Choncho, mutatha kudana ndi chidani, ndiye kuti chikondi chingasungidwe. Koma momwe mungasunge chikondi cha munthu?
Tiyeni tipeze chitsogozo m'malingaliro athu omwe tikukumana nawo. Ndikuganiza kuti kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi chikondi kwa anthu ambiri kumakhala ndi zochitika pamoyo wanu komanso kuzindikira kuti chikondi sichinasinthe pakapita nthawi kuti chikondi chenicheni chikhalepo.
Kotero tiyeni tiyambe ndi kugwa m'chikondi.
Pansi, mwinamwake, palibe munthu amene sanakondanepo. Dzikoli ndi lodziwika kwa aliyense: ndakatulo yoimbidwa ndi olemba omwe amafotokozedwa, ofalitsidwa ndi oimba ngakhale, ndi asayansi ndi oyesera, anafufuza. Chifukwa chake, sindidzadzibwereza ndekha, koma ndikupangira zosayenera, tonsefe, malingaliro. Tiyeni tsopano tiyang'ane chikondi monga mtundu wa mapindu omwe timapatsidwa mwachibadwa kapena ndi Mulungu kapena Dziko lapansi kapena Chilengedwe kapena Moyo, kapena mwinamwake ndi Chikondi, ndipo timadziwa momwe tingasunge chikondi cha munthu.
Aliyense wa ife, akazi ndi abambo, amadziwika ndi kukopa kwafuna, monga momwe tanenera kale, za munthu wochepa kapena wopangidwa. Tsopano tikunena kuti "zabwino". (Ndipo, bwanji osatero? Tiyeni tikhale "wokondedwa wathu"). Kotero, asayansi anabwera ku chisankho kuti mu udindo wa bwenzi wabwino wa moyo wonse, osachepera 10 000 anthu ali abwino kwa ife. Choncho, kuthekera kwakuti tawonana wina ndi mzake kapena ngakhale kukhala ndi "wokondedwa weniweni kwa ife" ndi kwakukulu kwambiri, kotero tiyenera kuyesetsa kusunga wokonda chikondi.
Funso: Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani kusudzulana kumafala nthawi zambiri? Nchifukwa chiyani munthu yemwe dzulo analumbirira chikondi chosakhoza kufa, lero angayambitse chidani?
Mfundo yakuti "adalipo kale" inali m'chikondi chimene tinamverera. Kugwera mu chikondi ndi chizindikiro cha ngati munthu wokondedwa wanu angakhale wokondedwa wanu. Komabe, kukondana ndi chithunzithunzi, maganizo okhudzidwa ndi maganizo, omwe amasonyeza bwino kwambiri mwa munthu. Uwu ndiwo mtundu wa nkhawa m'maganizo ndi thupi lathu. Mu dongosolo la kulingalira momveka bwino malingaliro, zochitika, ife sitingakhoze kukhalapo kwautali. Nthawi ndi zonse zidzakwera "zake" ndi .... izi zakhala zikugwiritsidwa kale. Koma tsopano mumadziwa za wokondedwa wanu kwambiri komanso zabwino zomwe zili mmenemo. Wokondedwa wanu, nayenso, adakwanitsa kupeza makhalidwe anu abwino. Ndipo tsopano pakubwera nthawi kapena chikondi, zomwe muyenera kuzipanga (pamodzi) kapena chizoloŵezi kapena kupatukana.
Kodi chikondi ndi chifukwa chiyani chiyenera kukhazikitsidwa ndi kusungidwa?
Chikondi ndi luso lapadera kulandira munthu wina monga momwe mumadzikondera nokha, thupi, chidziwitso. Ndikugogomezera: Dzivomerezeni nokha ngati wosiyana kwambiri. Ndi kangati, kuyang'ana pagalasi, timayamikira momwe timaonekera? Ndi kangati timadzimva tokha kuti ndife opambana mu moyo uno? Kodi timayamika kangati za zomwe takwaniritsa?
