Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatsindika kuti mikangano yambiri ndi zolakwika zomwe zimachitika pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi zimakhala chifukwa chakuti sanaphunzire bwino. Kuwonjezera apo, zimakhazikitsidwa kuti kugwirizana kwa maganizo a okwatirana kumadalira, choyamba, potsanzira malingaliro awo za ufulu ndi ntchito za aliyense m'banja. Mu phunziro limodzi, anthu 100 okwatirana ndi 100 okwatirana anafunsidwa pa mutu uwu. Chotsani kusiyana komwe kunawululidwa. Mabanja omwe anatha kusunga ukwatiwo adasonyeza kuchuluka kwa kufanana kwakumvetsetsa maudindo a banja poyerekeza ndi omwe adasokonezeka. Choncho pamapeto pake kuti achinyamata amatha kumanga mabanja amphamvu, ogwirizana, ayenera kuthandizidwa kuti athe kupeza malingaliro oyenera pa maudindo a anthu omwe si amuna kapena akazi, kusiyana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi.
Zimadziwika kuti amayi ndi ovuta kwambiri, amalingaliro oposa, amachititsa kuti azikhala ndi maganizo ambiri m'banja, makamaka amakopeka ndi banja pofunafuna chitetezo ndi chilungamo. Poyanjana ndi ana, amai ambiri amakhala ndi udindo "wothetsera". Akazi, monga lamulo, ndi omwe amayambitsa kusintha kwa banja, kaya zimakhudzana ndi kugula zatsopano, zipangizo zowonjezera zinyumba, ulendo wopuma, ndi zina zotero. Tsoka, ndi akazi amene nthawi zambiri amakhala oyambitsa chisudzulo ... Munthu wam'mbuyomu anali wopeza. Amuna amaletsedwa kwambiri m'maganizo ndipo amakhala otsekedwa ndi anthu apakhomo monga momwe amachitira ndi mavuto awo. Mu ubale ndi ana, nthawi zambiri amatenga malo oletsedwa (oletsedwa) moyang'anizana ndi mkazi wawo. Zikuwoneka kuti zowonongeka, zotsutsa pakuyankha malingaliro atsopano a mkazi wake. Izi ndi zachilendo! Ndizosiyana zomwe zimakopana wina ndi mnzake, zomwe onse awiri ayenera kudziwa ndi kuvomereza. Komabe, chifukwa cha malingaliro awa otsutsana kuti ambiri okwatirana amatsutsana ndi zopanda pake.
Mwamuna akuti: "Ndine mutu," ndipo mkaziyo akuti: "Ndine khosi." Kulikonse kumene ndikufuna, pali mutu ndipo ndimatembenuka. " M'mawu akale, tanthauzo lalikulu la luso lokhala ndi mgwirizano pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, limatsimikiziridwa, pamene mkazi amadziwa kuti munthu ndi wamkulu kuposa wina aliyense, koma nthawi yomweyo, mosadziwika, osasokoneza udindo wake m'banja, popanda kuwononga ulemu wake, amatsogolera njira yothetsera mavuto a banja.
Kulingana kwachuma kwa abambo ndi amai kunachititsa kuti anthu azikhala ndi maudindo akuluakulu. Akazi amadziwa bwino bizinesi yayikulu, amapanga ntchito zandale, kupanga, kuyendetsa magalimoto, ambuye ntchito zomwe poyamba zinkaonedwa ngati amuna okhaokha (m'magulu, apolisi, ndi zina zotero). Amuna amatha kukhala ndi akazi okhaokha (mmagulu athu) akatswiri ochita malonda (malonda, catering, misonkhano). Palibe choipa apa, kupatula chinthu chimodzi: malingaliro a chikhalidwe pa kusiyana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ngati okwatirana akusweka. Ndipo izi, malinga ndi zomwe akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena, lero ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ndi kusagwirizana m'banja. Zisonyezero zasintha, ndipo maudindo amakhalabe ofanana. Mkazi ndi mkazi, mayi, wosunga malo, "jenereta" wa maganizo, maganizo a mnyumba. Mwamuna ndi mkazi, wokondweretsa, wotetezera, bambo ... Mkazi wina amadziŵa mosapita m'mbali tanthauzo la mawu oti "wokwatira": "Ndikufuna kukhala mwamuna wanga, kuti ndimverere kutsogolo kwake."
