Kulikonse kumene achinyamata amakhala ndi makolo a mwamuna wawo, vuto lakumenyana ndilo lalikulu kwambiri. Mayi wamng'onoyo amabweretsa njira yatsopano yosungiramo nyumba yake yatsopano, zomwe sizimakonda amayi ake apongozi ake. Mkwatibwi amangophunzira momwe angalimire, nthawi zambiri amalakwitsa ndipo, ndithudi, amamvetsa bwino kwambiri ndemanga za mayi wina yemwe akudziwa bwino ntchito. Zikatero, mwamunayo sayenera kuyimilira (mwa udindo wake wa mwamuna ndi mwana, iye sali woyenerera udindo wotero), koma nthawi zonse ateteze mkazi wake, ngakhale pamene akuwona kuti amayi ake, osati mkazi wake, ali olondola. Mwamuna ayenera kuthandiza mkazi wake mwa chikhulupiriro chake mwa iyemwini, kumuthandiza kuthana ndi mavuto osakhalitsa ndikulimbikitsanso kukhala wodekha ndi wokhutira.
Palibe mwana wamwamuna, ngakhale wodziimira yekha, ali wodalirika mwa amayi ake. Sadzamuuza mwachindunji zomwe akuganiza kuti zingamukhumudwitse kapena kumulola kutanthauzira mawu ake kuti asankhe mkazi wamng'ono. Ndizofunika kwambiri kwa mwanayo, yemwe amaima pambali pa mkazi wake, anasiya yekha ndi amayi ake, kumamufotokozera zolinga za khalidwe lake.
Koma khalidwe loyenerera la mwamuna silidali chitsimikizo chothetsera mavuto onse omwe angatheke. Kupambana kwa vutoli kumadalira mpongozi wake, yemwe, mwatsoka, nthawi zambiri amakhala osalungama kwa amayi a mwamuna wake. Mlamu wake poyamba amasonyeza kuti apongozi ake ali okwiya komanso amakangana, ngakhale kuti izi sizogwirizana ndi choonadi, ndipo ngati apongozi ake ali ndi nzeru komanso munthu wanzeru. Inde, pali apongozi ake ndi okhwima, ndi achisoni, ndi osapirira, komanso osakhala ndi mantha. Nanga bwanji?
Mayi ake apongozi, monga tonsefe, amapezeka kuti akutopa, amakwiya, amafunika kudziyang'anira okha, ngakhale kuti, monga anthu onse okalamba, alibe khalidwe lapadera. Ngati mzimayi wachinyamata akuyamba kufuna kuti apongozi ake azisintha, chifukwa iye, ngakhale ali wamng'ono, ali ndi "kunyada kwake," sadzangopindula kanthu, koma adzasonyeza kupusa kosakhululukidwa. Mlamu wanzeru ayenera kudziyanjanitsa ndi apongozi ake, akhale amzake nthawi zina ngakhale motsutsana ndi mwamuna wake. Njira yopita ku mtima wa apongozi apongozi akudutsa mwa chibadwa chake cha amayi. Mlamu wake ayenera kumvetsera mwatcheru komanso amamvera apongozi ake kusiyana ndi amayi ake. Azimayi onse amafuna kuphunzitsa ndi kulangiza, choncho, apongozi awo omwe samadikirira "phunziro" lina amapita kwa apongozi awo kuti awathandize, awapemphe kuti awaphunzitse mwanjira ina, ndipo awauzeni kuti amayamikira kwambiri maphunziro a mwamuna wawo. Mayi aliyense amanyadira chifukwa chakuti amatha kulera bwino ana, komanso amayi a ana - makamaka.
Mlamu angamuuze apongozi ake, ngakhale ataganiza kuti amayi ake amamuvutitsa kwambiri mwana wake. Tsiku lina mpongozi wake adzakhala mayi, akhoza kukhala ndi mwana wamwamuna, ndipo "adzapaka" mwana wake monga amayi ambirimbiri asanafike pambuyo pake. Ndiyeno nthawi idzadutsa, mwanayo adzakwatirana, ndipo pano pali wina yemwe amadziwa mwana wake yekha "popanda chaka", adzalankhula kwa mpongozi wake yemwe adakhala mpongozi wake, kuti "amatsindika" mwana wake. Kodi angakonde kumva izi?
