Bwenzi lapamtima kapena fano pawonekedwe la kanema - mwinamwake, nthawi zina ambirife timakopeka ndi mkazi, ndipo tikuyenera kuvomereza tisanakambirane. Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukonda mkazi ndi chikoka cha kugonana nthawi zonse kumakopa malingaliro osiyana.
Ndinapenga - ndikufunika
Ku maofesi a azimayi pa Net, ayi, ayi, ndipo mudzakumananso ndi mantha: "Ndinayamba kukondana ndi mkazi, ndiyenera kuchita chiyani?" Ndipo nthawi zambiri amayiwa ndi akulu, okwatiwa, ndi ana, okondwa kwambiri pamoyo wawo ndipo amadziwa ntchito. "Ndili ndi zaka 29, ndili ndi mwana wamwamuna wazaka zisanu ndi mwamuna, takhala m'banja zaka 7. Ndipo tsopano ndikukondwera kwambiri ndi mkazi, wogwira naye ntchito kuntchito. Ndimalingalira za iye nthawi zambiri, za kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukonda mkazi, ndimafuna kulankhulana naye nthawi zonse, ndikufuna kuti amusangalatse, chikondi ... "
"Ndikuganiza kuti ndinagwirizana ndi mkazi. Tinakumana pa intaneti, tinayankhula pa intaneti kwa nthawi yaitali. Tikukhala patali la dziko lapansi kuchokera ku mzake. Tsopano iye anawuluka, ndipo ife tinatha kukomana mu moyo weniweni. Ndimasangalala kwambiri ndi msonkhano uno. Ndipo usikuuno chinachake chinandidabwitsa kwambiri: Pa nthawi ya ubwenzi wanga ndi mwamuna wanga, mwadzidzidzi ndinazindikira kuti mmalo mwa mwamuna wanga ndimadziganizira ndekha - iye! "Kapena ngakhale:" Mkazi wapamtima kuntchito nthawi zonse amasonyeza kuti amandiyang'anitsitsa, ndikuwongolera, kukhudza, kukhumudwitsa ... Posachedwa ndinazindikira kuti ndinayamba kukondana naye - ndipo ndimamva ngati ndikukondana ndi chilakolako cha kugonana, chomwe sindinadziwepo kale ... "
Osadziwika nthawi zonse amawopsya
Ndipo palokha-amawopsyeza kaŵirikaŵiri: Mwadzidzidzi, moyo wokhalamo ndi wokoma mtima mwadzidzidzi unapeza chipinda chamdima ndi chinachake chosaloledwa, ndingathe bwanji mantha? Chifukwa chake, nthawi zambiri sitinayesere kutchula malingaliro ovuta komanso osamvetsetseka kwa amayi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, chikondi cha mkazi. Timayika mu zigawo zake, timayesetsa kukhala ndi ubwenzi wachikondi, kuyamikira kukongola kwa wina ndi mzake, khalidwe lachifundo, osadziwika bwino, potsiriza, kukhala "zopusa" komanso kutentha kwa nyengo ... Munthu wina, poyesera mogwirizana ndi algebra, kugonana amuna okhaokha kapena akazi okhaokha, chikondi mkazi, mbali ndi kuvomereza koopsa "Ndinayamba kukondana ndi mkazi" kosatha. Wina amasuntha kumverera kwa pansi pomwe pamtima, kumene imakhala ndi nsomba pamsonkhano uliwonse watsopano ndi chinthu chachilendo. Ndipo wina akuganiza kuti apite kumapeto - ndipo izi zimathera ndi kugonana, nthawi zambiri osakwatirana, mochepa kuti akhale paubwenzi wa nthawi yaitali.
Malingana ndi ziwerengero zosiyanasiyana , kugonana amuna ndi akazi okhaokha, kukonda mkazi ndi kugonana, kamodzi kamodzi pamoyo, anali ndi 1 mpaka 2 peresenti ya abambo ndi amai. Komabe, chiŵerengero cha zinthu zovuta ndizosakayikitsa kwambiri: anthu nthawi zambiri samangokhulupirira kuti angakonde kuiwala chifukwa cha kulera ndi makhalidwe abwino. Koma chidziwitso chomwe chingapezeke, chikusonyeza kuti kukhala pabedi ndi mkazi wochulukirapo ku magulu awiri a oimira ofooka omwe ali ofooka.