Kusamvana m'banja kumabweranso chifukwa chakuti okwatirana samvetsa, samavomereza kuti aliyense wa iwo pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku ayenera kukwaniritsa maudindo ena ofunikira omwe ali ofunika kwa iwo. Aliyense wa iwo ndi mwana / mwana wamkazi wa makolo okalamba, m'bale / mlongo, mphwake / mwana wamwamuna wa achibale, osati zonse zomwe zingakhale zosangalatsa kwa inu. Komanso ntchito zapadera, ntchito zapadera, komanso udindo wa mnzanu / woyandikana nawo, sukulu ya kuyendetsa galimoto kapena maphunziro achilankhulo, wogwiritsa ntchito intaneti, kawirikawiri maphwando apamwamba, galasi yogwirira ntchito, malo odyera nsomba, etc. ndi zina zotero. Mu banja lolimba, logwirizana, aliyense ali ndi gawo lake lomwelo, ndipo zosavomerezeka zake zimavomerezedwa ndi kulemekezedwa. Aliyense, kupatula udindo wa banja, ali ndi gawo limodzi la ufulu kwa mpumulo wake wokondedwa, kudzikonda. Ndizoipa ngati wina wa okwatirana kapena onse awiri akukhulupirira kuti "theka lina" ayenera kukhala firiji ya anzanu oyambirira, zosangalatsa, zokonda, zosakondweretsa ndizochilendo. Izi ndi momwe zimakhalira mikangano pakati pa okwatirana.
Mbali yofunika ya ubale wa banja, yomwe iyeneranso kuganiziridwa kuti akwaniritse maganizo, ndizofuna kuti wina ndi mkazi wake azidzivomereza. Aliyense wa ife amakhala ndi chidziwitso cha kudzidzimva ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhudzidwa ndi zoyesayesa za ena kuti azichepetse. Ndipotu, maubwenzi onse aumunthu ndi mgwirizano wa kuyesedwa nthawi zonse. Aliyense akhoza kukumbukira momwe kusangalatsitsika kwa anthu kuti ntchito yathu ikuyendera bwino ndi momwe kudandaula kwenikweni kapena kulingalira kopweteka kumaonekera. Koma kawirikawiri timaiwala kuti maubwenzi amtundu wina amafunanso chilungamo komanso nzeru.
Zomwe zimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kunyalanyaza umunthu wawo komanso kuvutika kwa ntchito zapakhomo ndi akazi. "Ndimapereka mphamvu zambiri kuti nyumbayi ikhale yosangalatsa komanso yokongola, ndipo mwamuna anabwera - ndipo sanazindikire." "Ndimayesera kuphika m'njira yowonjezera, ndipo banja ndi" zikomo "silinganene ..." Amuna amafunikanso kuti akhale pamaso pa anthu omwe ali amphamvu kwambiri, ozindikira, olimba mtima. Nanga bwanji za moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku? Sitimayang'ana zinthu zabwino, timayamika. Koma vuto lililonse, kulakwitsa sikudzasowa! Ndipo chochititsa chidwi: Mmodzi mwa anthu okwatirana angakhale ndi nthawi yambiri akudzudzulidwa mu adiresi yake, koma mosayembekezereka "akuphulika" kuchokera ku mtundu wina wa mawu opanda pake. Kwenikweni, izi zimachitika pamene chingwe chosalala chikugunda "mfundo yowawa". Mwinamwake iye anakhudzidwa ndi chisangalalo chachikulu chomwe iye sankakhudzidwa ndi iyemwini, momwe munthuyo amawopera kukwera, mosadzimadziletsa kuti adziteteze yekha ku zochitika zakukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, kufunika kochita chinachake chokhadikha. Kawirikawiri, amadziwika kuti: anthu ambiri amatsutsa molimba mtima kuti awatsutse mopanda chilungamo. Kumene kupweteka kumazindikira chilungamo. Ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi womvera, yemwe amamvetsera mwatcheru, amangoziganizira mofulumira ndikuyesetsa kuti asafike pa "sick callus", ndipo ngati izi zikulimbitsa, zichita bwino komanso osati zowawa, ngati dokotala wodziwa zambiri.
