Inde, ali ndi zaka zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri, amasiyanitsidwa ndi amayi awo mwa kusintha kwa "chikhalidwe cha amuna", kuphatikizapo, atangotha kusudzulana alibe kuvutika maganizo kapena zovuta, samakumbukira moyo wa banja losangalala, samadziimba mlandu ndipo sachita mantha tsogolo. Malingana ndi chiwerengero cha akatswiri a maganizo, anthu 65% amakwatirana patadutsa zaka zisanu chisudzulo, koma taganizirani kuti banja loyambirira ndilobwino, 15% akwatirane pakati pa zaka zisanu ndi khumi, ndipo 20% amapeza banja losatha kapena kulenga banja latsopano patatha zaka 20 kapena kuposa, nthawi zina amakhala okha.
Komabe, zaka khumi zapitazo, akatswiri a maganizo, akatswiri a maganizo a maganizo ndi anthu ogonana akuyang'anitsitsa zomwe amuna amachita pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Chifukwa chake ndi chakuti pafupifupi 30 peresenti ya amuna amakhala makasitomala awo, pamene ali theka la milandu amatsogoleredwa ndi akazi akale. Amuna omwe amasudzulana kawirikawiri amakhala opsinjika komanso osokonezeka, amazunza mowa mopitirira muyeso kapena amadya mopitirira muyeso, alibe chidwi chochepa pa ntchito ndi kugonana, kuthamangitsidwa msanga komanso matenda ena ogonana. Kupititsa patsogolo kwa syndromes izi pakapita zaka ndi theka pambuyo pa kusudzulana (kapena "mwezi wachisanu ndi chiwiri") ukufotokozedwa ndi kukhumudwa. Mfundo yakuti mwamuna pambuyo pa chisudzulo amaimira kuti "kunja" adzakumana ndi mkazi wabwino - wokongola, wamkono, wachifundo, wosamalira komanso wamng'ono. Komabe, tchuthi sizingatheke - nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi kutsutsidwa, kusasamala mokwanira komanso ngakhale kusakhulupirika kwa chiwerewere. Chotsatira chake, amayang'ana mozama amayi, koma izi zimabweretsa kuvutika maganizo.
Mwanjira yatsopano, amayesa moyo wam'mbuyomu, ndikumbukira nthawi zabwino kwambiri. Panthawiyi, amuna ambiri akufuna kubwerera ku banja, koma malamulo owopsya a amuna amaletsa izo. Panthawiyi, amadziwa kuti si onse omwe amapatsidwa okha kuti azikhala okha. Ambiri mwa iwo ali ndi zovuta zambiri, zomwe zimathandizidwa m'moyo wa banja ndi akazi: chikhumbo chakumwa kapena kudya pamwamba, kukhala ndi zosangalatsa komanso kugonana. Pa "chifuniro" palibe amene amalepheretsa izi, koma udindo wa banja umapereka mwayi kwa mwiniwake. Palibe yemwe amamuthandiza iye mu nthawi yovuta, samamupatsa iye kanthu ndipo samamupangitsa iye. Ndipo nthawi zambiri kugonana ndi abwenzi kapena abwenzi nthawi zambiri mphamvu zamaganizo ndi zamagetsi zimagwiritsidwa ntchito. Ndipotu, mosiyana ndi mkazi wake, thupi limene mwamunayu wasintha kale, watsopanoyo amafunikanso kugonana kwambiri, nthawi yaitali komanso yogonana kwambiri.
Ndipo kuti musinthe, mukufunikira misonkhano yosachepera asanu ndi isanu ndi iwiri yokhala ndi chibwenzi chochepa, muyenera kupitiriza kulankhula naye, nthawi zina mumubwerere kunyumba, mosamala mosamala. Choncho, akatswiri a maganizo omwe adapeza zomwe mwamuna amachita pambuyo pa chisudzulo, alangiza akazi akale kuti asataye mtima, komanso kuti asaganize kuti chisankho cha mwamuna chili chotsimikizika komanso chosasinthika. Inde, musamapangitse zolakwa, muthamangire pambuyo pake ndikupempha kubwerera. Ndi bwino kusunga ubale weniweni mwa kutsegula chitseko kufikira munthuyo atapitirizabe kukondana. Malingana ndi chiwerengero cha mizinda yayikuru ku Russia, munthu aliyense wachitatu akufuna kubwerera kwa mkazi wake wakale, ndipo munthu aliyense wachinayi amabwerera kwa iye. Wokondedwa wa mwamuna amene wasudzulanso amafunikanso kukhala woleza mtima ndipo sadadabwe kuti iye, ngakhale kuti akumva bwino ndi iye, amangokhala pamisonkhano iwiri kapena itatu pamlungu, popanda kufulumira kuti ayambe banja.
Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti adasiya mkazi wake osati kuti amange moyo wokhudzana ndi wina. Amasowa ufulu, kuphatikizapo kugonana, choncho musamufulumire, kuti asaswe. Kawirikawiri, mkazi sayenera kulakwitsa kuti mwamuna pambuyo pa zisanu kapena zisanu ndi ziwiri kapena khumi za banja lopambana amaganiza za mkazi watsopano watsopano. M'malo mwake, atatha kusudzulana, adzalumikizana ndi "moyo wautali wautali". Choncho, amayi sayenera kugwiritsa ntchito moyo wawo wonse akudikira, kukankhira kutali ndi ena omwe angathe kukhala nawo.
Wosudzulana nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi amodzi kapena awiri kapena awiri ndi akazi angapo. Koma kwa mkazi yemwe amamudera nkhawa, ayenera kuchitapo kanthu ndikuvomereza. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatchula malo awiri osiyana ndi azimayi ogonana ndi amuna pambuyo pa chisudzulo: mbali imodzi - hyperopeak ndi ntchito zapakhomo ndi zapakati, zogwirizana ndi zokopa; wina - kusayanjanitsika ndi kubwezeretsedwa kwa chisamaliro chokwanira ku ubale wolimba kwambiri. Zonsezi ndizosathandiza. Mzimayi amene akufuna, mumayenera kudziwonetsera nokha pazomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku, komanso pogonana, koma musapitirize.