1. Yambani mapulani ndi maubwenzi osatha
M'maganizo, zotsatira za kusagwira ntchito, zomwe zimatchulidwa dzina la Blumy Zeigarnik, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo a Soviet, amadziwika. Anayesetseratu kuti munthu amene sanathe kuthetsa zomwe adayambitsa, akumana ndi mavuto aakulu, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, "amamatira" pachitachirechi, amatha kubwerera ku malingaliro ake nthawi zonse. "Zaka 15 zapitazo ndinali ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu wa maloto anga," akukumbukira mlembi wina wa ZhZh. "Ngakhale kuti tinali m'chikondi popanda kukumbukira, adakonza zopanda pake, pomwepo adachita nsanje, popanda chifukwa chomveka, ndiye adanena kuti sitinalengedwenso wina ndi mzake ... Potsirizira pake sindinathe kupirira ndipo ndinasiyana nawo, ngakhale zinali zovuta kwambiri. Ndipo zaka zonse izi ndinakumbukira buku lathu ndi chisokonezo, kupsya mtima, kupsinjika mtima, mkwiyo. Koma tsiku lina adayang'ana TV - ndipo adawona pa chinsalu cha Iye monga mlendo ndondomeko ya nkhani pa mutu wa ubale wa banja. Anayankhula za momwe amachitira ndi kusiyana kwake ndi mkazi wake, komanso momwe sanakhalire ndi akazi. Kumvetsera kwa iye, monga spellbound, ndinazindikira kuti inali nthawi yomwe tidali pamodzi. Ndipo potsiriza, ndinamvetsa zomwe zinali kuchitika, kuchotsa mkwiyo ndi kumverera kwachidziwitso chosadziwika, "tisiye" ubale wathu - ndipo tsopano sindikumbukira za izo, koma ngati ndikukumbukira, ndikumverera mwachikondi. "
Mofananamo, panthawi yavutoli ali ndi zaka 40, mkaziyo akuvutika ndi kugwirizana, ntchito ndi ntchito: Chingelezi chinayambika ndikuponyedwa pakati, chovala chosavala, kupukuta pa makina osokera, polojekiti yosamalizidwa yowonongeka kwa dipatimentiyo. Ayenera kukwaniritsidwa - kapena ndi khama lofuna kusiya zolinga. "Choyamba, lembani mndandanda wa zosavuta," analangiza katswiri wathu wamuyaya, katswiri wa zamaganizo Alexander Bondarenko. - Tsopano lembani pa pepala lapadera zinthu zonse zosaganizira, zopanda ntchito ndi zopanga - ndikuwotchera, motero ndikuikapo chizindikiro chophiphiritsira. "
2. Pezani ochezera osafunikira
Bwenzi limayitana mwezi uliwonse ndipo limapereka kukomana, kukambirana za amuna ndi ntchito. Ndipo ife tikukana, kufotokoza kuti palibe nthawi, palibe maganizo, ife timamverera moyipa. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kwenikweni sitikufuna kuti tikhalebe pachibwenzi, sitimayesetsa kunena za izi kwa mnzathu, kapena mwinamwake. M'dziko lamakono, munthu ali ndi anthu ambiri komanso odziwa nawo, ndipo timapitiriza kuchulukitsa chiwerengero chawo, kuyesa kukwaniritsa chikondi ndi chidwi, koma timapeza chikondi ndi chidwi kwa aliyense amene timayankhula naye. Ndikofunika kukana osowa osayenera. Lembetsani zolemba zanu chaka chilichonse ndipo musalowe m'maina atsopano anthu omwe simukufuna kupitiriza kulankhulana. Mwachidziwitso, otsogolera ayenera kuganiza kuti simukufuna kukumananso, nthawi iliyonse mukamva yankho lanu: "Pepani, ndilibe nthawi." Koma ngati mnzanu akupitiriza kuitana, ndibwino kuti mumuzeni zoona - mwachangu kwambiri.
3. Onaninso maubwenzi abwino
Kuyankhulana ndi anthu n'kofunika kwa ife, nthawi zambiri timapereka chidziwitso chochuluka, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kukhazikitsa chiyanjano ndi iwo. Pano pali chitsanzo chofanana. Kawirikawiri, amayi, akuyamba kukonda ndi makutu, amakhala odekha komanso osakanikirana. Ndipo ngakhale kuti amakwaniritsa cholinga chawo, mwamunayo amamaliza mwamsanga bukuli, amusiya misozi ndi misozi. Ngati mmalo mwa chipsyinjo cha mantha adasonyeza kulekerera chifundo, ndiye sichidziwika momwe zinthu zidzakhalira. Koma kupirira kwachangu kwa amuna kumangopangitsa mantha.
Kuwonjezera pamenepo, tikuchita zinthu zopusa, kuyesera kuti tikwaniritse zolinga zabwino kwambiri - tikuopa kupita kumtunda, tipeze mgwirizano wa anthu omwe ali ofunika kwambiri kwa ife. Chifukwa cha mantha awa, kusamvetsetsana komanso kusagwirizana kumagwirizanitsa. Njira yabwino yoyeretsera ubalewu, womwe uli wotsekedwa ngati kumiza, ndikutchula munthu kuti akambirane bwino. Kapena mulembe kalata, ngakhale atakhala m'nyumba imodzimodziyo. Pamene akuwerenga uthengawo, sadzayesedwa kuti ayambe kutsutsa zotsutsa zonse ndikudzikhululukira yekha, padzakhala nthawi yoti aganizire za malingaliro ndi ndemanga ... Kalata ndi ntchito yolakwitsa, yopindulitsa kwa iwe ndi wothandizira.