Choyamba, awa ndi atsikana aang'ono, omwe nthawi zambiri amaphunzira akazi. Amakhudzidwa ndi chidwi ndi ludzu la kuyesayesa, ndipo kawirikawiri kutembenuka, kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukonda akazi kumathandizidwa ndi moyo wochepa (malo osungirako, malo ogonera anthu ambiri). Kuwonjezera apo, kwa iwo ndi njira yopezera chidziwitso chaumunthu ngati ndi funso la ubale ndi mkazi wokhwima kwambiri: kumbukirani momwe ali mu "Liaisons Dangerous" Marquise de Merthey "akuphunzitsa" aang'ono Cecil de Volange, osakayikira kuchoka ku chiphunzitso kuti achite.
Chachiwiri , iwo ndi akazi okhwima - nthawi zambiri amadziwa kukopa kwa amuna awo patatha zaka makumi atatu kapena makumi anayi. Nkhani ya Cynthia Nixon (Miranda wochokera ku "Sex ndi City") amadziwika, atatha kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wake anayamba chibwenzi ndi mkazi, Cristina Marinoni, ndipo tsopano ali wokondwa kwambiri. Zilibe kanthu kaya kugwirizana koteroko kukuchitika kapena kukhalabe m'maganizo - ndikumverera mwadzidzidzi komwe kumatidetsa nkhaŵa kwambiri. Inde, kutsatira zolamulidwa za mtima ndikulembanso bukhu la moyo wanu kuchokera patsamba loyera ndi lolimba mtima komanso loyenera kulemekezedwa. Koma bwanji ngati sindikufuna kuganiziranso zofuna zanga zogonana, kuwononga banja langa ndi kuyamba moyo watsopano, zomwe zikuwoneka zovuta, koma zopanda chiyembekezo? Chibwenzi changa, yemwe anali ndi chibwenzi ndi mtsikana ali wamng'ono, mwinamwake anavomereza kuti zambiri mwazogwirizanazo zimapweteka chiyembekezo chawo. Ndipo sizinthu zokhudzana ndi maganizo omwe timakhala nawo kutali ndi anthu ogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kokha-kumvetsa kuti kugwirizana koteroko ndi chinthu china osati chibwenzi ndi mwamuna, ndipo kumanga nkhani zachikondi zachilendo ndi zosiyana kwambiri. Ndipo ngati mumvetsetsa, kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kodi kukonda mkazi ndiko? Kodi awa, kutali ndi malingaliro achikondi kwa bwenzi amachokera kuti?
Chimwemwe ndi pamene iwe umamvetsa
Ngati tilingalira zapadera - kukonda ndi mkazi tili ndi mwayi woposa munthu. Zakachitika kuti pafupifupi makonzedwe onse a kukongola amagwirizanitsidwa ndi thupi lachikazi: nthawi zambiri limayimilidwa ndi ojambula, olemba ndakatulo anaimba, ojambula adagwidwa. Kumbukirani kanema yakale yakale: Nthawi zambiri, mafilimu amafunika kuti azikhala bwino, ndipo kuchokera kwa ochita maseŵera, zinali zokwanira kuyang'ana pang'ono ngati nyani. Tsopano chiŵerengero ichi chasintha, koma ngati simukuwoneka mwachindunji, ndiye kuti zithunzi za akazi okongola zikhoza kupezeka tsiku lililonse losavuta kuposa anthu ozindikira. Kodi mungakane bwanji kuchuluka kwa kukongola? Ndiyeno - mukhoza komanso kusokoneza kuyamikira ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukonda mkazi.
Koma sikumangokhulupirira chabe. Kugonana kwachikazi kumasiyana kwambiri ndi amuna, ndipo mu lingaliro lakhutira ife timayesa kuposa chiwerengero cha zisokonezo pa nthawi imodzi. Kukhala wokhutira ndi kugonana kwachikazi kumakhala ndi chisangalalo chenicheni ndi chomwe chimatchedwa kukhutira, ndiko kuti, kukhutira ndi maubwenzi, kupeza kuchokera kwa wokondedwa chiwerengero chokwanira cha chikondi ndi chisamaliro. Mayi akhoza kukhala wokondwa muukwati, ngakhale atakhala wosakhutira mwathupi, ngati ali ndi kukhutira kokwanira. Ndipo ngati palibe chomwecho kapena china - chimayesa kukwaniritsa kufunikira kwa chidwi kumbali.