Ndi zoona kuti mkazi wanzeru amadziwa bwino mwamuna wake kuposa momwe amadziwira yekha. Izi zikhoza kutengedwa ndi munthu wochenjera, wanzeru, woganizira. Ngati okwatirana samayesetsa kuti adziwane bwino, kukhala ndi moyo kwa zaka zambiri, kusakhutira pang'onopang'ono kumakhala kovuta, kusungulumwa - sikuli kutali ndi chiwembu ndi kusudzulana. Kawirikawiri amadabwa: "Kodi iye anapeza chiyani mwa mkazi uyu? Mkazi wake ndi wokongola kwambiri." Ndipo iye anapeza chinachake chimene iye anataya mu banja.
Funso limabwera: kodi, nthawi zonse, chondanani wina ndi mzake ndi "kusokoneza ubweya"? Funsolo ndi lofunika kwambiri. Tiyenera kuyesa wina ndi mzake mwachilungamo. Tamandani moona mtima. Kuwongolera nkhaniyi, ndiko kuti, osapereka maonekedwe ndi makhalidwe abwino kwa munthu, komanso pofufuza zochita zake, zochita zake, mawu omwe amachititsa kusagwirizana mwa inu, osakhutira. Mwatsoka, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosiyana. Mkaziyo analibe nthawi yoti aike mwamuna wake patebulo pomwe mwamuna wake akufulumira kumuneneza kuti: "Wachilendo mnzako, msuzi! .." Kenako amamva poyankha kuti: "Muzhlan, wamwano, wosusuka! .." Zowonjezera "generalizations," ngakhale nthawi zina zimayandikira choonadi , nthawi zonse amamunyoza. Ichi ndi kutsutsa kosabereka, sikumalimbikitsa munthu kuti akhale bwino. Zowonjezereka, zikhoza kuyambitsa mikangano yambiri - zopweteketsa zokhumudwitsazo (ndiyeno musapite phokoso lalikulu) kapena njira zamatetezedwe (misonzi, validol, khutu lachisanu ndi chitali - zosankhazo ndi zosatha).
Okwatirana sangathe kunyalanyaza kuti akhoza kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyana. Aliyense amadziŵa izi: pali choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic. Ndipo ngakhale kuti chikhalidwe "choyera" sichipezeka, kawirikawiri munthu ali ndi zizindikiro za mitundu yosiyanasiyana, koma katundu wa chikhalidwe chimakhalapo. Chikhalidwe m'njira zambiri chimapanga mbali za kulankhulana kwa anthu ndi anthu oyandikana nawo. Mwachitsanzo, anthu amagazi amayamba kugwirizana, amacheza ndi anthu, amadziwongolera mosavuta, komanso amatha kudziwitsa anthu pang'onopang'ono, amasankha chikhalidwe cha mabwenzi akale ndi anzawo. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti kuwonjezera pa chikhalidwe, palinso makhalidwe a khalidwe. Munthu wabwino kapena woipa, wodekha kapena wamwano angakhale ndi chikhalidwe chilichonse. Ngakhale anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro osiyana, makhalidwe amenewa adziwonetsera okha m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Poganizira za kugwirizana kwa maganizo m'banja, musaiwale za lingaliro monga chikondi. Anthu omwe ali achinyamata anganene kuti: "Inde, ichi ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri kuti banja likhale losangalala!" Wakale adadziwa kale kuti kumverera kodabwitsa sikukudalira kwathunthu. Chikondi chimakhala chokwera komanso chotsika, ndi zaka zomwe sizikhala zolimba. Chilakolako chakuya chimapereka njira yachikondi, yokoma, yosamala, yosamala, kugwirizana komwe sikulola kuti okwatirana azikangana pazinthu zochepa. Kapena ... Izi "kapena" zosiyanasiyana. Koma komabe za chikondi. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amadziwa kuti ngati okwatirana amakhala m'chikondi, amakhala ndi mafananidzidwe a maganizo, omwe saopa zolakwa za wina ndi mzake - ichi ndi chodabwitsa kwambiri, chodziwika bwino ndi nzeru nzeru: "chikondi ndi khungu." Choncho, motsogoleredwa ndi achinyamata omwe alowa muukwati, nthawi zambiri amati: "Malangizo omwe mumakonda!" Koma poyamba ndi malangizo!