa ichi, osati chiwawa choletsedwa, koma ... chikondi. Kumbukirani, ife tinayamba kunena kuti bola ngati anthu amapanga awiri - onse amodzi, kodi amawagulitsa, amaika gawo (nthawi zambiri yabwino) la moyo wawo wina? Ndipo zabwino zonsezi sizimatayika paliponse, ngakhale ziri bwino kuti ndi nthawi yogawanika. Zambiri zimayesetsa kuti chikondi chisatseke, kukumbukira bwino, kuchepetsa okondedwa awo - ndipo izi zimapweteketsanso psyche, komanso kuthetsa nkhanza kwa yemwe kale anali naye.
Monga momwemo, mugawo lachinai, pali kukanidwa kwa gawo lanu (malo okonda kapena odana ndi moyo). Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti "kudzipha pang'ono."
Dzivomerezeni nokha kuti ngakhale kuti mwakonzeka kupha "chidziwitso ichi", zonse zomwe mumamukonda kamodzi, mudakhala naye: minofu yamphamvu, ntchito yamtengo wapatali ... ndi chizoloŵezi cha kukupsompsani m'makutu anu ... simuli pamodzi. Ndizo zonse.