Kodi tipita kuti , ngati sitidzakhala ndi chidwi chokwanira kuchokera kwa bwenzi lathu, ngati tilibe mwayi wolankhula naye, kambiranani za bizinesi, kulira mu chovala? Ndiko kulondola - kwa bwenzi. Popanda chikhalidwe cha chithandizo kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo, mtsikanayo amayamba kukhala wothandizira. Ndipo kupeza kuchokera ku chidwi chake ndi kumvetsetsa kwake, timamasuka ndikusankha kuti sitingapeze munthu wovuta kwambiri m'moyo. Kudalira - maziko a chiyanjano - mu chiyanjano cha mabwenzi apamtima apambana kwambiri kuposa kale lonse. Mawu a chikhulupiliro chimenechi nthawi zambiri ndizokhudza, zomwe ziri kale zambiri mu ubale pakati pathu. Mu chikhalidwe cha akazi, kugwirana, kumpsompsona, ndi kukhudzidwa kumakhala kovomerezeka kuposa amuna - kotero atsikana omwe ali kale kuyambira ali achinyamata akukonzekera maudindo a amayi, omwe amafunikira kukhala ndi chibwenzi cholimba ndi mwanayo.
Ndipo kumene kukhudzana kwachinsinsi - apo ndi kugonana kumadzutsa. Thupi la munthu silingadziwe kuti ndani akukhudza - mwamuna kapena mkazi. Ngakhale mu chipinda cha misala pansi pa manja a katswiri mungathe kumva chisangalalo, osati kutchula chifundo kwa mnzathu wapamtima, amene timamukhulupirira. Kuukitsidwa kwa kugonana kwa theka la tulo kuyesera kuti azindikire yemwe angatumize chilakolako chake_ndikupeza mkazi wokongola ndi wachikondi pafupi ndi amene kukhudzidwa kwathu kumakhala kosangalatsa. Ndipo timayesetsa kugwirizanitsa izi osati cholinga, inde, kukhumba ndi kukopeka kwa munthu wina, ngakhale kuti kwenikweni sizowona, thupi limangokhalira kumasuka ndipo limagwirizana ndi chikondi.
Ndipotu, kukondana monga kumverera , kovuta komanso kovuta, kulibe chiwerewere. Mukhoza kukondana ndi munthu, komanso ndi chinthu, mu bizinesi, mumzinda kapena dziko ... Funso lina ndiloti sikuti mitundu yonse yakumverera kotero ndi yolandiridwa ndi anthu. Chigamulo chogwirizanitsa moyo ndi munthu watsopano chimamasulira kugwirizana kwathu ndi msinkhu wa anthu, kaya timakonda kapena ayi. Ubale, chinsinsi mwachinsinsi, ndi zolinganiza za tsogolo, ndikuganiziranso zofuna za mnzanuyo, ndikupatsanso nthawi yochuluka kwa iye ... Ngati simunakonzekere izi - ndipo ziribe kanthu kaya muli ndi chiyanjano chotani, ndi mwamuna kapena ndi mkazi - ndiye, mwinamwake, njira yokhayo yowonekera ndiyokhalira kupanga malingaliro anu a mtengo womwe udzasungidwa mu bokosi lakutali la mtima wanu. Akazi pankhaniyi ndi olemera kusiyana ndi amuna: ndi zosavuta kuti tipulumuke m'mabuku athu m'maganizo athu, ndipo timasiyanitsa kwambiri kuposa mithunzi yokhudzidwa. Ndipo mwinamwake izi ndikumverera kosadziwika - basi "belu" yomwe mukufuna kusintha chinachake mu moyo wanu, kuti mupeze njira yanu? Chokhacho ndikuchifufuza ndichofunikira, ndithudi, osati pabedi.
