Amayi okhaokha omwe angopangika kumene sakhulupirira ngakhale kuti akuyembekezera, akuzindikira kuti mgwirizanowu ukuwongolera zomwe akuyesera, amadzimva kuti ali ogwirizana. Koma ngakhale pa awiri awiri apambano, mphindi imabwera pamene aliyense ayesa kumasulira malingaliro ake, ndipo mavuto oyambirira mu chiyanjano amayamba.
Komabe, ndizosangalatsa, chifukwa chimachitika ndipo nthawi zonse zimachitika pamene chiyanjano ndi chiyanjano chiri ndi zaka za moyo wokhudzana. Koma ngati tonsefe timapereka nthawi komanso khama nthawi zonse, tcherani chidwi kwa mnzathu, ndiye kuti ubalewu udzakhalapo ndikupitiriza kusintha.
Kotero, nchifukwa ninji kuli kusagwirizana mu ubale, makamaka poyamba kolimba:
- Nthawi zambiri, zimatuluka, kupereka chidwi chokwanira, nthawi kwa okondedwa ake, kulimbikitsa ndi kumanga ubale wokalamba m'banja.
- kawirikawiri, kuwonongeka kwa ubale wa amuna ndi akazi, kulowerera mu pulogalamuyi, yoikidwa kuyambira ubwana, makolo.
Ndipotu, tikauzidwa kuti mu ubale wa banja kumafunika kuleza mtima kwakukulu, kuyesetsa mwakhama kumvetsa, kulemekeza wokondedwa, nthawi zambiri timakana.
Zikuwoneka kuti chilichonse chimachitika mwachizolowezi, ndikuti zonse zimapangidwa ndi zokha. Koma kodi izi zili choncho?
- mfundo yaikulu idakalipo kuti nkofunikira kusankha mosamalitsa mnzanu, kuona zolephera zake ndi ulemu, ndikuzitenga ngati zake, popanda kupatukana, kwathunthu.
- kumangophunzira kuphunzira kukhululukirana wina ndi mzake, osati kungovomereza, koma kumvetsa, ndi kudalira munthu, kudalira pa iye, kuti adziwone kuchokera kunja.
- Ndikofunika kuphunzira kumvetsera, kumvetsera wokondedwa, kuthandizira chirichonse ndi kumvetsa, osakana, ngakhale kuzisiya izo zikuwoneka ngati zopanda pake.
- Musati mupange mzere wanu wa moyo, asiyeni malo oti mukhale ndi ufulu. Ndiponsotu, palibe amene akufuna kuti azilamuliridwa ndi kulamulidwa ndi moyo wake. Munthu ndi mbuye wake.
- nthawi zonse ndizofunika kuthandizana, ndipo ndithudi pamodzi kuti mupite ku cholinga chimodzi.
- ndi omalizira, mwinamwake kuti sitingatsutsane, koma ndizomveka kuti alangize momwe angapitirire, popanda kukhudzidwa mtima, mwamtendere ndi mwanzeru, kuthetsa mavuto onse mu chiyanjano cha mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Muukwati, nkofunika kuti musamangodzimva nokha, komanso kuti mumve nokha komanso mnzanuyo. Ubale wachimwemwe ukhoza kukhalapo pamene pali kubwerera kwathunthu, kumvetsetsa kwathunthu, kulemekeza ufulu wa aliyense. Ndipo ndithudi, popanda chikondi, sitidzakhala ndi mgwirizano womwe timayankhula nawo, ufulu wa chikondi uyenera kukhalitsa kwamuyaya, muukwati wonse, mwinamwake udzakula kukhala ngongole ndi maudindo ena, ndi lingaliro lopusa la kugwirizana ndi umwini.
Mavuto akuluakulu mu ubale wawo, amawonekera chifukwa chakuti abwenzi samafuna chinthu chomwecho nthawi zonse. Chifukwa iwo amayesa mkhalidwewo kuchokera ku malo osiyanasiyana, zochokera pawongolingaliro lokhazikika paradigm la moyo lingaliro.
Amuna nthawi zonse amakhala otsimikiza kuti ngakhale musayesetse kumvetsa mkazi. Akazi amakhulupirira kuti amuna samatha nthawi zonse kutenga malo awo, ndipo amawamvetsa. Kusiyana pakati pa chikondi cha amuna ndi akazi ndi chakuti mkazi amakonda nthawi zonse ndi mtima wake wonse ndi moyo wake, koma munthu - yekha ndi maganizo ake ndi thupi lake.
Chinthu chovuta kwambiri ndicho kukonda, ndi kupitiriza kukonda kwa nthawi yaitali komanso wamphamvu ndi yolimba ngati nthawi yoyamba. Kawirikawiri ndizotheka kukondana mosavuta, ndi kukondedwa, koma osati kwa nthawi yayitali, koma kupanga banja, ndi kusunga chikondi, izi ndizojambula zenizeni. Ndizovuta komanso zovuta, zomwe zimakula kukhala vuto mu chiyanjano cha mwamuna ndi mkazi, ngakhale kuti sizikusowa chinthu chachilendo kwa ife, timangopitiriza kukonda moona mtima.
Kumpsompsonana kosautsa ndi zozizira zotentha, zili kumbuyo, chikondi ndi kutentha siziri zofanana, ndizozoloŵera ndizozoloŵera. Koma kodi zonsezi zawonongeka kuti? Mu mafilimu, mabanja ambiri okondwa omwe ali kale zaka zochepa, akuyang'ananibe mofanana ndi nthawi yoyamba. Tilibe zokwanira, nthawi yochuluka yotsata zokhumba za mnzanuyo, zambiri kudzimva yekha, ndi chikhumbo chake. Kumvetsetsani panthawiyi, ndipo kumbukirani zonse zakuya ndi zochitika zomwe zinali ndi chikondi.
Mwamuna amafunika kuphunzira mwachidwi kuona mkazi mwa mkazi, chithunzi cha moyo wake, osati mawonekedwe a fano la mayi. Mkazi kwa mwamuna ayenera kukhala bwenzi lapamtima, mthandizi ndi wolimbikitsira. Ndi nkhani yokha kuchita zinthu: muyenera kusiya kuwapachika namwino kwa mkazi ndikupeza nokha kuuma komanso kulimbitsa ufulu wanu wamwamuna ndi ufulu wanu. Mayi, muyenera kuphunzira kuti muzitha kudzikweza ndi kuona mwamuna yemwe sakwaniritsa zilakolako zake, osati woziteteza ku zovuta zonse, koma munthu wodziimira pafupi ndi amene adzakondweretse ndikuyenera kukhala moyo wake. Ngati mumupatsa ufulu ndi kulemekeza ufulu wake wodzipangira yekha, adzakwaniritsa zokhumba zonse za mkazi chifukwa cha kuyamikira komanso kulemekeza.
Pafupi ndi ife nthawi zonse ndi munthu amene timamuyenerera. Ndipo ngati pazifukwa zina, zikuwoneka kuti tikhoza kukhala oyenerera kwambiri, ndiye, mwina, timangodzidzimangiriza.