Kawirikawiri nkhani yothetsa chiyanjano pakati pa poyamba, kukondana wina ndi mzake ndikuti sitingathe kuvomereza ndikudzikonda tokha. Ngati sindingathe kuvomereza ndekha, ngati ndikuimba mlandu, ndikutsutsa, ndikudzikwiyira ndekha, ndiye ndingamulandire bwanji munthu wina, ndiye ndingatani kuti ndisunge chikondi? Choncho. Ngati mukumva choncho, ndi wokondedwa, ubalewu umataya pang'ono pang'onopang'ono udindo wawo, kuti phokoso ndi kutopa zifike kumalo okondwera kukumana ndi kulankhulana, khalani otanganidwa nokha.
Dziwani malire a moyo wanu, kumene mumadzimva kuti mulibe chidaliro. Tayang'anani zomwe mukufuna kusintha pa maonekedwe anu, nokha. Musaiwale: mnzanuyo ndi fano lanu, kalilole. Ndipo ngati simuli wokondwa nthawi zonse ndi khalidwe lake, zizoloŵezi, maganizo ake kwa inu - izi zikutanthauza kuti simukukonda nokha. Musawope kusintha, koma simukusowa kusintha wina, koma kuti mumve bwino komanso mutsimikizire.
Musaope kusintha. Kumbukirani sukulu, momwe phunziroli linasokonekera komanso momwe kusintha kwake kunathera mofulumira. Kodi ndi zinthu zingati zomwe mungachite mufupikitsa maminiti 10-15: kukangana ndi kupanga abwenzi, kulembetsanso zolemba kunyumba, kupambana mpikisano, kulandira chiwonetsero cha chikondi, kupambana mphotho, kuthamanga ... ndipo mndandanda umapitirira kwamuyaya. Nchifukwa chiyani tikuopa kwambiri kusintha masiku ano? Chimene chasintha, nchifukwa ninji "phunziro" losasangalatsa limakhala - komanso kusintha kofulumira kwakhala "gulu lakuda"?
Chomwecho: Kukhumudwa ndi chikondi - iyi ndiyo nthawi yomwe munthu ali ndi makhalidwe abwino kwambiri. Pambuyo pake, samachoka paliponse, amangoyamba "kuphatikiza ndi maziko" kwa ife ndipo ndi panthawi yomwe tikuyenera kumvetsa zomwe tikufunadi. Kodi timayesetsa kuti tikhale ndi munthu uyu mu moyo wathu wonse ndikukhazikitsa ubale watsopano pamodzi ndikusunga chikondi cha mwamunthu ndikuzindikira kuti sizomwe zidzakhalire bwino, tikufuna kuti chiyanjano chikhale chizolowezi kapena chikhoza, Kodi ndi bwino kuchoka?
Mwinamwake zonse zitatu zomwe mungachite, koma musaganize kuti alipo okhawo. Chowonadi chimatipatsa ife chiwerengero chachikulu cha zosankha. Ndipo njira iliyonse yosankhidwa ndi inu kuti mupititse patsogolo kugonana ndi yachilendo. Komabe, tiyerekeze kuti mumakonda chikondi, ndiye makamaka, yang'anani mnzanuyo monga momwe mukuganizira. Musaiwale kuti ngati simukukonda chinachake mwa osankhidwa anu, muyenera kudziyang'ana nokha ndikuwona katundu wanu nokha. Kuti muwone ndikusintha. Popeza pofuna kusunga chikondi cha munthu, munthu ayenera kusintha nthawi zonse. Kenaka, musawope kusintha ndi kusintha, kusintha kulikonse kumapangidwe ka maubwenzi, malo awo atsopano.
Ndipo potsiriza: dzikondeni nokha, dziveni nokha monga momwe muliri. Landirani nokha nokha kwathunthu. Tonse ndife anthu wamba, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti tili ndi ufulu wopanga zolakwitsa. Potsiriza, ndife kutali ndi Mulungu, tikungoyesetsa kukhala pafupi nawo, ngakhale amulungu okha, ngati timakhulupirira kuti akale akale amapanga zolakwitsa ndikupanga chisankho cholakwika.