Mulimonsemo, ubale wa amayi awiri ukhoza kusunthira ku siteji yatsopano kokha ngati mmodzi wa atsikana amatha kukhala wotsimikiza mtima ndi womasulidwa - chifukwa, mwachitsanzo, ali ndi zoyenera. Tiyenera kudziwika kuti atsikana otseguka, mosiyana ndi amuna ambiri, kawirikawiri amapanga mwambo wokhala pachibwenzi pokhapokha pa "chiyanjano" chithandizo "kukhulupirira - kugonana kwa thupi - kugonana", ndipo amamva bwino kuti mkazi amafunikira thandizo pakali pano. Ndipo iwo akhoza kukhala abwenzi abwino - musati musabise zolinga zawo zenizeni.
Kukoma kwa chipatso choletsedwa
Kukhudzidwa pa nkhani yovuta imeneyi, wina sangathe kukumbukira malingaliro apadera a amuna ndi akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ku chikhalidwe cha kugonana kwa anthu ochepa. Si chinsinsi chakuti anyamata ena amasangalatsidwa ndi mafilimu olaula omwe ali ndi masewera achiwerewere. Komanso, nthawi zina samaganiza kuti akupereka bwenzi, ngati adachita ndi mkazi. Eya, amayi nthawi zambiri amasangalala ndi chikhalidwe cha chiwerewere, werengani magazini ofunika, mafilimu owonera. Palinso mabuku onse a pa Intaneti omwe ali pansi pa dzina la slash - awa ndi mauthenga okhudza kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi zochitika zambiri zachikondi, ndi kutenga nawo mbali kwa anthu omwe analembedwa ndi wolemba kapena kale. Amayi ambiri amalemba ndikuwerenga, nthawi zambiri amakula, ndi mabanja ndi ana. Kodi ifeyo timakopeka bwanji ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha?
Kukongola kwa masewera achiwerewere kuti azigonana molimba ndi ofanana ndi momwe iwo amasangalalira poyang'ana akazi amaliseche. Zithunzi zoterezi - izi ndizo chinsinsi cha akazi cha kugonana kwa akazi okhaokha, chikondi cha mkazi, chomwe nthawi zambiri sichiloledwa kwa amuna. Kuwayang'ana iwo, mwachiwonekere kapena mwachinsinsi, mwamuna amakhala ndi chisangalalo, chomwe nthawizonse timakhala nacho chochita ndi zinthu zoletsedwa. Kuti abvomerezedwe kumalo achikondi a akazi awiri, mwamunayo alibe mwayi, ndipo palibe chomwecho chomwe chimapangitsa osaka awa ndi ogonjetsa ngati chosatheka cha cholinga.
Koma kwa amayi omwe amakonda mabuku ndi mafilimu okhudzana ndi amuna okhaokha, zolimbikitsa zimakhala zosiyana kwambiri. Pali amayi ambiri omwe sakondwera nawo okha, ndi matupi awo. Choncho, kukonda zochitika za amayi okongola kumawapangitsa kusakondwera. Ubale pakati pa amuna awiri okongola, omwe muli chikondi, ndi kukondana, ndi kukopa kwaukali, amawapatsa zonse zomwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito powerenga mabuku ndi kuyang'ana mafilimu achikondi - okha popanda kuthandizana ndi wina aliyense. Ndimawonjezera kuti pamene ndikuonera zolaula, amayi nthawi zambiri amabwera m'malo mwa mwamuna aliyense, zomwe zimawapatsa mwayi woti azidziyesa okha komanso kuti azichita zinthu molimbika.
Chidziwitso chodziwikiratu ndi chakuti chilakolako chathu chokongola kukongola kwa mkazi wina, kumverera mwachifundo ndi kumusangalatsa, chimatsimikizira kuti ndife okondwa ndi maonekedwe athu ndi kukongola kwathunthu, sitimvera nsanje komanso timafuna kuchotsa mdaniyo. Ngati, ndithudi, kukopeka kwa amayi sikumayanjanitsidwa ndi kukhumudwa mwa amuna, monga momwe zimachitikira akazi ambiri amodzi ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Mwachidziwikire, mkazi yemwe amadzikonda yekha ndi ena, makamaka okonda abambo ake, amakumana ndi chinachake monga kugwera m'chikondi - mofanana ndi momwe amaperekera moyo wamba. Kukongola kwa akazi ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri ya kukongola kwa dziko lapansi. Kotero bwanji osasamala ndi kusangosangalala nazo - popanda nsana iliyonse?