Ndikofunika kuphunzira nzeru zokhudzana ndi chisokonezo. Mkazi akhoza kuyamba "kuphunzitsa" mwamuna wake pokhapokha apongozi ake atakhala naye kumbali yake, pamene mayi adzafunsira kwa mwana wake kuti amvere mkazi wake pa chilichonse. Mlamu wake sayenera kumuona mkazi wake wa amayi ake: nkhondo yotereyi imatayika pasadakhale komanso yopanda tanthauzo lililonse. Chikondi kwa amayi ndi chikondi kwa mkazi ndi zinthu zosiyana kwambiri. Nsanje ya akazi awiri - mpongozi ndi apongozi ake - samabweretsa china chirichonse osati chisokonezo chowawa ndi chisalungamo. Mwamuna wosauka ali pakati pa miyala iwiri. Apa mpongozi wake akuyenera kuti apereke. Kuvomereza buku limodzi kale kuti moyo wa mayi umfupikitsidwa, ndipo pakakula ndi kusasamala zofuna zake, chikondi chake kwa mwana wake chikhoza kutha ndi mphamvu yatsopano. Makamaka kukhumudwa ndi zotsatira kwa amayi a lingaliro lakuti "mnyamata" wake akutengedwa ndi mkazi wachilendo ndipo iye amawonongeka kwamuyaya. Mayi wamng'ono ayenera kutsimikizira apongozi ake kuti sangamulepheretse mwana wakeyo, koma m'malo mwake, adapezanso mwana wamkazi ndipo posachedwa adzalandira zidzukulu omwe adzapitirize mtundu wake.
Mavuto omwe amapezeka mu mgwirizano wa mabanja awiri ndi ovuta kuthetsa pamene makolo ndi makolo samalankhulana ndi apongozi awo kapena apongozi awo, koma mwana wawo wamwamuna ndi wamkazi. Makolo amamvetsa bwino ana awo mofulumira, m'malo mwake amakumana nawo ndipo adzakhala okhululuka koposa momwe sangakhululukire mpongozi kapena mpongozi wawo. Komabe, makolo ayenera kumvetsetsa bwino kuti alibe ufulu wosokoneza moyo wawo wachinsinsi, kuti kusokonezeka koteroko sikukugwirizana nawo, ali aang'ono ndipo akufuna kukhala okhaokha, kulota za chinachake, ndiye momwe wina ankafunira kuti akhale okha.
Ngati pali banja latsopano, ndiye kuti mgwirizano uyenera kukhala woyamba komanso wachikhalidwe. Kugwirizana pakati pa achinyamata, komanso mu ubale ndi makolo. Mmodzi sayenera kunyalanyaza kumbali ina, kapena kukana ufulu wa makolo kutenga nawo gawo la chimwemwe cha achinyamata ndi kuthetsa mavuto awo pofuna mtendere wa mmodzi wa maphwando. M'zinthu zonse m'pofunikira kusunga malingaliro oyenera.
Makolo, makamaka ngati apuma pantchito, ali ndi chinachake chomwe sichikwanira achinyamata - nthawi. Agogo ndi agogo angawapatse zidzukulu ndi zidzukulu nthawi yochuluka kuposa amayi ndi abambo aang'ono. M'mabanja omwe makolo amalerera ana awo mwakhama, kuchepa kwa agogo ndi amayi sikumapweteka, choncho munthu sayenera kuchita mantha ndi izi.
Komabe, achinyamata atasintha udindo wawo wokweza ana awo kwa agogo awo, ndipo agogo awo amatsogolere pakhomopo, amaonetsetsa mphamvu za okalamba. Zomwe akufunikiranso sizikugwirizana ndi zaka zawo, kumva kutopa kumabwera mofulumira, ndipo kutopa kumabweretsa kusinthasintha kawirikawiri ndi kung'ung'udza, ndipo chifukwa chake, zimakhala zovuta kuti pakhale kusagwirizana pakati pa nyumba zomwe zimakhala zosasamalika kwa achinyamata ndi achikulire kwa okalamba. Makolo omwe poyamba adachita chisangalalo, tsopano amawalemetsa, omwe amafuna, koma sangathe kuchotsa. Musalole vuto lotereli.
Mikangano ndi yosavuta kupewa kusiyana ndi kuyesera kumangiriza pamodzi zomwe zatha kale.