4. Chotsani malingaliro olakwa
"Ngati iwe ukandikonda ine, iwe ukanati undigulire ine makina awa!"; "Ngati iwe ukandikonda ine, iwe ukanadzuka m'mawa ndikuphika ine kadzutsa!"; "Ngati munandikonda, mungandiimbire tsiku lililonse!" Mawuwa ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zambiri zomwe anthu omwe timakhala nawo amadziona kuti ndi olakwa. Amagwiritsidwa ntchito ngati chiwopsezo kuti akwaniritse kwa ife khalidwe lofunikira. Kuwongolera kudzimva kumawoneka ngati mwana: Makolo amachititsa manyazi chifukwa cholephera kapena kunyozetsa anansi athu, aphunzitsi - chifukwa sitiyesa mokwanira kusukulu, anthu onse amafuna khalidwe lina kuchokera kwa ife. Vinyo akhoza kukhala othandiza pamene satilola kuchita (kapena kubwereza) ntchito zoipa kwambiri, koma nthawi zambiri zimangochotsa ntchito, kupeza njira zosokoneza maganizo za mavuto omwe ali ndi zaka 40 mukazi. Azimayi amavutika nthawi zambiri - kufufuza kwaposachedwapa ndi akatswiri a maganizo a Chisipanishi anasonyeza kuti mwa amuna, kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa kumakhala kovuta poyerekeza ndi amayi. Amatchulidwa makamaka mwa amayi a zaka zapakati pa 40 mpaka 50: akhoza kudziona okha ali ndi mlandu pa zonse zomwe zimawachitikira iwo komanso okondedwa awo. Kutumikira chiganizo chodzimva kukhala wolakwa ndi chizoloŵezi chodziletsa chimene muyenera kuchichotsa ngati mukufuna kudzidalira tsiku lina. Kumva kuti ndi wolakwa sikungakuthandizeni. Zidzakupangitsani inu kukhala wamndende wakale ndikukuletsani mwayi wakuchitapo kanthu pakalipano. Kusiya malingaliro a kulakwa, iwe umasiyanitsa udindo wa moyo wako lero.
Mungathe kuchotsa chilakolako chodzimva chisoni mwa kuwonera zamakhalidwe anu ndikuzindikira mtundu wa anthu - chiyanjano ndi ntchito ndizofunikira kwa inu, zomwe mumapereka ndikudzipereka kwa anthu ena, ndi zomwe mumapanga chifukwa simungathe kukana. Lolani nokha kuchita zomwe mukufuna - siziwononga moyo wanu kapena moyo wa okondedwa anu. Ngakhale lingaliro la kulakwa silikhalanso lowononga ngati iwe uphunzira kuzindikira izo. Mtsikanayo anaitana studioyo, ndipo anadabwa kwambiri, anamuuza kuti ayenera kugwira ntchito zambiri, ngakhale kuti anali ndi mwana wamwamuna wamng'ono yemwe amamuimba mlandu. Wothandizira wina wochenjera angakhale atawerenga nkhani yonse yokhudza kukhumudwa kwa malingaliro awa, ndipo mwachidwi anati: Mukudziwa, pamene ndinali wamng'ono mayi anga ankagwira ntchito, nayenso Lamlungu, kukonzekera kwa ine, ananditengera ku mafilimu ndi Ndinagula kwambiri ayisikilimu monga momwe ndinkafunira. Zinali zabwino kwambiri!
5. Muzidzipatula nokha
Musakhale waumbombo, msiyeni mnyamatayo akwere njinga; Tiyenera kukhala pamodzi, kupereka kwa mlongo wanga. Kuyambira ubwana ife takhala tikuphunzira kuganizira zosowa za ena - zimathandiza kumanga maubwenzi ndi kumverera ulemu kuchokera kwa ena. Mavuto amayamba pamene mawu akuti "Ganizirani za ena, osati za inu nokha" amayamba kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri pamoyo wathu.
Kukana zikhumbo zathu, kupereka operekeza ndi achibale kuposa momwe timalandirira, sitichita zinthu mwachikondi, koma m'goli la mantha osadziŵa kuti tikanidwa. Kawirikawiri zimachitika kuti nthawi yowonongeka ndi chisamaliro chakumbuyo imatsatiridwa ndi nthawi yachisoni chodzikonda nokha ndi kumverera kuti wolakwiridwayo anali chabe: "Bambo anga ndi ine tinagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zochuluka pa iye, ndipo simungathe ngakhale kulowa sukuluyi!"; "Ndakufikitsa kwa anthu, ndinakupangitsani munthu, ndinasiya ntchito yanu, ndipo mumayamba kuchita zinthu zolakwika!"
Chilankhulo china chovulaza chimene timauzidwa kuyambira tili mwana ndipo chimakhala chonchi: "Mungathe kuchita bwino!" Munthu amene adziwa lamuloli la akuluakulu ali mwana, amaona moyo wakuda ndi woyera: zonse kapena palibe, kupambana kopambana kapena kugonjetsedwa kwathunthu. Pankhaniyi, pali ngozi yaikulu kuti, popanda kupambana, adzakana kuyesayesa kwina, poopa "kuwononga zonse."
Kuti ayambe kukondwera muzochita zawo, ayenera kuyesa kuiwala za "cholinga choyesa". Musayang'ane ndi ena, koma ndi zomwe mwakumana nazo. Kumbukirani nthawi zomwe mumakhutitsidwa ("Ndazichita!"). Kumbukirani momwe munaphunzirira chinachake (mwachitsanzo, kukwera njinga kapena kulankhula Chingerezi). Mwa kuika maganizo pa mfundo izi, munthu angathe kuchiritsidwa ndikukayikira komanso kusakondwera ndi kuvutika maganizo kwa msinkhu wa zaka 40 mzimayi.